reinvented21

Dating websites are really good.

Hey, How are you? I guess not to good. I guess the first question you need to ask yourself is....am I helpless? Am I a ragdoll? IF the answer is no, then you are more than ready to change and grow. If the answer is yes.....then we have no business talking. I think your not helpless. I consider 15 the perfect age to want to change. I wish more people were as ambitious as you. Anyway, you need to ask yourself some more questions such as why am i having a hard time making friends. What am I afraid of? Why am i afraid to take risks? Who am I hurting by not taking risks and enjoying life? So why do you have a hard time making friends? Do you think its because your not good enough and deserving enough to have friends. Do you feel that people would judge you in some way? Maybe you are just procrastinating. Do you feel like you "cant stand" putting in the effort to make friends? Do you feel like you should be perfect in order to have friends? Its too easy to just say i have a hard time making friends. There has to be some underlying mistaken beliefs that are causing you to have a hard time making friends. Try to work on it on your own. I will give you some examples. Example one: You think to yourself: I want to go to that party that so and so invited me to on friday, but I shouldnt because I'm afraid that people are going to think I look stupid or people are going to laugh at me. You counteract that thought: What evidence do I have that people are going to laugh at me at the party? I guess none. Up until the point that I continue holding that belief I am only hurting myself. I better go to that party so I can meet some new people Example two: I need to think of the perfect thing to say to those guys over there so they think I'm cool enough to hang out with. You counteract that thought: What law says I need to be perfect in order for people to like me? None I guess. Well even if they dont like me, so what? I deserve to feel ok right now. Example three: I dont like putting in the effort to make new friends. I feel so worthless because everybody thinks i'm a loser. You counteract that thought: What law says I need to enjoy putting in the hard work to make new friends? None. It is frustrating, but I can stand the temporary pain for a little longer so I can make new friends. Those my friend are just a few examples of what I am talking about. I suggest you right down what you are feeling and try counteracting those negative thoughts. In terms of meeting people. I suggest you do your best to take the risk. The world is a place to grow and have fun. For your life to be fullfilling you will need to take many many risks. Maybe choose one day out of the week to meet new people. Join a club. Get involved in sports. Meet people with similiar interests. Dont worry about fitting in, just be yourself. If you need more help, I suggest you seek out professional help from a qualified counselor or therapist that can give you much more detailed and useful information. I wish you the best of luck. You are not helpless. You can work through this. You are a brave individual. Now go out and get the life that you deserve. God bless!

Hey, Here is the copy of an article I found that may help you out....enjoy! "The Catholic Church is telling people in countries stricken by Aids not to use condoms because they have tiny holes in them through which HIV can pass - potentially exposing thousands of people to risk. The church is making the claims accross four continents despite a widespread scientific consensus that condoms are impermeable to HIV. A senior Vatican spokesman backs the claims about permeable condoms, despite assurances by the World Health Organisation that they are untrue. The church's claims are revealed in a BBC1 Panorama programme, Sex and the Holy City, to be broadcast on Sunday. The president of the Vatican's Pontifical Council for the Family, Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, told the programme: "The Aids virus is roughly 450 times smaller than the spermatozoon. The spermatozoon can easily pass through the 'net' that is formed by the condom. "These margins of uncertainty... should represent an obligation on the part of the health ministries and all these campaigns to act in the same way as they do with regard to cigarettes, which they state to be a danger." The WHO has condemned the Vatican's views, saying: "These incorrect statements about condoms and HIV are dangerous when we are facing a global pandemic which has already killed more than 20 million people, and currently affects at least 42 million." The organisation says "consistent and correct" condom use reduces the risk of HIV infection by 90%. There may be breakage or slippage of condoms - but not, the WHO says, holes through which the virus can pass . Scientific research by a group including the US National Institutes of Health and the WHO found "intact condoms... are essentially impermeable to particles the size of STD pathogens including the smallest sexually transmitted virus... condoms provide a highly effective barrier to transmission of particles of similar size to those of the smallest STD viruses". The Vatican's Cardinal Trujillo said: "They are wrong about that... this is an easily recognisable fact." The church opposes any kind of contraception because it claims it breaks the link between sex and procreation - a position Pope John Paul II has fought to defend. In Kenya - where an estimated 20% of people have HIV - the church condemns condoms for promoting promiscuity and repeats the claim about permeability. The archbishop of Nairobi, Raphael Ndingi Nzeki, said: "Aids... has grown so fast because of the availability of condoms." Sex and the Holy City includes a Catholic nun advising her HIV-infected choirmaster against using condoms with his wife because "the virus can pass through". In Lwak, near Lake Victoria, the director of an Aids testing centre says he cannot distribute condoms because of church opposition. Gordon Wambi told the programme: "Some priests have even been saying that condoms are laced with HIV/Aids." Panorama found the claims about permeable condoms repeated by Catholics as far apart as Asia and Latin America. · Steve Bradshaw is a correspondent with Panorama. Sex and the Holy City will be broadcast on BBC1 at 10.15pm on Sunday."

You want to lose weight? Losing weight involves a combo of three factors. the first is diet. the second is weight training and the third is cardio. By far the most important is diet. You dont need to be on a very strict diet to lose weight, however here are some helpful tips on losing excess flab. First drink plenty of water. I would say @ least a half gallon a day, but shoot for a gallon. Water is great because it prevents youre body from holding onto excess water which gives you the bloated look and feeling. Drinking more water alone can be a powerful tool. Next-check youre protein/fat/carb ration when eating. Make sure you have quality protein such as lean chicken, tuna, or eggwhites with each meal. Keep youre carbohydrates checked. Have youre largest serving of carbs in the morning. In fact I would suggest having youre starchy carbs and breads and cereals in the moring. After about 2pm I would switch to leafy greens. Keep youre fat intake very low. You can consume EFA's (essential fatty acids) from olive oil and fish, but stay away from junk food. In fact only allow youreself one cheat day a week. Remember everything in moderation. To rev up youre metabolism even more watch youre eating patterson. Eat smaller meals every two to three hours. Next-Cardio From what I have read, and noticed from my own results I would suggest doing cardio first thing in the morning before breakfast. AT this time youre sugar levels are down and youre body will be burning majority fat stores instead of majority sugar. Perfrom cardio 3-5 days a week for at least 20-30 minutes on an empty stomach early in the morning Weight training-- Hit the weights. More muscle tone means healthier metabolism. You dont have to go superheavy, but do something. Make sure you hit each bodypart thorougly. Hit the weights at least three times a week. Feel free to do any other activity you enjoy. It could be anything such as jogging, rowing, boxing, anything, just eat properly and get that body moving. Hope this helps!!!!!!!

Let me put it to you like this.... If she is not that interested in him, then it probably wont last. Then again, what makes you think she isnt that interested in the guy she is going out with. Its probably quite the contrary. During the initial phases of any intimate relationship there is much excitement. Her interest level in this dude may drop, but if she just started dating him(unless she is just settling for anybody) she is probably interested in this guy. So now what? Youre best bet is too not be impulsive. Dont let youre emotions run you. Control youre emotions. Certainly dont run up to the girl and kiss her. I wouldnt pour youre feelings out to her either. If I were you I would do one of a couple things. One is leave her alone. If she has a boyfriend or a guy she is seeing, respect that and move on. Then again, youre next choice, if choose to be so daring, and want to take her away from this new guy is to be the challenge guy. Clean up youre act if necessary. Work out if you dont. Buy a new wardrobe, if you dress like a mess. Flirt with her subtly. Compliment her alot. Remain mysterious. Always wear cologne. Dont be the dredded "nice guy". Then when you sense that she is having problems with this guy, make youre move. Tell her something like.....Hey why dont you give me youre number so I can call you. Once you get her number only call her to make dates. Dont stay on the phone with her for more than five minutes. Dont let her know youre life story. Focus more on her thoughts and feelings and emotions. Remain a challenge and she will come to you. Other than that youre best bet and probably the safest is to just let her go and find someone without a boyfriend(or someone she is talking to). I wish you the best and hope this helps.

Hello, I am more than willing to help you. First and foremost you need to take back control of youre life. So now the question is how do you do that. I will give you an analogy. Do you know how president Bush is fighting a war on terror. You need to do the same thing. You need to fight the terrorists within youreself. You need to lay out a battle plan and do the best you can to change. Circumstances are what they are, and you cant change them, but you can change the way you react to them. So what exactly is the best medicine for you. First I suggest you go get help immediately. If possible get some counseling from a qualified therapist. You want to change youre outlook on life....well you need help. Dont frown upon therapy. It can be tough, but it is very rewarding. With the aid of a good therapist you can overcome all of youre major problems. Youre life is precious, if you can change youre negative outlook, you will one day see what life has to offer. Next. I suggest you start reading and writing. What do I mean? Lets examine this. I mean get a pen and paper and write down all the problems you have such as anxiety, depression, issues with youre parents, etc. Go to a reputable bookstore or website and find books on youre issues. Pickup books that can help you overcome anxiety. Pickup books to help you learn to love youreself. Pickup books to help you with depression. There are tons of books out there that can help you, trust me, I have read them! Next, you need to instill positive things in youre life. I suggest you work out. Excercise releases endorphins in the body which help you to feel better, and it creates a natural high. I suggest you get some hobbies/intereests. I think the Martial arts is a great hobby, and there are many many more. I suggest you make sure you watch youre diet. Foods can affect youre mood. I suggest you work on the friendships you have. I suggest you lean relaxation skills such as autogenic training or meditation. Write youre feelings in a journal every night for at least ten minutes. Set goals for youreself, I think you mentioned music. Set weekly, monthly, and daily goals for youreself that you can look forward to accomplishing. If you are not religious, maybe now is a time to look toward a higher power. Often times belief can give us a sense of comfort. There are many many other things that you can do, you may need medication(temporarily) then again you may not. Trust me, if you work hard on youreself and try to win this inner war, you will succeed. Be prepared it could take years, change is slow, but its worth it. Be prepared it could be painful, but its worth it. One day you will accomplish everything that you dream possible. One day you will overcome the issues with youre parents. One day you will overcome the anxiety and depression. Work hard and and you will win, I promise. I wish you the best of luck

Hey, I think that is a great question. I firmly believe it is possible. You arent in love with youre friend. You love youre friend. There is a big difference. I guess its sort of like how you love youre pet, or a family member, maybe a little different though. I think in youre case the best way to express youre feelings to youre friend without sending the wrong message is through youre actions. Continue being there as a great friend. Be someone she can turn to when the times get rough. Be someone who can keep her company when she is lonely. Do little random acts of kindness for her, trust me she will know how much you care about her. Actions speak louder than words.

Hey, You know....no matter how bad the breakup went, I firmly believe that ex's, especially the ones who go out with you for a long period of time will have a soft spot in their heart for you. Youre ex has a soft spot for you, he doesnt want to see/hear about you getting very sick or maybe dying. I can think back to some of my ex's, I wouldnt want to hear about them getting sick, and if I did, I would be concerned as well. I really dont see the conversations length with youre friend being all that important, it is possible that you are reading too much into it. Then again, anything is possible, and it is possible he does miss you, but I doubt enough to get back together with you. If he wanted you back bad enough, no matter how busy he was he would find the time to go see you in person. I think you should continue playing it cool, like you have been. Relationships are not a science, there are no exact answers. Every situation, and every relationship will vary. However, I do think that it is possible the "no contact" thing may be working. Whatever you, do just dont act on impulse and do something you may regret. Peace

Hey, Are you a ragdoll or a human being? If you are ragdoll keep letting her toy with you. If you are a human being stop letting her do this to you. Cut off all contact with youre ex. She is using you and you are letting her. I believe you can do much better as well, let her go, improve youreself, and eventually find someone much better.

Hey, I think that you had good intentions with the letter, but I dont think it was the best idea for youre situtation. A couple things need to be mentioned. Self-confidence needs to come from the inside, not from anybody else. Always remember that. Dont rely on sex or another person to make you feel good about youreself. Take time out for youreself and work on true self confidence, that is what women find attractive...true self confidence. When you are confident and feel good about youreself, others do as well. As far as contact goes, at this point I dont think it matters. I think from the begginning of the breakup, no contact would have been youre best bet. I think now you just need to break off all contact,by phone, in person, or by letter, it doesnt matter. Break off contact for you. Its the best thing you can do for youreself. Remember she cant miss what is always around. Remember she is having fun with this other guy, while you play the doormat. Dont torture youreself. Youre not a ragdoll, you are a human being. You deserve the best. You may want to do an internal audit on youreself to examine youre feelings/emotions. Give youreself time to heal. Maybe one day she will come back, but until then allow time to heal youre wounds and reinvent youreself. I wish you the best.

Hey, First of all, I think that youre letter was very well written. Let me ask you a few questions to stimulate youre mind. Do you think that you should be dating someone else right now? I mean, is it fair to her....and even more important is it fair to you? I think that you really care about youre ex, and I dont think you are over her. This new girl might develop feelings for you, and I dont think thats fair to either one of you. Another question is how did you feel about youre ex talking to this new guy??? I doubt you were tap dancing. My point is this, by sending that letter I think that you let youre ex know that she can walk all over you. I am not trying to upset you, but think of it like this. Her knew boyfriend is a rebound. She met him shortly after you two broke up and has been dating him since. Do you want youre ex back or do you just want to be friends? If you want her back, its a very bad idea to stay in contact with her while she is talking/dating this new guy. You cant miss someone who is always around. By telling youre ex to call you whenever, she is only going to alleviate any guilt/regret that the relationship is over. By talking to youre ex you are only prolonging the inevitable, which is more hurt. Now, some may say the letter was sweet. And I agree it was, but from a realistic perspective it may not have been in youre best interest. Take it from a guy who knows, women like mystery.....for now this is the new guy. Women like challenge...for now this is the new guy. By always being around for her you are being predictable. You are not being mysterious. You are not being a challenge. You are not allowing youreself to heal the pain any quicker. I feel for you. Youre intentions are good. Youre emotions are very strong. Whatever you choose to do, be careful and think wisely. I wish you the best of luck in this painful journey.

Hey, You know, I really feel youre pain. I've been there before. Lets examine youre situation and find out what may be really going on. I am going to tear what you wrote up bit by bit and do my best to help you out. First, you said you are suffering from depression. Why are you allowing youreself to suffer? Are you a ragdoll? Of course not, you are human. If you havent done so, go get youreself some therapy. It works, trust me. See someone who is qualified, it may entail medication, but eventually you will get better. Usually when you are suffering from depression it is because something is missing from youre life. A therapist can help you overcome those issues. Besides that examine youre phsical health carefully. Do you have any sleep problems. I bet you didnt know, sleep apnea and other disorders can cause Depression. Are you watching youre diet. Eat healthy foods. Avoid drugs and alchol. Stimulants may help you to temporarily cope, but in the long run, it will just make you much worse. Do excercise? IF not, I suggest you do so. Excercise releases endorphins that will boost youre mood. You can do karate, jogging, weight training, anything, just do it. Those are just some things you can do to help ease youre pain. What about self confidence. You dont sound confident to me. Lack of confidence can cause depression. Hold youre head up high, any time youre head begins to drop, pick it back up, pull those shoulders back, you are just as good as everyone else. You also said that you try to be "nice" to people. Why? Are you a people pleaser. If you dont feel pleasant dont act it. You need to cure youre people pleasing issues. Its okay to be nice, but not at the expense of youre self worth. You are not a black sheep, you are a human in need of help. Youre family may be a big problem, and thats unfortunate, I advise you to get help if possible. I suggest you learn as much as you can. Youre not doing good in school? Get some tutoring then. Pick up books to help you improve youre school performance. Cut back on distracting things like television. How come no one likes you? Because you dont love youreself. How can you command respect if you dont respect and love youreself. Be the best you can possibly be. Quit playing the rating game. The only person you need to compare youreself to is youreself. You never been kissed by a girl. Well now is youre chance to learn more about the dating game and relationships. Pick up some books to learn relationships skills. Pick up some books on attracting women. By youreself some nice clothes. Learn some flirting techniques. Again, I have been in youre shoes before, so i can not only empathize but I can sympathize. Self love is the most important love of all. If you have problems communicating others, learn some good communication techniques. Friends are important. I suggest that you get involved in activities where there are people youre age with the same interests. If you like acting, take acting classes. If you are into volunteer work, volunteer. If you like boxing, go take boxing lessons. Learn how to make small talk. Reinvent youreself into the person you want to be. Stay away from depressing music. Believe in youreself. Try reading yourself positive affirmations every day. Make out a list of ten things you like about youreself and affirm them. Learn how to meditate. Meditation will teach you how to accept life for what it really is. God didnt forget about you. As a matter of fact, I think God has better plans for you that you dont see now. I thought God forgot about me at one time, But God didnt. Remember God wont do the work for you. You are on a journey, it may be painful at times, but I believe you can overcome this. Have faith in youreself. Have faith in God. You have friends on this website. You need to talk feel free to talk to me. Now what you must do is hold youre head up high. Pretend you are a mountain that cant be moved. Work on what is missing in youre life. Clean up youre act. Learn to love youreself and others will follow. Learn how to be a better stronger person. Everybody in this world including you deserves the best, once you believe this, it will happen. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you create the life of youre dreams becuase you deserve it!!!! We all carry positive power within, unleash that power, break through the social constraints held against you, and you will discover inner peace, I promise.

Hey, Usually when an ex-contacts you out of the blue after a while of no-contact, it is because they cant take the regret anymore and they miss you. If she called you once, she may very likely call you again. Youre job(whether you want her back or not) is to act cold toward her. If i'm correct, she broke up with you, you didnt break up with her. IF or should I say when she contacts you again, tell her you are busy. This will be a HUGE slap in the face to her. She will realize that she made a big mistake and that you dont need her anymore. Now if you want her back, being a challenge will have her running back to you. If you dont want her back, being a challenge and being cold to her will drive her nuts. Best wishes

I believe so. Shyness is basically the same thing as social anxiety. You need to learn to relax. You need to restructure youre negative thinking style. You need gradual exposure, and eventually you will overcome it or at least learn to cope with it. I tend to disagree with those who may say to shy people just do it. That is only part of the equation. Many shy people have "irrational" thinking. Sometimes the fear can be crippling. They may fear they may be laughed at. They may fear they may be ridiculed. Realistically the odds of something like that is slim to none. Once shy people can learn to relax, restructure their thinking style, and expose themselves to situations they fear, they can overcome shyness/social anxiety. Alot of guys I know are afraid of rejection when it comes to dating. Hope this helps

Hey, I agree with Mar, I would elaborate a little further though. I firmly believe that if you have to go to a prostitute for sex, you may have more serious problems to deal with. First and foremost, I feel that you need to make a pact with youreself to change. Change is not easy and it doesnt occur over night, but through change you will be able to reach new highs in youre life. You will one day make the connections that you want. My main suggestion to you is to go get help from a qualified therapist. I have a very strong feeling that youre issues in connecting with women may be related to something in youre past that you are overlooking. On the surface it may feel like shyness, but I believe its something deeper. Go through some talk-therapy to resolve those issues. This should help you to erase the need to go to a prostitute. Therapy will help you to tackle youre intamcy issues. I also suggest that you learn about relationships and intamacy through reading. I suggest you work on any communication issues. I agree with Mar, that women do pay attention to appearance, but they also pay attention to youre confidence levels. If youre not confident, you can forget it with women. I believe that you can improve, youre cry out for help proves that. Be courageous and go get some help. Be courageous and learn some relationships skills. Improve youre confidence. Have plenty of faith that you will change, because trust me you will need it. Eventually, the happier you become with youreself the happier others will be around you. YOu will naturally attract people toward you. I believe you can change, now you must believe in youreself. Go out there and tackle the world. Fight this battle and you will win. I wish you the best in youre journey. Create a great day my friend!!!!