materia_goddess

i dont know about you, but if i was in this situation id get her outta my life as soon as possible. it sounds like you really like her, but she sounds sour and im sure even if you did get together, her personality (as stinky as it sounds) would soon make you lose interest. you've got to get over her! try and avoid her. soon enough you will find someone else more worthy of your interest, she's just searching for attention. she wants you to waste your time drooling over her. you dont have to take this advice, im sure your REALLY infatuated with her at the moment. but the sooner you pass that, the better you will feel. there are always gonna be people in your life who wont like you, for no reason at all! sometimes you can try and resurrect things, but its usually best to just ignore them and go on with your life! trust me life will get better, once she's out of your mind AND life!

i can understand that you love this guy, but right now all i see is a boyfriend who isnt acting like one! he's not respecting you alright! and i think he knows it!!! im not certain of everything in this relationship, but he might be coasting over you, thinking he is the man, and as such, is leader of the house. he isnt treating you like you should be treated. if something upsets you, he should realise this and be dedicated enough and love you enough to change it! honey, everyone is a little insecure. its what makes us human. what you are worrying about is completely understandable, and giving this guy the heave-hoe will knock some sense into his ignorant nature! it is obvious this guy doesnt respect woman, as evident with this band you speak of, AND how he is treating you! you should get this guy seated, and make sure he knows YOUR in charge! talk to him, firmly! say exacally what needs to be said. say you want changes! say you want respect! say you want the exact same treatment you are giving him! babe, if he doesnt respect your needs, then dont respect his! lifes too great to waste on people like him! sorry if im getting a little carried away, but from how it sounds, this guy needs a HUGE wake up call! but dont go by my advice if you dont want to. i understand love is a powerful thing. but RESPECT is key, without this there can be no love! so knock some respect into this guy! goodluck, i'll be baracking for you!

sorry heb, i accidently got an "r" in there!

yeah some good ideas there herb! i think your doing a bang up job rick! those girls must be crazy to turn you over! although the success rate is unknown, asking for the girls number in that fashion is not a total waste of time, and is possible to succeed in! although, perhaps making them feel more comfortable with your presense will soften the blow when you finally ask. perhaps dropping hints that you will ask, will prepare them. maybe try and ask if they would like to hang out sometime instead of heading straight for the phone number. you never know, but some of them might be real interested in you, but the quick grab for their number could seem a bit "stalker" like, and might scare them off. if they're interested in the get together, perhaps offering her YOUR phone number might be as effective. well just try different methods. dont think about how you look, atleast your out there giving it a try! most people are too afraid to do what your attempting so kudos to you!! im sure lady luck will smile on you in the end! keep it up, your doing great!

yeah talking to her about this issue sounds like a tops idea! have you confronted her since then for a serious talk about this issue on its own? if not then i suggest to do that first. hm, im not sure if she had a thing for either of you. she might of, but good friends crave for the same trust, and attraction does not need to be involved.......so she might just hold you guys really high up, and might be a bit shocked the same wasnt returned to her. wait! im not saying your in the wrong completely. sure telling her would be nice. but even some of my closest friends dont know where i am 24/7. she might have just expected this from you two, and a little shot down when it didnt happen. its a bit weird that she's still tiffy about it though. a sorry should fix things right up (if meant ofcourse!) but she might be a little more sensitive than anticipated, so she might take more things to heart just let her know that you didnt forget about her, and you still want to be real close to her. that going out that time wasnt a big deal, and was serious. if you talk to her sincerely then she should appreciate it! just give it a shot! good luck!

oh no senna! im SO SO sorry! i cannot possible understand how your feeling right now! i also have a bestfriend, and have had thoughts about her dying before, which have made me go insane! i cant possible imagine what its like to go through for real! honey, i know life really does look bad right now. i wish that i could just say something to make it all go away! i know i have felt the same where im just looking for that quick fix and i'll be right again! the only thing i feel i can say is that things will get better. it cant possible stay this way forever. i know its gonna be really hard for you, and will be for a while, but you will recover in time. i feel that you dont want to face whats happening and by denying it or just forgetting, will ultimately make it disappear.......i wish you could do that to. the truth is coming to terms with it now will make it alot easier for you to face later on. one time when your all alone, just observe everything, come to terms with it, and if you can try and accept that this is the way things will have to be. all of it IS happening for a reason. what reason, i do not know, but god always has a plan babe just hang in there ok! dont give up on yourself or those around you. we are all here for you, praying for you to feel better. if you need more help, or just want to talk you can pm me or just message on the board. please take care!! you are not alone in this!

no no shyguy you got it! having model looks doesnt mean crap anyways. cute is looking good and looking fun! cute is where you wanna be. but if handsome's what your getting (to others) then by no means think your less fortunate......you'd be crazy! cute is tops! and for all you guys who ARN'T getting either........well you SHOULD be!!!!!

hahaha oh dear......i just read the previous posts, and i think i may have taken the question a bit too far! was this just on relationships? man do i feel silly lol

oooo haha i was waiting for this question, and i knew it would come up sooner or later. although we're all human, we are so different, and that even shows on this forum. id love to think there is equality and justice between the sexes, but there are always those instances where the fine line becomes much bigger. i dont think its the male populations fault, but how society has built and what it has built on. as we all know woman have had it tough.....real tough. even now differences show. things such as rape, sexual abuse, harassment, and racism are still affecting many woman, and in some cases are becoming more ramped. ofcourse men are also effected by these issues but not to the same extent. haha i must say i have had my share of anger towards the opposite sex. for instance i will be walking home from somewhere and about 5 cars will drive past and beep and whistle and stare. some girls may like this but it makes me feel incrediably uncomfortable. also things like if im walking by myself and a group of boys are ahead, my heart instantly stops, expecting anything to happen (usually the worst.......) then i think to myself "please dear god dont let me get raped.......this wouldnt happen if i was a guy!!!" and so on. lol well there are some loosers out there, but not all guys are like that. and girls arnt perfect either. (any guys been through a similar experience? lol id be surprised) i think its going to be a very tough struggle getting woman to the equal length of men, but we have come SO far, and we should all be very proud of our sex (be it woman OR man!). i had a similar discussion with my brother on the same topic. his views are that woman will never "truly" be equal because it is the way of creation. men are built different to woman to emphasis this difference in stature. stereotypically we have things like male and female physical strength (and in some cases mental strength, where woman are usually more in tune with their emotions), and the roles of woman in history as being involved only in the domestic environment. this prejudice is even evidenced in things such as fairy tales (ie the damsel in destress and the gallant knight) and even in movies (not many woman heroines out there!) not meaning to make this post so long, as im just writing ideas as they come. sorry if i sound terribly one sided but most of my friends are HUGE feminists. im not one myself, i dont like to think in that fashion, but they always do things to push the involvement of females, for example instead of saying checking their email, they'll say female and so on. ok ok im ending this now. i think ive made my point. actually even im not sure what my point is so i have no way to conclude this. perhaps i'll just leave it by saying no we're not equal, but we're getting there......i hope! ps. this is a real good post.....im glad i got to vent that to someone! im interested in what others have to say!

haha no problem, any time you need advice we'll be here! as for friends, we already ARE friends........distant friends, but friends none the less! good to hear you are calm, its the best way to be!

tough tough question well it could really depend with each person. sometimes they can mean the exact same thing. if i had to differentiate, i would say handsome means facial beauty, like a male model, little or no imperfections.......cute still refers to good looks in a more innocent light.......close to words like adorable, or puppy like. if you have been described as such, i would take it as you have a very appealing face, but one not lacking personality. but be cautious, some who say this (and i speak broadly) may only be doing so to humour or please the person. but you should be very pleased with the looks given to you, cute should be taken as a very good compliment. ~remember looks arnt the most important though~

i agree this place ROCKS! i love the feeling of helping people, even if i dont know them. its places like this that keep society in order, and im SO proud to be apart of it! haha that drink sounds like a super idea! i'll take you up on it!!!! as for you and this girl, sounds like your pretty set up! well luckily enough you didnt have to do anything and she just jumped straight in! what happens from now is ALL up to you. sounds like she likes you so dont forget to consider her feelings whatever you choose. if your having fun with this close contact then by all means continue, however, too much contact too early can lead to disinterest later on. haha as for how you've been described id say you are very lucky! ofcourse looks are not first on the list, and only matter in first impressions, everything past that is personality, so if you've got one then your set! so have fun with this relationship but be careful with her heart. keep us updated! ~good on you! have fun~

wow, very insightful. id comment, but im still trying to wrap my mind around it. did you think of it all by yourself? i think its terrific and excellent use of language. unique style and choice of topic. if she has any sense she'll appreciate every individual line with careful consideration. hehe keep us up to date with what happens with this girl ok! ~best of luck to you~

no one said that letting her know you like her wont be embarrassing. you cant like someone and expect her to know this by you doing nothing. you have to take a chance if you want to get what you want. eye contact isnt embarrassing at all! its a very flattering way to let her know your interested. a smile also works a treat. im not going to repeat my last message. i said everything in that. nothing worth fighting for in this life is easy! being shy i understand you. you dont want to go for the convosation first up. but not doing anything will get you nowhere! drop hints. anything! if you ignore her and dont look at her, she will not think twice about you and end up with someone who isnt afraid to make the effort. trust me. eye contact isnt the only way. but its either that or confrontation. make your choice. you dont have to be afraid. making an effort will reward you in the long run. if she responds to your hints then your in! but you must drop hints! just give it a try! if she isnt interested then move on. dont be embarrassed. but you must do something, or she will never know how you feel.

oh vicious, im so so sorry about this. coping with something so full on at such an age is SO not fair. i understand you didnt have the best relationship with your father, and that you might feel guilty about how you left things. remember it was NOT your fault. dont regret anything! although it seems like he didnt appreciate you, im sure he was thinking about you. he might not have shown it, but you are his son, and you would have been on his mind more than you think. sometimes people get caught up in their own lives and they forget whats really important and miss the bigger picture. im certain your father would of loved you. his life may of gotten in the way of showing this to you but im sure it was there. hang in there. i know its a rough time for you, but i believe you can get through this. if you need someone to talk to im always here ~please look after yourself. we're all thinnking of you~

im very sorry to hear about your boyfriends situation. indeed, being alone when sad or depressed is not the way for everyone, but sometimes even those who need people also need time to themselve. time to think. time to make choices and so on. he has alot on his plate right now, and is probably trying to accept some of these things. the best thing you can do at the moment is give him the space he requires, but also let him know you are there! tell him you will give him as much time as he needs, and that if he ever needs you, you will be there. just letting him know this will be enough. i know you are worried, but this is something he must resolve alone, before turning to you. he will be ok, trust me. ~be patient. time heals all wounds~

prince dont give up! it certainly is worth fighting for. im so happy to see that you both care for eachother, which is what i gather from the messages. this is a confusing time, and uncertainty is in the air. but this is completely normal! i may not have direct experience, but i have friends who go through the same thing. i can say without a doubt that she cares for you deeply. so much that she's willing to hold back her desires because of the situation and wait until you are ready. relationships are indeed rollercoasters, and going up has to always lead in going down. but the beauty of it is, that down in turn leads to up. it seems unfair that times like this have to happen. but trust in her, your own feelings and the relationship and you will get through. you will be grateful that you held on it in the end ~remember; the sweet aint as sweet without the sour~

firstly there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. everyones a bit shy now and then. some of us are always shy. but dont let this hold you back from what you want. Prince has the right idea. body language is the best thing to use, especially when afriad to approach her verbally. let her know that you like her by dropping subtle hints like eye contact and smiles. after a while she should get the idea. if she reacts and returns these then id say to go for it. start casual with a "hi how are you...ive seen you around bla bla bla" then you can go forward with suggesting a get together. dont try too hard being someone your not. being yourself is your best asset. she should appreciate this. being shy might be an obstacle, but facing your fears leads to sucess. try it and see. ~be yourself, and dont hold back~

hmm that is weird. my guess would be that he's confused about his feelings. perhaps afraid to show his true ones, or afraid to lose you. but i still remain strong to my point. his uncertainty and insercurity is affecting you and will cause you unecessary heartache. telling you he loves you to keep you, then later denying that love and still trying to keep you in very unfair. dont stand for that kind of treatment. confront him and tell him straight that you love him, and that if he cant return these feelings then you will find someone else who will. make him aware of what you want. you cant tag along with him because he is unsure, and wait for the time when he is sure. after waiting this time, he still might not feel the same. you deserve better.

dude im 17 and i havent even been in contact with boys. going to an all girls school will do that to you. honestly i dont mind though. alot of people older than both you and me havent had a relationship yet. its not wrong to wait. seriously, you shouldn't go out of your way to get a boy, unless its necessary and for the right reason. 15 is still very young, and heaps of time to find the right guy. it will happen naturally, so dont try and rush things. but boys shouldnt be the only aim in your life. sure they may be fun (from what i hear) but my lifes a blast and i dont need boys for it to be. friends can also be your ticket to happiness. but if your really interested in getting a boyfriend, then be yourself and it will happen. rushing into things like this without careful consideration to the person you will give your heart to will always end in disappointment and heartbreak. look around this forum. 90% of posts are about heartbreaks. just be careful and cautious. and ofcourse have fun! ~best of luck to you~

sorry but im going to have to agree with mar if after 3 years he is not willing to express the feelings you need, and have given to him, then its not a true relationship. a true relationship always involves full co operation from both parties, and he's not keeping his end of the bargain. i understand that this is a hard thing to do, and in the end it is all your own choice, and we are nothing but opinions and advice. however, you should always consider your own heart and how its being treated. from what i gather, he's not respecting your heart properly. he's unwilling to give his love to you, but he wants you to stay. asking you to do this is selfish, and will hold you back from what you truly deserve. my advice is to find someone who feels for you the way you feel for them and is true enough to show it. not meaning to be cliche' and stealing quotes from movies but 'the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in RETURN' ~take care and follow your heart~

thankyou for your replies. they really do help! being shy is the pits. especially when you know its not the real you. its a shame you cant just wear a sign saying this so everyone knows. it was all a bit sudden for me before, but im ok now. i guess in time i might beable to change it. but for now im just gonna grin and bear it! ~thanks again!~

hey there razer. im sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend. i dont really have any experience in this field, but i do know what it feels like to be so down, that the crack in the wall starts looking like a nice place to be. this girl obviously doesnt understand your worth, and her weird behaviour is proof of this. i know you want her back, and that although you hear it a million times that there are others out there, you feel she's REALLY your one and only. it will take time, but you will heal. she might come back, and she might not. you've just got to remember everything happens for a reason. perhaps this is a sign that something better awaits around the corner. just dont give up, and dont do anything extreme. everything works out for the best..........just hang in there! *hugs* ~if you ever need someone to talk to you can always pm me~

hey there! sounds like you like this girl. and from what you gather she likes you to? well if it seems like she's avoiding you because she's shy, then its up to you to make the first move. if she bolting out of class before you get to turn your head, then try catching her out of class......try approaching her without her knowing....i dont mean sneaking up and scaring her to death, but just enough so she cant escape. its not too late for anything! this all sounds very cute, and im sure once you go up to her and plea your case, then she'll mellow. she's probably worried that you'll find out how she feels, and you wont feel the same. but seing as you do the GO FOR IT!!!!!! ~best of luck to you~

woah, dont meaning to be a huge hypocrite, but a few minutes ago my brother brough a few of his friends around by surprise, and i freaked out!!! long story short (not very short, but long story's longer), i feel i have a great personality, i love to be funny. but for this to happen i need to feel comfortable with the person first. my brother, ever since he started law, has made some real high class friends who are millionaires and have very high standards. my brother is the outlier, who does not have this life style, but he gets on with them great. i dont have the best self esteem, and i have a problem believing in myself (even though i feel, and tell people, this is key!).......im very shy at first with people, although its NOT me! once yu know me im loud and out going. well anyway, before i said i would meet his friends for the first time i wanted to lose weight, make sure i looked my best, and gained confidence to be who i really was. well this house call freaked me out big time. and surprise surprise it ended just as i thought it would. they probably think im an idiot. as i mentioned they have high standards and from what i hear, they go by looks alot. well it was the typical shy convosation. i walk out in my pink pj's .....all figity and nervous, say hi with this REAL shy grin on my face, shake hands, smile smile smile, and back away into my room. the problems not exacally this, but the whole time i was angry with myself for not being me. i wish i had confidence...........i really wanted to make a good first impression, but i screwed up big time. DAMN!! im also VERY self-conscious........the whole time i could see myself, being and looking like an idiot. i also worry about my looks and weight. ive been working real hard lately to get it off, coz im desperate to be slim. im assured that im not fat, but i cant help but look at other girls on the street, then look at me and my self esteem drops 20 points. i know its a hard one to solve.......how can you tell someone how to be themselves.......its up to me i know, but why couldnt it just be easy! i mean its who i am isnt it!!!