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numbhead

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Everything posted by numbhead

  1. numbhead
    I dont know what to say,,, ive been ok all day until tonight when ive just broken down, ive tried over the last 3 months to get through all this and think positively and keep busy. i just cant stop feeling sorry for my self and feeling hopeless, directionless. i know u guys have heard it all before a million times on this site but i feel like ive got absolutely nothing. i just cant see a future, i cant see any point in anything. and im beating myself up even more because im feeling like this. upuntil today for the last month of so ive managed to overcome the negatiove thoughts and all the mistakes ive made. i managed to stop phyco analysing myself and my ex.... but ive come to a conclusion that im the biggest * * * * * in the world.... my ex was great and im still dying to touch her and hear her voice,,, i dont know why im feeling this bad right now but i guess it might be because im at a point where im making big decisions about my career etc... i would never really talk to my ex about the future... i dont know why i judt didnt like to... it scared me because i was uncertain of my career and her career, and the fact that that it would be hard to make it all work! i dont know what to say,,, im desperate i just feel hopeless and i feel like a big girls blouse because im like this.... i just miss her.. i know it would have never worked out but i miss her more than ever and i just dont know what to do... sorry for beeing so depressing.. breakdown almost over (i hope)
  2. numbhead
    ..... and ill just say.... deep deep down if i really think about it,,, i dont know if im pyschic,, i had a feeling that i wouldnt get married to her etc... its weird... i dont know if you had the same feelings!!?
  3. numbhead
    mcnani, im in the same situation as you, apart from wanting to be friends,,, i could never do that. it would hurt too much seeing her with somone else.... i hate her for doing what she has done, but i love her at the same time. its been 3 months for me,, and i just feel pure jealousy! letting go is a thing i can only dream of! i find myself mostly being over her. but at numerous points in the day and night i remember how great she is. and i realise that i have lost her forever... REGRET is the big problem,,, if we could have done things differently everything would be fine now!! that i think is what the big problem is here! i know that it as mostly my doing (as my life revolved around hers) i stopped loving myself and she fell out of love with me for this reason.. and the fact that she was/is away at uni! i keep trying to see her bad points,,, the only one she had was being abit selfish... and hating being on her own,,, she made herself stop loving me! i think in order to move on we need to get our priorities and goals in order.... but i still dont know how this will help eliminate the jealousy i have!
  4. numbhead
    u need to get your priorities sorted,,, as i do too take a chill pill,,, think about what you want and dont stress... things fall into place,, when i was in my final yr at uni i put loads of ressure onmy self..not knowing what i really wanted to do afterwards.. i fraduated top of my class.. but after 1 1/2 yrs im just trying to make big decisions now.. mostly because ive recently been dumped i guess...
  5. numbhead
    gd point MS! i overlooked that i guess...before i did this i got checked out and we were very careful....! you have definitely got to know your partner before really doing anything sexual..... theres lots of filthy pple out there and you cant ever be too careful!
  6. numbhead
    ermm, yes and no! he might have "cumed" without realising,, that can happen sometimes......usually it doesnt but it can i hate using condoms and have never had this problem,,,,, but my gf was on the pill so i didnt need to worry.. so the answer is contraception... unless u want to make babies!
  7. numbhead
    watch urself parsley! im still waiting for my ex to have some justice brought herway,, i know shes a great person with a great future etc... but i would love it for her to have rough justice... or for her life not to work out as rosie as i know it will!! about ur sudden change of mood....., be careful ive got a feeling it wont last forever... i too keep feeling like this every so often,, then the sh*t kicks in again and i feel really bad.... but the upside is,,,, im beginin to learn that every time this happens,,, i feel less crap every time!! and i feel like ive grown up in the past 2 months and im beginin to find myself for the first time.... i spent 2 1/2 yrs hidding from myself and living for my ex.... its been a massive shock being on my own again.....i just hope i can mke things work.... i dont know about you but ive got to completely rethink my life .... gping to the gym is helping my clear cobwebs!!
  8. numbhead
    great bit of advice joewho, i will use it too!
  9. numbhead
  10. numbhead
    ye i think the reason im talkin about looks is because thats all i really have of her to remined me of.... sounds stupid i know but after 2 1/2 months im beginning to forget her personality.. and the photographs are all i have,,, which i wont be lookin at again any time soon!! thats what makes it harder because she is a great girl,,,, but chose to throw me away, thats the ego knocking problem here!
  11. numbhead
    ye ive got some right shocking photoes of my ex,,, i like to look at them... but then i realise she is actually really attractive,,, doesnt help when my friends remined me about how gd looking she is... "batting above your average" is the term we use where i live! i have an inverted ego,,, trying to pop it bk out as we spk! not only do u lose a woman but your best ever friend at the same time..and on top of losing 2 pple, you have to deal with all the ifs, buts, hows and whys
  12. numbhead
    you cant handle it,,,, i cant handle it... the thought rips me insides out,,, it is normal.... when you have been with someone you subconsciously own them... you still feel attached to her as i do with my ex....im not sure how we are going to get these feelings to go away but i feel better knowing that im not the only person whos feeling like this... its a kick in the balls.. your imagination takes over.... this wk is going to be a sh*t, i dont know what my ex is upto or who shes with etc... this is gd and bad at the same time..... at least that guy wasnt sat right nxt to her then you would feel sh*t! take it day by day,, it got too much for me today so i decided to get rid of her stuff and photoes out of my phone! i feel relieved somehow..im sure it will wear off lol you can do better than her,, i bet she wasnt all that perfect so stop thinking she is! ive got the same problem!
  13. numbhead
    nicely put longhaircats,,,, the problem with me is tht ive never been any gd at making friends!! weve got to stop thinking about the past,,,ive spend all wk end dwelling over it all.... its just mde me feel worse... the hardest thing is to stop being negative .. thats what ive fornd anyway
  14. numbhead
    i feel the same about my ex,, cant get my head around how shes just brushed me off after 2 1/2 yrs like i mean and meant nothing to her! she was the one who had insecurities about me all the time (for no reason at all! ive got to add) i wrote her a letter,,, sent her flowers but she doesnt even have the decency to reply to me in any way! the best way is the only way and that is... NC god i want to make her feel pain..... but i dont at the same time.... u could always send a letter bomb... ive heard that theyr popular at the moment! lol
  15. numbhead
    same here, i used to laugh (kind of) at friends and family who got overly emotional over relationships past adn present... like get over it you wuss... what s the big issue... youre pathetic... now i can see the light! i see how painful it is... when your soulmate has left you,, the person who completes you as a human being... the person who gave you reason to be alive just ups and goes... everything has to be re-evaluated this takes time and its obvious it aint gonna be easy and jealousy will kick in.... you know... i would love to believe that there is destiny and things happen for a reason and we have all got a plan.... it would give me some comfort!
  16. numbhead
    i agree with what everyones said here! you are going through the same demoralising problems as me... how the can your ex just move on like that! when someone dumps someone, they have been probably thinkin about it for a long while (even if you didn't know about it) thereforeeee the dumper has been almost grieving and preparing themselves for a while. this is how they can move on so quickly.. bc they have made the big decision to blow u off they can accept that its over..(the best thing is the fact that they have to live with this possible regret of it for the rest of their lives) the only way is to think that they are dead!... im going crazy thinking about my ex.. i need to stop thinking about her,, its so easy to think about how great their lives are now they have got rid of you,,, this may not be true.. ok they have a different life but it may not be tht much better! i have mde a pact not to check up on my ex... if i found anything about her it would kill me to the core.. i suggest u do the same!
  17. numbhead
    sodone,, i know .. and i think she has made the right decision.. thats why it's even harder to take... i want her to be happy i really do but i just cant past the thought of her with another man,,,, living herlife without me... ive tried but i just cant! the sooner i can accept this, the sooner i can move on... but i just can't accept it! i dont kno if its male pride or just me!
  18. numbhead
    to be honest mate,, theres no chance... ive been waiting for the same outcome since end of november!! wondering sword--And to wonder what her life will be like without you, or whether she could ever possibly find somebody as good as you is no more your concern. She is out of your life and thereforeeee beyond your concerns. this is the hardest thing to stop thinking about.... i cant stop thinking about her leaving me behind (so to speak).... i really miss her and fantasize about what she is doing ... then get a blunt blow in the heart when i realise she may be with someone else... .. and that girl who not so long ago said she would love me forever and spend the rest of her life with me... was lying and is moving on with her life with no regard for me whatso ever..... i would have died for her..... now im just left feeling like a directionless, weak, pathetic jealous ex! life really does suck.. and herlife couldn't be much better.. after 3 months nrly... the pain is still there... im just sick of showing it!
  19. numbhead
    get urself in there, you will look silly if you dont go,, be strong and walk up to her and wish her gd luck if the situation comes! it will be the last things she will expect!! and will probably intimidate her abit too!
  20. numbhead
    hopelessxnox i know exxctly what you mean, my ex and me are the same,,, she is everything i am not.. chalk and cheese.. its been almost 3 months for me and it kills me although i dont see her because she is in another city,, i cant get her out of my head.. she said outright that shes moved on,,, my mind plays games and works overtime thinking about who shes with etc.... i honestly think i will not be able to get anything better than her.... i am seriously jealous of her because i know she will be very successful in her career etc and i wont be a part of it,,, i feel like she thinks and knows that she can do better.... lol right now i think she can.. she devoted herself to me only to drop me when she realised that she wouldnt compromise.. she is selfish,, but i just (like you) cant get her out of my mind... so what are we going to do....? we cant sit back and let these * * * * *es steal our hearts and move on .... up the ladder (so to speak) i feel hopeless right now like you,,, i cant even hate her,,, thats how nice she is!! lol
  21. numbhead
    lol,, youre probably right orlander! i thought you were going to tell me that life will get worse then !! thanks for not telling me that,,, but im sure it can lol
  22. numbhead
    this forum is the only thing thats keeping sort of sane! or not as the case maybe! lol
  23. numbhead
    hi, im thinkin about counselling. its been nrly 3 months now,,, i miss her like nothing ive experienced in my whole life! i am literally broken!,,, and shes moved on... this fact alone is stopping me from sleeping altogether! i feel abit silly though asking for help,, but ive got loads of issues i guess.. i dont think i can sort it out on my own just to top things off... i ran over and killed a cat yesterday and got a speeding ticket this morning through the post lol can life get any worse!
  24. numbhead
    afew months ago my g/f left me, i was putting my ife on hold for her until she finished uni! i am at a point now where i need to sort my career out,, ive never been real gd at making decisions and that is what i need to do now! i graduated the other yr and it is really hard to get a gd job in my line of career choice... ive been trying,, the other option ive got is to go into teaching! i dont know how to make a decision,, i think its because ive got too many options! how do people make real big life changing decisions!!,, im scared to make the wrong one,,, i just want to know how others make a decision and are happy.... im scared of being left behind and regretting what decisions i do make... this has been made worse by my g/f dumping me!
  25. numbhead
    thts a good angle to look at it from elithepi! it might make it easier to bare! thanks mate, i spose when you're not over someone it's easy to want to have these feelings, ive got to not want these feelings! that b*tch.... ye go on forget about me thts right,,, hope you're having the time of your life you f****n b*tch!
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