numbhead

YE, ive been trying to accept it for about a month but i just cant god it makes me physically sick...unbearable,,, i reall dont know how to come to terms with it,,,, i cant even hate her .. i guess theres no real answer is there!

I cant get over thinking about my ex with someone else! When she left me I don't think she was seeing anybody behind my back but its been nearly 3 months, and by now she would have almost definitely found someone else!, or shes been sleeping around- enjoying her freedom! I cant stop thinking about her with someone else! its killing me! i know it's non of my business now but I cant get over it! Any ideas about how to stop it or make it easier on myself!

sorry ive put this on the wrong forum page!!!

the other thing that i cant stop doing is imagining what she is up to! i dont even know for certain if she has someone else, but i spose i know she has someone else by her actions!! its killing me, absolutely tearing me up,,, how she has just brushed me aside and got on with her life... how can she do this? doesnt she think about me,,,, doesnt she regret leaving me or is she too wrapped up in her new life that she just doesnt care anymore? i just dont get it!

ive been with this girl for 2 1/2 yrs, my first love and i was hers too, we met just before i went into my final yr at university.. the same time she was starti uni it was great - like a movie, we were both swept off our feet! although we were at different universities over 100 miles away, we regularly met up with each other, but because i was in my final yr, she mostly came to mine, it was great to have her with me.. she was like a breath of fresh air.. amongst the stress of the workload! we had so much fun and gd times, then i graduated,,,, i was unsure what to do and to be honest scared of losing her... so i put my life on hold! this i think was the turning point! she was always so supportive-- saying "i dont care what you do for a career i will always love you! i dont care what you look like i will always love you!" this made me complacent!,,, didn't go to gym anymore,,,and i must have put career ambitions on the bk burner! basically i stopped living my life, because i knew that i would lose her if i made career choices, i my line of work is quite specialised! .... so we carried on things were ok... i lived for the wk ends where i would go down to her uni and meet her.. after living at home and working during the wk... i did this for a gd 12 months,,, come to think of it it was almost exactly 12 months!! we were doing great... but then i guess we began to drift apart... i remember saying to her tht we can get thru this,,, so we carried on... the physical side of things sort of dried up (so to speak) and we had petty arguments, the nail in the coffin was her going to see a physchic! they said alot of stuff but what my g/f only told me a fraction of what they said... "you will leave your current b/f soon.... have kids and get married in your 30s, be a teacher and live in italy!" to make things worse her friends at uni were breaking up with thier b/fs! she hated being alone and i was unable to be there during the wk! she broke up with me end of nov 06 saying that she will always be there for me and i deserve someone who will love me as much as i love her! i thought it was the stress of her final yr at uni and that fact that her grandad was ill! she was always the one who was insecure and who always told me that she loved me more than i loved her! 4 days before she dumped me she even asked me "when are we going to get married?" complete u turn! since then i had no contact,,, it kills me... a friend of mine txt her saying that i needed help coming to terms with the breakup... she replied saying " i have moved on with my life now im sure he will too, and i dont want to contact him" i sent her a letter and flowers on xmas eve.. aand she didnt even have the decency to reply to me either way!! im left torturing myself about her,, i am beginning to forget all her bad points how can i get thru this and move on? any help would be great! thanks for reading this.

thanks for your comments, you are all right.... im just sick of it all... its the human condition.... its difficult to stop loving someone and to be honest i dont want to... not yet anyway.. my heads saying she gone but my heart is the opposite.. im just sick of feeling this way but i just cant get her out of my head and im sick of thinking the same god dam things.... i need to stop thinking about her and just think about me and confront my fears head on like a real man for gods sake! take care everyone and i really appreciate the replies

I'm going through a transition in may life from student to having to work for a living ,, but i'm not sure fully what i want to do... this is one of the reasons why she dumped me... i want to get over her but she used to reassure me and stand by me... now shes gone and it kills... all my plans and hopes have gone... when ever i get stressed she used to comfort me but now im all alone,, i just want to talk and cuddle her... im pathetic... its been nrly 3 months... i need her i miss her i want to touch and smell her,,, but i could be dead for all she cares.. i just cant move on and im sick of it and feeling like a pathetic failure.. no wonder she left! ive lost my best friend i dont know how to overcome it

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT I definitely lost my identity, and Ive recently realised that this is without doubt the reason that she dumped me... its so frustrating because we cannot get them bk now.. the line has been crossed... got to move on.. lol easier said than done alli need to do now is find my identity.. cos i think shes stole it!! after 2 yrs with her i dont know what i want anymore... its gonna take time to find myself i know that for sure! gd luck and i wish your ex all the bad luck in the world (hope it makes you feel better lol)

YEH MATE, she lost all respect for me in the end. thats a hard pill to swallow! my life revolved around her, i was putting my life on hold for her,, cos she is still at university! im gonna start reading into the phychology of all this rubbish,,and try and learn from it all so it never happens again.... my ex is 20 and im 25, they say tht women of a certain age do this type of thing.. i think deep down a saw it coming,, but that doesn make it any easier, especially when they start playing with ur head by what say say to you... i think i know why she said what she did tho! she was trying to affirm her feelings towards me.... when someone makes a decision they may "to and throw" before they decide... i need to stop thinking about where she is and what she is doing,, its killing me i try to think up really elaborat revenge schemes to get bk at her without her knowing and thinkin i am so low and pathetic.. but come up with nothing lol and the worse thing is that i cant see me ever getting over her....

LOL youre in the same place i am, shes moved on...mine said to me 4 days before she dumped me "when r we going to get married.... dont ever leave me... etc" and there she goes.... how can she just cold heartedly drop me and move on after over 2 yrs.. its been just over 2 months now for me, and shes has completely blocked me from her life... txt a friend of mine the other wk that she has moved on with her life now, and i should do the same and she doesnt want to contact me" i cant stop thinking about things too,,, and the dreams are really getting up my nose! the worst thing im going through is the fact that i start thinking about her,,, being so unaffected by the whole situation... like i was just a be wieght on her shoulders.. now she is free.. i feel like she needs to feel the pain that im going thru but at the ame time i still care for her.... if only she would come to her senses,,, but i know that isnt going to happen the gym works for me! but its those times when nothing will help like on a night and at the wk ends... my mind just goes in overdrive.. its torture! i wish that i was bad to her, then i might be able to understand why things are the way they are!