This is Horrible

i am the shyest person in the world. last night when i was out 3 different girls were checking me out very hard and i still didnt go up to them LOL. i just freeze up. they wound up coming over and chatting with me, so it worked out, but i can sure use some tips on not being so nervous about conversation.

trust your gut and not your heart. when you trust your heart ou do not always do the right thing, although at that particular time it may seem right.

i have come a long way in a little less than three months. i went from not being able to function the first few weeks to now, where i am 40 pounds lighter because i am running 8 miles a day. i am eating better because there are no more big dinner dates. i am working on all of the things i need to work on to make me a better person. my character defects are still there, but i work on those daily too. i am getting my confidence and self esteem back but i am also realizing that i do not need to have a girlfriend to lead a fullfilling life. i am not going to sit here and say that the relationship i was in ended with me having no fault. thats not true at all....i was plenty at fault, but i can now look back with a clear mind and see what my part was in ending of the relationship and whenever the next relationship comes along i will be sure not to repeat my mistakes. i think that is why the dumpee can potentially heal more, but there is a course of action that must be taken in order for the dumpee to benefit from a breakup. sitting around feeling sorry for yourself after being dumped will get you no where. if the dumpee takes the right course of action and doesnt look back i think they will heal more because the fate of the relationship ended in the dumpers hands and theyll always wind up with the "what if i didnt do that" question.

just continue NC one day at a time. dont worry about tomorrow, next week, a month from now, 6 months from now, a year from now etc... just worry about not contacting her in this 24 hour period, and do the same everyday. you'll be surprised how you feel after a while.

i look down on girls sleeping around a lot, but i used to sleep with a lot of random girls with no strings attached. i do not do it anymore, but it is still a bit of a double standard.

i do not check her myspace, friendster, facebook or webshots. seeing her in pics, happy in her new life without me will set me back in my recovery. with that said, i found this site after my breakup and it has helped wonders. so, in conclusion, the effect the internet has on breakups is a two-way street IMHO.

Orlander- I have a feeling of not wanting to be friends, rather i want absolutely nothing to do with her. i do not want to speak with her, nor be her "friend" in the future. what does that mean? thanks. it has been 2 months since she ended our 19 month relationship.

Sam- Keep your head up. the beginning is the worst it is so agonozing its not even fair for someone to have to go through it. It will get better. I promise it will get better. I was in the same seat as you two months ago. I thought I would never feel better and that I had just lost the greatest person in the world, but, in time, you will begin to get your life back and be happy. we are here for you. put your thoughts down here. there are many good people here who have gone through and are going through the same thing you are. God Bless.

Best. Post. Ever.

because i like the Yankees too. and the Yankees have a lot more championships than the red sux

it is good to hear and thanks for the reply. i am finding it easier to get back to the things i was doing pre breakup, like gym, job being with friends and all that other stuff. everyone here is right...you feel better in time. i am far from 100%, but definitely better from 9 weeks ago. i only hope that it keeps improving.

Hello everyone. I was dumped 9 weeks ago. I had a really rough few days last week, I was very emotional and had trouble concentrating on things…it was a little like the beginning of the break up, the feeling wasnt as strong though. The last few days, however, I have really been at ease with myself. I still think about her, but I am not beating myself up as much over what I could have done different and what could have been. I do not know what I am doing differently, but I am feeling better. Is this a sign that I am getting better? Sorry if this is a dumb question, but this is the first time i really am going through a break up. Thank you for replies.

my ex was awful to me too and i, too, still care, but after the way she was to me last week when we spoke, i am now thinking with my head and not my heart from this point on. i dont care how secure in my life i am in the future, i want no part of her in my life. i know i sound resentful but that is the way i feel. seriously, why would you want someone in your life who made you feel so awful for so long? common sense tells me there is no reason, and for me, it s time to start using some common sense.

i hope it gets better. my ex broke up 2 months ago, and although i am really far from over this....some of the days lately have been so agonozing, it has gotten better in that time. first 2 weeks i couldnt eat anything, couldnt sleep, couldnt drive my car and couldnt go to work because i was crying and upset the whole time. at this point i am back at work. i am eating a lot, sleeping still is not that great (but i never slept well) and i still cry about it, but only once in a while now, rather than crying for the whole day at the beginning. Strictly4-- i cant emphasize how important it is to maintain NC. i know it is hard, especially in the beginning, but you have to buckle down and do it. i have seen this analogy on here before...it is like an alcoholic trying to stop drinking- they cant even have a sip of alcohol or it all goes to crap....well your ex is alcohol to you. you must eliminate all contact from your life. i broke NC last week and she was mean to me when we started talking and it set me back a lot. maybe that is the reminder i needed that contacting her will just set me back, because now i am going total no contact- no myspace, blocked her on AIM, no facebook. i must totally remove her from my life totally. and it still sucks so much for me now, but i think when all the dust settles that i will be a better person from this, but i have to work for it. i know that things wont change if i sit on my butt and feel sorry for myself. i know it is important to go to the gym, keep busy, do a good job at work.....if it is bothering me so much and i want to contact her, i write her an email, but i dont send it to her- i just send it to myself. hang in there and you will be okay. i know it does not seem like it now, but the fog will be lifted and you will get back into the swing of things.

being friends with my ex is not an option. not now, and not ever. when i am healed from this disaster why would i want to be friends with someone who put me through hell? i do not think i will ever contact her again. if we do run into eachother somewhere i will say hello and go about my business. i just dont see the point in being friends with someone who put you through so much heartache. to me there is no point.