onewithbooks

Ok if this were me, I would back away now. The girl is married. While you all can totally be friends, being just friends when there is a mutual attraction is hard. She could be in a situation where maybe she is bi curious, and that is fine, but it could get real sticky real quick If I may, how was she being flirty? Knowing that could help me out lots! Take care!

Its just a thought, but maybe instead of callig those friends you havent talked to in ages, send them a card. Not just a call that can be awkward or even an e-mail, just a real, snail-mail card that lets them know you are thinking of them. I always love to get cards, and it makes me feel special to know that someone went to all that trouble just for me. Plus you will feel good after you do it. Take care!

Just breathe. Take everything one second at a time, and remember what is going good in your life right now. You are taking charge of your destiny, and those decisions dont happpen overnight. I am glad you are talking to a therapist. Sometimes that is just the thing that a person needs in getting over the hurdles in life. Look back at the past few months, look at all you have been through. Now look at where you are, here, in this moment today. Do you see what you have overcome? Loads of stuff. Going to the gym will be no sweat. (no pun intended). So what if you run into him, you shouldnt limit your world just because of him. You arent going crazy. It just feels that way. I went through a lot of the same stuff when my ex and I called it quits. It was hard to be sure, and I am still on the road to recovery. Somedays it was all I could do just to get out of bed and breathe and try to hear what people were saying to me. The key for me was just to breathe and take it one step at a time. I am glad to see you are maintaining a healthy exercise routtine, and I hope you are eating well. Doing both those things will help to reduce your anxiety. I learned that one from experience. Take care and my fingers are crossed for you!

Congrats!!! My fingers are crossed for you. Good Luck and keep us posted!!! L~

Ok I was thinking about this this morning and I was curious to what you all do/think. Men do you look to see if a woman is wearing a ring on her ring finger on her left hand? Women do you look to see if the man is wearing a ring on his finger on his left hand? In a world where lots of times even married couples dont wear rings, do you look at the hand as an indicator to whether someone is taken?

But posting here is a great way to relieve that frustration and hurt and anger before you talk to him. I admit this is strange that you are being left out, especially after 3 years. I would call him out on it, just be like, hey man are you p.o.ed or what? See what he says and go from there.

I concur 2-4 days

Maybe its not a matter of losing weight but doing exercises to tone that specific area? That is just a thought... Take care and good luck on your journey! L

Tears~ I am glad to see that you are dong well despite they stuff with your ex. I had that problem for awhile, but eventually they go away. For now focus on what is going well in your life. The less attention that you give to her, the more you can give to your new lady, and isnt that more worth your time? every moment of frustration that you let her have from your life is a moment that you take away from the life you want to live. Hang in there, it will get better.

i am going against the grain here. I go for the long term.

I only like shaggy if its curly, ala Josh Groban. Otherwise, short shaved or bald.

I agree, take it slow, very slow, but I think it sounds like there is something there. It sounds like the two of you have a sweet sort of friendship now, and while caution is always advised, in my opinion I would say hes totally viewing you in a more than just friends way.

I love this thread!! I drink all sorts of tea. My all time favorite being chai and its many variations. There arent many teas I dont like, but I must admit I am not especially fond of the fruit infused ones.

I agree with Clementine. I think he probably does like you, and maybe he just got a case of the nerves the day he came in. You can never second guess what another person is thinking. Just chill, and take it easy. Bit is right if he came in a few weeks after you guys had talked about it, its obvious he wants to hang out with you. Just let time take its natural course! Take care!

seld~ sorry to hear that you had a bad boy experience!! That bites. If it were me, I would just forget about him. Hard to do I know. I would busy myself with activites, i.e., join clubs, go to the movies, attend games. Dont let one person spoil your potential to have fun and to meet someone else! LeAnn

I have worked in libraries for ten years now both part time and full time. I love some aspects of my job and not so much other aspects. I love helping the students and working the circ desk. I work with budgets and acquistions. If you have an awesome sense of detail and have a geniune love of books and knowledge and sharing and teaching others what you know, I say go for it. Libraries will be changing a lot in the coming years more technologies and all, and it is always nice to see young people interested in learing what we know. LeAnn

Well, pending the more details, I say if she is really worth it, and it sounds like she is, hang in there, wait the 2 months and then see how it goes. I would think that she would be flattered that you chose to wait than if you give up on her now.

Mav~ I understand what you mean about close friends. I have lots of people to hang out with, but who I am super close with, not really. In my case though, I just find it hard to be vulnerable enough to let go of information/emotions that would allow me to do that. I have been burned from close friends and now I just find myself wary. I also totally agree that its harder to make friends as you get older. In terms of the looks like everyone else has lots of close friends, maybe they do maybe they dont. Maybe they are just going through the motions too? Just a thought. Take care! LeAnn

Miss Dashwood, Hello there! I have been reading and following your posts about this situation for some time now, and I felt the need to write in on it. I understand and realize that you have feelings for this fellow, and that dating and all that leads up to it can be tough and awkward. Please do not take what I say next in a harsh way at all, because it really comes from a place that wants to see you happy. Its 2006, you are an independent woman who needs no man in her life. You are smart and have a lot going for you, act like it. Stop being so shy and tell this boy how you feel. Be the grown woman that you are, and tell him. Odds are this wont be the last time in your life that you will have to do this, and this instance will make good practice. He might be shy, he might be a lot of things. In any instance regarding another person you will never know 100% sure how they will feel and or react. However you know you, and you know you like him, so tell him. Its not the 1800's and as much as I love Jane Austen times like that where the woman waits for the man to decide to make his move are over. Take the power that you have as an independent woman of the new millennium and OWN it. Tell him that you like him, even if its just an e-mail. If he responds that he doesnt feel the same then you can begin the healing and moving on process sooner than later. If you wait, you will only have more feelings invested and it will be harder. I am not telling you to stay or to move on. I am telling you to be honest with this fellow. If a boy liked you, you would want him to do that right, so do it with this one. I know that this is all easier said than done, but truly and sincerely just be honest with this boy and see what comes of it. Take care and I sincerely wish you all the best!!! LeAnn

Hello all, I found this thread a bit late but here is my 2 cents. For me looks arent a big factor. out of 100% it matters about 10 % ~ basically its a bonus. To me what is important is good hygiene, friendly attitude and a sense of humor. That for me will warrant a second look, add intelligence, a bit of sarcasm, and a "geniune" personality, whooo, that will have me interested and wanting to find out more. In regards to your second question, yes you are physically attractive. However remember that for some women being physically attractive wont matter much if you are an immature jerk. (just for the record, I am not saying you are, I dont want any confusion to arise from that statement) Hope this helps! LeAnn

Here is my 2 cents... Just because she has condoms, doesnt mean she is using them. I know I had them long before I ever got to the point where I was in a situation to need one. She could have gotten them at school or from a friend. My advice would be to talk to her in a calm and reasonable manner. Odds are she might be pretty miffed she had her drawers gone through, and will feel like her privacy was invaded. Let her vent and wait for it, be patient and then find out what is really going on. I dont have children of my own, and I cant imagine how you or your ex feels, but I know how I would feel if I was in your daughters shoes. Hope this helps! Good luck and take care! LeAnn

SG79 It sounds like you might be playing devils advocate in your head. while sometimes this can be good, it can also defeat your self image. You said yourself you are pretty and smart. Remember that. Let that be your guiding force when you talk to him. That will help your confidence level. Do you have any signs in particular that have given you cause to think there might be a "vibe" there? L~

I would go in with friends and approach her then. That is not weird or creepy. She could be bummin' out that she lost your number, and has no way to get in contact with you. You have the way, I would do it. I hope it works out for you!! Keep us posted!! LeAnn

men who fart and claim it like they are proud of it

Well you should always listen to your gut. I hope things work out for you, my fingers are crossed!!!