jmantra

Quit going around acting like you're the victim when you're the one who dumped me and cheated on me during our relationship. Quit telling everybody that I am stalking you when I barely talk to you ( and when I know you have people spying on my social media page) All I want for you to pay me the money you owe me because you were too irresponsible to pay your rent. I'd rather not go to court and I would like to move on with my life please. WHy can't you just be a responsible, even though in your mind I am a man child, screw you!. I hope your multiple sclerosis kills you slowly and painfully and you get sent to hell where you will never see your son ever again.

No I won't my life doesn;t really affect that many people. And my family? I am sure with the right support they will move on, alot of people's children die everyday. They say that suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness, what more selfish suicide or sitcking around just for sake others and not having to rock the craddle? Why stick around anyways, so second hand relatives and acquantancies have someone they can look down on? uh uh I don;t think so bub. And besides if things improve I most likely will not carry through anyway. My Parents aren;t exactly well off themselves, and my dad is very frugile about loaning money he's loaned me enough for school, and I can;t get a loan cause my credit is shot to hell.

My Daily Routine: I force myself out of bed Thinking to myself ("Whats the point?") I go to my job which I enjoy but pays jack and is only part time. I am pretty much the IT department so I get to help a bunch of computer illierates with their silly little computer problems, like how to send an email using outlook, and how to find a document on their hard drive. I really like the people but their computer illiteracy irks me to no end. Of course I try not to show this as it could be detrimental to my job. I've been sending out Resumes to try find another job but I feel like I am just spinning my wheels. My whole life feels like this, and I feel as if any second I am gonna collapse... I am 23 years old and still live with my parents so that means I get to deal with my family and their bull * * * * as soon I get home. I get to hear my domineering 11 year old sister yell, demand things, critisize me, and occasional call me and other people names. Whenever I try to explain her behavior to my mom, who is the queen of denial BTW, she tries to rationalize her behavior by saying: "You're all older so she feels she has to comepte with you guys" It's always "our" fault never hers.Their is absolutely no excuse for her behavior. Then you have my 21 year old sister who is even more emotionally immature and unstable then the eleven year old. She doesn't know how to drive nor does she have a job. She is very demanding and curses a lot. It's really demoralizing to hear. Then you have my Dad who have resented for many years. He helps me out but is extremely criticial, demeaning and at times verbally abusive growing up. He even does it to my mom. I can't stand it, I wanna move out, but don;t have the financial means, their's really no relatives I can stay with (atleast none I can trust). You would think I can get away from all this just by going out with some buddies for a drink or with a girlfriend?? EHH!HHH!!!! Wrong again! Most of my friends IRL are either away at school, too busy with school and work, or have turned on me all together. And a girlfriend? forget it! A lot of outlet is with people online but the place I go to hang out alot of people aren't fond of me because of some silly internet relationship gone wrong?? Pathetic on all of our parts, eh?? And just to add iceing to the cake I am in debt up to my ears. Not only do I have student loans out of my * * *, but I got credit cards, and other unpaid bills. I can't take any of this anymore. That why the suicide idea has been floating in my head lately, but don't worry I am not going to do anything drastic just yet. I am giving things til June 23, my 24th birthday, otherwise Sianora! They say suicide is a cowardly act but what is more cowardly, continueing to live your life as a loser, or knowing when it's best to throw in the towel and go out with atleast some dignity intact? They also say those who commit suicide go to hell, even though I am a recent born again Evangelical Christian, I am having alot of doubts about the validity of religion. If 'God' is so filled with love why would he condemn someone who commits suicide to hell? Also if God is about love how come we have to praise, worship, and serve. And if religion is truly the basis of all life, then why their so many religions? wouldn;t their be one authoriative religion? A lot of pain, wars, and violence could be erradicated if we eliminate the mass delusion that is religion. I have been in and out therapy, different medications, and psych hospitals for depression, it never gets better.Antidepressiants only help so much and therapy is such a waste of time, they (the therapists) don't even know what the hell they;re talking about half time. It doesn;t solve anything. I can't take this anymore, so I am giving life one last chance. Hopefully things will improve, otherwise this life expires June 23, 2007. Wish me luck everyone.

I have reason to believe a friend of mine is talking bad about me behind my back. I am too tired to elaborate right now. Anyhow it's always been my personal belief that if you have a problem with someone, especially if they are a childhood friend, that they should talk to me about it. Does anyone have some advice how about how i can bring this up to him?

I hate this I am not only lonely in the romantic realm but lonely in general. Don't have too many friends and call and hang out with. Plus I am stuck in the house because of a snow storm. Plus Valentine;s day is so pointless why not show love for your SO everyday???

Just had to get that out of my system!

Man I feel like a piece of crap everyone so far on this board has moved out either around my age or younger. I feel like I am a loser and that their is something cause I am not making the same strides as everyone else. I got out of technical college back in April 2006 expected to get a really great high paying job. Well things didn't work out and while the job I do have is my field and I really enjoy it, It just doesn't pay enough Got it's so frustrating you go to college expecting you'll get out and be successful, have your own place and be independent. But then things don't turn out that way, and now I feel like a loser. I hate to beat on myself like this, but what is this pathetic loser of a "man" supposed to do??

I agree I think a PFA and a trip to the local mental ward is in order here.

Thanks for the insight meantime made me a feel a bit better about my situation. I was quite baffled and hurt when I called her this morning. I emailed her this morning asking what was up, I tried to be nice about it of course, but whether she gives me an explanation or not, i think doing what she did was more about her than it was about me and was probably for the best. Thank you all for the advice you've all been wonderful.

So trying to find out the reason someone says one thing and does another is stalking??? I don't think so. Blocking my number is a bit extreme IMO and I'd atleast like to know why... if she tells me to F off I can deal with that and move on.

lol how bout that and women complain men are mean? hippocrits, sorry for the anger ladies but I am really hurt and frustrated right now

I did, but I did it because I felt she was growing distant we were in LD relationship (she's in England, I am Pennsylvania, USA) it was hard to see each other so i decided it was best to end it. She said she wanted to remain friends so I said ok. I kind of miss her though, not as a g/f but I really enjoyed talking to her. She's a great person. I am just not sure what provoked her to do that? Even if it does have something to do with her fiancee I wish she would just let me know, barring my number seems extreme to me as if I was threatening her or something

I haven't spoken to my ex in months and i decided to call her to see how her holidays went and say hi, well it turns out my number is barred! We ended on good terms as far as I know and like I said I haven't spoken to her in months so it's not like I was stalking her. But the fact that she blocked my number makes me feel like some sort of monster. If she doesn't want anything to do with me, I can deal with that and move on, but I wish she would just be frank with me. I can't stand dishonesty and ambiguity, if she would just tell me why I will leave her alone and cease contact. One thing she is engaged I am not sure that has anything to do with it, maybe she just wants to put the past behind her and cease contact, but I wish she would just let me know. I am not some psycho stalker but she made me feel like one today.

"Oh my boyfriend destroys my possesions, can't hold his own end financially, broke into my car, and knocks me around but I still love him he's such a great guy" image removed image removed

So a person who is shy and/or eccentric is untrustworthy and won't be as pleasent as your average extrovert???

See this what I am talking about, corporations picking something as petty as not talking enough, then acting passive-aggressively by just outright firing you. *scoff* The world we live in

Oh so if you're shy and/or just a little eccentric this causes problems?

I am always reading on different forums about how people are getting sacked or getting bad reviews because of "bad interpersonal or communication skills" that don't involve customer service. What ever happened to just showing and doing your job?? Personally I wouldn't want to interact with my co-workers in an office environment, can't trust anyone these days with office politics and backstabbing. So why do they place so much emphasis when really all it does in the long run is cause problems??

Not sure where to put this but.. I was bullied, shunned, and ostracised throughout school growing up. It hurt me so much I became suicidal in high school and had to be hospitilized for depression.( You start really believe the things people say about you after a while) To this day it still haunts me. I still suffer from depression, and often have nightmares and flashbacks about it.In fact one of my more crueler tormentors works for the public works department in my township, he was doing leaf collection to get the piles of leaves off the street, he drove by and made a remark while I was out having a ciggy. The administation and teachers were no help because it was mainly verbal. Even a few teachers were ignorant to me. It really makes me sick to my stomach that this is allowed to go on schools and sometimes in workplaces. People are fugged up. Another issue I am having is I was molested by a female babysitter when I was 7. Whenever I would get intimate with former girlfriends, I would have this anxiety, this repulsion about it even though I wanted to do it. (I am a male after all ) So in essense, because of all this I don;t trust people now. I don't know if I can trust people, I don;t know if I can move past this... I think the scars are too deep..

Not directly however I have had some unfortunate experiences with the opposite sex and thereforeeee have some unresolved issues torwards females in general. Can't trust them, so I am love shy and when I do happen to find a female who fancies me I always drive her away somehow. What brought that on was reading a post in the suicide forum about a woman's brother who commited suicide because his wife left him for another man, took his home and kids. It really made my blood boil that he was driven to do that.

Sorry if my OP came off a bit sexist, I guess I have some unresolved issues with the opposite gender due to bad experiences. but ya I guess divorce is just all around a bad thing and whats really sad is the fact that it's dramatically increased over the 50 years or so. It seems the problem is alot of people marry for the wrong reasons. A lot of people seem to marry out of societal expectations and despairity. I think alot of people should stay single until they're atleast 25. That way people have plenty of time to get to know and love themselves. Once you truly know and love yourself it will be alot easier to find a compatible mate.

I am so sick of women finding someone else to love then taking a man's home and children and essentially them over, for all you women out there who are cheaters think long and hard on what you are about to do, not only will you totally screw over your husbhand but you will be hurting your children because you have taken away a stable home which is something they need to grow up healthy all because you wanted to cheat. Too many selfish, manipulative out there, they can;t be trusted, thereforeeee no marriage for me. Rant over!!

Jesus f*** christ I didn;t make that poem for you guys critique it, I made it because I am feeling lonely, nobody has time for me anymore and I have a non existant love life. I thought this was supposed to be a support site thanks ENA:sad:

The poem was to express myself because I am alone for the most part. I don't have many friends and although I enjoy the solitude sometimes I get lonely.

I sit here at this computer alone I walk down the street alone I eat at restaraunts alone I drive alone I watch TV alone I go the movies alone I go over all my hopes and dreams alone I ponder the meaning and purpose of my life alone I will live in a country house on the praire alone I get caught in the abyss alone I will die alone