canuckhead

i hear that a lot...but is it really a good reason to break up with someone? i mean, r they really bored with the other person, or r they just bored with their own lives? it just seems silly cuz ur bound to get bored with whoever ur with...think about spending ur whole life with someone....its bound to get repetitive somewhere down the road. theres always gonna be a point where u can finish each others sentences, know each other inside and out, predict what each others gonna do...i mean, thats just bound to happen isn't it? personally, i don't think i'd break up with a gf just cuz i'm bored....i'd just go find some hobbies to do when i'm not hanging out with her.

yeah we hang out every weekend friday to sunday night pretty much. and then during the week...we usually phone each other once during the day to say whats up (usually 10min chat)...and for sure say good night to each other (again asking how each others days were...what happened...stuff like that) before we go to bed.

just wondering, but do good-looking ppl usually have longer lasting relationships? or get treated better during their relationships? i mean, it sounds shallow, but my friends got this gf whos a real ...but he treats her too well...his ex was much nicer, yet they didn't last nor did he treat her as well. it seems ppl put up with more if the other person is "hot". agree?

in some circumstances...i think apologizing would be good (such as if u guys r still good friends)...in that case, u can just bring it up as u guys r hanging out or something...or chatting on aim. but if u guys haven't really stayed in touch...and if u really did hurt him and treated him pretty bad...i'm pretty sure he wouldn't want any memories of that past anymore...and apologizing to him now after all this time will just bring back memories he doesn't want. and trust me, its not gonna do him anything. in that case, what's accomplished in the end? nothing but making urself feel better (which is selfish). an ex-ex of mine treated me pretty bad after the breakup after being together for 3+ years...basically treating me like i never even existed. that ended a couple years ago...and if she's starting to feel guilty now, i sure as hell don't want to hear any apologies from her...not anymore anyways.

while i agree with most...but not consistency. from what i learned...that means boring. girls want a guy that surprises them and is unpredictable...right? or maybe i'm misunderstanding...

i think some women care...some really don't. go search for the threads about what qualities women wants in a guy/boyfriend. or find a thread about what a girl loves about their boyfriends. none of them ever says penis size! "i love my bf becuz hes sweet, caring, and has a big penis"...u rarely hear that (with some exceptions, and these r the women that care about size).

lol u know what...this sounds a bit like my ex ex. except she broke up with me becuz of MY family...bascially saying it's different than hers. and she ain't even that close to her own family! and we were together for 3years. these ppl just have a lotta growing up to do. ur not having a relationship with the family....ur having it with ur gf/bf. i mean...when u get older...how many times u gonna really see the others family anyways...maybe once or twice on the weekends...or maybe just during the holidays even. i think breaking up becuz their culture isn't the same as urs just shows how close-minded some ppl r. either that....or theres really some other underlying problems. (sorry...lol maybe i'm venting becuz it brought up past memories)

i somehow don't agree with some things in this article. While i agree, boredom could kill a relationship...i don't think its the boredom BETWEEN the two ppl, but the boredom within one person. its like that saying "u have to be happy with urself...etc"...some ppl probably have boring lives themselves, yet they blame the relationship for being boring. While i agree that a relationship where one person just holds everything back is bound to fail....i don't agree that fighting and arguing all the time is healthy either. i mean...sure there could be some differences...but theres a limit. Whats that limit? i don't really know...so i don't really know what this article is trying to say. is it basically saying there should be fights? if so....whats a good amount? once a week? once a month? ...idk....i say if a couple really gets along well...and don't fight much...then they should keep it that way.

i agree with bpb and mystik...u just concentrate on treating her well and showing her what a healthy relationship is all about. u have to let her make her own decision regarding her ex. don't interfere with that whatsoever. gl

buddy...shes obviously confused about everything. either that or like i said, shes just keeping u around in case she doesn't find anyone better. her previous bf didn't work out, so then she went back to u. now theres kurt...and shes seeing if he'll turn out better...while keeping u on the side....waiting. now do u really want to get urself involved in this triangle (or is it a square now)? u said ur attractive, have a good career, a guy with lots to give....now give it a girl that actually wants it.

lol didn't u already put up another thread about this? anyways...since she's already going back and forth between u two...it obviously means shes confused. she likes u...but not enough to really dump the other guy for u. basically shes using u as a backup in case things with her bf goes down the crapper. trust me....they may have broken up, but shes still thinking about him too. she says all these things about wanting to be with u....but its all talk, no action. she'll come back to u for a few days...then go back to her (ex)bf. its just gonna keep being a back and forth cycle with....heck u even said she's done that many times in the past. i suggest u really give her an ultimatum. u or him...and if she doesn't show any action....don't ever talk to her again, and actually follow thru. next time she tries to phone u...don't answer, say ur busy and hang up...whatever. keep her outta ur life. but if she chooses u...shes gotta show it. and if she does....good for u i guess (if thats the kinda girl u like)...

Don't really know where to put this but anyways... im just wondering if a person would grow up to be like their parents/family? Say ur dating someone, but he/she didn't really have a great childhood...parents divorced, r selfish, neglected the kid, etc....would the guy/girl grow up to be just like them? cuz i keep feeling (but this is just my opinion) that ppl learn about relationships mainly from their parents right? they learn about what love is...and what a healthy relationship is from them....i mean, school doesn't teach this stuff. so say ur thinking long-term with this person...thinking about family in the future....is it normal to worry that ur partner would just suddenly turn out to be just like their parents? or would it be the opposite and since this person has already gone thru this experience that he/she would actually do his/her best to not be like that?

i haven't read ur previous posts but....if u've already had serious talks with him and set up examples too, and he still doesn't really do anything....then just accept the fact that maybe he's just not the romantic type. i mean....some guys just aren't. he could force himself to...but trust me, u won't really enjoy the things anyways. u'll be able to tell he doesn't really like doing these things. u'll see that its forced...now would u really enjoy that? i had an ex a few years back (i'm the guy btw) and i was the one that always came up with romantic things to do. she just wasn't the romantic type and i can't change that. i'd tell her to do some romantic things for me...and she would...but it just wasn't the same. i can tell she's only doing it becuz i told her to. If this is really important to u...like in the long run...then maybe u guys just aren't as compatible. if not, then just accept it.

i think this week off will be a good idea for u to think about what u really want. and if u do decide to take a break...don't string him along. also, he shouldn't change for u...he should change for himself. if hes changing just to be with u...thats only going to last temporarily. once he gets u back...he'll be back to his old self.

i suggest u take a break from him and figure out what kinda guy u want. ur young, and obviously even younger when u met him...so maybe u didn't realize what u really wanted. if a guy doesn't have the qualities ur looking for (ambitious, goal-driven, caring...etc.) then dont' be with him. cuz thats not gonna change. if the only good thing in this relationship is that he puts his arm around u when ur down....heck alotta guys do that.

yeah....but with the same person?

sorry to be a downer here....but i just don't believe it when ppl say they just "knew." to me, thats kinda like hindsight bias...cuz they're still in the relationship aren't they? u can ask many here, whether they were the dumpers or dumpees how they felt when they were with their ex, and they'll tell u their ex was the one and they just "knew" it...yet their feelings change....they fall outta love or whatever, or someone EVEN better comes along and they just can't resist. to the op, i think its a case of wanting what u don't have. while u have a relationship, u'll want freedom cuz u don't have it. if u have freedom, u'll want a relationship...maybe not right away, but sooner or later u will. and in ur case, she left u...so obviously that makes u want her back even more.

i'm asking this cuz with me....it just feels like a big circle sometimes. i mean, i'm out with a girl, i pick her up, have a great convo in the car, then at dinner we talk...then suddenly theres a silence. and then in my mind (because the silence just seems so akward during a dinner), i start getting nervous and pressured, which actually makes it worse. and then that 30sec of silence turns into 2mins becuz i'm still nervous pressuring myself to think of something to say. but then when we're in the car, the silences aren't akward, and thereforeeee no pressure, and then something will usually come up where we'll talk again. i just feel like sometimes this ruins my dates.....and maybe the reason why theres no second dates for soem.

that's kinda what i don't get. whats the difference between when ur in the car to when ur out at dinner? so....should i just save up the conversation we're gonna have in the car and then just talk about it during dinner instead? however, i do get what ur trying to say...it's more akward when theres silence while out at dinner than when in a car....but i'm just wondering why there's a difference?

when ur with ur boy/girlfriend...do u always have something to talk about? like say, u guys talk everyday, and then hang out one day...and then during like a car ride somewhere, theres silence...is that normal (especially if u've been goin out for a while)? How about at dinner or something? i mean, does a healthy relationship mean ALWAYS having something to say to each other like 24/7?

That statement should already give u a clear answer. u shouldn't stay with someone just because it's better than nothing. and what do u mean by "stuck"? stuck being single? that shouldn't be a reason as to why u should have a girlfriend either. u gotta think about her too. dragging this on longer than it should would just hurt her more and make it even harder for u to end it. imo, and i agree with the above poster, the spark shouldn't be gone in only 4 months. u guys should still be in the honeymoon stage. i think u guys maybe just aren't compatible...and thereforeeee should end it (or just be friends)...but thats just my opinion.

yea i've only been outta high school for like 5 years and i find myself sometimes thinking back to those times. i miss a lot of those friends and how much fun it actually was goin to class. maybe becuz it was so carefree back then...no worries, no stress, no heartbreaks lol...

r these by ur own (like by urself, no roommates or s.o.) or r these already ur half?

don't know where this really belongs but i just have a question. to all those ppl who live on their own (away from parents), how much is the cost of living nowadays anyways? like say ur rent would be around $1000...how much do u spend for the month for paying other bills (electricity, heat, water, gas, car, groceries)? how much do u have left for entertainment? on average, how much do u spend a month? I'm just trying to get some info before i decide to move out...thanks.