HangingInThere

I do not ask anyone for anything, ther just do because I am loveable...some can maintain it, some cant and then they feel 'bad' because they couldnt do it... I am very far from bossy, trust me when I say that...I just think up all these things (like i did in this thread) because i know it is asinine to even bring to my b/f i have the most ladi back personality...never boss any of my family or friends around! Really i do nto think the world evolves around me - but i have grown accustomed to certain things, and sometimes it is hard to actually have things done differently, kinda hard to cope with..(like Not that Girl said in her post). That is why I say i am spoiled. On a different note, but i think this is where yu are trying to go with it, I was spoiled, my 1st car was given to me by my dad - we were driving on the highway I said that is nice car, i want it.....a few hours later we were at his car dealer! My brother brought me a Range Rover with his 1st big contract! I now drive a 2006 benz, have my own homes, have a great career....and I am okay on the eyes So yes i have been spoil growing up and til adult. So yes I liek attention (attention that i am not lacking) but attention from my b/f...but I dont make a stink about it to him...because I know it is me and my 'issue' I have to get over certain things - feeling this way when he doesn't call when I expect him to call...but honestly I am not letting affect my relationship!

i was just having a moment....he called a few minutes ago...had an emergency with his family member! i'm that girl...yes he calls every morning/afternoon before he leaves to go to work! again, i was just having a moment - i guess I grew accustomed to him doing that and it didn't happen tis morning, so i was a bit antsy Controlling? not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have never demanded anything from him ( i think these things, but never express them to him...becuz I know how type asinine it is!) Self absorbed? Not al all!!!!!!!!!!!! Lets stick to the word Spoil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not insecure.....I have a lot going for me, i have great family & friends, I am busy at work - great career. I juts like the fact that I am the center of my s/o attention. He was single for over a year and he told me early on he became very introverted due to that and he has to start thinking in relationship mode again. I am not going to have a convo with him about not being that 1st call in the AM. So maybe I shouldnt have said it bothers me, but I like that attention Its funny, because i really don't have to talk to him, I just like to know that he is showing me attention.....he even complain to me that i do not call him enough and he puts in most of the calls throughout the day...so i tried to change that early this week.... but i start feeling weird that i know he started his day and haven't thought about hearing my voice! I can't describe it! btw, HM can mean a lot of different things, it doesn't necessarily have to do with money...and yes, I am the youngest - i have an older brother! Oh , he tells me I am spoil and I have been spoiled by many ppl (ex's, family and friends)

Over the years i have realized that i am high maintenance, but only now it is driving me 'insane'! Just to give you an example, would you be bothered if your s/o doesn't call you as soon as s/he wakes in the morning, but go to the internet instead! For some odd reason that bothers me! i mean I am busy working and whanot at the time he is now waking up...but i like to know that I am that much on his mind that he NEEDS to call me first thing! I'll give more examples of my HM ways as this thread progress!

feel better!

we are very affectionate towards each other - we are not lacking in that department! I just called him and told him how much adore him and he said it back - I could just tell he was smiling with glee....yesterday he also sent me a text saying he miss me, wants to hug me, kiss me, touch me, smell me, just be with me and we just saw each other on Saturday - very very sweet....and my freaking side took the romance out of the text and said sumtin raunchy and sexual (he like that tho) perhaps i am just so eager to hear the L word. but in hindsight, there were a few relationship(s) were that word was thrown around like it was going out of style and look where me and them ended up?! So i guess it really is refreshing knowing that he is taking his time with it and not just throwing it around like that, same for me!

all you guys are right........my bestfriend just told me to cut it out! i wasnt going to approach him with it though - I was just thinking it! i guess he does and his actions tell me he really cares and perhaps love me - I guess I just want to hear him say it! Actually last night, we were talking about stuff in the relationship - very good conversation...and I asked him how can he want to do certain things with me and tell me he wants to spend eternity with me?! I mean to know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, shouldnt you have to LOVE them to even fathom those thoughts? he replied that we are not in love with each other and obviously that is going to come.

what do you mean? (motive)

My b/f of 2 months sent me a text yesterday with a poem. I thought the poem was cute, but for some odd reason I ran it thru google and realized that he edited part of it, as oppose to leaving it like the original. here is HIS version of the poem: I dropped a tear in the ocean for you, the day you find it is the day i stop caring for you ___________________ now substitute 'caring for you' with 'loving you'.............that is what the original poem reads. should I be insulted by this? My bestfriend said I am just spoil and just use to my exes saying the L word too soon. what do you think?

This Is Sad And Pathetic Dat You Would Display Her Pic Like Dat... I Didnt See It, But I Would Hate To Have You As A B/f

Soul Mate vs. Play Mate In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for a Playmate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a hard distinction to make; Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun to be with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make a Soul mate out of a Playmate. The danger of this is that later, after years of playing, we will meet our Soul mate, but it may be too late then. We may have already made a Life mate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children, etc.) Or we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves to be anyone's anything. How can we distinguish between the One, and just another one? First, we must be open with ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind. Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole. In order to find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. And is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be him/her? What about that friend who is always willing to go the extra mile for you when no one else will. Oh no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy, and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me! Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your head. She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me! So what if he or she doesn't look like Denzel Washington or Janet Jackson! He or she is going to treat you like the jewel that you are. Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty of Playmates out there to occupy your time. But don't spend too much time playing or you may play your life away. Eventually the playing loses its' appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate.

my b/f changed his status to 'in a rel' a couple of weeks ago, without me even mentioning it to him again...i had a myspace acct i canceled it (was NOT very into it) he goes on everyday (yeah i'm a myspace stalker) lol....a few ppl leaves comments for him but he usually deletes them...i am not sure how he decieds which ones stay and which ones go, since none of them are that bad anyways... i really and truly think myspace is childish, more so when you are in an exclusive relationship...JMO

i speak to my babe about 5 - 7 times a day and before we go to bed. our convo ranges in time. but we speak quite frequently throughout the day. he does most of the calling.

Ok, we have been seing each other only a very short time now.....but everything is so perfect...the chemistry is amazing - the looks we give each other...the jokes....the conversations. We just have so much fun together...we just click!!!!! He is ready to be in a relationship, the last serious relationship for him was roughly 16 months ago - he's been dating, but no one he wanted to take to the next level! He scheduled a trip with his buddies before he met me, so he was scheduled to be away for 4 days - he came back a day earlier because he wanted to see me and be with me. When we saw eachother last night, it was INCREDIBLE, with a capital I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E! my ex did the same thing too (had a trip planned and came back earlier to be with me) Last week he suggested that we do not see other ppl and be exclusive, but still he didnt put a title on it (BF or GF), nonetheless, i was flattered and said okay! I like him a whole lot and i think this could be the ONE. he knows I am somewhat old fashion and I feel like a man should ask a woman to be his lady and so forth - i mentioned that to him when he mentioned the not dating anyone else thing...but when i said that he never acknowledge, so i just left it alone - being that he was leaving the next day to go on his trip! Now, last night he said to me that he wants us to be a couple (during the heat of our session ). so shortly after, I ask if he meant it and he said yes....still I was a bit leary - we just had a few glasses of wine! So this morning i asked him the same thing and he said YES YES YES and for him, he prefer to say those things while being intimate with someone because he is giving that person his all and his feelings are even more pure at this time...but to make me feel better and now the day after he is going to ask me again to be his lady! So now, I have a boyfriend again! Do yu think we are moving too fast? or If the chemistry is there and everything is perfect (we had a few disputes, but we got over them so fast - his way of 'arguing' is so much different from my ex - very refreshing! ) we have butterflies on top of butterflies, should we not look at the time we have been together and just know this is what we want?

well she knows her boyfriend better than any of us - so if she thinks he will like the gesture, then she should proceed! she did ask us what we thought, didn't she?!

ITS SOUNDS A BIT WEIRD TO ME AS WELL......JUST WAIT FO RHIM TO GET SETTLED IN AND THEN MAKE PLANS ACCORDINGLY. I KNOW FOR MYSELF, AFTER A vacation or short trip, i need to unwind first - i wouldnt want to see my s/o hiding in my closet ...lol...laying in my jacuzzi...laying on the couch /bed as soon as i open the door...... i agree with robo - that is way too much! but this post was created a while agho - let us know what u ended up doing

yup it is very very refreshing! glad to hear that yu are happy as well

Hello All, as some of you know, I recently broke up with my ex - he tried to contact me and I never returned any of his calls! We never met up to return each other's belongings (after much thought, i was so thru with him that i really didn't want to see him) So i made arrangements to leave his belongings with his family! One day he called to tell me to meet him such and such place - I told him that the week prior I spoke to his sister about giving her his stuff! He said okay, he'll do the same! Now a few minutes went by and he calls back yelling at me - i am not even sure what he was saying, but instead of yelling back like i would normally do to him...i calmy said to him, i think he is slowly losing it and have a nice day! (then i hung up)...he calls back (i hung up)...he calls back and this time i talked to him - i said i am not sure what it is you are going thru, but I will pray for him and for him to take it easy..i do not want to see you, so I am going to give your stuff to his sister...i even said, that not to inconvenience him, he can just throw my stuff away (a few clothes, shoes, and small amount of jewelry) All those things I can replace and I really want him out of my life - i do not want ot speak to him/see him! He then starts threatening me and cursing really bad...I again said have a nice day...then the emails start.. i told him leave me alone and I am going toblock all his email addresses and any weird new emails i rec'd i am just going to directly delete them. Well my newfound attitude made him completely lose it, i feel sad about that though! I am not pretending to be OVER him, i really am and I want nothing to do with him - like if i never knew him and he finds that hard to believe, hence his behavior! going back, the 1st week of June (before the official break up) I told him I needed a break...2 weeks later the relationship was completely over! In that 1st week, he sent me 'inadvertently' sent me an invite to MYSPACE, so being curious i signed up. While on there I looked for a few friends. I had a male best buddy when i was in H.s and i did a search by his name - I found him, well what i thought was him! In anycase, me and this myspace guy starting speaking to each other via email - we had/have so much in common, he is very handsome, intelligent, and sweet! We decided to meet in person at a very busy place...I find out his brother is a friend of my brother! We have hung out a few times and speaking every day a few times during the day...we really really like each other! He never met anyone off the internet and I never met anyone off the internet - so we think its really weird that two ppl that are new to this, got 'lucky' and ended up with very 'together' ppl! We think it is a blessing from God! I am really happy and I thank God that he brought this put together beautiful man man into my life! Also, tell me if you see the irony here as well - my ex invited me to MYSPACE (even though he said it was an accident - he didn't mean to invite me). So if it wasn't for me initiating space, he would have never created a myspace acct, invite me to his myspace, leading me to create a myspace acct and eventually meeting this beautiful man! - I think i need to thank the Ex as well! lol

i totally agree....i think he wants to believe he moved on...he may have moved on as far as dating someone new and so forth, but to ponder if she is going to msg him or even give it any thought....

but try to understand this Luck, if you force her to write this and she does it because of this pressure, who is to say that afterwards and while you are gone she doesn't make amends with him?! Leave it up to here and let her do it on her own, no coercion, at least you will know then that she is 'serious'. Woldn't prefer to know that she is not with him because she really doesn't want to be with him, or you prefer her to be pressured and go away thinking she did it only because i Forced her too? Just let do this on her own, if that is what she chooses to do

wow..all of that from you?! (i am being sacrastic here).....why are you demanding her to write an email and then compare it and balh blah blah. you guys decided to give it another shot, fine, but you are already starting out on the wrong leg here! this is someone that she once dated and she said that she wanted to be with you again and not him...okay its only been 2 days? why does she need to prove herself that way something like this happened to me...we both did it...he did it to me first and i was very upset that he made me do it (the same day when he was away i sent a text to my friend and told him please forgive and i am sorry I said those things - he knew exactly what i was going thru and the personi was involved with and he admire and appreciated me as a friend, so it was easy for him to accept my apologies! Then months later idid it to him, just to be an ahole and was really ashamded and embarrass afterwards tha i made him do that! also, why must it be on your own timing (the world doesn't evolve around you) from the looks of it, you are not trusting her and that is a bad way to rekkindle a relationship

Why do you feel at ease or in a better place now? I feel so at ease for the past month or so....i felt liberated and oh so great when i decided to take a break/space from my ex, which ultimately turned into a breakup! Couldn't trust him or believe him anymore...his depression started to drive me carzy...I hung in there for a long time, put up with his moods just because I thought i needed to be strong and wait for him to overcome whatever it was he was going thru. he was so wrong for me, when i wrote on a piece of paper the pros and cons...the cons were ahead by a landslide! -he was stubborn -wrong and strong at the same time -not affectionate -not very hygienate...yeah i know -cannot have kids -low sex drive -wants fast money(doesnt have a career) - he's 36 -out of shape -still live at home -his friends are tacky (in all senses of the word) -he lies like every other hour -ego...ego...ego. (why i dont know) -says he hates to argue, but he is very argumentative -claims not to be a jealous person, but when he gets caught doing silly things things...oh forgive him, he'ss a jealous person -gossip like a 'girl' -life is beyond and unnecessarily chaotic...he put himself in so many jams i can go on, but if he ever stumbles upon this site or this thread, he would know its him and its me typing this stuff dont get me wrong, i am far from perfect (his family was extremely happy i came into his life and his sister even said to me a long time ago, we are not on the same level...i didn't know what she meant, then she said that i have too much going on and more mature and together than he is and perhaps his behavior stems from him being intimiidated and perhaps feels like he is less of a man. some of me: -affectionate -honest (for the most part) -great career -own 2 homes in the US (one i rent out, the other i just aquire and now lives in) & one home offshore -drive a brand new $82k car -not stubborn -loving -successful friends & family -loves to cook -keep a great home -had loving past relationships -compassionate Let this be a thread where you write the reasons that it makes sense that you are no longer a couple!