blueangel

Have any of you had experiences? You all seem to have faith. How was it aquired for you? I'd really like to know- I'm very interested in this subject.

Okay, I understand you are worried about the situation here. A lot of people are giving you a hard time about it. Basically: here's what I think you should do, to answer what you are actually asking for: Follow your gut feeling. Follow your heart. Remember that the words (to your cousin), "I'm here for you. I want to give support. Times seem hard right now. You're husband's wellbeing seems to be slipping. Is there anything I can do? Is there anything you want to talk about?" is much more meaningful then, "You married the wrong man and I'm sick of seeing what is happening to your life!" You know what I mean? Seriously though, there are a lot of immature people replying to this right now who are obviously not helping at all- just bringing you down. They're not important. Scope out the advice in this forum that you think is the most valuable and ignore the rest: there's too much negative ones! Good luck. I can tell you are a caring individual (for your cousin and for the things around you) and can stand up for yourself very well (as I've been reading! lol) Whatever happens, YOU will play your part and hold it well. It's nice to have that type of strength.

You weren't emotionally as far as she was ready to be. One day, when you're comfortable enough with someone and feel they are truly right, all sorts of doors will open in your heart: ones that can lead you to compliment or notice great things about them regularly, because they are right. If she wasn't right for you or not on the same page as you, feeling unable to give compliments is understandable. Just don't get down on yourself about it. It's crucial to have a positive view on yourself if you want to attract positive things in your life. And you're doing fine, I think , from the way you write and your tone of openness. You write clearly and are not at all scattered in your thoughts it seems. You seem like you might be pretty serious in real life, but there are probably sides of you most people don't see that takes love to release. That just makes you more special to get to know. So say it again! "I am a good person!" lol There are people in the world who would insult a girl before saying a compliment ever. There are people who hit, who get jealous, possesive and controling and who abuse. There are people who only want sex. There are people who only use others, like my dad's employee, Lee, once said about the lady he was living with, "Yeah, she's only pretty when I'm drunk. I just like the money she gives me- it's been helping me real good." (He said that in front of me when I was a little kid. I never forgot it.) In conclusion!- the way you are is fine and dandy compared to all that. There are deeper ways to communicate love than compliment giving. These are the most important and from what I've read, you seem able. ^_^

Last night, I prayed to God to wake me up at five this morning. I know- WEIRD prayer, but I was feeling desperate because I needed help getting up in the morning. I end up late for school and accidently leave things at home way too often. I don't know why- I feel like a responsible person. I just don't like waking up and dealing with the world around me. My homelife is quite messy so it really brings me down. Anyways, this factor of me becoming late for school really was hurting me. So, like I said, I prayed. This morning I had a nightmare sort of relating to Elaine. I used to be afraid of mirrors, afraid I'd see her, and anything with reflections/shadows...and so on. Anyways, I had a dream about me sleeping in a bed and sitting up straight- seeing a shadow figure standing in the corner of the mirror. I suddenly became like two people- too me's. I leaned close to myself to watch the self that was on my bed tremble in fear. Her/my eye's were pink and couldn't see right. I looked down and told her/me that she accidently dripped perfume in her eyes instead of contact solution. The scream that came out of my/her mouth was like, "Noooo!" and I thought I/me was overreacting...because I didn't think it could actually cause blindness. I then walked to my parent's room to see my mom's boyfriend falling out of the bed. Weird, I thought. Yet, as I moved around, I had this feeling like that shadow figure was following me, and out of the corner of my eyes I saw it standing behind me... in front of the other scared me who was still sitting with a shocked face on the bed. The point of all this is that this nightmare caused me to wake up exactly at five. I felt too scared to get up but also too scared to comfortably go back to sleep...and the realization hit me of how fast my fears could come back at anytime- I really wasn't healed. I laid there, not wanting to deal with anything, my thoughts dwelling on the dream and how the figure could be around me if I looked... still controlling my fear, my vulnerable self. Then this voice softly said in my head, "Don't think. Don't think. Just get up." So I did. ^_^

From what you've desribed about yourself, I think you are a great person. I don't think your lack of compliment giving is a problem you have. You need to be comfortable and farther in a relationship with someone to start. That's okay. You do a lot of great things and I love cuddle on couch and kiss on forehead guys much more than phony charmers who go, "Ah, you have beautiful eyes!" I think you are down to earth because you are able to joke about yourself. You are humble and can't really relate to those who aren't humble (but rather arrogant). That's not a bad thing. YOU don't need compliments so you also dont feel the need to give them. Until you are truly commited at least. That's what I think.

My dad's girlfriend, Elaine, died from brain cancer about two years ago. Last year, I thought she was haunting me. It was weird and sad; I had many scary dreams. Now I'm gaining peace though. I always will, however, miss the time period that she was alive, when we existed together in this world. Our relationship was rocky so I felt a lot of guilt after she died and my dad remarried very fast...so it's all been hitting me...slowly, subtly over time. But I'm getting better. She had a son named Tanner, a little boy. I think about him all the time. ^_^

Your business is to support your cousin. It's not your job to be picking apart things about her life or even nosing around. Just let her know that you're there for her. That's the greatest thing you can say. Judgements won't help her. You can't help her. She has to help herself. I'm sure she's a big girl...even if not as mature as you. I'm also sure things go on behind closed doors that you don't know about- how he treats her and so on or what is causing the job struggles. Her husband is what she wants and that you need to respect. When it comes to your life, make your own choices and do what you think is right for yourself. You wouldn't want others doubting what you do so don't doubt her. As humans, that respect is necessary to give. You wouldn't really want to be what triggers her to secondguess her marriage. Brighten her day. Don't analyze it.

I doubt the real problem here is your lack of ability to give compliments. Compliments and smiles are tough to push out of oneself so when we cross paths with someone able, it is refreshing to receive from them. But not all can do it themselves. It doesn't take a skill. It takes noticing people, little things about them and pointing it out with your words. The problem is that you're pressuring yourself to be more charming and better than you think you are. Your girlfriend obviously had insecurities. I dont fish or ask for compliments from people and I'm probably younger than your girlfriend. thereforeeee, she was immature and needed help. Compliments are not something to demand or even expect. They are given from a feeling of a good will towards other human life- like I said, when you notice things about someone... and like that about that person. Self-consciousness stems from being too aware of ourselves and not directing our focus enough on other things. If you were totally into some girl and everything about her- including the way she looks- (rather than living a lot in your thoughts, live in the moment and lose yourself in it)- you'd be more open with compliments because you'd be noticing more. I don't think you have a problem. You're just making this a problem. there's no need to. I think people can survive without compliments all the time (and even you have)! It's intimacy and acceptance that we all really strive for (compliments dont create that, only partially express them. Actions, in my opinion, speak louder than words. If you treated your girlfriend good, then she has no reason to be picking fights with you. You deserve better- trust me)

Falling asleep As the stars weep Mourning the night for you Tossing and turning Hurting but learning so much I want to undo Alone with my thoughts heart in a knot I can't believe what happened to you Alone with my faults Alone with my doubts I wish I could have some clues Where are you going? Why aren't you here? Did God take you away To set me free? is it because of I, of me that your soul's in darkness Taken away So early in this life Away from your son Death came at fast flight And the last time I saw you You stared at me sad Watching my hands As I pulled away from your bed A hospice you slept in Ready to die We pretended you weren't Afraid you'd cry I went to the dance With my dress on Supposed to have stopped by To show you what it looked like But I could never show There was no one to go to You weren't there anymore And it took a few years To finally hit me My dad was remarried I look around at my new family Of his wife's Wondering where you were Why your little boy, Tanner, was also away I looked around at the scene And became so afraid But there was no one to tell No one to help I started screaming Inside and out

It made me realized that I am being listened to. My faith in God has gotten me through a lot. Read this post: At the end of the day, I'm tired and my brain feels like mush. Today, I had a debate to do about oppressive govt. versus no govt. (which is more desirable?) and the one thing I feared came true: I did not know how to align and organize each point. I basically made a fool of myself and got only an average grade. People exchanged confused expressions as they listened to me. As I sat back down in my seat, smirking nervously about my slipups, I apologized to my partner, "I sucked. I'm sorry." He just said, "It's okay" and sighed. I looked down at my hands in front of me and felt like screaming at him... because he didn't help me or support me at all. In a way, he wrote me off. He did this often beforehand when I tried to ask for his help about the debate while we were each preparing our sides. After the whole of the debate was over, I was still wondering about how I did and I was frantically searching in my mind for an answer, an image of what I looked like. So I said outloud, laughing lightly at myself, "How bad did I do?" And no one answered me! they just all looked away and carried on in obtaining their stuff for their next class. My insides were tripping over themselves as I left and I just felt so vulnerable and shoken up. This whole time I realized that God was with me. There was some sort of strength moving my feet forward. I realized that God will not make perfect or easier my life. But He will carry me through it and in the end, it's only me and this higher force of consciousness to fall into that will keep me safe. It doesn't leave me. It's here now.

After school today, I decided to lay down on the couch and take a nap because I was feeling extremely depressed and I looked out my window to watch some clouds that were slowly going by. I was thinking a lot about God and the meaning of life because.. It seemed that neither was there. From a quiet tone to a slightly louder shout, I started saying, "God. God! GOD!" and even, "Jesus Christ!" and then silence. Then I said, "I NEED HELP! I need to hear your words. Talk to me, do something. Be in my life. I need help. I'm hurting, God...and I don't know why." I wanted to let out my emotions but they were so still inside of me. I couldn't cry or force tears so I decided to shut down and sleep. The dogs were barking outside and annoying me so I went upstairs to my bedroom and shut the door and in this closed room, it was darker. I turned away from this window this time. Different thoughts went through my head as I cradeled myself and wondered about God. Suddenly, two male voices sounding exactly the same aligned themselves as it was said, "Words of the Father" into my ears. My attention was caught by this but I let it go, thinking that I was just tired and falling into a dream or something. If it did mean anything, I figured just that I should read the Bible or realize that God was with me. It didn't seem enough of an answer if it was one... so I let it go. Then, after my mom came home and woke me up, I decided to come to the public library to check my emails and do some school stuff. While I was looking through my inboxs, the words "Words of the Father" stuck out to me. It was the topic to a daily devotional sent by link removed and I clicked on it. Astounded by the "coincidence", I sat there and read it. Here's what it says: December 11, 2006 "Words of the Father" by John Fischer “Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing …” Words. We do so much in words. We hear sermons and read books and attend seminars and get all excited when someone says something in a way we haven’t heard before. And we get upset when someone says it in a way we think is wrong. We judge a person’s commitment or lack of it by his or her words. We rush to the store or jump online when new words come out. We are people of many words. Imagine if God had chosen to come to us in the form of words only. Then following him would be a factor of how well you could read or take notes. And the keepers of the words would hold all the cards. But he came in the flesh, or as John put it, “The Word became flesh.” (John 1:14) Later in his first letter, John expanded on that, saying that he was the Word of life that they heard and saw and touched. It was Christ’s physical presense that sealed it for them and for us all. Even still, some prefer to stay immersed in words – their spirituality a factor of how well they can take notes. Imagine the disciples at the cross pulling out their Palm Pilots to take down Christ’s words as he died. That’s what would happen if words were everything. But Christ’s presense transcended words. Those who followed him experienced him. They heard, saw, and handled the word of life in human flesh. And because of that they were able to observe Jesus as well as listen to him. And my guess is that what he showed them stuck with them more than what he told them. They heard him talk about serving each other, but they watched him wrap a towel around his waist and wash their feet. They heard him say that he came not to be ministered unto but to minister, and then they watched him spend himself on the crowds and the needs of everyone who came to him. They heard him tell them to remember him and what he did on the cross, and then served them bread and wine so they would have something tangible to remember him by. The Word of the Father appeared in the flesh and his name was Jesus, and today, our human existence has taken on hope. We can hear and see what he did in his earthly life, and trust his Spirit to give us the power to follow in his footsteps, deny ourselves, and serve those around us as he did. May we be the fulfillment of the peace and goodwill the angels sang about on the eve of his birth!

I tried fixing it a little, aligning it more specifically with my personal experiences rather than just acknowledging them. I just want someone to know how I feel inside.

Now, that I'd like to see!

Wow. You know how after you read something you wrote a while after you wrote it...how you can perceive it differently? Well, I just read my poem and I find it pathetic. A poor attempt. It's too bad I'm too scared of plagarizers to post my good ones. Oh well!

Then, for those it is a comfort to, it has not been said in vain.

I got a little dramatic there lol, but it's great that you want to build your skills. You'll get better and better- that's what happens. It's great that you want to start because a lot never start things that they're interested in. THAT'S what I meant to say (a little less read into, huh? )

I lost a friend and It made me scared to ever Feel again. I lost my love For a lot in life cant stare straight Into eyes- I turn away And your eyes, although they sparkle blue I feel so lost inside myself So I just see through you too Into empty spaces, clouds around my head walking quicker through the haze Into the shadows of my dread I felt her over me, a ghost it seemed I felt the darkness come alive Crying out, feeling so haunted I haven't felt this way for a long time Since the day I learned you died Friendships seem so quick and over It's hard to participate today because something holding me down I hate that it's the fact I'm afraid Over my grief and have said my goodbyes Yet at the same time, i cant deny That on these faces around me These smiles I realize no one knows me now But I know myself so well I'm all I have It's kind of sad I know I know i have to get out Fast Maybe then I'll be happy image removed

I'm really happy for you, Siraf. This is a great step towards developing possibly even greater skills. I think you will grow your skills and they will become amazing. It think it's so good that you are putting your time into something that pleases you and inspires you. Even though there are a lot of experienced members on deviantart, those with true love or even like for something are few and far between.. especially in this world.

send me the link!! send me the link!!

You know what? Nothing's as simple as I just wrote it off to be. Not even labels or real behaviors. People change and grow in each moment. Some of us are scared, some of us just wait for love to suddenly happen, others put it off and don't really look or some just don't care as much in the moment. I don't think in life we HAVE to be with someone to be whole. We don't have to join together. We don't have to do any of that. But relationships spice up life, make it seem more complex and more meaningful than it would be without them. That's why it's important to decide for yourself what you want and how you go about getting it. Every person is different as well as similar. Some people are tougher than others to get through to or close to. Either way, it's understandable to desire romance and love. Otherwise, we'd all be alone and feel alone. Being with another gives us hope.

I like the strategy of just paying special attention to someone firstly before you tell them how you feel. Get into chatting with them so that when you admit your feelings, it doesn't seem too random (and they aren't COMPLETELY caught off guard). This only works though if you do eventually (and not after TOO long) admit your feelings. I'd hate the feeling of liking someone and being so close to them all the time while NOT taking the initiative. I hate it when other people do that too. No one wants that or likes that. All it takes is one person to open the door into something more, something deeper. It could work out or maybe not work out, but you shouldn't be scared of that.

Everyone makes assumptions and misinterprentations. I wish, as a girl, I could go up to a guy and just tell him how I feel, what I mean by what I do straightaway. But the fear of rejection even guides me away from that. This leaves, for most of us, only flirting and the use of body language to show someone how we feel about them and even that can be scary. The only way some girls get over the fear of flirting is by making it an insignificant habit that they have in every relationship. Basically, a girl will flirt with a guy friend as well as a guy she is interested in at the same time. That way, if one takes it the wrong way or rejects such actions, she can simply prove or say, "Oh, I do that with everyone!" (meaning: "You're not as special to me as I made you think" or "I thought you were special but since you rejected me, I'll pretend like that's not what I meant to show. That way we can just go back to normal.") Or they will openly say to everyone that they think they are special, meaning that AND treating them that way. This is the type of person to go through lovers in only a few weeks, dating one after the next. These people are scared of commitment and will only give love as much as they can without too much attachment. That or the relationship will end once their insecurities come to surface. Then, there are the girls (and GUYS too!!) who will like someone but will absolutely NOT look their way or walk anywhere near them because of their fear. They care about that person's judgment the most. This causes them to never allow that person to get the chance to see or know who they are. Lastly, there are the girls (AND GUYS) who treat everyone as just a friend and no more, despite gender or how they really feel about them. They will treat the person they love as just a friend. They will treat the person they get turned off by as a friend. That's because they are scared of leaving their comfort zone, but also of showing who they really are (to anyone) In conclusion, a lot of love is ruled by fear. That's the world for you. Hopefully, you will choose to be the person who is not afraid of any open doors or challenges, but remains slightly cautious nonetheless.

Sometimes I meet a person and have feelings. Later on, I still have them and dont know why. I can make it fade if I want or let it grow into an infactuation. It's the same with love- it can be let go or grown. That depends on you... not divine intervention. A soulmate is someone who feels like they are you. When you touch their skin or look into their eyes, a magic feeling rises. When you press hands together, your heart may start to beat faster than it did before. But that is the mere mystics of uniting body and mind which affect you inside. What anything means in this life is what you make it mean to you. In a lot of ways, that's what I think we're here for.

(d'oh what am I supposed to say to dat?)

moment of peace: "hack! You're...choking....mee..."