blueangel

That's because they're true. I've started to see a pattern with me. When I lack self expression through poetry, I can't move on from things. That poem was my little goobye. Today that teacher took me to a room to make up a test in. It was a room with a desk for just one person. I stood there, looking down at my test on the desk and he stood in the doorway. Then he said, "I hope you do well on this test" or something to that effect. I looked up and nodded, in a joking/playful tone, I replied, "Thanks. I appreciate that." And I laughed. ...Then he left and I was sad. LOL Also that test was tough!

Just expressing a passing, fading infactuation LOL

I'm not going to pretend I don't love you Because the days I see you I do And they lead me to my greatest memories Even though we hardly see each other Or even do you truly speak to me, A connection in my soul is firing Up and my heart feels the slightest tug Just from the very observation of what cannot be true And that simply is That because of where we are I can never be with you. I can never be with you. But I'll still love you from afar. It means a lot to me when you smile and look in my eyes When you give me another chance to complete what I need with time A good teacher, a smart aleck man- intelligent and sexy You're someone who seems to understand No I can't have him anyway I'm just a pupil who will fade away And though precious moments exist in the past There's nothing I can do to make anything last But instead let these feelings mend I let them go I let them go I see you and they fill me up again.

I'm calling my book series the 'with God series.' And this next 'with God' book is Friendship with God, which comes out in November. This books challenges us to bring about the end of 'better' on this planet. link removed No life is pointless! And I tell you that no life is hopeless. Fear and guilt are the only enemies of man. --Neale Donald Walsch, Friendship With God How do I discover who I am? It is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation. Do not be who you thought you were, be who you wish you were. --Neale Donald Walsch, Friendship With God - How can I change behaviours that have become habitual, or character traits that have become ingrained? - By asking yourself one simple question: Is this Who I Am? --Neale Donald Walsch, Friendship With God There are two five-word magic questions. These questions, asked at the right moment can propel you forward in your own evolution faster than you might ever imagine. The questions are: Is this who I am? What would love do now? --Neale Donald Walsch, Friendship With God If you require a certain result in order to be happy, you have an Addiction. If you simply desire a certain result, you have a Preference. If you have no Pre-ference whatsoever, you have Acceptance. You have achieved mastery. --Neale Donald Walsch, Friendship With God "You must be willing to suspend what you imagine you already know about God in order to know God as you never imagined" - Page 65 "...true self love disappears the ego, it does not enlarge it. Put another way, the larger your understanding of Who You Really Are, the smaller your ego" - Page 77 "Confusion is the first step toward wisdom. Folly is thinking you have all the answers" - Page 77 "...if you do not believe that you create your own reality, then you will experience your reality as something you did not create . . . proving that you create your own reality" - Page 82 "Laughter is good for the soul" - Page 84 "Do not seek to forget your past, seek to change your future" - Page 85 "Every decision you make—every decision—is not a decision about what to do. It's a decision about Who You Are" - Page 88 "The secret of life is not to have everything you want, but to want everything you have" - Page 109 "Nothing inhibits your loving each other more than the thought that you have something to lose" - Page 168 "Live your life for a new reason. Understand that its purpose has nothing to do with what you get out of it, and everything to do with what you put into it. This is also true of relationships" - Page 174 "Honesty is the highest form of love" - Page 180 "The less you need from someone, the more you can love them" - Page 184 "How can you need nothing from someone you love? By loving them not for what they can give you, but simply for who they are" - Page 185 "Reject nothing of the world, and no one in it. Yet while you are in the world, and the world is in you, remember that you are larger than it. You are the creator of it, for you are creating your own reality as surely as you are experiencing it. You are both the creator and the created" - Page 209 "Nothing happens in life by accident. Nothing. Nothing occurs in your life by chance. Nothing. Nothing takes place without producing the opportunity for real and lasting benefit to you. Nothing at all. The perfection of every moment may not be apparent to you, yet that will make the moment no less perfect. It will be no less a gift." - Page 241 image removed

I'm glad you liked it, man!

Going up and down Each day, I feel a little different And the way that I behave I'm free from my restraints somehow I've stopped the contemplating I choose to build my life with each moment Because there's no one to change but me The future I'll let be And I... I am doing better on this day Not going for a great poem Just capturing this moment with you The reader reading these words I am no different than you: People are beautiful If this you observe And as a child I was always doing And will until I leave this earth The face is like a painting The eyes are two stars In which the mind reveals itself It takes you far into the heart You start to find as you go down further Deeper into their soul They are as young as they are old Time has gone by, most feel sold Waiting to revive, but No one has truly died Even when their heart has told them so. Rocking back and forth No longer my self comforting ways I am no longer the only touch I get I feel others through the days Just like me, don't know what to do with life We are all confined In these buildings, built to last our lifetime But the soul, it can't be touched Which means it cannot break We begin to realize How much it is that we can take I wish we'd realize how much we can change And the choices we make from the lonliness Are the factors of our strength From mistakes it's never too late, I'd say to you, my friend Too still add something good to earth Even on one's own dark death bed: Through a voice, a whisper, even a sound In which, your love surrounds all else It rises from the ground Through the extension of the grass Trying to reach the sky, because A single, single loving thought Can truly never die. And so live to learn the reason why Create the how with what you do now Replace your fear with faith, don't pout, don't compain Because oh, listener, I'm here, also scared But the stress disolves, the silence resolves and I just wander away from the maze Still I don't try hard to contemplate my pain I just whisper hello to my heart on those days

It's not a strong faith, it's a strong will to choose faith each time over time as the years go by. I don't understand everything yet. My faith comes and goes like the wind everyday with my moods and my depression. But I fight to hold on to it, because only with faith am I happy. It gives me a deeper kind of joy, the "I'm realizing I'm alive!" type of joy where I can go outside and stare at the trees in the dark of night and then at the sky where I feel alone with the universe. In that moment, I want to learn. I want to be everything I can be. I want to fulfill my potential inside of this world.

Sometimes I have trouble praying. Like, something blocks me even if nothing is distracting me. Sometimes it's hard to pray. But if I say, "God, help" I know that force recognizes my call whatever the force of God truly may be in context of our everyday lives. And with that knowledge, I hold on.

Yes, I first saw this when I was thirteen. It's cool that it's still circulating among people online. It's very poetic, though there are exceptions I think to some things it says.

I think I meant holding back from expressing ourselves, our opinions, our struggles to the world around us, to the people in our everyday lives. Expression is where innovative thought and solutions in society come from. Conversations become without substance if without real expression, and so moments less meaningness. We have everything we need inside us to make a moment meaningful. Conversations without substance= less of a life around us with substance, because it feels less of a meaningful life. Our choices then also become less meaningful. Though, not every time... I read Conversations with God. I find it just okay, but a long time a go, it opened my eyes up to a different way of living- just with goodness, and I felt I had an understanding of the world that was easier on me than before. It was very healing.

link removed by Immaculee Ilibagiza link removed by Bruce H. Lipton These two are my favorite books. The second helps you reason through what faith is and what it creates. I hightly recommend it. It's what I live my life by. Perhaps it was not God who was shown to you that day, but Man and man's power to deceive and manipulate. Man's ablility to choose wrong over right. I once heard that when we feel negative, we pull negative things to us. Yet, also, if we're innocent, we're more likely for the darkness to rain on us because the innocent are honest and vulnerable, just what the dark patterned energies of this world want to twist and twist and twist. This makes the light harder to see and there's a purpose to that. We're not here for just an easy, light free trial. We're here to discover we have the ability to turn negativity into positiveness- use your story to help others and that could be a God given purpose right there, for there are people who are abused by caregivers, teachers, or for young ones- peers. Try to survive in an impoverished country full of hate and crime. It is these things we have to change. I suggest therapy for you. You are right to be angry, but at whom? The man, not the entire universe of God for that is just the sea of which we live in. The flow is left in everyone's hands. Know what I mean? I'm sorry you had to endure such a thing. I did too once- abuse of some form. I hope this man is still not in your life, and that you realize his soul must be a miserable state for him using God to pull in a weak, lonely heart. This happens in churches, in hospitals around the world- someone out there has to be greedy for something, and so, they corrupt something else. Or someone. Life becomes more damaged if an individual allows bitterness to continue in their heart because soon they spread it, aware or unaware, they do to others they know or even don't know. That is not the way we must live or teach others to live. Life is confusing and random, and our emotions can copy this. However, life can also be influenced by our emotions because emotions lead to actions. I hope you find peace in therapy, but most of all, realize you must find it in yourself by yourself through heavy meditation and healthy expression and maybe someday, you will assign blame to this man and look no higher to where the blame should point. God has given us free will. Therein lies the danger- our own choices. No one is more dangerous than we are to ourselves, by the choices we make, by the thoughts we allow to grow deep within. The stars above, the trees, the grass are in movement with us and for us (scientists have said that the planets are aligned perfectly to protect earth from unsurvivable havoc or chaos within the universe- the likeliness of design in that case is very high and very sought to understand). I've once heard that God will protect us, but not from things we can ultimately handle. That, He will only help us through. I doubt you are convinced. Even that will take time.

Wow- I write a lot!!!!! I need to condense! I've gotta start doing that!!!

Also, pretend everything else you said is in quoted area because I'm trying to reply to all of it. When you said I might not be romantic or implied that I was young and naive, that stuck out to me and distracted me from the point. All I ask is that you don't make assumptions about who I am. If I assumed anything about you at all, sorry. I'm challenging, but take it all lightly- for I am also exploring my true thoughts. Anyways, It doesn't take living many years to know what loneliness, real loneliness, is. I have been naturally interverted and depressed all my life. This is the first year that I've been happy, and I probably am niave, but it works for this time period of my life. No, I don't think I'm naive. I've learned a lot of things and have insights about other cultures that many don't. I don't think I'm naive, although it is an insecurity of mine to seem so. You're right about God being omnipotent and all that other omni-stuff. He can fix our little problems. But that's not the main priority is what I mean. Sometimes we must forget about those problems in order to stop treating them like problems-to find deeper meaning. I just don't want not having a companion to distract you from being happy as you are right now. Maybe God isn't busy, but you have to consider that the world is and that there's a lot to transform. The consciousness of society is evolving and we are growing more and more intellegent.(as well as complex). I create my choices and actions, knowingly if they are right or wrong. If they are right, I am connected to God's will and He guides me if and when I take steps of faith. My whole life anymore is balanced on faith. I just can't make it right by myself. Too much is expected of me that right now, I can't handle. There's a lot of stress right now on me but I'm breathing and laughing through it. I hope you can do the same. I've traveled through a lot of darkness too, friend. Sometimes we have to be denied simple pleasures or great powerful pleasures like a romantic partner to learn something about ourselves...whether it be the depth of our own being discovered from our pain (which is an important truth), what is right when around so much wrong, and how to be strong when there's nothing reliable coming your way. I'm not suggesting you give up on looking- I think you should prepare for love coming your way. Act as if you know it will happen. Act as if you trust. But also acknowledge that the evolvement of the soul means sometimes going without. As Neale Walsh and other New Agers have said, "Ye must go WITHIN!" YOU SAID: We find purpose, I would say, in selflessness. It's okay to want, but not to be selfish to the extent that you fall into self pity. That is what I want to warn everyone of because there's no reason to be. We have everything we need inside us, a whole bunch of potential to be used! I'll use my potential for God. And I'll tell you if it changes in a few years cuz I doubt it will! (or so I hope!) Oh, about the soulmate thing- I said "what if?" just for you to consider. Because too many get lost in a fantasy about how their life is supposed to be rather to find fulfillment in how it already is> which I admit, is hard to do. Impossible? No. Hard? Yes. It isn't worth wasting the meaning of these moments right now for something you dream of for the future, for your life, when it's not up to you to think always of what could be, what should be but to create and choose and live faithfully towards God in the days that we have, in these days that are never promised. That is what I believe.

And who are you to demand that He does? What, you deserve it? Says who? Just you. That's not your purpose- that's not why you 're here. Serve with your whole heart. Stop holding onto these resentments. Life is tough and it's for learning. There are worse things than "my love has not yet come." What if we don't have soulmates? God will give you what you're ready for, or what you need. Right now, he's giving you what you need. You may not see it yet or for a while, but that does not matter as much as- God: "Are you quitting on me now?" Look around. There are things to do. People to help. People to hear. People to heal. Countries to heal. There are impoverished countries full of suffering and American troops in Iraq invading the lives of cillivians to fight such a chaotic cause. I'm sure people are crying out to him in different languages. I'm sure blood is crying out to him from the dirt ground. Perhaps He is busy. It's not up to you to say that he shouldn't be. You must align your heart with God's will, God's fight, humanity's fight and really SEE. Don't close your eyes to what he demands of you because you are still waiting to have a loved one when there are people who may not be love interests around you whom you could still love. So hear God now.

You know what I wish? I wish everyone had the kind of faith that I did. It falters, it fades, but it keeps coming back. Now I have a resilience that I never had before. And I've realized all along that it's a choice. It's always been my choice. It's always been yours. If everyone lived differently, this world would be so much easier- if people loved unconditionally and were unafraid to reach out or make loving gestures even to strangers, then I wouldn't be afraid anymore. I would stop repressing myself. I would stop hurting because someone out there would have a shoulder for my head to rest on. But no, there is darkness because our souls must evolve. That's why we're here people. There can be no other way. (for now) Everything has a design and I see the patterns of that beauty in my own life. White and black string in and out of my soul and I'm constantly fighting for one side of me to win over the other. But I can't win. I can't make my life work by myself and after going through many traumatizing experiences, I have finally learned that. My own darkness was what it took to bring out my own light. Finally, one day, I believed. After traumatic events, my life has actually gone back to bland and normal- and it's actually harder to keep my faith in these cirumstances because the fight to survive isn't as strong. I eat, I drink, I shop, I chat- and my past has faded away. But I remind myself when I get a chance to myself. I remind myself what there is to believe in and how it transformed this girl. I only wish it could transform so many others. I wish it transformed my parents- then I'd have them. I wish it transformed my sorrows- then I'd lose those. Then, finally, again, one day, I stopped wishing and realigned my choosing. It's the only thought inside my head these days- "God be with me, help me through this second, this moment, these years." And I choose to follow the open windows he provides me, even if it means crawling and scrapping for the goodness of me to come out. I'll crawl and scrape, I'll fall and bleed and break. I'm not afraid of anything anymore and that the type of happiness which comes from this nourishes my broken spirit. I don't need anything but the hands in front of me, I don't need anything but to be alive. And I am here. You are here. Through the dark, it's important to notice that. We're all going through this together, everyone in the world. There is no reason to be silent. So I wish you, reading, would speak as you are and speak up for your heart, if it's broken or if it's torn. Or even if it's okay. The habit of holding back- it plagues and confines us to shallow goals, and wants. that's all I have to say for today (yeah, I wrote a novel)

Understandable. Sorry to hear that. I don't pray for myself though. I pray to align my heart with God's. That works. I've been through horrid sorrows too- loss of my stepmom, whole group of friends, my little brother, horrible period of panic attacks and nightmares... but believing and having faith is the only tool I need to get through these dark human struggles. Otherwise, I'm lost. And so are you. We are all lost in some ways. But faith no matter what makes it better... and this life goes by with less worrying about the big things, and more thankfulness for the little things that I have. Hope that helps. I don't blame you for not praying anymore if it hasn't worked for you. You see, when I pray, when I live, my daily mantra is "I move for you, God" because I have nothing else- not in spite of that. At the end of the day, I laugh at the mistakes around me and my losses. I have song in my soul and most of all, I take care of myself with tenderness and I tell myself, "I will never leave me." You have to find something to hold to in order to go on. This life is long and tiring and strange and random and silent. Believing in God changed that for me. So I have hope now, no matter what happens, I know I'll find a way out. There's always a way out of cirumstances, there's always something new to try. Good luck to you.

You must be whole before you can love a person wholey. Then, once you can love a person wholey, you can make it something holy by mutual agreement. Then, they do something unholy that breaks your heart- you are left alone, back to fixing yourself for another to come. But should living life just be an enjoyment of another individual(s) or should it be more about experiencing and exploring yourself? I think when people forget how to express/experience/explore/grow themselves, they lose those that they love just as life's simple process- you can't get anywhere without learning some lessons first, and that applies to every part of life. But anyways...Hooray for singleness!

I actually agree with this. It doesn't matter what you say (only at first) except if you make a LOT of eyecontact. Make sure your eyes are smiling. The most important thing is to carry yourself with confidence whether you are introverted or extroverted. How you carry yourself displays true mystery because girls then wonder, "What makes him so comfortable with himself?" and they will really want to know, whether they act on that wondering or not. It is a rare thing for a person to smile often and hold themselves high no matter what. Quite important to note about being mysterious! Lastly, I used to be an introvert and the thing about introverts is that we can sometimes go too far inside our minds and become extremely analytical...and this paralyzes our outward actions. My solution formed slowly and it came from having to learn to just speak my mind even if I fear my mind be too deep for people at times, too silly, or awkward or stupid. The less you care about how you sound, the less you hold yourself back. It takes putting yourself out there. You'll find that to do this is simpler than it seems. Pick whatever pops into your head, whatever thought you think of while someone else is speaking- however deep or shallow your thought seems- and voice it. Pick a memory, pick an opinion or voice your reaction. Often us introverted people don't let our thoughts out but that's what it takes to let people in. Often, we are pushed back by a barrier of fear that we have built ourselves. You have to disallow yourself to be so self-controlled and in your body language and conversation, relax and let go.

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Reread my post. I edited that! I completely read your post wrong. That's what happens when I skim too fast. I am sorry!!!

Even so, here we are today and struggles still get in the way of us each truly being happy and full of love. I think it's because we live in a society of separateness (which is easy to do since there's such a large population on this earth) and that comes from the "Every man for himself" survival mode we as humans reverted to back in those caveman days that you mentioned. Moments that I make long eye contact with my boyfriend, when he looks down on me with a lightness to his spirit and happiness reaching out through his touch... it just makes me realize how real each human soul is and how unreal the cold way most of society lives: untouched, unexpressed... and sometimes, skin changed to plastic as a way of chasing perfection. But perfection isn't in self control or control of others. It doesn't come from school or jobs or achievements. The fact is, it never comes. Many chase after it nonetheless. It's like such a huge trend this day and age. Love touches our highest level of consciousness because it cancels out fear, brings a person to accept themselves, and leaves a person healed of many things when deeply felt. Yet what creates love? It is what we selflessly give and that is what creates the world and makes it a better place. What an amazing ability to tap into that we humans have. So much will always try to suppress it though. We have to fight through. Kindness can conquer anything and that's one thing I live by.

Do what the moment calls for. Sometimes, when it comes to dating and love, I wish to tell hesitent people to just plunge ahead and see what happens. Have fun with life. Give it a try. Laugh if she doesn't understand then write down the translation and slide it over, smiling all the while. If she says no, you could say, "Well, I was hoping for a Wei Wei! Whoever you choose is a very lucky guy." And that could be the basic ending dialog

Why not? It's a creative attempt. I'm sure she'll be caught off guard...in a good way. Hopefully, she says yes. That part is the chance you are taking. If she likes you back, how you ask it won't affect her decision. So make it memorable even if she rejects you.

Get yourself out of it. It's not the end of the world. It's the end of many things, yes, but never the end of the world when one relationship comes to a faded end. Edit: I read your post wrong, sorry. I thought you said you left a dog, as in a bad man. That explains my insensitivity because I believed that you should be glad to leave. lol I'm sorry! I do idiotic things like that sometimes. If that's your dog in your avatar, he/she is adorable and you're right, this is not an easy loss. I had to put down a dog of mine too last year and I was in the room while it happened. I cried for days. There's no easy way to get over the loss of a loved one, especially man's best friend. ^^ Good luck to you. I'm sure the spirit of your pet will never really leave. And I'm sure you made him/her feel very loved. Perhaps your dog will leave, complete... complete as much as a dog can be. Again, I'm sorry if I unnerved you above with my silly misunderstanding.

My prayers are never answered as I expect them too. Nothing ever happens to me the way I expect it too. Still, life is slow and there are lessons to learn- I want to be bigger than life! I want to have a shining spirit and bright personality that touches everyone's hearts. But I guess all I can ask for right now is to pass eleventh grade. lol