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hi luciana... reading ur post makes me think about myself... ive been with my bf for about 3yrs now... last year.. just last year we had major problems... a lot of fights.. a lot of break-ups to make-ups... during an intense break up.. he began seeing his sons mother again. oh my God did that hurt. after him basicallly lying about it and a lot of crying hurt and sincere reconciliation... i still want so bad to punch this woman in the face a couple of times... (all in my head though ) bottom line... i know it HURTS.. but its MY issues.. when i accepted his apology and when we went through our own form of therapy... i was back and forth... always uncomfortable.. always suspicious.. till i was depleted of insecurity. i had to make a choice. i had to get over it and move forward....because i want to be with him and in my heart i believe him and will put effort into our relationship.. and no more effort into the negative emotions i feel for this other woman. ur gonna have to try and channel how u feel constructively... im still new at it since this new approach is just recent.. but i can tell that its working... i can also tell u that he's probably tired of hearing about it..esp. if he has decided to be committed to u. nothing but ur way of thinking along with TIME, will help in this situation... take some therapy for urself also.... that will help u in dealing with what ur dealing with.. u can speak freely without having to worry about what he thinks... good luck[/u]

but thats the thing.... im almost so convinced that monogomy is a myth... i think everyone cheats at one point or another... and those who say they dont just havent gotten caught yet. if its not u.. then its ur partner.... im so cnynical about this

lol do u know how many teachers/student-teachers had a crush on me? also... to u men/teachers out there.. 18yo's + arent dumb nowadays... u think that when high school girls wore short skirts and revealing tops that it was JUST for the other high school boys?? lol they were for the hot teachers too ya know but um yeah, men are men.. they cant help it. sex is on their mind like every 3 seconds. and the fact that u ARE 18.. wow.. can u say fantasy galore? lol its kinda twisted but females have a lot more manipulation powers than they think... the smart ones know what i mean

how old is he?? also.. wow be careful.... i remember being 18 and attracting older men... hindsight is always 20-20. dont get attached and do NOT take him seriously.. play hard to get if u have to but dont let him take advantage of u. do u know how many teachers fantasize about their hot students? and ur over 18 too? wow, he knows what hes doing so be skeptical.. but do enjoy the attention!!!! hey.. again.. dont fall for him k? keep telling urself.. "he's just the hot teacher.. nothing more" i have a feeling ull pursue this if he does u ever saw Mona Lisa's Smile? im going to bed! its 1AM here in nyc 8)

lolol i have a feeling he probably has a crush on u too. be careful. u could get him fired. wait till after high school. lol

hey sea... when u say "young" what age range is that? im dating someone and i have a little girl also... he has tons of porno on his comptuer and the youngest he goes is the ones that say "teen queens" 18ish or so. these porno queens dress and act young but u can tell that their of age.... if the girls on his pc look like pre-teens 11 yrs olds etc. etc... then theres a problem... ive been dating my porno addicted moron for about 3 yrs now. porno doesnt bother me at all cuz i watch them with him.. but i know if i saw some weird things that interfered with my gut feeling... id have to bail

if it helps.. guys usually take quicker to cum during a blow job session that actual sex. once u penetrate.. watch out... during sex.. my bf will cum in about ohhh.. maybe 20 minutes or so... a blow job (and a sore jaw) takes him about 35 minutes.. with the last 15 minutes will be him claiming that he's going to cum..yeah right...

yeah its like a step below good sex (notice i underlined good... sometimes id rather masturbate than deal with a lousy sex session) the reason ur so tired afterwards is becasue of the chemicals ur body is releasing.. its like adrenaline.. u get like a physical rush and its intense.. then upon orgasm.. u release... then u want to like roll over and snore.

u mean u actually WANT it to stop? holy God, thank goodness im in a serious relationship because if I had a gorgeous teacher and had a totally wet dream about him... i'd totally make a move... but then again im a tad bit older... honestly.. u probably wont get it out of ur head for awhile. if u want to make it stop because ur too embarrassed in front of him, just picture him doing something that u would find gross... picture him picking his nose and pulling out a booger fit for an asteroid comparison. wet dreams about a hunky teacher is totally normal. enjoy it and hey, use it as your next stimuli to a masturbation session

yep... a couple of times today. in fact, since my boyfriend isnt here i think ill rub myself to sleep its better than nyquil i tell ya

im in good old NYC.... ive suggested counseling.. mediation... all that in the beginning... no response. it got to the point where i tape most of our conversations and have to bring an eyewitness with me when we do child exchange (Lord i hate talking about her like some sort of package...) end of june is the last date for court.. ive been back and forth for about 3yrs now in court... so im praying every night and reading as much as i can about court custody cases... tonight i just couldnt take it. i almost broke down crying in front of her... i guess ur right. theres nothing i can do but do my best untile she gets stability in her life

turn ons: love my breasts, thighs and lips to be kissed sometime during or in the middle of sex.... oooh!! oooh!! and to be whispered in my ear about how good im making him feel...oh my GOD does THAT ever make me grip the sheets!!!!!! turn offs: ...when he nudges my head with a stupid grin towards his crotch...and expects that to be the only form of foreplay.... when his nutsacks smell... eww...and a man who is absolutley silent while performing!!! i hate that..

the love of my life.. my daughter just turned 4 two days ago... i cant fit all this in... just know that im in the middle of a court case.. long one.. which will be over (hopefully) in the next month.. father and i have been court ordered to do a one week one week visitation.., for example. he gets her sun 7pm through sun 7pm one week.. and i get the next.... we alternated... this was supposed to be for a few months... trial... but the father wanted it this way for like 2 years... i argued and said no... that was last year.. by him acting like he was about to settle the case.. everytime we thought he would settle he would back out... which... wasted court time.. and got us another hearing date 3-4 months later..... he did this 3 times.... its been about a year since this one week one week thing.. my daughter.. on the outside.. seems to be adapting.. but on the inside she's not. he doesnt get it.. he thinks its like a game. look.. he loves her he does.. but i dont think he undertsands. plus his wife.. oh my God...she makes it worse. she pretends my daughter is hers...to the point where my daughter asked why she has two mommys? and im mommy one and the other is mommy two... she was 3 yrs old when she asked this. anyway.. i think theres been some verbal abuse towards me in front of her.. in a sort of subtle way.. but kids arent stupid... the baby picks up and i notice it in her behavior.. the father and i.. no communication.. its terrible.. completely deteriorated.. to the point where he lies and pretends he doesnt have a cell phone.. instead he makes me call his wife or his MOTHER in case of emergency....i confronted him but he denies it.... im TRYING my damn best in all of this to pretend in front of the baby that everything is cotton candy and popcorn.... she doesnt need to know everything now.. he had a birthday party for her and didnt tell me about it.. she was crying and crying tonight asking me why i wasnt at her party... i didnt know what to tell her. instead i just told her that things are a little different.... i dont know what to do. due to the sensitivity of the court case im afraid to talk to him... he's already accused me of being a drug addict and the person im dating my DRUG dealer... is he for real? i took a test.. im clean.. i dont do that garbage.. i even had my boyfriend take one also.. he's clean. he even tried to say i ABUSE my daughter... that was thrown out also... because he accuses me of abuse and drugs... the day before he leaves her with me while he goes on a 2week vacation.... im going crazy.. im scared for my daughters well being... im confused with how to handle her also.. my boyfriend tells me that my daughter "runs" me... i cant help but to feel as if i have to handle her with gentle gloves.. i feel like she's going through a huge ordeal and i have to be careful as how i react and treat her since she's just learning to express herself.... her speech had been slowed and her tantrums are out of control at times... ...he's 32 and stays with his mother and father and his two OLDER sisters and his wife in one house.. he's never had a place of his own and both of his cars.. a lexus truck and a lexus sc300 were both purchased by his mother....i know deep down (maybe?) he's an alright person... its just so hard to get through to him without his godzilla of a wife trying to scream at me all the time.. or his mother smiling in my face witing for me to turn so she can ram that knife in my back.. i feel like i need a psychologist.... thank you for even getting this far...

i talked to my mom over the phone, she called to say they got to their spot alright. my mom knows im having relationship troubles so i kind of asked her a hypothetical....and then spun it. i asked her if my papa were to ever cheat on her would she want to know? "she said it depended on the situation....." my mom confuses me at times.... brie background... parents married 25yrs... both make very good money.. and combined, its even better... both are from very very old traditional backgrounds... my mom..very independent..smart... i think she's gorgeous... but she has a slight physical defect on her face that is strange to everyone else but my family....i see past it... my dad... ick... playboy of the year, handsome, charming... and i dunno... dependent on my mom. sometimes he acts like HE'S the woman of the house..whining...begging (playfully) for mama's attention.... i will wait for my dad to get home...then just show him the txt msgs and ask him what they mean... its funny the things u learn... i never noticed it before.. but NOW i DO notice that when the woman comes to the family parties, my dad will either go upstairs, go outside or leave with the other men to do something else...... it wasnt like that before. i remember even something that once when my daughter was playing with her...my DAD called my daughter away and asked if my daughter wanted to help him in the shed with something. i found it odd at first but thought nothing of it till now.... .....so many possible situations........ ill just wait

....i re-read my first post. i sounded a little.. umm... yeah... after some coffee... and a cigarette.. i havent smoked in over 6 years.... and i after i finished the cigaerette i rememebered why i stopped in the first place.... i know this woman.. my family has known her for almost.. i would say a good 15 yrs now.. she's divorced. im trying to think of all the innocent situations that the txt meant... ive heard of emotional cheating... regardless what happened btwn my father and this woman.. i felt like he did something wrong. if my father was innocent in his actions.. this idiot wouldnt be txting him all these things. im not going to tell my mother. i cant.. have u ever had an angel come down from heaven and just did nothing but good..? thats my mother. she doesnt deserve ever to be hurt. im not just saying that because she's my mother.. im saying that because its true. and now i have to hold my breath for two weeks... funny how things come out.. and funny the timing. im sitting here crying. before i confront anyone.. ill start with my dad when they get back... thx guys... sorry for sounding nutty..... caffiene helps...

You GOTTTAAA BEEEE KIDDINGGG MEEEE! My father gave me his old cell phone and i have been using it for the past 2 months now... out of the BLUE before my father and mother are leaving to go on vacation i get a txt. msg from a FAMILY FRIEND!!!!! NO i didnt misinterpret it!! it said "i can't take it that ur no lnger spking to me" "didnt i mean anything 2u?" "i nd 2 see u agn" At first i was about to call back and scream.. or drive to her and punch her in the face. How dare she???? SHE WAS EATING DINNER AT MY PARENTS HOUSE NOT MORE THAN 2 MONTHS AGO? I txtd her back and pretended i was my Dad. i said "well how long has it been now since we've been 2gther anyway 4u 2b so upset?" the *** responded "oh God, im srprsed u responded" "we hvnt spoke 4 months" "u alwys ignore me and it hrts to much" "i dont want people 2 suspect, its scandalous" (yes.. she used the words scandalous.. ) I didnt txt back and i cried and cried. Guys.. my mom and my dad.. are like.. the happiest couple everyone's ever saw. he always takes her on dates.. buys her things.. hell i HEAR THEM HAVING SEX ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they just left to go on a 2 week VACATION together CELEBRATING THEYRE 25TH ANNIVERSARY!!!!! i want to drive to this womans house NOW and BEAT THE EVER LIVING SNOT OUT OF HER!!!! SHE COMES TO THE FAMILY PARTIES.. SHE PLAYS WITH MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!! SHE SITS AT THE SAME TABLE WITH MY OWN MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT KNOW WHETHER TO KILL MY FATHER OR HER!!!!!!!!!!!! Theres NO NO NO NO NO NO way i can tell my mother!!! i CANT!!! Oh My GOD it would kill her!!!!!!! how can i hold this in for 2 weeks till he gets back??? It's already 10:15 now ET in ny.. i know where this woman works.. i swear im going to meet her at her job and confront her... oh WAIT.. she WORKS WITH MY FRKN DAD!!!!! fine.. ill just wait for her at her house. can someone please calm me down before i get arrested

sometimes... when someone u care about so much does something that u cant understand..u tend to come off the wrong way... i know ur age is a little rough right now for ur parents to handle because u seem like another planet to them. and esp. with what ur doing.. to them, its not normal. u have to ask urself why u do these things... almost all the time.. self hurting is because of some sort of emotional/mental stress of some sort. for ur parents to know that ur doing this.. they can only assume the worst and dont know how to express/handle it. rather than ur mother/father or ur boyfriend take u into their arms and hold u and tell u how much u mean to them.. they "flip" out. figure out why u do this.. and then tell urself truthfully wether its truly good for u... if its not...then pick the closest person to u that u know cares about u .. and talk about it to them. good luck

thank u everyone...i am trying... i chose to forgive.. and now i cant be half-assed about it. everyone was pretty helpful i know what he did was wrong.. hurtful and probably deserves me leaving....but ultimatley it IS my choice... first time.. shame on him... second time...shame on me here's to my deep breath..

Any advice how to..? It's been about 7 months since i found out.. the moron didnt confess.. the other girl called... after drama.. we decided to work things out.. he expressed remorse.. i know that the relationship at that point was downhill.. im still having trouble understanding... whatever the case is.. we're not married.. we plan to be.. but now.. everythings so confusing. at first, i was forgiving and accepting etc. etc. now.. since he has brought up marraige.. i feel like im a crazier than normal. i blow up at everything having to do with the person he cheated on me with.... (her being his sons mother doesnt help either..) look.. cheating hurt.. if he had just told me he was seeing someone else.. yes it would have broke my heart.. but finding out from someone else and realizing the person u were loving and the person who had been looking u in the eye the whole time..was a damn liar... that did more to my heart than hurt it.. it destroyed it.. and now im slowly...painfully.. putting it back together... i accepted it.. i took a deep breath and im willing to work on it. how do i stop from going crazy? i question him all the time... everytime her name is mentioned.. for any little thing... i have all these flashbacks then say some nasty things.. which cause us to fight... i cry alot by myself because i dont want him (or anyone) to see how much of a weakling i am... i have this "have to be strong" image that i want to maintain in order to keep sanity... we'll be ok for about a week.. or maybe a couple of days.. then ill blow up. does it ever end...? he's been trying.. showing regret, remorse.. expressing how much he made a mistake.. he loves me..etc. etc. it stil hurts.. every day it still hurts.. how much longer?

is it just me..? or does it sound like ur about to do something u may regret to the other man? this talk about animal instincts and such...... 1.) please.. do keep us updated 2.) let us know what ur lawyer says 3.) with all due respect.. grow some balls! that way.. a woman who truly deserves a man like u can have them..rather than this other woman u married

why are ur responses so negative? do u think forgiving is easy? if u can forgive someone so easily after a hurtful situation then i dare u to give me an honest example. in a perfect world some double standards are wrong but hello? genius, we live on earth...u know, where humans (amongst other things) dwell. in reality, i can accept what's only fair. but accepting it and feeling the emotions that go with it are two different things. its almost as if u are fatalistic. therapy doesnt just come with ur bank account. therapy comes in all forms and fashions. u seem pessimistic and quick to ridicule. noone here, including me is trying to belittle or demean your point of views. the last time i was told to "grow up" was when i was in grade school.

double standards isnt immature its psychological. cheating - how u act, react.. psychological. thinking of cheating is only human. actually doing it is weak. to err is frkng human.. to forgive takes a lot of damn therapy.

i agree with someguy *sigh* i mean.. although it hurts....maybe thats the reason why i took the butthole back. i love him and i know he loves me. i almost feel like the cheating was inevitable but why someone so close to home? i think the higest risk of cheaters are also what society calls to be attractive people.. which goes for both men and women. my boyfriend is attractive and i am considered attractive also... we both get good ammount of attention from the oppositte sex which heightens the risk of cheating. men and women have different values/ethics. ill admit that there have been plenty of cases where i could have been unfaithful but i chose not to. like what someguy69 said.... when a woman feels neglected the chances are higher. i agree with that 110%. i have come to the conclusion that women need attention and men are weak. someone close to me wrote a psychology paper once which had the thesis... "Love is a trick by mother nature that enables humans to mate" sometimes i look into that statement and just feel so synical about relationships.

just wanted to shout that out from the top of my cyber lungs!!!! venting and reading other point of views is so theraputical... thx to everyone participating!!!!!!

lol theres never a way to get rid of ur nervousness.... but sometimes girls think thats cute. since she asked u if u have a girlfriend that could be a good thing. girls usually dont ask this unless theyre interested. the trick is... find a common interest. then talk about it. i remember being ur age once and i had a HUGE MAJOR crush on this kid.....Matt...from a little eaves dropping and casual conversations with people he knew i found out he was into cars....hell.. i jumped at the opportunity and decided to learn something about cars quick. the more u know about ur target..the more room u have for a longer converstation. good luck!