itry

aahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! iwant to scream when i read this. a part of me is crying for ur wife..the other part is for ur lover and the other part is for YOU. #1 dont think ur wife doesnt know...she does. and ur right..she wont tell u or ADMIT that she does know because the reality of facing the hurt would be too much....but she does know... #2 ur lover..yes she loves u...in a very unhealthy way. she left her husband for u. and quite frankly..who cares if it took an hour to get a date with her through email. if it were me and i were in her situation, it would have taken less. when u love someone and cant have them..u do what it takes to 4get. #3 u need to make up ur mind...go to therapy. ur going to destroy THREE lives (possibly more if u have children...) if u dont put ur foot down. as far as the boring sex...... go to sex therapy. from reading.. i can tell that ur with ur wife for a couple of reasons... u trust her...its stable...and more than likely...she is a good hearted person. this lover of urs...the fire..the passion..the heat... its all a distraction. no u dont love her. u love the excitement and the feeling that ur wife could never provide...... dont be surprised if ur wife is also cheating on u...or would leave u out the clear blue. ur paying too much attention to ur lover to notice ur wife...... step back from the situation...look at both women....and really really picture...who will be by ur side when u are old..when u have trouble taking a piss...when ur lonely and want a fulfilling conversation. who will honestly be there...? look back long and hard.... who has been there for u...? also.... ive known home-wreckers...ur lover..will never make any man truly happy... she will get bored easily and leave YOU when the excitement dies down. trust me...i can read this whole damn soap opera like a book.... listen to me...wherever in the world u are behind this computer screen... u DONT love your lover...u LOVE the excitement she brings.... try to sort out whats real. all this good sex..good head and fun is just on the surface... u and ur lover both have deep issues...and i have no choice but to take ur word when u say she is the driving force...if she really is the driving force..then she has no respect. she is classless in morals and ethics (*ahem* u dont fall too far behind but im sure u already knew that ) u get no lectures from me.... just listen to me when i say step back from the whole situation...take a deep breath and think. go for a drive..stare at something calming...turn off ur phone...everything and zone out..... and again...u dont love her... good luck...and ill pray for all three of u...

i read ur post..and i can read into why ur questioning whether its cheating or not. i feel like the only reason ur questioing is because it was brought up. no u werent cheating. but if knowing ur boyfriend would feel disrespected by the situation, just dont do it. the only reason u realized he would be upset about it is because someone mentioned it, then like i said, stop. mention it to him if u like. but to me.. it wasnt as if u set out to go do something like that. if ur into him...respect him whether or not he is in ur presense.

please..this may be long... please if u can please read through and give me some of your wisdom.... hi all..im new. im assuming since u folks are on this particular forum u are either the cheater or the cheated...im the cheated..... i forgave him..i think. he didnt fess up..the other woman actually called me because she suspected something was going on. we've been 2gether for 3yrs now. he was cheating on me with his son's mother.... i was so dumb...so trusting...soo sooo stupid. its like..everyone saw it coming a mile away but u know..when u trust someone..and u believe in them.. noone can tell u anything else. he cheated at a time in our relationship where he felt he was "confused" (Lord, why do most men use that damn line? ...and most women fall for it...*sigh*) whatever the case was he was beyond wrong...he lied to me for months..trying to keep me and her separated. well..whats in the dark always comes to light..i found out..and it felt as if someone took a rope..tied it around my heart and just squeezed...tighter and tighter...i dont think ive ever cried so much in my life. i think the most damaging emotion to my heart was the fact that he lied to me for months.... all he had to say was "baby...im seeing someone else and yes im sleeping with her...lets just cool it for awhile..." God damn it i would have been hurt...but not the way it hurt to find out from someone else. anyway that was about 8 months ago... and due to the fact that it was his son's mother....he has to see her every other weekend.. communicate with her....plus he does have a wonderful son...poor kid..i think he has an idea (he's 11) but i dont think he understands the adult version of what really happened. the other woman...i cant even get myself to hate her. in fact..i like her. she's a good mother and i think she genuinely cares about him.... i dont trust the woman...but i understand her situation and point of view also. i take out all my frustrations on him...not her... my issue is that...fine.. i understand why he cheated ...i partly accept it also... hell.. i know its going to be hard... but is it possible? i mean...its one thing to cheat with a complete stranger...but damn...she's going to be a part of my life also. oh yeah.... me and cheater are engaged.... i actually said yes to a last month proposal. but ever since the talks and plans of marraige...i keep having flashbacks... i keep asking him why he did it...what it was like...did he like it..did she like it...sick questions. i cry more.. im more emotional. i go through his emails like 15times a day. i check his pockets...i was never like this and now i feel psychotic. i used to be so confident in my looks...my brains..and even my sex life..now...all of a sudden.. i want a boob job.. a frikkin PHD..and shoot... im performing tricks in the bedroom fit for the Spice channel..... nothings helping... i feel like im getting worse.... i want to back out of the engagement but the feeling is worse when i think of losing him. all these unanswered questions of why.... why wasnt i good enough... but when i flip it and think about how it was him and not me...it makes me feel worse because i feel like a total wimp/moron for taking him back. i KNOW he's remorseful...i KNOW he loves me...i KNOW he's trying.... but i cant get the flashbacks out of my head....... every other weekend...every time theres a father-son activity....im forced to remember... will it get better? how? when? im sorry this was long.... thank you for all who actually got this far...