Ally Rose

I know it's hard for them, I do get that, but I feel so hurt when they act the way they do. My mum keeps going through all my stuff and taking away anything sharp and it's just like, hello, you're not helping, don't go through my stuff blah blah... I do resent her for not helping when my dad was being, you know, and when I made her mad she'd tell me off really loud so he'd come and smack me around. That sounds like it could be in my head but it's really not. And I always talk to her about her problems and try to understand and it would be nice if she'd do the same for me... I love her loads and stuff but it feels like a one way relationship

stopping is really hard so don't worry about a little slip up, if you really want to stop you will. Lots of luck to you, I hope you get there xxxxxxxxx

I know it's because they care about me. I appreciate where they're coming from and stuff, and I know it's not easy for them but it would be nice if I could get him to talk to me like he used to... and a self-harm ring? seriously? I really wouldn't sit around with a bunch of people complaining and cutting, that's not my thing at all. And she's always like, why do you do it ally, what makes you so sad, you must be doing it to fit in with your friends and it's like she's blocked out this stuff that went on with my dad a few years back. I mean, I actually moved out of home when I was thirteen for 6 months because everything was getting so bad, but she doesn't seem to remember it at all. Is that denial? Maybe she just doesn't want to admit it might be home stuff. It would be easier for her to deal with if I was just doing it to fit in with my friends but it makes me feel like she thinks I'm worthless

I get really embarrassed about it, hardly anyone knows I do it, but I always just want to tell my boyfriend so he doesn't find out some other way and be mad that I didn't tell him. I think probably most SIers go through something like that... people are always less mad about it when you tell them but at the same time telling them makes you feel really stupid, like they'll think you're telling them to get attention or something. I always write it down in my diary so I feel like I've told someone, even if it is just a silly little book. Makes me feel less alone.

I've been self-harming for a few years now and my parents found out about a year back because I needed stitches... they flipped out and have decided I'm part of a self-harm ring which is crazy, I don't know anyone else who does this so where that got that from I don't know... Anyway my boyfriend always tries to talk to me about it and he's done all this research which is fine but whenever he does talk to me he reels out these statistics and it feels like he's put in a box or something. Like he's not talking to me, Ally, but to a Repetitive Self-Harmer who etc etc etc And he didn't used to be like this, he used to be ok but a month back he had to take me to accident and emergency and since then he's just gone weird. And so there's noone who understands that I can talk to... how can I get them to change?