guapa

has his life situation changed at all since he broke up with you? if it has, maybe there is a chance....

hey there is NOTHING wrong with you. totally normal. completely. hey, do you think he'd be cool with you having a one night stand with a woman? some guys don't feel as threatened by other women as they would be by other men...and it's true... some guys think it's hot. yep they do. after i told my exboyfriend i'd some day consider maybe being with a woman he confessed he had fantasies of me being with a woman.

you might want to gently remind her that you aren't together with her because she broke up with you.... make her ask for you back, don't let her think she can "waffle" (in the words of george w. LOL) it's hurtful to go back and forth like that. not cool. not cool at all.

oooooh that's a tough one. what do you think you're feelings are? do you think maybe you just like that he admires you maybe, that it's flattering when his attention is on you but when he is interested in someone else maybe you are losing the attention and that's what is bothering you? or do you think you might like him in a way that you might want to be with him? because really, someone can easily be jealous of someone that they don't really even like.... true...

yeah i like the above posters view on it- it really is about your values and if they align with your friends. if your values do not align, then it is really best to find other friends...

one thing i've learned is that we all have certain body proportions, some of us store our fat on our thighs and butts some of us on our stomachs. i store mine on my butt, it was nice that my ex-bf really appreciated it, but i am always ashamed and analyzing it in the mirror and wishing it away smaller. i eat well, exercise regularly, when it tones it just sort of looks a little more perky but not really smaller... point is that we all have different shapes and have to learn to love our bodies. sure, do some exercises (I'd really recommend yoga because it **really** puts a lot of emphasis on the core, though you should really do what you **love** to do and what makes you emotionally happy) but we all have to learn to look in the mirror and give ourselves love, otherwise we just kill ourselves with our own thoughts (I know **all** about that!!)

I don't think it would possibly hurt to write him a letter, but I don't recommend that you tell him you'd help him buy clothes unless you know him well enough to know that it wouldn't hurt his pride at all... But maybe send him a letter saying some of those nice things you'd mentioned and give him your phone number saying you'd like to meet up outside of school... It can't possibly hurt to try one more time...

I don't know... lots of people would say that it's not your business maybe, but I for one kind of don't like that philosophy. It's like saying... we'll, the government might be killing all of these protestors in, say Canada (for an example that is totally made up) but since it's in Canada we should say anything about it, right? I think you made the right decision. Surely your friend will be upset with you, but you already knew you were risking that when you told Q about W. Probably W would also want to know about Q, your friend thinks he can fool both of them, doesn't he? I think what you did was very kind and sensitive of you and will save her from feeling majorly played later on...

yeah- easier said than done. you know, i went to a special consultation for depression and all, and they just recommended lifestyle changes, but the lifestyle changes are so hard to follow that most of them I've just given up on, It's too much work!! Anyhow, I DOOOO try, it's not like I just sit back and feel lots of self pity and just don't try. I eat well, I do yoga, I try to do breathing exercises, I give myself oil massages, all that, but to no avail, when it comes to loneliness, it i a vice-gripping illness!! It hurts! Horribly! I felt better when my ex made me laugh and didn't get mad. It was weird that he didn't say anything about how I'm **obviously** depressed (does he just not see it)?? I don't know... I'm not lazy, I try...

and... i'm not going to commit suicide, though sometimes i feel like it... it seems like it'd be a complicated thing to do considering i just bought a car and it has a loan on it and i'm renting an apartment and my roommate would have to deal with it and my sister and brother wouldn't even be able to deal with it i don't think, we are so close and all, they'd be heartbroken. i just sometimes look and life and say "why???" i want to do good things for other people, i want to be a natural doctor and help people that don't have insurance and everything, but it seems like maybe that'd be really hard to do because there isn't funding for it and it's so alternative to the mainstream.... and my mind spins because i just found out that i have the high risk kind of hpv the kind that causes cervical cancer and i kind of think i got it from him because i'd alway been tested. it's the kind that doesn't have any symptoms and it's very mysterious in the sense you can't tell who you got it from really, it could pop up years later. and so i'm scared about that and worried that i won't be able to fall in love again and have children.

Yeah, I don't think he is manipulating my emotions, though it does seem like if he knew I loved him why would he bring it up??? It makes it hurt because then I kind of hope that maybe he is asking me because he secretly also wants to be together. I did call him before you all replied and left a short blerb 'hey it's me, give me a call' and he called back immediately but by then I didn't want him to hear me cry and didn't answer and he called back four times and I answered the fifth or sixth time and he said "i'm leaving, why didn't you answer?" and he sounded kind of upset/mad and I said "i'm sorry, i didn't want to" (yeah, i know, that's a lame excuse) and he said well, you know why you called. and i didn't say anything and then he asked me if I went to the concert, turns out he did too, probably wasn't standing that far from me, he asked me if i went with anyone and i said no, and he asked if i'd seen him, i said no... he asked me if i wanted to go for a movie? i said no. he asked me if i wanted to go for dinner? i said no. he laughed and said "i'm serious, do you want to go for dinner" and i said it's too expensive and he said he'd pay... that i'd paid for him before... and i said.....o.k.... and he asked why did i call? i said shut up (jokingly) he said what? i said shut up and spelled it out for him (all joking), he was laughing. he asked me if i wanted to go with him to target, i said that's o.k.... and we joked about that too.... he made me smile and laugh again, it was sweet. i just wonder why didn't he call me back already of his own accord? given that'd i'd called him last... i don't know... it probably will hurt to keep being friends with him, but i do love him. i feel that he probably knew i was sad and lonely and that's why he asked me out...

I don't know what to do.... I'm so sad and lonely, I even started thinking about suicide again this morning. I don't really have any friends. I don't want to call him up and seem pathetic, but I feel pathetic.

I'm so lonely that I cry pretty much every day, sometimes just randomly, you know when I'm at work and I go to the bathroom and my loneliness just explodes out of me in torrents. I've been in contact with my ex and he wanted me to confess to him that I'm not over him and all, I basically did and we talked for a while, I went home and wrote him and email saying that I was just attached to an idealized version of him and that it had nothing to do specifically with him, but then the following day I called him and we talked for five minutes or so (he was at work) and I said that I was sorry, that I valued him as a friend, but I just felt so much loss it was hard and I was trying to seem tougher than I felt. And he said he understood and we hung up to talk later. When he called he sounded a bit odd and I couldn't place it but he wanted me to call him back after I ate, but I didn't because I wasn't sure he really wanted me to. So I wrote him an email (real short) just saying that I wasn't going to call him for the stated reason and that if I was wrong to feel free to call me. He called me the following morning really early at about 8:15 and I missed the call (he said he'd call me back later, but it didn't sound like he had read my email from the message, noting in the message I hadn't called him back). I went to yoga and didn't return the call til about 11:30 and I said I was going to go to a free concert (he was going to as well) and asked if he needed a ride. He didn't call me back, but the thing started at 11 so it was possible he'd already left at that point. It was really crowded and I didn't see him there (there were something like 30-40,000 people). So... anyways, he hasn't called me or written me since then and I am wondering if I should call him again? Also, I guess maybe there is no point because I am in love with him. He said in his email that he loves me even if I refute it. He said he is over me and I believe it, but he also says he loves me and so.... I want to somehow convince him we could work, but when I'm so depressed and needy I know it's not helpful at all.............. I'm really sad.

I'm friends with all my ex'es pretty much (except those in other countries that I can't contact because I don't have their info). The last one I was angry with and told him I wanted NC, but the fact of the matter is that I love him... And he is sort of my friend now. so, basically I think what it really depends on is **why** the females says NC, how bad was it... if a man cheated on me, i'd never talk to him again. period.

Honestly it doesn't sound like she is making much of an effort to contact you...

My ex and I had a firey break up. Haven't been talking in a long while, maybe a few weeks, except for one argument we had on the phone (about the break up). We've been emailing, though. He called me, seemed like he wanted to ask me to do something with him, but wouldn't ask. He called again, wouldn't ask. Called again and wanted to talk about the break up and how we aren't compatible. Called again and told me about a concert on Saturday. Called again and left a message asking me to go for dinner. I don't know what to think. Surely he just wants to be friends, but it brings up lots of sexual feelings for me. Just as he pointed out on the phone we were really sexually compatible. And it caused me to have all these fantasies about him last night, that it was practically painful. I know we don't work, but it's mostly because he is very intolerant of our differences. I know he is going to call again and ask me to hang out with him, just a matter of time.... What do I do? All this brings up feelings again.

Yeah, I just take one at the beginning when the pain is really bad. Maybe two at the most if the pain comes back when it wears away. For me it's just the first day of my period that is horrid. But one really does it for me. Without it I just can't function!

i've felt that way before. just whatever you do, don't let him know you are THIS worried, it might make him feel constrained. you can let him know you love him and are committed to him, but be really careful about projecting this onto him. This is ALL your own internal delimna. I felt this way about an ex and really had no reason to be as worried as I was, and it ate away at me. And I started to get insanely worried about any girl and started to get jealous and then I started to let him know. And it pushed him away from me... So we broke up. All for the best in the end, but don't let that happen to you...

maybe some ibuprofen, i'd try that, it works for my menstrual cramps, i think it reduces the swelling in my uterus, why not breasts? it definitely wouldn't hurt to try.

Well, women women's breast swell due to breastfeeding they often recommend cold compresses (warm before feeding to get the milk moving, cold afterwards), but for you I'd recommend putting cold compresses on the breasts to soothe the pain. Not sure if there are other things you can do.

I thought that it ended after puberty.

what does "stuffed you up" mean?

it's roses and stuff you can buy. doesn't compare to TREATING someone right. Proceed with extreme caution.

I'm 25 and my breasts are still growing. I feel growth pains, first in one breast for a day and then in the other. Is this normal???

I looked at all your posts. It seemed like he was a big jerk to you. Kind of reminds me of my ex... and I know that it's hard (SO HARD) to cut people out completely. It seems like his gifts come at a perfect time, when you maybe were just starting to heal. It seems like he never really gave you the love you wanted, but you kept hoping he would change and hurting for him to give you that love. And you kept asking him to commit to you but he kept taking you for granted and then getting upset with you for asking for more. And now that you are gone he decides he wants a lapdog and wants you back on his leash. God. I KNOW it hurts, so much from my own experience. DON'T expect love from him or a relationship. PLEASE. You are going to slide backwards down a hill you've been working so hard to get over.... I would say... don't reply. Let him try harder. Let him be clearer. Let him REALLY show that he isn't going to take you for granted. But honestly, I feel that he is not the right one for you because he has NEVER really respected you... and from the track record he probably never will.