Well I have been in the relationship with this guy J.. for 9 months now. I have dated many guys before him but i was never in love. I'm about to be 20 now and this is my first time falling in love. I have never felt this way about no one before. I just didn't care about no guy before. I always though what is the poing of giving your heart to some one when they gonna break it anyways and what is the point of giving all your time to one person when they just gonna mess over you. Well after I started dating J.. i really started having strong feelings for him. I started feeling something that i have never felt in my life. An hour away from him seemed like forever if 4 hours would pass and he didn't call me I would be all sad and stuff. I don't know i just can't describe the feelings that I had when I was away from him. Ever since first day I met him I have been having more fun with him then with anyone else. With him i can be myself and he is just great. None of my friends and my family don't like him and I have lost a lot of friends beause of him but None of that seems like it matters to me now. It seems like the only person that matters to me in life is him. I know it seems cruel I love my friends don't take me wrong but I also got really strong feelings for this guy. I don't want to lose him. We planing on moving out together but the thing is I'm still scared that he'll cheat and break my heart. I'm scared that I will be hurt. I'm scared of losing him. I know I should trust him and to some point I do but then I'm still thinking he is a GUY he'll do it sooner or later. I know that might be wrong but i can't help it. I have been through a lot and I just don't want to get hurt by a guy. I love this guy more then my life. I might even lose my family if I keep seeing him especially if I move out with him. But I really don't care as long as I have him with me. I can't believe that I'm feeling this way. Just the though of losing him makes me cry. But I just can't seem to trust no one. I have so many people telling him ( people that know him) he ain't gonna cheat on you he wouldn't J.. is not like that. But is just can't seem to believe that. I keep thinking that he'll break my heart in some kind of way and I'm scared. I mean is it okay to feel the way I do. Now i know that there are some guys that get hurt by a girl but i can't seem to trust a guy.
