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Blue Dreamer

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  1. Blue Dreamer
    One extremely unsimple sentence my friend. self happiness (aka self respect which stems from self acceptance) should serve as your ticket to find another to bond with. Even without another by your side, with that ticket, you'll find hapiness no matter what curvy path life directs you down. Single or coupled, does not matter. Only you can define the minimum requirements for you to have self respect and heartedly accept who you are. Do you know what they are? Mine are much higher than the majority. Am workin on that. Side Note: if you think youre not good lookin, you are incorrect. Many women love dueds with no hair. Always consider the masses, not the few. You'll be fine.
  2. Blue Dreamer
    Very necessary to respect other women. They are humans just as you are. You are confused based on your previous thoughts/experiences and as a result, perceptions of women. You are growing up and starting to think straight. Good for you.
  3. Blue Dreamer
    Congrats for you for being happy with life. Thats # 1. You're content with your situation because you want/allow it to be. You may want more like a boyfriend for example, but you dont want it bad enough to be whole hearted bout it. You will get there with time.
  4. Blue Dreamer
    Would you give your legs to be more outgoing and confident? Just kidding. I know how you feel. My greatest motivation right now is to be more outgoing and talkative as I have lived the shy reserved life for too many years. You are a young kid with oppertune years ahead of you in college or the like to hone your communication skills.
  5. Blue Dreamer
    I know what you mean as my past is not something to brag about. I do as I can to just forget the past as I should. I know its done and whatever was is not now. For me, I dream to take advantage of where I am 2day. Yea its really tough yet so worth it. Live as you you feel man. Yes you cant undo the past but you can start over in your mind if you really want to. Me slightly older than you. I accept my age as thats life but refuse to live like most do. I love to live below my years as livin young keeps my senses at their maximum. You seem to want similar. Do it because u can. If you got membership 2 gym, dont worry bout building relations so much as gettin yourself in shape physically & mentally, you have too much to stem from there. Else shallow powers have strength they dont deserve.
  6. Blue Dreamer
    I know too well what you are going though when it comes to self belief. I know what its like to have had others falsely perceive me for what im not. For nearly a decade I went through the same experiences. I assumed that others thought I was a weirdo too. Truth is, I am not your normal outgoing Joe. My key now is appreciating and taking advantage of my positives, and just talking positive when around others. I woke up slowly but am now working on it as I so want to be more out going and social. Its really tough sometimes but that makes it worth it all the more. The thing with you is you continue to focus your life around past experiences and perceptions. You assume that other peeps are looking at you strangely and you assume what others may be thinking of you right? That just helps you to confirm your negative self perceptions which are a bunch of bologna. Trust me. You must let go of your high school experiences at minimum as those peeps were clearly immature. That verbal abuse you experienced were simply just words which have no real value. You need to work on not letting others actions and words influence your thoughts about yourself. If you continue as you are, it will simply get worse. I know its frickin hard man. You gotta do what you can to always better yourself. Keep your mind busy with your own interests (no, not social phobia ). Do different work, hobbies, helping others or whatever that you enjoy. Anything good for your mind. Take care and PM me anytime if you wanna just talk.
  7. Blue Dreamer
    link removed is 100% free and as cool as they come. Very entertaining in the least.
  8. Blue Dreamer
    I assume you have a pretty good idea of the kind of guy yould like to meet. MY best advice is to do some research and find clubs to join that will more likely have guys you might like to meet. Not sure how big your city is but consider school, city and state clubs. Are there no music clubs you could join? If it makes u feel better, youre not alone, my options are very limited when it comes to meeting the kind of women I would like to meet as I currently reside in a fairly small town with basically no clubs of my interest and most peeps dont even speak my language. I work with what I got but I gotta get out of this place for sure when I get liscenced. Best of luck.
  9. Blue Dreamer
    Oddly, what you just described is where was a few months ago. I lived 4 so many years blind of the pleasures of having a significant other yet now I see the beauty it can provide for the first time. :shocked!: It kicks butt. For me tennis was my connection and I took advantage of the experience. True love hasnt been reached but i can now see the potential with time. You must have some sort of passions right? Things u like to do, study, excel at? Go and do them, be u outside of the norm, find clubs if u need to. Do the things uve wanted to do for years yet havent allowed yourself to. Meeting those of similar intrests make the bonding aspect so much easier and the results are endless, as you define them. Best of luck.
  10. Blue Dreamer
    I know I m falling 4 her. It's hard 2 walk away as I don't have many options when it comes to women. The husband sees us as friends as it originally was. They got married out of lust not understanding and they both are gradually realizing that now. The good thing is they are so young. I'll stop now.
  11. Blue Dreamer
  12. Blue Dreamer
    I don't want to be mean, just real. In his mind, marijuana likely makes him a better person in his mind, temporarily. You likely have to realize that he is probly mentally addicted to marijuana and will never admit any addiction until he's ready. Based on what you are saying, getting high is more important to him than you are. Am I wrong? Drugs are what they are, drugs. Ive been there, done that, with marijuana. If he means that much to you, you need to get damn serious with him.
  13. Blue Dreamer
    Dont want 2 confuse yet the prob with that is our friendship is too strong. We know and understand eachother too well 2 break it off because it's a rare find. Y'all may be right, but I hope not, I guess I'm just feeling something I never have before. It's gr8 yet it sucks.
  14. Blue Dreamer
    I was gonna put this this friendships but im not sure, I need as many different inputs as possible please. Please think of this as entertainment as that may just be what it is supposed to be for me. The wife of a sports buddy I play basketball with often has started to spend essenetially all of her free time texting me as a friend and we have talked about everything under the sun in the last few months. We joke with eachother so much that it kinda gets personal and the catch is it's supposed to be a joke. She acts like she's not intersted, yet she keps on texting me. I essentially play off her jokes yet somehow the jokes get so deep between us. Thing is were just supossed to be friends but to me, we shouldnt be joking the way we do if we are just gonna be friends yet it keeps on going. She texts me daily and she really is a good friend and this is not my style because marriage is sacred to me. Prob is I'm pretty sure they got married way too young and I feel they really didnt understand eachother as they should prior to marriage. Fortunately, I am blessed because I havent reached that level yet haha. Anyway, I have to admit that part of me likes her more than a friend and I don't want to get over my head but its hard not to cuz Im a romantic not a player. I like her more than I should and I think its mutual. Just wanna know what others would do if they have been or are in similar shoes. What would you do? Thanx.
  15. Blue Dreamer
    You go ancalagon. Smart response. Kevin (this is response to the original post), I have read a few of your posts over time. Apperently you truly percieve yourself as ugly, nobody can change that belief except yourself. You have been told you can via many helpful members here at enotalone yet you fail to see that concept. Sadly, you believe you have convinced youself you will always be as ugly as you think you are. Luckily, deep in your heart, you know you will always be as gorgeous as you think you are. Also, you know you will always be as smart as you think you are. F**k what the majority thinks and defines you to be, and think for yourself. Failing to do this will keep you right where you are now. Jailed in a life of self torture. You must forget your looks and learn that any respectable women won't focus on your looks, but on you, inside. Your persenality and confidence should entirely define your future if you allow it to. You want a hot chick, open your mind to internal forms of attraction. If you fail to grow up and see the importance in true relations between men and women, you will likely die an unhappy, regretful man from what I can tell. Fortunately these are my perceptions, not reality, right? Honestly, I feel you have spent to much time here Kevin. It is about time for you to grow inside. If you don't, and blow off reality messages like this, and keep posting your struggles here; Seriously imagine yourself as an elder, as you probably already have, jokingly in your mind. Think about it, your elder years are likely as you define them today. Don't get me wrong, you can be a mack daddy elder man if you want, scoring points in the local retirement home. Nothing personal, but I have every intention of avoiding the mack daddy retirement home life. Just an example. You know what you want, so take care of yourself and really live for what you need to do about your future. Speals.
  16. Blue Dreamer
    Robowarrior's last statements are extremely solid. Yes, it is extremely inaccurate to think as you do. You can't be pursued because you have convinced yourself of that. The roughest years of my life were defined by insecurity and lack of self confidence, most people use the term shyness. You have allowed the external environment to impress/depress your own thoughts about yourself. Really, what do you think of yourself? Start there please. You need to be felt, you need to be heard, yet you need to do this for yourself before you can effectively be felt or heard by others. Take care of yourself and start with square one, yourself. I did, and that is why I do not spend much time here. Members here sent me in the right direction, and I thank them for that. It took time, and that time has turned out to be priceless as I know so much more of myself than the typical. Self improvement is all over the web. My knowledge has resulted in exciting experiences.
  17. Blue Dreamer
    You must know you are not hopeless as your screen name provides. My guess is you have been influenced by those who appear to live superior lives in your mind. Maybe you have been influenced by those always one step ahead of you in the game of life. Whether that's the case or not, no matter. Something has influenced you to consistently think in this fashion. You need to banish that kind of thinking. This can be an easy process, but can also be as hard as you want it to be. Until you are able to appreciate the positive of what you have today, you will never rise to the level of happiness you strive for. Don't listen to me. I am just blabbing.
  18. Blue Dreamer
    If he's looking, I am sure he's interested. He appears to be shy and also lacking the needed confidence to make solid eye contact, which is critical in my book. Take a chance and initiate a convo with him and go from there.
  19. Blue Dreamer
    Out side of working and other necessities, what do you all do in your free time? I am at the point where I realize that I really don't know how to define myself outside of my work. My focus has been career orientated for years. I realize now the importance of finding my true passions, self beliefs, etc. The things that define who we are most importantly to ourselves. Am in need for some difference and creativity. At this point, would just like to get away from my working life, and have some fun. Outside of posting on this site and others, what do y'all do for fun? All is appreciated. Hobbies, passions, etc. Thanx. Speals
  20. Blue Dreamer
    Just doing it is your key. If you don't talk to her, you know you will regret it. Sadly, it's as difficult as you believe it will be. The productive way to accomplish is to face the fear and converse with her. Do it with preperation if you have to. If it goes bad, forget it. Benefit yourself and learn from it and focus on the next challenge.
  21. Blue Dreamer
    Hi Swtpea, What I mean is my anxienty and the Negative Nellie (which is my blinder) in my mind are removed when I am drunk which easily allowed me to get out socialize without making false assumptions about how others may or may not percieve me. Just like you, alchohol ultimately resulted in emotional turmoil for me too. It was definitely fun at times, but time for me to grow up. You sound like you are in the right frame of mind and thinking long term, keep it up.
  22. Blue Dreamer
    Ever since reading her reply last Monday when I was hungover, my entire outlook on alchohol has changed. I drank to get drunk and to be the temporary confident someone I am not (not yet of course I always knew it subconsciously but kidded myself into thinking maybe I would make some friends and maybe even a girlfriend. I went to a bar with a co-worker last night and had a couple beers but stopped because I did not enjoy them as I knew my true intentions. That was a powerful feeling to walk out of the bar sober which builds my esteem. To the other shys out there that drink to socialize, what kind of relations with other people will you be able to build being drunk? What will the relationships be based upon? For myself, the answer is scary.
  23. Blue Dreamer
    Thanx for the replies. I am really glad I posted this thread last night. It is a harsh reality to read the responses. My sister is a recovering alchoholic and she had to hit rock bottom to realize it. I am headed towards alcoholism as it allows me to avoid my reality of severe shyness. Never heard of the term "dry drunk" but it makes sense and I refuse to be classified as one. Right now I need to figure out how to tear down the social walls I have built in my mind so I can get out and socialize as me, and face my shyness head on. I so need to increase my confidence levels. Any advice on where to start? Thanx again.
  24. Blue Dreamer
    I know I need to back myself up on this. Reality being, I am able to express my knowledge and intelligence with a bit of inibriation. It drives me nuts yet I can communicate with family and friends and meet new people. For years, I struggled to provide solid commication with family and friends. Fortunatley, I had many cool experiences with a girl from my old job that involved alcohol which allowed me to think at levels I have desired for a long time. Confusing? I am so lost as it makes no sense. Right now I have a love/hate relation with alchohol. Don't need it, but want it becuase I think it releases me from the blinders which hold me back, and that is mental freedom and mental inspiriation. No, not drunkenness, just free from the crap I have created over the years in my life. I am convinced our greatest possession is freedom, some realize it w/ ease, some aquire it over time, some never do. I am in the middle, but greatful for that. Not looking for advice but would like some agreements, disagreements, etc. Thanx.
  25. Blue Dreamer
    Thank you all for the replies. I know what I need to do now.
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