signofthegoat

He told me what happened when he got back. Apparently she has a boyfriend, too, but didn't have anyone to go with her to see this flick at the time. My b/f said he distanced himself from her and was pretty uncomfortable the whole time, especially since most of the theater comprised of couples. So yeah, if I have anyone to worry about, it's the chick... not my b/f.

I think he did it to appease her because he said he was that bored and I forgot to mention that he said she only seems to want to contact him or hang out when he's got a girlfriend. He said she knows he's got one, but still, I decided not to make a big deal out of it. It's just the fact that most girlfriends would flip and want to smack the other woman that made me question my choice. She also was taking a long time to get ready, so that was kinda fishy. But instead I joked and told him that "dang, she's really get prepped up for this date." Whatever...

I just gave my boyfriend, who lives around 80 miles south of me, the go-ahead to catch a late movie with a girl who had been bugging him to see it with her. I was cool about this situation since I trust him and know how he feels about me and our relationship; I also didn't want to come off as controlling or jealous. He did mention to me that he'd have rather me been mean about it and not given him permission to go out with her. Should I have behaved differently to the situation or something?

What are your thoughts on working at the same job as your ex does? If the prospect of friendship was possible, would it help ease the awkwardness?

Are there any logical, acceptable, and healthy reasons to try again with an ex? If so, what are they and how can they be exercised?

He just said things like "I bet you can't last," but I'm still not sure.

I was wondering what possible explinations there would be pertaining to the guy refusing sex with his SO? For a couple of days this has been going on with me, someone with a rather high libido, and I was thinking it could be that he's just testing me to see how long I can last without it. However, it still hurts my feelings and I'd like to look out for other reasons why he's doing this.

Here's the thing. My boyfriend doesn't treat me bad; it's more of him treating himself bad. He has very low self-esteem and it tends to rub off on me and turn the majority of our conversations with each other into a therapy session. This happens because I can't help but care about him and I want him to appreciate himself like I, and his friends and family, appreciate him. However, one of the things I found completely disrespectful was when he had invited me over and I discovered him high on pot. Now, it's not the problem that he has marijuana in his life; it's that I had told him over and over again how uncomfortable I'd be around him while he was high. I deliberately pleaded him to do it out of my presense and when he outright did it and then had me come catch him, I felt disrespected and bolted out of there while he was using the restroom. We both really want to be together, so that makes it hard for me to just dump him over that mistake. I'm sure he'll do it again because it seems to be more important to him than those who care for him, so would I be compromising myself if I stayed with him and let myself get let down once again by this? I don't want to compromise how I feel about certain things just to stay in a relationship, but I also want to attempt to "accept" this fact and try to look past it. It's already tiring enough to handle him while he's sober, but I know he's got his heart in the right place and I couldn't stand breaking it.

Hey, yeah, that's how it's going to have to go since I decided to go ahead and send his friend a text message saying, "I forgot to get his number, do you have it?" Hopefully I'll get some type of reply eventually. But I feel somewhat better now that I might get the number... because I'll certainly call when I do.

(For the record, yes, I also post at link removed) I realize that infatuation developing after a mere meeting with someone is natural and normal, but I for the most part am uncomfortable with the symptoms and would rather get the "green light" or not, as far as pursuing goes. My situation at the moment is unquestionably lust at first sight, and what I neglected to do was offer to exchange numbers with him. I don't know if after meeting a girl and shooting pool with her and then neglecting to ask for HER digits automatically means he's "just not into her." Or does it? I mean, the friend he was with at the pool hall is friends with MY best friend, so I figured there might be a possibility we'd see each other again eventually. Or maybe never again, though, which is why I really just want to have a means of contact with this guy. I want to spend more time with him to see if my infatuation is justified or even on to something. Infatuation can blind a girl and lead her to believe a guy is more interested than he actually may be, but I still thought the hints I was given might be in my favor after all. He was a little hard to read since he was tall, dark and mysterious and said very little that night. But I read his body language instead and analyzed his actions and I could tell he enjoyed my company when he wanting to keep playing even after he'd technically won that "round" of pool. So, the thing is, is that I do have the number of his friend, but I don't want to have his friend feel like I'm "using" him only to get to the guy I like. What I sort of want to do is ask his friend to forward my digits to him, that way placing the ball in his court. I would really like it to be in his hands. Seeing as he doesn't have a way to contact me, I don't feel like it is in his hands... I feel like it's in mine since I want to see him so much again. I would just like some suggestions on what to do and if one of them is to forget about him, then I ask how come?

Thanks, guys. I guess the safe thing to do is call sparingly and keep it very light and casual.

What would you all consider the "rules of the phone" between a girl and a guy who are interested in each other yet haven't met offline yet? Though they do plan to. Like, should the guy be the only one making the phone calls, etc., or what are acceptable reasons to call each other about without coming on too strong or eager?

But "accepting" that it was a crush hasn't enabled me to remove the feelings. I've accepted that it's unrequited, and for that I am willing to move on, but they're still there. I want them gone.

I can't seem to get over and move on from this guy I have been interested in since the beginning of this year. He had been in the same course as mine the entire schoolyear, but I didn't take notice of him until this one particular day when the attraction was magically sprouted. My first impression of him was that he was this unattainable and fairly popular jock who just so happened to enjoy heavy metal. I didn't waste any time and decided to go for it; to get to know this fine-looking young man. My first contact with him was through MySpace where I invited him to go bowling with me. To my good fortune, he replied the next day informing me that he'd definitely be up for it sometime. We were now good friends from that point on; we would wave and smile wide to each other as we passed in the hallway and I would give him a DVD to borrow from time to time (this all, of course, being a part of my agenda). As the days passed, I allowed myself to have his innocent, gentlemanly behavior unintentionally lead me on. I would take his opening of doors and asking about my cold or sprained ankle to heart. Now, the reason the two-month pursuit was so enjoyable for me was because not only did it bring out the best in me, but it gave me a sense of hope and newfound confidence. It gave me incentive to get out of bed each morning and attend my courses until I'd get to see him later in the day. I somehow seemed to never find myself stuttering or having sweaty palms whenever I spoke to him, even if it was only for the walk to the next course after the one we shared was over. However, I eventually became exhausted due to all of the effort and moves I pulled with him. I wasn't really getting anything in return except for merely seeming happy to be around me. He never initiated any conversations with me, never made any plans to hang out or even bowl, and only called me one time one evening (when it was technically a "call back," it's just that he wasn't able to get to his cell-phone at the time of my call). Now that I'm passed the infatuation part, where I would brush off all of his flaws, get butterflies in my stomach, and blindly insist that he was interested in me as I was interested in him, I still can't manage to get him out of my head. I'm pretty sure I've gotten him out of my heart, but I go through these "feeling swings," where one day I don't even care if I don't see or hear of him, but then the next I'm in his presense and even the smallest amount of attention I get from him will leave me on Cloud Nine. I know both in my heart and in my mind that this is a lost cause because a lot of my moves may have been meaningless to him, seeing as how he suffers from ADHD and is extremely hard to read. I mean, it's lucky for me if I say something on accident and regret it, yet he didn't even notice it or acknowledge it; but when I do want a certain feeling or sentiment of mine to get through to him, I know that it will be way too hard and just not worth it. I really have no excuse to still have feelings for this guy, but they keep coming back and tugging at my heart. Now that I've seemingly moved on and don't speak with him nearly as much as I used to (however much that even was), a part of the way I feel might be because of how much I miss how I felt during my pursuit of him. I was on a high and I felt like I had him hooked on my fishing line. He wouldn't avoid me, but he'd sometimes be aloof (whether on purpose or not; again, his condition could be attributed to it), and that was just enough to keep me attracted and going. Now, we only have about a month and a half left before we graduate and will likely never see each other again. I am looking forward to moving out of the state and finding love elsewhere. Even though I'm perfectly comfortable with this intention, I still don't want to keep harboring this feelings for this guy inside of me. I've tried everything from meditation, to removing most things around me that might remind me of him, to not making any more efforts to initiate conversations with him. Seeing him in a course each day of the week is a huge part of the reason I can't remove these feelings, but maybe there's some other remedy out there that could help me, especially if I were to suffer from this again in the future? I remain so powerfully attracted and it hurts.

That's exactly what I'm looking forward to doing. I got everything straightened out and although we're remaining friends, nothing's changed except the destroyed infatuation. I'm being told that he'll probably come around when I've already done moved on, which is right now. But I like him enough as a person to treat him the same as always, and vise versa.