marolua

I think good friends never joke in the way these people have done. Maybe you should be more aware of what you mean by a good friend, an ordinary friend and a best friend. Ordinary friends might tell jokes about you that might hurt your heart. That has happened to me. I told something special to one of my friends, and I heard him joking about this very important issue to other guys. That was so disgusting. The thing is that this can happen to everyone, the important thing is the be aware of the limitations of your friendship and stop hanging out with them because you do not have any other thing to do. Make new friends, and don't give people more love than they deserve.

For the last two years, I have been single. Up until then I always had on e or more men in my life. Well my last relationship has made me so unhappy that I decided I needed some time to recover. The problem is, in two years everything has changed. I can not meet a nice man as much as I could before. My self-esteem is going down and down.The reason is whenever I date with someone or like someone I am always rejected. I don't know why, but it seems that I am choosing man who I think I can handle, and those guys say that I am too much for them. I am rather too beatiful, or too smart, or too career oriented or something else.. Rejection has become the main motif in my life. I feel sick, I lost trust in myself, I lost trust in love, I have began to pity myself, I even think that my 'past' is doing all these things to me. I know that if I can not change this fear of being broken or being rejected I never can enter into a real relationship, but I do not how. Help?? ps: I am not sure, but 5 years ago my boyfriend committed suicide, that might be the reason that I have lost faith in the sustainability of a relationship, or not I don't know... [/b]

1. Yes I have considered committing suicide. 2. Loneliness but more meaninglessness of life. I thought that living was a choice and i did not wanted to. 3. Well, I feared, and sometimes I thought of my brother who was very little then. I thought I could not do this to him. Also, my boyfriend had had committed suicide, I did not want people to think that I died because of him. 4. I HAVE BEEN TO THE DEEPEST DEPRESSIONS, I HAVE SENT MY LOVE TO DEATH, BUT I AM SURE THAT THERE IS A REASON THAT ONE-ANYONE-HAS COME TO THE EARTH. HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF AND PLEASE SEEK HELP.

Well, in this kind of a situation usually one advices not to call. Sure you should not call, but I have another idea. Since you see each other at work, try not to talk to him but in a manner that you feel that he is around. That is feel sexy inside, but don't direct it to him. This might work?

.This is the story. I am 24 years old, and I have taken anti-depressants from age 19 to 23. That means I have been living without any medicine for a year, I have had ups and downs, but usually things were normal. However, for about a month I feel depressed, my counsellor says that I might take medicine, but I am not sure. I know that the possibility of getting into depression is higher if one has had a past experience, but I also think that medicine is not always the right solution. I have been speaking to myself for about ten days, usually checking whether I am depressed or not. In depression, I do not eat, so I am checking whether I can now. Today, I have noticed that this kind of attitude makes me even worse. The question is, can someone handle depression in a minor situation. Can I avoid depression or should I begin taking anti-depressants immediately? I feel lonely but I still have an aim to live. I do not think about killing myself, but I just dont want to communicate and a minor problem which I would usually think for an hour takes a long time to handle. I want to cry sometimes, but I still can smile to the mirror! Anyone who can advice?

I know how you are feeling but let me tell that loving somebody is not that bad, even if she loves someone else. I mean you love for yourself, this is something that you feel, so take care of your feelings, she might be ignorant or might love someone else, but this does not mean that your love is worthless. Love her, cry for her, face some pain, you will see that it will pass, and one day you will say that how in the earth have I loved her. that happened to me, I was in love for this guy for about three years, i wrote poems, letters to him, cired nearly every day and he was loving someone else. after years had passed he called me and he still calls but even if how hard I try I can not love him anymore. so live your love since it belongs only to you, no one else!

okey, I am 23 and I am still living together my family, which is the beginning of the problem possibly. I have always had a hard relationship with my father, u know the usual girl/father thing thrughout my teenage years, but for the last two years we have been doing better I mean we don't fight any more. This is partly he has changed and that I have grown up, but still he is the only person that can make me unhappy with even a certain sentence. He always makes jokes, but usually these are not funny, I mean I do not laugh at them and they make me unhappy. He knows this probably, that he can make me cry with the jokes he makes. You might wonder what type of jokes these are, well they are basically directed at my somehow low self-esteem. Examples might be today I have a terrible backache, I always work with the pc, and I dont do anything related with sports, and he says that : 'you will never change, you have to do some sports..' another one is that he told me today that ' even you get an acceptance or not you will be unhappy and make us unhappy'. Here he is talking about my application to an university that I reallly wanna go and study, an issue of big importance for me. Well, i know that these do not seem like big problems, but they really make me unhappy, and he does not seem to care. I know that I am grown up and have to move from the issue of 'my father does not understand me' but nevertheless I dont know how to get over this issue. Any advice would be valuable since I do not know how to protect myself from his words.

If you are sure that you wanna see him and be with him, my advice would be to be together, which means see him, spend time with him, but at the same time do not be too available for him whenever he calls. This means that 'be around him, but stay calm and cool and act like you have totally forgeted about getting back together'. this might seem as too much tactical, but it seems this is the way things work out, but let me add that, this might hurt more than it hurts now, and you might not be able to succeed. Or you might move on your own way, which you would do is your decision, but remember that putting too much effort might not make a relationship better.

Hi everybody, I finally called my ex after three months of thinking about what he has been doing. A brief summary would be that, we had broken up 1.5 years ago, but we are still on the same campus, and the last week I saw him but he did not see me. I called him since I want to say him hello, whats up? when I see him around the campus. So I called him, said all these things and also said that I wanted to have a coffee and talk together anytime. His voice was happy and confused but he said he would call. so he sent me a sms 2 days after this conversation telling that ' we are going to a movie come if you want'. I hesitated but eventually went to the movie, but I was so anxious that I constantly spoke to his boyfriend, and did not very much talk to him..he didnt also talk to me very much. we entered the movie but it was so boring and also i had seen the movie before. so at the break I left the movie, we said 'c u' to each other. this is the story, and now I am feeling too bad about leaving the movie, I had a chance to speak to him and i lost this because I could not stand to watch the movie for three hours. the question is should I call him again? or should I forget about this alltogether?

Hi Ilse, I have taken Efexor for about 2 years and it has been 2 years since I have stopped taking them, but I would advice you not to drink even on new year's eve, since it really turns out to be bad, I have experienced it. I hope you would get better, since I have just finished my MA thesis, and its a really hard process, best luck!

If you two can not make time for each other, why don't you make some time for yourself, dont ask for his time, at least try not to ask him, do what you would do, go where you would like to go if you did not have him as your bf. I went through such 'I do not have time' discourse of a man, and I know that there is nothing worse that can make you feel yourself this much worse. Just stop thinking of what to do about your relationship, try to focuse on what you can do for yourself, try not to be 'available' whenever he asks you, and I am sure things will get better for your relationship! Even soulmates may get bored of each other?

I think this girl is not sure what to do, she wants to be independent but she also does not want to lose contact with you. She might want you at the end or may be she would find another person, but wouldn't it be better if you continue not to be available? Only when she finds out that you are serious in what you mean, and that you love her but also you love yourself, then she will respect you more. Leave her alone so that she can find out how life will be without you. I am telling these since once I had a bf, whom I really liked but did not want to be together, at least this was what I told to him. But the real thing was I just wanted someone to ready to accept me whenever I felt alone, and when I was not alone I never needed him. This was me, your gf's motivations might be different but I think that she is lying even to herself when she says that I wanted a bf, it would be you'. I think you should try to see things from a distant and objective setting, and hope you will feel better about yourself soon..

And THOUGHTS are also important, I mean the way in which you recall your ex from your memory is in your hands and you can actually change it, whenever you want.. Here are some tips, 1. Be aware that s/he is just a person, and it is YOU that adds adjectives such as: "sweet", "clever", "my only love" and so on. Take off all the adjectives that you yourself have thought them to be, than you will see that this "I miss my ex" thing is just a second away from an obsession. 2.Know that s/he is not a better person than you are 3. S/he might also miss you as much as you are,but this is not important as much as you might think it is. These are advices that have worked for me, so I hope they would work for any of you..

I can not forget my ex, I am thinking of him all through the day, but the problem is that it has been about 1 and a half year since I have said him to break up totally. We met several times after we broke up, but every time we met he was telling me about his new girlfriends and asking me advice to what to do, since, he said, I was the only person that he could talk with. I could not stand this situation any more, and after approximately 6 months after we heve broken up,I said him that we could not be friends anymore, and please dont call me, dont come to my office, dont even say me any "hi' in the Icq! The problem is: He took my words seriously, 3 months earlier I saw him on a very happy day of mine, and we did not even say hello to each other. And this hurts too much. We were very close when we were together, before eveything else we had a world of two people. I know that those times will not come back, and he will not come back to me, BUT, I am still expecting him to call me. Since I have realized that I do not want another boyfriend since I can not forget him, and not the other way round, i ams o desperate that I can not carry on with my life. I want to call him, write him a long long e-mail but I dont do anything. And sure I can not meet any new possible boyfriend, since I dont look around. How am I going to break this circle? I really need your advice? Should I call him or should I force myself into liking a person. any person?