elveden

Well, in my opinion, there are vital elements to any relationship. I believe the biggest is Trust.. Without trust, no relationship has a hope in hell of surviving. Partners who don't trust each other are prone to easily jumping to incorrect conclusions and often accusing one another falsely.

I've been in a similar situation.. It took me nearly 9 months to get over my first proper gf but once I did - it was fantastic.. I could finally move on :scatter:

Sorry Davidsan, i'm a little unsure as to what you mean.. Confidence is definitely a big part of a successful relationship - having confidence in your partner is vital. Without confidence, it's easy to jump to conclusions and assume things which often turn out not to be true..

I must say I disagree with Hakim. In my opinion (having suffered in similar relationships before myself) your problem is communication. Judging by the way you described your story you appear very confused about this whole thing. I'm not blaming anything on you, he appears very confused also. It's vital in a relationship (and even moreso when there are other people such as ex-partners involved) that you keep talking to each other. You need to know where you are in this relationship. I wouldn't go as far as to say this guy is messing you around, he just seems confused. If I were you, I would set aside a good 2 hours to sit down and talk to him about absolutely everything that's happened. He needs to make a decision and say what is more important to him. Really, you need to find out where you are with this guy - otherwise he'll keep messing both of you around like he has been doing. It's not his fault, like I keep saying, he sounds very confused.. That's all.. Really hope this works out for you Tom

someone explain to me how a guy 'cuts off' an orgasm and goes multiple. I was told that to achieve a multiple you needed to practise? Someone fill me in..please..

Er..9 times out of 10 the idea of sex is to have an orgasm? So just don't have sex. You're slightly crazy in my mind Why the hell would you never want to have an orgasm again!?

I agree.. I thought I was in love a year ago. Then one day, she dumped me.. ..over Msn Now i'm in a great relationship. But due to my past experience, I can't let it run away with me again-because last time, it shattered me..

I woke up this morning and suddenly realised just how much I rely on my girlfriend in life. I noticed that when we first started seeing each other, I started to enjoy life a lot more than I had been. I felt as though someone was there fore me, and i'd never be alne. I don't know if anyone else feels the same-that we do rely very heavily on our partners to look after us through thick and thin. When I say, 'rely', I don't mean, being there on time etc. I mean emotionally. What's the most important part of a relationship? I feel it's being there for one another when you need someone. And they are. They always are. Never complaining, never something that's more important.. ..and our feelings are. Very important. They control how we do things, how well we do them, when, why.. feelings are what make up ourselves. Being able to say 'I have someone' is the best thing in the world. Love is THE most powerful emotion.. so being in love is the best thing in the world.. What do you think?

Does your mum know how much you like this girl and want to call her? I would have thought that if you let her know how serious you are then she'd understand. If you can't let her know right now, then I think you should call her. Go with what you think is right, because love is too precious to lose..

Ooh it sounds like you're in a very tricky situation here. Are you good enough friends to ask her to call YOU? If you have her mob number then txt her asking her to call maybe? If not, try to think when you'll next see her, it'll be much better if you say what you want to say face to face. Phone I suppose is ok - but when talking to someone about something like this - it's always good to see exactly how they react to certain things (expressions etc). Other than that I can't think of anything else you could do

I must say I mildly disagree with the last post. I feel that a relationship really never worked if you can't remain friends after. It's terrible when friends breakup over a relationship - no matter how long. And thereforeeee it's really up to stay friends. Keep in touch, occasionally go out together as friends, and don't dwell on the past! Don't lose a friend like that - because it sucks, I should know..

Ok - from a guys perspective.. Right now i'm in a very good relationship. I must say that all the time we've been together, i've been much happier - and now i can't imagine living life without her. When a guy says "I need you" it's really an over the top way of saying "I really don't want to live without you". That's what I think anyway. I know that I "need" my girlfriend and I hope she "needs" me - because we've been there a lot for each other in the past to support one another. thereforeeee it hurts SO bad when I remember that this december she's moving to New Zealand..

My god. You sound like you've had it pretty rough in life recently. If I were you i'd hang in there. If this guy bought an engagement ring, planning to use it, i can't believe that he's just stopped loving you. He probably felt enclosed, trapped in your relationship - and like he said, he probably needed a break. Give it time, and i'll be surprised if nothing happens. And remember - don't keep it bottled up. Talk to friends about it, and confide in those close to you - trust me, it really does help. In all, from what you're saying, I find it hard to believe that nothing is going to start up again. So hang in there and let us know what happens.

Hmm i don't really know. I'm going out with a girl in the year below me, but that's like, a four month difference. I spose i'd feel uncomfortable going out with anyone too much older or younger (+4-4 yrs i spose)

Ok firstly can i say, that right now i'm really depressed about this My girlfriend - who i think might be 'the one' is leaving england.. We've been friends for a while, and talked a lot about things that were important to us. She was going out with one of my best friends a while back, but in all honesty, he was being a bit of a bastard towards her (keeping her a secret etc). But what I felt really crossed the line was how he dumped her.. He sent her a text msg, in the middle of the night, telling her they were through - and that got to me because her and I were good friends at the time. And so we spoke on msn for a few weeks and met up at a music thingy we do every friday night. Quite suddenly, one evening, I realised that i actually really liked her. I met up with her and asked her out - and she accepted. I found out the next day that she really liked me - and she was close to asking me the same thing. We really hit it off - we're into the same music, have the same views on important issues - and generally enjoy being with each other. I saw her last night, tonight, and i'm seeing her tomorrow - it's almost as if we can't get enough of each other. But about three weeks ago, I found out the bad news.. Her parents, having dreamed of emigrating for years, suddenly decided that they were going to, in december. That's not the worst. They're emigrating to new zealand. Yes that's right, the girl i'm in love with, is moving to the furthest possible place from me in england!? It struck me how bad I'm going to feel when she goes a couple of weeks back. I just think I won't be able to get through this. I love her, I really do.. and to think that I can't speak to her everyday and see her every weekend, sends an unpleasant feeling down my spine, and I get a knot in my throat and stomach. Heh, i'm crying write now while writing this - and I can't control my emotion. And despite promising that distance won't defeat love - it will. And it's going to.. what the hell am I gonna do when she goes? I really need some advice about this people - we're gonna stay together when she moves - as a couple. Should I be so down about this?

If you're good friends then she'll have no problem with you telling her how you feel! Life is short and your time is running out! Make the most of it while it lasts! I dare say she feels the same way as you do. Go for it.. You'll regret it if you don't!

Do you really think this girl's gonna laugh at you for liking her? Do you really think she's gonna go around telling everyone? If yes, then surely you wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. I doubt your scouting technique will work to be honest. If she has feelings for you and she hasn't said anything to you, then she's hiding them and unless you talk to her, you'll never know. So decide right here and now, then go out, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I think the only advice anyone can give you here is that you NEED to try talking to him again. That's the only way you're going to find out what he thinks and it's the basic structure of any relationship. Hope this thing works out for you..

Ok. A few months ago my best mate started going out with this girl. I didn't know her that well back then but I knew who she was. I didn't hear much of them and presumed them happy together. About 2 months ago they broke up. Apparently he was a bit of a bastard - keeping her a secret - being generally idiotic. I didn't know this when I found out they'd broken up and it doesn't really matter anyway. Her and I became friends over MSN and soon met up. I told her how I felt and she said she felt the same - we started going out. My mate has told me he doesn't have a problem with it, but I still think there's tension between us. It's really difficult because I feel like i'm torn between my g/f or best mate. Any advice on what I should do?

Listen - I am telling this to you absolutely straight. ASK HER! You won't know until you do, and how bad would you feel if she met someone else in that time? It sounds to me like she wants to start something with you. About the b/f thing? It could be a number of different things. She may wll have a b/f but likes you instead. She could have made up the whole thing. But how are you going to find out!? Speak to her - when you're next alone together. Tell her how you feel - what do you have to lose?

What does this guy think he's playing at!? You're right in saying he's treating you badly - and if it was me i'd have ended the relationship a long time ago. As a guy I know that sometimes you wanna just let lose and have fun with other people, but your b/f needs to sort out his priorities. Try talking to him again. If that doesn't work, then i'd seriously consider ending the relationship. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but I think others will agree with me. Let me know what you think.

It's exellent!? I'm impressed with that..

I know how you feel right now. My girlfriend is moving to new zealand in december. If you're now going to college, then you only have a few years before your on your own, doing what you want to do. Why not look forward to moving nearer her, if not permanently then for a while? Think of the good things that are going to happen. Even if you seem at a dead end now, trust me as i speak from experience.. ..Things will look up. If you wanna talk some more, then email me dude.

Thanks EYESWIDESHUT, that's real good advice Appreciate your help. If anyone can add anything to that or give any other advice, it's v.much appreciated.. Thanks again..

I must say I disagree with that reply. The advice I stick by is that if it's going to happen, then it's going to happen. If you have just moved 2 hours away from this girl, then surely you have little to lose as friends. It sounds like you've been really good to her, supporting her while dating someone else, but the question you have to ask yourself now is: can you live with never knowing? If I were you, i'd make the best of love and life while they both last.. Best of luck dude..