Jump to content

clodhopper

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    198

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by clodhopper

  1. clodhopper
    What do you mean call him and have a talk?
  2. clodhopper
    I really miss my ex right now. We stopped being friends after trying for a while, and I accepted the fact that our friendship couldn't work, at least not right now. Over the last couple of days I haven't been thinking about losing the friendship or how much I wanna be friends, which I was thinking about before. Before I was just super sad that our friendship wasn't gonna work out... the last few days I've really missed HIM as a person, and I don't know what to do. Things keep popping into my mind... Can someone reply... any thoughts?? thanks.
  3. clodhopper
    If she doesn't know what she wants and she's confused, then contacting you is probably her just trying to figure it out. But if she really isn't interested... she could still wanna be friends... I'm not sure
  4. clodhopper
    honestly it could be either. she could genuinely be confused and not know what to tell you... or she could be avoiding you
  5. clodhopper
    I think you need to somehow find a way to be honest with her, without being mean... it is a sensitive issue after all. I don't think that you did anything wrong and I sure don't blame ya!! I just feel that even though she is the one with the problem, being really blunt and mean about it will just push her away... which is not what you wanna do if you still care about her and want to have sex with her in the future. Take advice from the previous posters too! Especially the one about showering together, trimming (a turn on)... telling her how awesome she smells and tastes, and possibly giving her the gels as a gift. Good luck
  6. clodhopper
    I would advise you to just be careful with your emotions and not get too carried away. I was in a similar situation a couple years ago when I met a guy online. We became really close and talked about everything and anything. I felt like I had known him for soooo long. We told each other we loved each other on a regular basis, and I actually believed it. We finally met in person after almost a year of contact online... physically he was what I expected from photos and being on webcam. Emotionally... that's where the problem came in. He was the same guy, the same thoughts and ideas and values... but he was very clingy. We started dating and he was just sooooooo clingy. I guess that's one of the things that you can't tell online because the person isn't there in person. If you wanna get away, you just go away. In person, doesn't work out that way. Needless to say it didn't work out for us in the end... Anyway not trying to say this won't work out. Just consider there are things about her that you might not be able to know or understand or experience fully online (like how she will be in person). I think it's important for you to set up a casual meeting with her and feel out the situation. I don't think it's wrong though to say that you love them... I sure did at the time. But things can't be 100% clear until you're in person interacting. Keep us updated, good luck!
  7. clodhopper
    I think that you should go with your gut, and from what you've said... seems like D is a better match. Also, I agree with a previous poster when they said that it might be better to just not lead B on (because although he says to be friends, he also said "or further" which leads me to believe he's interested in you romantically). I think you know what you should do... good luck
  8. clodhopper
    sounds like she's avoiding you if she keeps saying she'll just tell you later and never actually does...
  9. clodhopper
    so i've decided that we just can't fool around anymore ever. we're hardly even talking as it is... so i guess i shouldn't even be worrying about the sex part. the thing is... the past couple days i've missed him. it's been a long time since i've actually missed HIM and the relationship and the emotional stuff. i missed that so much at first, then i got through it and was more missing the physical closeness (hence the fooling around).... but now it's just i dunno... i can't stop thinking about the emotional stuff, like the memories... and how we used to be. i know it's dumb. i'm just in this really weird place right now... any advice?
  10. clodhopper
    I think it's very difficult to be friends with an ex, especially if it wasn't mutual and there are still feelings there on one side. My ex is actually good friends with the girl he was with before me. They were together for 3 years and lived together for 2 of those... and although the breakup was hard, they both realized they just weren't the right person for each other. After a little time and space and dating other people, they knew for sure they just weren't for each other. They have some great memories they will always share and their friendship just seems to work. I will admit that when I was with my ex, it bothered me A LOT that he was still friends with her. But now I get why it works in some of those rare cases when neither person has feelings. In my case I can't really be friends with my ex because I still have feelings for him somewhat... maybe someday when I don't, we can be friends.
  11. clodhopper
    Yup sounds like he had higher expectations for the night and you made it clear to him it wouldn't go that way... so maybe he rethought it and just didn't think he could handle really just being friends. As a previous poster said, these things DO take a lot longer than most people expect. Maybe he does want to be your friend, he just isn't ready to yet. Keep in mind you were together for a really long time and it's only been a few months. I was with my guy for 8 months and we broke up 6 months ago, and I feel stupid for not being over it since it's been so long (almost the amount of time we were actually together)... but fact is, I'm not. We talk occasionally online but that's about it. We tried to be friends like hanging out in person and it's just not happening, cuz I put more emphasis on the times, I get more emotional, I take things personally, etc. It kinda pushed him away cuz he saw it wasn't working... so unfortunately we're not really talking right now... but yeah just keep in mind these things take time. Good luck!!
  12. clodhopper
    Yeah you have to make yourself less available to him... guys like the confident independent woman... sweet and caring, yet not emotionally clingy... It's true -- we want what we can't have. And right now, he can have you in his life whenever he wants...
  13. clodhopper
    why did you break up before?? do you get the feeling that he wants to go out again, or is it just you that wants it?
  14. clodhopper
    I agree too. I've been going through a similar thing with my ex, where he acts like he's into me, then he doesn't wanna see me, then he wants to get together, then he wants space, then we have a lot of fun, then he doesn't think our friendship is gonna work out... Mind games aren't fun. I would move on and find someone that's really worth it.
  15. clodhopper
    I agree that you have to act like it's a new relationship with a new person... however this is really hard to do with an ex because of your history. Yes if you take time apart and the spark is rekindled you can have a relationship again possibly, but I just don't think it's possible for it to be completely 'new' because you already know so much about each other. My suggestions for now would just be to play it cool, no pressure, no asking her how she feels or what the status is on you guys... just taking it slow, hanging out... making her want to be around you and making her see why she liked you before... and just see where it goes. Watch her actions, but be sure not to put any pressure on her... keep us updated. Good luck.
  16. clodhopper
    Awwww it's nice to know that it does happen when it's right... thanks for sharing DN! Maybe it does just take some people a while to catch up and then you're on the same page and it can work out. Anyway just wanted to say thanks for sharing... I wasn't trying to say in my post that you should automatically not get back with your ex if they want to come back to you (because I know I would be very tempted to go back to my ex if he wanted)... I just wanted the original poster to be careful.
  17. clodhopper
    I'd really be careful in this situation. As easy as it is to get back with an ex who you still may have feelings for... it's not always right. I was thinking about this last night when my roommate asked me what I would do if my ex came back and said he wanted me back. A couple months ago I would have just welcomed him automatically no questions asked because I missed him so much. NOW my response to my roommate was just "why?"... I would really wonder why my ex was coming back to me... it doesn't make sense after what's happened. He left me because he didn't want me and he obviously wanted someone better or someone different. So if he wasn't content with who I was then, why would he be content with who I am now???? Of course I fantasize about my ex coming back and saying he realized he made a mistake... but that won't happen. And if it ever did, it wouldn't make sense for him to just suddenly want me again...
  18. clodhopper
    yeah Ilse is right -- people that are the jokers in a crowd tend to have something else going on inside that they're trying to cover up. i find with my ex boyfriend, in a group he tries so much to be the cool funny one that i think he's really insecure about himself. my friends have also commented on it too... just makes you wonder what they're trying to hide by telling all these jokes. consider it.
  19. clodhopper
    I think you should maybe tell her how when she jokes ALL the time, it's really hard when you're having a bad day. Tell her it's good that she can joke around but it makes it hard for you to talk to her if you need to say something because you're afraid of just being laughed at. Hopefully she'll understand and respect your needs... good luck
  20. clodhopper
    I totally agree! I don't mind saying sorry because I don't have a problem admitting I was wrong... and 'I love you' is hard to say when you've loved someone and lost them... it's hard to say it again to someone else cuz you're scared of losing them too
  21. clodhopper
    Hey Ilse -- I've been trying to do that now for a while, I mean be angry instead of sad. I'm away at school but I call my mom when I'm down about my situation and she always says "enough is enough, he isn't worth this, you're way too sad and you shouldn't have the power to take your happiness away from you" What you said about your dad really reminded me of what my mom said, like that I have to get on with my life and use my energy to improve myself and my life... I'm really having a tough time with it though... any words of wisdom?? I woke up today and it hit me like a brick wall -- I miss him terribly. And I was pushing it away...
  22. clodhopper
    you definitely deserve to be with someone that respects and deserves you. i wouldn't read too much into this if i were you. but i DO understand how difficult it is to move on from someone you've loved and still love. even after all you've been through and all the hurt and pain, you'll probably always have a special place for him in your heart. just be careful. dont read too much into this. it's probably that he was just thinking about you, who knows the real reasons though. only he does. i just dont want you to read too much into it in case it's really nothing. i dont want you to get hurt again, thats all. good luck
  23. clodhopper
    I think everyone has to experience getting their heart broken to know what it is to truly live. I hoped that I would never have my heart broken, but I have, and although it's been one of the hardest experiences of my life, it is completely necessary for everyone to go through this. Life is about happiness and heartbreak, love and losing love...
  24. clodhopper
    i really like your poem. it's actually kinda what i've been thinking about today a bit. sad cuz i don't know what my ex is thinking or doing... and i go into dreamland and we're together and it's just fixed... and i wake up and i'm alone keep up the good work
  25. clodhopper
    so i really feel like all hope is completely lost 100% on us. i dont see us being together again, and as much as it hurts, it doesnt hurt as much as it used to. this sounds really bad... but i just wanna get drunk and have one last night with him. the last time we fooled around was totally out of the blue, yet so different from the other times. it was a lot more fun. i wasnt thinking like i did the other times. it was just... i dunno...
×
×
  • Create New...