atigdng

yes...if he is that type of person, that is just wrong. Doesn't sound like there will ever be a long term anything out of this so why hurt yourself more?

Where do I start? I am in a long distance relationship too, and our lives hang by a phone line (seriously) I have had your sort of problem too. I can almost garuntee you that it isn't that he doesn't want to call you back there could be lots of reasons... Sometimes it can be very late and when he is waiting to call you back etc... he falls asleep... or he forgot that there was something he had to do that he hadn't thought of before... My advice is look on the bright side... I have been in my relationship for 1 year now, that has happened more than a dozen times, she sometimes will just hang up for no reason... etc. And it can really get you down because those phone calls are at the moment holding your relationship together! But every time I have felt like she had done something wrong, I always assumed to much, there was always some problem of some sort that couldn't wait. I have also been one that has to stay up really late before I can give my gf a call, and let ke tell you if it is already 2 in the morning and your waiting for a certain period of time to give someone a call or him waiting at a certain time you can easily fall asleep. What I would do is the next time he calls tell him how much you were upset, he'll like to hear that, and make sure you have a very open communication with him. (It is even hard to trust someone when your far away) Ways I have learned to keep me falling asleep is to set my alarm for whenever I need to call, even if I never even fall asleep it is there. Just in case! I have had many cases where I was extremely upset about something like that, but when I talked to her about it there was nothing at all intended to hurt me or forgeting sth. Most likely you will feel perfectly normal when you talk to him again, and you can laugh together at how you were upset when he didn't call you. Remember it takes allot more work for LDR's to work! But if you feel he's the one they are definitly worth the effort!

He sounds like a good guy, I think you should be open to him like you have just said, communication is key and it appears that he cares for you so I am sure he would think it great if you feel comfortable talking about it, maybe he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to scare you away. Talk to him about it! "People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do"

You don't happen to have any friends or sane family members nearby? If you can't handle the abuse, then it may just be better to try to move out, you say the cost of living is high where you live, have you thought of moving? Have you tried to communicate this to your mother that if she abuses you then your gone? It sounds like the best thing is to work it out somehow with your mom, if she does feel sorry for her trying to kill you then there must be some way to make her understand that your her kid and it is illegal and wrong to abuse you.

I think you're on the right track, you shouldn't beg him to get married, nor should you neglect to mention that key point. I have a girlfriend of a year, and the best thing to do with any problem is to talk openly about it. I think if he read your post right here, he would most likely understand. Communication is THE most important thing in a relationship, you should talk to him about it, how old is he though? He may be hoping to stay single for a while longer, he may be afraid that he will be missing out on something like you mentioned. But in reality he wouldn't be missing out on anything, he would be gaining some IMO. That is just my $.02. Hope I helped.

As for the age question she is 18, so a little on the young side. I think you both are probably right, I have recently been working on the communication problem for when I am gone, and I am at the moment trying to get a web cam of sorts set up also, but so far not looking to good. I know it may be funny about what I said about the hormones and all but I am just trying to tell myself that is all it is, or more like it isn't a permenent state of mind that she has. It is kind of funny that you mention being faithful in keeping contact, I have been and just the other day mentioned that maybe I would have to lessen the # of calls that I make. I beg to differ about that, but it may not help that much also having that "distraction" right now. But I am sure you are right about the hormones being on both sides of the fence. Well I just talked to her, and you all seem to be more correct, she is just taking a breather right now, I am pretty hopeful that it will be okay, but I am not sure how to act if it is ok. Right now she is just not sure. ah well, I guess it is all part of having a "relationship" never seems like you go that long without someone wanting to test it. Thanks for the comments I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. She said I can call her tonight (china time) so I will be posting more than likely after that. Oh one more thing, she mentioned that she is not the problem, but I am and I need to stop thinking like she is the problem. atigndg

Well, where do I start? I have been in a very good relationship for about 1 year now that has been a very hard thing for me. It has been very bumpy, there were times where I wasn't aloud to talk to her or there were times that I said that we just wouldn't work out, etc. but somehow we never broke up, just over came the problems and worked things out. Here is my situation. I live in China, and have lived there for quite a while, but this next june I will have to leave China for a year, because of my dads work and my visa/passport needing renewel and me and my gf have always before know that I would have to leave for a year or so. And she was always saying that she would wait for me and she trusted me to come back and that all she wanted was me. I always was saying the same thing too. Now we don't live near each other and I hardly ever get to see her physically, it is more of a long distance relationship. but she is a very stubborn girl and has been able to handle any stiuation and remained true. I just went and saw here for 3 days in middle feb. and we have never been happier to see each other, never been better, and she was very happy. And I had called her everyday since then. Basically she doesn't want me to go back to america, but before, she knew that I had no choice and that if I stayed then my parents would be exxtremely displeased and she didn't want that. we didn't want any bad relations with family later on. And that I shouldn't go see her. That was what we had desided. yesterday when I was talking to her, my dad walked in the room and was unhappy so I hanged up and talked to him etc. I guess she didn't like that. But when I gave here a call just a couple of hours ago, she thinks that I don't really think she is the most important because I am not going to see her and am not staying in China. she started crying and saying that she doesn't believe that I will come back, etc. and just started breaking all the promises she has ever made, and this is after having what she and I thought were the best month we have had in our relationship. She says I don't really care for her, she says she doesn't want me, but then she said a second later that all she wants is me, and that she doesn't want me to go back to america. Now she doesn't seem to remember all of the logical reasons why I have to leave for 1 year. Now she says she doesn't trust anyone, and that her heart is dead etc. Now the weird thing is, she says the reason for her new found thinking or crazyness is that last night she had a dream and some people who she doesn't even know or hasn't seen before told her not to believe me, and she says they were really serious and said that she shouldn't believe what I say. I have never cheated or said something I didnt mean or lied to her before and she had always trusted me. Now she desides to believe some stranger in a dream, so now she wants to die and wants me to forget her and she doesn't believe or trust anyone. I know for a fact that she still wants me, I can tell, and that she is just really emotional that I won't be able to see her for a year. And she kept on saying that she is affraid, very affraid of me leaving and that I just have to stay. Which she knows I can't. So how and why all of the sudden is she like this? I know that females have hormones lots of them, and sometimes they really don't think straight, but this is a big blow to me and my life, I can hardly see the keys as I type, I told her that I everything I said before is still true and through our whole relationship I have been true to my word. But why this right now? Right when were doing great? I We literally had no secrets. I am so very concerned and confused. I am aware that allot of break ups quickly get back together after the other regains consciousness, I just don't know what to think. Would appreciate really any comments advice sympothy and any help at all. Thanks

I believe that if you have someone that you believe is the one, and that they are committed to you, then your 8 month wait is a peace of cake. Me personally I am going to have to wait another 2 years and I believe that every minute is worth the wait if you have found the one, and it will make everything just that much more special when the time comes. You should be able to wait till september, really it is no problem. If you stand this test of time, then what can stop you? Time is the biggest and most challenging thing in a relationship. I hope that you can wait!

I think your opinion of right and wrong comes into play as you try to listen to both sides of your opinions and that of your lover and take it from there. I think every persons love is different, were all different, but it is similar. I think it is ok to advice your mate, as long as it is done without being mean. Yes, you can but if it was "real" the first time, besides the possibility that the other one died, I would think that you should only "love" once. You should always be able to share with the other. Once someone starts claming up, your relationship will deterierate.

If it's a girl... got to be Lydia, if a boy... I don't know... Peregrin? Meriadoc? Frodo? I like Benjamin. only real one.

lol right on! Couldn't of said it better.

Yes, like switch said 90% mental, believe me making out is plenty enough.

Guys are meant to be dominant over women, they may want you to be nice but I think they also like responsibility and you making up lots of new ideas or always making the plans, because that is the way that is most natural, not that they don't like men who care what they think, not at all, they always love it when you listen to them and be "nice" etc. But also being dominant doesn't mean controlling. They still have there own opinion and plans. It is you who should normally be the deciding factor though.

I am not a good writer and it is pretty hard to translate it all in english. so bare with me. Okay, I haven't made a thread in a long time, but if anyone remembers, then it is the same girl as before. But now she is my gf of 6 months, but I haven't seen here for over 4 months. Here is my dilema. One of here friends a couple of days before christmas asked if she could be his gf. She obviously said no, because she already has me, but she ahsn't eevn told anyone besides here parents that she evn has a bf, I called her on christmas eve and I knew something was up, she was really emotional etc. so I finally got here to tell me that this one guy friend of heres actually wanted to step there relationship up. He has been her friend since elementry school and they have lived in the same town for practically there whole life, except she has been in Beijing for the past 3 years, met me etc. and now went home, and all her "old friends" are interested in here now cause they are all much older now, and she is an obvious first choice. You may wonder why she hasn't told her other friends. It is because, she says if my parents don't agree that we can be togther then she won't tell anyone, till they agree. She said if I went to see here come chinese new year then she would tell all of her guy and girl friends. That was a couple of months ago, now my parents said I could go visit her. But I want to make sure that I am not hurting her or anyone else. She says that she doesn't want anyone else and of course won't cheat me. But also is a little emotional after some long time good friend, has asked her. And others are kind of going in the direction of trying there luck. To make a long story short, there is still like 45 days till I see here next, and her friends don't realise that they are hurting her! And she is really shy, so wont say. I guess, advice is apppreciated but I more just typed this out for my own clarification of thought.

There are a couple of options for how you can feel in this situation. a: Blame yourself: That is the first natural conclussion because if you had done what you were saying t wouldn't happen. b: blame the dude who was drunk who actually crashed: Since you are a real friend of course you wouldn't do that. c: Don't blane anyone: There is a reason for everything, and it is all meant for good. This happened for reasons that you don't know. But you can try and learn from this, it would be horrible if nobody took thought of how why, then no one would ever learn that way. You have to figure out what your supposed to learn, this didn't happen on accident. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that it is good. I am saying that the biggest lessons we learn in life are those taught from the negative experience. Sure you can learn well from good examples and events, but more likely, the hurtful things will strike sloser to home. I am sorry for your lose. And I hope that you won't have a life long guilt, for your friend wouldn't want that I think. "Life is just two dates, with a dash in between. What are you going to do with yours?" Sorry for typing so much, I hope I helped. God bless!