TrueHeart

Well... as far as preventing it.. My ex-financee has the same problem.. but yes, it is pre-cum.. Basically its just your bodies way of "lubing itself" in preparation for the horizontal mambo... Remember our bodies are designed for it.. you doing that is the same way a girl gets when she gets excited... Her body is preparing itself...

Well, I don't know about all that.. I actually heard a rumor once that the reason they started to make a practice out of circumsizing males from the US was to cut back on their masterbation... Like thats helped any...

There is always an insecurity on both ends. Anyone who says its easier to be the dumpee and not the dumper, or vice versa, obviously doesn't know what they're talking about, or has feelings as deep as a puddle. I have been on both ends of the spectrum, and I can assure you its not fun on either side.. Being the dumper though, you have more of a driving force to want to move on because that person hurt you, so you got rid of them-- rather than being the dumpee where you may or may not be expecting the sudden break, and might be left at a fork in the road... So even though for either party, the direction they want at the time might be clearer and more obvious-- the pressure and insecurities of themselves, and whether they did the right thing or not, always weighs heavy on their hearts when they find their own solitude.

I say anyone ( and I mean anyone ) who says/does things to see your reaction in a deceptive manner is not a friend at all... That makes them a malicious, immature person. He set you up to believe that you were having a conversation where you could be open, when in fact, he was being a wolf in sheeps clothing. No one who cares for you, or claims to love you--- would EVER do that..

Again, depending on the strength of it, yes... you can.. The pulsations are easily felt, just like you can feel the contractions of a women when she climaxes... Its the same sensation. Now, if a pulsation constitutes how many 'squirts'-- than yes.. we can feel the throbbing.

Thanks folks-- all you're doing is really confirming my gut feelings.. As I said before, when I was talking to him, I felt completely uncomforted, unsatisfied and completely like a fool. Thats why I felt like I made a mistake and wanted to leave the conversation immediately. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy....

I've sent you a PM explaining the majority of the story up until today's events... I know that Jenna is emotionally dependant on Adam. She absolutely will not let go of him, only because I believe this one thing, and I will share it with you all: Adam has everything he does want, despite what he says that he doesn't know what he wants... Of course! When you have EVERYTHING anyways, why want something else? Why complicate it? Why buy the cow, when the milk is free. What upset me the most, and what put the cherry on the cake was that he was indeed sorry---- but not that he did it.. He was sorry he got caught.. or more accurately, that I found out FIRST, and that I got hurt.... NOT sorry he did it... which is the whole issue and the clout of my argument and feelings. Despite if I did or DID NOT walk by the window that night and see what I saw... the point is... the choice was still made.. LOONG before I decided to come over.. It is that I still have to remember... thats my driving force..

I can truly relate to that, Ant. When a couple breaks up, I think everyone has a fear of being replaced or being completely removed from the picture without reason. People, by nature, are habitual... and when you get into a relationship for sooo long, you get used to it... thereforeeee, everything becomes so comfortable-- a 'comfort zone' as you so put it... There are a lot of things that you'll do, that you're not used to dong alone... Movies, holidays... they just seem so empty without your partner. I know that my XBF and I are on a comfort zone level. He is at a stage in his life, that he cannot and will not find anyone else who can stand him but me. Thus, he masks this reason, and continues to want to hang out, and at one point, use me for a sexual tension reliever. It wasn't until I really didn't like the whole thing that I put my foot down. Not because I found someone else or anything, but more or less-- it just became a moot point to continue the friendship when the feelings of BF/GF are still there.. It inevitably would never work, and you're right-- makes you end up feeling like crap. Bottom line: NO one wants to feel rejected, replaced or anything like that. People don't handle being rejected at all well. I think she might be checking on you because she genuinely cares, so I wouldn't read too much into it because you might end up disappointing yourself in the end. If what she has to say is THAT important, believe me, she'll want to talk to you about it.

And I perfectly agree. We weren't BF/GF when I caught him, but we were exclusively dating, if that makes any sense. If we were to be with other people, it would only be common courtesy to let the other partner know... well, he didn't fulfill that end of the deal... thats what happened. The reason I needed to be alone after the fact, was that I realized that whatever he could say, wouldn't make me feel any better... so I left. You're right... there are major trust issues, and especially if he's still involved with his XGF. Thats why I felt me being there, doing what I did-- was a complete mistake. Sadly enough... I think I'm content with settling that my efforts to try to win him over a few weeks ago-- fell on deaf ears.. I know he loves me, and he told me he does... but I cannot drive myself crazy anymore..

OH I didn't say it really wasn't possible.. but women have to concentrate MORE on masterbating than men-- I think anyways. You're right.. I do feel guilty about doing it in certain places.. For example, had no problems in my apartment.. and I did it anywhere there too... but when I moved back home with my parents for a while-- there was NO way! I couldn't concentrate... eventually I got it... but it has to be SOO quiet in the house... I'm sorry.. but to hear my Mom and Dad talking while I'm trying to -- relieve some tension, is a total mood killer...

Well put.. That never stopped me from being intimate with my fiancee, even know I know it wasn't the norm. He was born in Alaska in 1978, and I guess at the time there, they didn't circumsize males unless it was a culteral or religious thing.. I did love him very much, and you're right... it doesn't matter if it is or not. Usually men who have not been circumsized are usually very hygenic too-- they have to be.

Unless you are with someone you don't love, and thats considered and insult, I also do not see how it is showing a woman you don't respect them-- unless your intention is to purposely get them pregnant or something. But to answer the original poster's question.. it can also depend on the strength of the man's climax... Generally, there is the pulsating sensation that we feel when you ejaculate... I find it a turn on sometimes. Of course, for anyone you're with, its always strongly recommended you know she's on birth control of some kind.. otherwise, you're playing with fire.

Folks- As you know, my XXBF and I rekindled, and I recently caught him with his XGF in bed. We fought, I ignored him for almost a week now, he sincerely said he was sorry-- the whole song and dance. We started hanging out again, but with him under the understanding that I won't sleep with him, or anything like that.. I suppose I wanted to see his reaction to the whole thing. It started off a few days ago.. He acted over-indulging, extremely affectionate and caring. Almost doting. Still, I would tell him that things haven't changed and I am still upset with him.. He'd lower his head but then continue a few moments later. He almost acted like everything was back to normal again. I asked him if I had done/said anything that made him think that it was ok--- and he said no. I have been extremely skeptical around him, especially everytime the phone rings.. I was at his house watching a movie with him and his roomie... and the phone rang (right around the time Jenna would normally call)-- He didn't answer it but commented that he wished she'd stop calling (it was the 3rd time she called in 20 minutes)-- I said "why don't you pick up the phone and just say that then?"-- he didn't reply, and all it did was confirm to me that nothing changed... He left his cell phone at his parents house the next day, and it didn't have any charge in it.. He left it for one whole day, but managed to find a pay phone and his parents phone to call me to say he's thinking of me. ((pretty much anythign he does RIGHT NOW I really don't take seriously)) I met him at his work last night because I needed to talk to him about the arrangement we had. When he got his cell phone, he had 15 missed calls and 7 voice messages!! About 13 were from Jenna, and 5 voice mails she left in one day! He said to me that he had to talk to her because she was getting "psychotic"-- whatever that meant. I gave him the poem I was going to give him and said that I had no use for it, but I worked hard on it and wanted him to have it anyway. He read it, and then replied to me he didn't know what to say. I didn't expect him to really have an answer. He told me that he wanted me to know that it was HIM that needs the changing not ME. He said I've worked hard and come far, and I'm perfect-- but he still doesn't know what he wants... I told him that its perfectly acceptable. I told him I was scared too, and that I don't want to share him for any reason. I did tell him that its not an ultimatum in anyway, but I'm telling him my intent and feelings. Suddenly, I just wanted to be alone after I talked to him a bit, even though our conversation wasn't satisfying anything. I knew he had a phone call to make (to Jenna)-- which convinced me that what I did was partially a mistake. I really dont' want to be around him right now-- and I think its time to initiate the NC rule... That way I can determine if what I got was closure or a new horizon...

.. and it couldn't be more true...

Well.. I really don't think that you need to even pursue this man any further. Its clear that he doesn't want to be with you, and has no problem hurting you. You're better off without him.. You have every right to be upset because you're hurt.. but I say its high time to just tell him that its HIS loss not yours... You are better than this... and you know it...

The most important thing you can ever learn Jake is that you have finally deciphered that you are in love with who he WAS not who he IS.. That very thing might help you get over the fact that he's moved and you haven't yet. We cannot help NOT running into someone in a public place, but make sure that if you do ever see him, if he gets to you that badly, just walk out or find another place to be until it doesnt bother you to be around him any longer (may take a few weeks or so) You deserve someone who will respect your feelings, ex-lover or not, or even as a friend. What kind of friend would go out of their way to purposely make you feel bad about yourself, especially after telling you he loved you..?? Not a very good one. Its good you are meeting other people and new friends, especially ones that do not know him and are YOUR friends alone. Keep up the great work, you're doing just fine!!

I have heard of that too. It also depends how you broke up and how long you've been apart. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. But just because it happens to a sister or brother, doesn't mean it will happen with him.. so its good you are prepared to expect whatever and to not lead yourself into believing something that may not happen at all. The biggest disappointments come from those who expect something, and then it doesn't come. Its not really about being too optomistic or anything like that, more or less its being realistic thats the key. Some things are physical and emotional impossibilities, some aren't. I sincerely hope things work out for you in that department. I am in the same boat, and I hope that things might transpire the same in my situation.. However, I have stopped kidding myself, and stopped chasing that notion... then, and only then will it truly find you-- when you least expect it... What a wonderful surprise that would be, eh?

I completely agree. The one thing that people have difficulty in making home-made sex-toys, is keeping them sanitized. It is better to really buy something from an adult store just to keep things sterile. I had a friend of mine who was into all that stuff and made something from home. They used it once, and then 'cleaned' it and put it away for next time. Well, when that happened, his wife got a really bad combo of a yeast infection and a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) which both have to do with bacteria getting up in the genitals. Very painful and a long process to remedy. Its not really a matter that they didn't clean it, as they didn't store it well enough. He was really too embarrassed to tell me what it was, but he did frown against never making another one... they just stuck to their store-bought ones... Be careful if you do!

Well, I think I speak for most women in saying its not as easy for us to masterbate as it is for you guys. I recently just started doing it about 6 months ago, I gave it a try-- it was hard at first, but with a little concentration-- a miracle happened! Women will most of the time, do it in bed- either with their hands or a vibrator. Its the most comfortable place to do it, and the most private. Sometimes, while taking a bath, it might occur, but I find it easier to do while I'm in bed after I've waken up or just before I go to sleep.

The G-spot is rather hard to find, but its easy because of the clitorus. Its located in the same area, well inside your gal. but its on the top.. like they said. Another easy way to find it is to put a finger inside her (gently and always make sure your hands are clean!!) and feel around on the 'ceiling' where you should feel some ridges inside. How you stimulate that G-spot is like you are telling someone to 'come here'-- in otherwords, turn your finger so your palm is facing up and gently massage the inside wall.. It is easier to have a woman orgasm through clitoral stimulation than G-spot stimulation.. but it takes practice. There are thousands of nerve endings in the clitorus, so its easier to stimulate. If you master the stimulation of the G-spot, you will be a god among women! Let her do the talking, just like you, she knows what feels best!

It is always hard at this stage of the game.. But sometimes its better to hope for the best and expect the worst... That way you're not disappointed as much. Him IM'ing you, is good, but don't read too much into it. AFter 2 weeks of NC, you should really start to see that.. but technically, NC means NO CONTACT, and he IM'ed you... so its really only been a week. I really feel for you.. I can't get passed even a few days without a phone call, but I've heard people do it for much longer, even longer than a few weeks. I find its easier to pass the time if I'm not by myself. Make some plans with some GF's or treat yourself to a movie-- ANYTHING to get you out of the house, doing things, that doesn't have you think about him.

Well, on the down-side, there were 10 years between my XBF and I.. I was 21 and he was 31 when we started dating. He had been through soo much in his life, it almost took the 'youth' out of him. I was new to the scene with bars, and the whole thing.. It was difficult... but we had a good relationship while it lasted..

I think you have the right idea going on with you not talking to him. NC is a good thing, it gives both parties time to 'miss' eachother (persay) and to really reflect on themselves. Why he cheated on you too (even though it was only making out)-- sounded like he was using the whole "you did it, so can I" against you-- and also while him having the upperhand on you.. What you're doing is for the best... Just make sure you don't go over to his house uninvited though...

That explains things just a little bit better. If you feel better about the NC, I wouldn't want an email like that either. Its hard to say why she's done it, but if its something she's done before with cheating, that makes more sense. I know its hard to break from someone who you've had marital plans with, I have been there.. Its hard because the final frontier is marriage in a relationship. Best thing to do is just not focus on what you lost... but focus on what you learned...

Average time is usually 10-15 minutes. But if its shorter or longer, it is ok, and depends on the mood of the male. I will admit that I was giving my XBF a BJ once and it took close to 45 minutes! I was more or less getting very tired and kind of frustrated because I felt I was doing something wrong-- and he wasn't saying anything to me. My advice if you're going to be longer than 20-25 minutes TOPS, alteast give your girl a little encouragement or help (if needed) that she's doing a good job..... And don't forget to reciprocate! I've never minded if it was quick either, only because it makes me feel like I'm doing a great job!