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Thread: Could you forgive being cheated on?

  1. #1
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    Could you forgive being cheated on?

    This is in no way looking for advice based on my ex cheating on me (that was given in a specific thread), but for you personally, if you discovered that your boyfriend. girlfriend, partner, husband or wife was cheating on you/had cheated on you, would you forgive them or would you be unable to?

    Personally I've always believed in giving second chances, but when it comes to being unfaithful then I couldn't - even if your partner told you about it or worst still, didn't!

    Over to you ladies and gents.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    I could forgive a one night drunken screwup, especially if they confessed right away.

    An affair? No way. Involves emotions, deception, and intent.

  3. #3
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    me? no.
    it doesn't mean i hate the other person. As I believe, cheating is the result fo whatever wasn't happening in the relationship. So everybody is complicit to a certain degree.

    But coudl i continue in a relationship with somebody that cheated on me? No. Never.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I'd be unable to, simply because I'd never feel comfortable/secure either waiting for the next shoe to drop, and/or constantly looking over my shoulder.

    The odds of regaining full trust again are slim to none, (imo).
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 01-17-2019 at 04:19 PM.

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  6. #5
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    Nope. Trust would be gone.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    No way, once they cheat all trust is gone

  8. #7
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Yes, with some caveats.

    Generally speaking I think we have to forgive, for ourselves and our own peace, so forgiveness is not the same as staying together. So on those grounds I would work to forgive just about any form of infidelity.

    In terms of forgiving and staying together: yes, I'm 100 percent certain I have that in me. Would probably find it relatively "easy," all things considered, if it was a drunken ONS, much more challenging if it was a protracted affair. But not impossible. Would depend on the circumstances.

    I get that this is the ultimate dealbreaker for most people, but personally I'm amazed at the sh*t people will rationalize putting up with inside a relationship under the "in good times and bad umbrella" while pulling the rip cord because their spouse slept with someone else a few times. And I don't mean that to sound flip. I think a lot of relationships genuinely grow stronger by working through that sh*t together, and believe infidelity can present a similar opportunity.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I'm in MLD's camp. While I can't confidently say I could "forgive" (as in keep them around) in any scenario, I'd do so in the case of a drunken hookup much sooner than a concerted effort of any kind. Much simpler and easier for someone to not get tanked around attractive folks or in precarious settings while their partner isn't around than it is to bank on them figuring out and fixing why it is they cope with relationship stresses in a way that compels them to cheat. And even with the former, it would take my partner fully realizing and being on-board with the notion of, "Hey... I'm a ****ty drunk, so that means I don't get drunk like that again." I don't have any interest in making demands or policing behavior, particularly when it's a common-sense solution one should come to and volunteer themselves.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Not without couples counselling to figure out why it happened and what we BOTH have to do in order to go forward together with our needs being met and trust being re-established.

  11. #10
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    I may be able to forgive them, BUT that doesn't mean I'll ever go back to them. Ever.

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