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About thisisrichey

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  1. Of course the X popped up again - you keep giving him reason to. He'll keep popping up until you give him no reason to. He knows how to push your buttons and you LET HIM do it - so it'll continue as long as you both are willing to play this game. So.. cut him off. You and X are going nowhere - that's why you're ex's and have remained it. it's so easy to get greedy and "look a gift horse in the mouth" - but it's foolish to.
  2. To answer your question: ask her out. If she says no again - then she doesn't see you as a potential bf. Stop having feelings for her and notice other girls. Best thing to do is to quit obssessing over girls (or a girl) and have a fun life and get busy doing stuff you love. The more fun and better life yo have, the most you get THEM to come to YOU.... instead of you sitting at home waiting to text them 24/7 and then looking a bit desperate and basically pleading with them (aka begging) to try and get them to go out with you. (yes i'm exagerrating, but that is essentially what this is...)
  3. As I like to put it - it's never the incident itself that matters - it's what hapens in the aftermath that matters. That she postponed the date is not an issue. It's how she explains it or what she does after postponing the date that matters. Life happens. Plans chaging happens. don't conclude anythign until you see what she says or does about it after she postpones it. (If she's already rescheduled the date to get together another time - you're gold. It just means somethign came up.... sue her..) It's the AFTERMATH that tells you everything, not the incident itself - ALWAYS!
  4. let it go. learn to let it go. most important thing any of us can learn to do. THEN.. learn how to spot it for next time so yo udont' allow it ever again. You did what you had to at the time. It served a purpose for you at the time. Now it's time to move on. No biggie. Let it go.
  5. Firstly. it's not IRRATIONAL to not like them. So stop beating yourself up for not liking her. It's okay to not like people. In fact many people don't deserved to be liked these days lol. Part 2 is the more important part though... to be jealous of her because you don't like her. This part is what you should work on and concern yourself with. It's hard - because it's against human nature to not get jealous or mad when somebdoy you see as a bad person and dislikeable person is "getting away with it" and yo udon't know why (welcome to the modern world.... happens all over the place...) The b
  6. ha. I believe most people 40+ and back to dating have some bit of "emotionally unavailable" in them - not just men. I see a LOT of it in females too. So.. as they say.. quit worrying about other people's houses and just worry about your own house. nobody likes a judgmental person who only wants to see other people's shortcomings when we all have our own. Good luck.
  7. So.. because you are the more "needy" one and she is the more "independent" one - I believe you will need to make the first step and be less "needy". This shows her you are willing to do what it takes to make HER happy. I believe once you're able to do and learn this she will then miss you more and make an effort to be more affectionate towards you to help your "neediness." Do that a couple times and I think you'll find your balance. I wouldn't worry about the "I would trust that you would have the courage to leave this relationship if it doesn't meet your needs.." - that's just how "indepe
  8. no.. she's not trying to make you jealous. she just doesn't see you like that. a girl interested and wanting you, would not go out and get ANOTHER BOYFRIEND and have a relationship with somebody else - to get YOU jealous. that's not how it works. Nor would they ignore you and not follow thru on wanting to see you if they TRULY wanted to see you. she has zero for you romantically. accept that and move on.
  9. you are both being immature. "I ignored him and he still didn't message me" - wreaks of immaturity on both sides. Let this one go. Neither of you trust each other and neither of you has changed to give any indication it'll be any different if you get together. As for him. My assessment of him is that he's one that needs the "excitement" and the "newness" of relationships to excite him and then gets bored with the actual relationship. So he's not one you want to be with anyway. He's already proven all he does is dream and try to make things exciting, and then eventually gets bored to find s
  10. This relationship is too far damaged to work. Here is the problem from his side: 1. you broke up with him initially (so you were the one that jumped on a whim first). 2. you continue to judge and illegitimized every single one of his feelings.. anything he does not to your satisfaction is him being "irrational" or "carrying resentment for you". But you never self-criticize in the same fashion. 3. you only suddenly "worked it out" when he decided to leave you - yes.. "how convenient.." You have put him thru the roller coaster ringer and so there is zero trust anymore. And when you've lost
  11. oh and if you don't agree with this then you need to be more specific and honest in your postings.... "hosts that provide coffee and cake only - and only when offered take it or leave it" so you can get the exact clientele you want to do business with - which i YOUR EVERY RIGHT to do so and nothign wrong with that. BUT BE UPFRONT about that. (I say the above in exagerration to make a point.. please dont' take that seriously... but defintiely be more clear about what the house rules are in general and what the expectations are that you have or want to maintain for your business if that's w
  12. you're being too picky and fussy. The world is diverse, with lots of diverse teachings and cultures, customs, and beliefs. don't assume everybody was brought up or brought up to think like you. don't assume that the way YOU were brought up is the only and right way. As long as they're being respectful and good guests and not tearing up your house and paying on time and being respectful to your property - yo dont' owe them anymore than that, and they don't owe you anymore than that. This is passive-aggressive behavior and that's not healthy.. To do something to initiate a specific reactio
  13. you will notice that any negatives you are saying about this man are based on what others think (with a small part of that being how you look to others, which again is putting the power in what others think).... that's a bad way to live man - and it never works out good when you do that. Let's just supposed that you met somebody instead that everybody else in the world approves of... say like a lawyer or celebrity.. but he mistreats you. Is that what you wnat? Somebody everybody else approves of and sees as good for you but then mistreats you? The entire world approved of Bill Cosby for dec
  14. you have to have your end game in mind and work towards it. And that MUST include cutting out any dependency on ANYBODY ELSE (let alone your parents). This is what happens when you create a dependency on anybody else. Now I get it, sometimes we just have to be dependent. Granted. But we must also work every livign day with every bit of energy to break free of that dependence at every moment until it's done. And like others said there ARE OPTIONS to choosing to be dependent on your parents - you can choose to be dependent on more healthy people and make more healthy arrangements. YOU CONTROL
  15. i only skimmed thru your stuff so take this with a grain of salt. 1. your love for somebody can't be about what they can provide to you (how many kids but what time at what age,e tc.) it needs to be about what you are together and how happy you are together. All that other stuff is not about relatoinship - it's about agenda. And agenda's always f up relationships. 2. as i said.. its about how happy you are together with nothing else factoring in (like babies, timing, years, etc.) so you have to make sure you are doing what is best and makes you happiest and what situation is conducive to t
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