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Metaltwin70

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Everything posted by Metaltwin70

  1. 'I can't believe you people who are telling him to stop being 'insecure' or 'unbearable'. This SUCKS! Someone clearing reading your message and deciding not to answer back is extremely frustrating and rude! Some of you people clearly have never been left on read.' ___________ Thank you. And this is from someone born in 1970. Being left on read IS extremely frustrating and rude. And no woman truly interested in a man will ever leave him on read. And re: good morning texts.. what's wrong with those? I find them sweet. OP.. she's not all that interested in you I'm afraid. She just didn't want to come out and say it - who would? 'Do you like me?' 'Ehm. No. Sorry'. She's showing you with her behaviour that she's not into you enough to date you. One spontaneous night of talking, she kind of went with the flow but..isn't interested in continuing.. Sorry. :(
  2. 'If someone breaks your boundaries over and over and over ....just break up, right?' ________ What, break up because bloke watches porn every now and then? You can't be serious surely?
  3. This is not so much 'communication issues' as total lack of regard and respect for your relationship/for you as his partner. I'm the most forgiving and liberal person on this planet; this SO wouldn't wash with me. I find what he does insulting. It IS common courtesy to let your partner know if you're going to be hours late, end of. It's not about independence or being a grown up - he doesn't think you deserve a few word text saying 'sorry darling, will be home 8.30, went for a drink with *name*'?? His fingers don't work? You know what, I'm getting mad on your behalf whilst typing this!! My husband would so be dead meat if he did this more than once. I find it very hard to believe that someone who considers themselves to be in a committed relationship with you, who loves and respects you.. would behave in this way.
  4. 'Are you saying it's his fault his partner cheated?' ___________ Not at all. What I'm saying is the opposite actually: cheating often has nothing much to do with how you do or don't feel about your partner. I won't elaborate because I don't want to start a pointless debate. I've read enough of the 'you cheated = you vile monster' type threads on here to go there.
  5. Bigboss, Most affairs have nothing to do with your partner and everything to do with yourSELF. Take it from someone who knows what she's talking about.
  6. Mare, Please be sure to remember to be VERY VERY VERY VEEERRYYYYYYY politically correct. Sarcasm. That's all I'm saying.
  7. OP, I get it. I totally do. I was exactly like you when I was dating. I needed pet names and beautiful words and constant communication. I was constantly overthinking and catastrophising. 'Why hasn't he texted yet?? It's 11 am!!'. Thing is though, you WILL come across as needy and yes, pathetic, if you impose your communication style onto her. So if I were you I'd wait for her to initiate the texting. Suffer in silence, so to speak, and in the meantime try and find activities to distract you and keep you busy. Personally..I've always found a certain level of neediness appealing in a partner.
  8. 'If a guy sent me that, and I liked him, I would have liked it. It's not what you said, it's that it came from the wrong person, for her. She doesn't like you like that. Sorry.' __________ Agree. From someone you don't fancy in the slightest - ugh, cringe. From someone you're totally into: awww sweeetneeessss.
  9. 'If he ended the relationship with the OP after seeing her thread, he clearly did not have strong feelings for her. It certainly did not take much. His priority is with the ex wife.' ___________ Agree.
  10. 'But you came onto a message board to ask advice' ____________ So let me get this straight. You really think people come to boards like these to let a bunch of complete strangers million miles away determine the course of their lives? Come on. Most posters know exactly what they need to/will do in their specific situation, excluding the 15-17 y olds. Most posters simply want to talk, vent, and YES, get validation for their feelings. Advice board my ****. This is a place to talk. On the guise of 'what should I do'. People come here to be listened to, not lectured, ridiculed or judged - which many regular posters here tend to do. I am not at all surprised by the OP's reaction. OP, I am very happy to hear that you've ended things with him. A relationship that's been on and off for 10 years is not what you want to be part of. I do wish you all the best.
  11. 'It sounds like they are too close for comfort but with their age and length of their marriage that is unlikely to change. It sounds more like they have become some sort of best friends and still depend on each other a lot more than "cheating".' ________________ Agree. A friend of mine's on various dating sites at the moment, at 41. To say that pickings are slim in that age group would be a major understatement. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like if she were 20 years older. OP c can of course spend the next couple of years working on her fears and insecurities and hit the sites at 65. Sarcasm. When I divorced my ex-h - we'd only been together 5 years - I'd call him, go and see him, spend nights at his - without the slightest thought of ever having any intimacy with him. He was just this person who knew me well and to whose presence in my life I was used at the time. This went on for at least 3 years. It is possible that this is the bf's situation. Not saying it is, and not saying she should stay. Just saying, this was my situation.
  12. 'You're only 22 and by developing a crush on someone else, it's a huge sign that you're not ready for a serious commitment or a fiancee. That's not a bad thing, you're still young and you're not ready for marriage. __________ Agree, 100%. Whether you tell bf or not..is really up to you. But, you've outgrown him..why cling to what's effectively in the past? At your age, the world's your oyster.
  13. 'If you were married or living as married consistently, then I might think a bit different but still not expect anything' _____________ 10 years in, YOU BET I'd expect my life partner to help me out financially as and when required - and I'd extend the same to him. Jesus people. Enough of this 'independent' c**p. Life's ABOUT A BILLION TIMES BETTER AND EASIER as part of a committed loving couple and let's please drop the PC version!!! Miranda: I agree that the issue here is not whether he's prepared to help you out financially but whether yours is a committed loving relationship. Based on what you posted.. I don't think it is.
  14. I've had bad insomnia for coming up to 20 years. God knows I know all about it. In my case - I had to go on prescription meds to cope and am still on them/will be on them for the rest of my life. And if one more person tells me to try melatonin or warm milk (BLEUGHHGHG) before bed I'll scream!
  15. 'Wow, you people are very judgemental and must’ve never made a mistake in your lives ever. Must be awesome to be so perfect. I had a job lined up at a new company but they’re having problems with licensing and so forth. Still have the job lined up for when they sort their problems out. Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to and how youre promised. Must be nice to always have things work out for you. My job was unsafe and causing health problems but I really do like how you people jump the gun and start pointing fingers. You must have great lives, sitting on your computers commenting on other people’s problems. I’m sure you have successful, fulfilling relationships. Thank you for the responses from the people not ASSuming what is actually going here because after all, I’m sure that’s what this site is supposed to be about; help and guidance for those seeking it.' _____________________________ Miranda, Unfortunately the more I read here on ENA, the more I come to the conclusion that it consists of these uber-perfect 'I have always done everything right' people - a specimen of which I've YET to meet in real life. Don't take it to heart. IMHO, after 10 years together - in a solid relationship and not an on an off one - where two people consider themselves life partners and share everything in life as they would were they husband and wife - there should be no question of a more well-off party loaning money to the other. Actually, scratch that. Giving, not loaning. I'd be very upset if my partner of 10 years refused to help me out financially despite having the funds at his disposal. Old fashioned? Yes. Don't give a d*** - that's how I see things. It sounds to me as though he doesn't consider you a life partner at all...
  16. 'Yeah because in the history of the world no man or woman has let attraction get in the way of good judgement.' ___________ Oh no. Of course not. Nothing's ever about attraction, good looks. It's all about those OTHER important qualities. :) Thank you Sportster. Sometimes I feel as though I'm nuts. Comments like these kind of reassure me that I'm not.
  17. 'Women tend to hold stability/provider capabilities higher than looks. ' ______________ Some women, yes. Certainly not all women. :)
  18. 'Personally I prefer to be faithful to only one man and stay with him and only him but then that is because I'm the loyal, committed type who wants to settle down and stay with one man forever. I would never stay with a man who was dating another woman because I would feel like a meaningless object to him' _____________ God yes. Absolutely. Stamped 'March 2019'. March 1994 though? By golly would I laugh in your face.. Playing around with several blokes /chicks at the time is for the young. I say let her play whilst she can. Because she won't be able to forever.
  19. Katrina, Keith Flint of The Prodigy killed himself/overdosed in London on Monday morning. Husband and I love/d him and the band... :(((((( He was 49.. And now Luke Perry. I wasn't a huge fan. But man.. gone just like that?? at 52???? :(((((((((((( My husband's turning 52 in July....... RIP.. To the 'be single for a year and work on yourself' brigade: we aren't guaranteed even tomorrow. Let alone a year from now. Life's for living d*** it. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
  20. No it's not. Of course it's not bad. Not going to go all 'when I was young' on you but yep, I've been known to 'see' two+ at the same time - because I could, at the time, in my previous life. Because I was young. Enjoy it for what it is, whilst you can.
  21. 'I suggest taking any of those jobs you can get. Build some money in the bank account.' ________ Ray, Sorry but..bloke tried killing himself two weeks ago.... don't think he's anywhere near right state to be out job-hunting.. No-one would expect him to here. He'd have an NHS (National Health Service - socialised free healthcare) mental health team looking after him..
  22. 'I did not dislike him. Just felt neutral.' __________ I mean.. even if you said, 'OMG. It was incredible. I fell in lust at first sight. He is so exactly my kind of gorgeous. And we had such a mental/emotional connection. He is so my kind of person. And he listened to me and asked questions the entire time. And he asked me out by text for the day after tomorrow'.. I'd still say 'bloke has too much baggage'.. But Alex, 'didn't dislike' PLUS baggage..? Surely not?
  23. I'm so sorry. So so sorry. :( Here in the UK, we have resources for this kind of crisis. Free healthcare, housing benefit, social security, CAB - Citizen's Advice Bureau. Do you have an equivalent of CAB in the US? A mental health crisis line? A number you can ring if you're suicidal? Can you make an emergency appointment with your GP? Surely that won't cost you anything? I'm not familiar with how healthcare works in the US, I only know that you have to have employment-based health insurance to get decent health care. What happens if you don't have a job though? You need to talk to someone asap.
  24. There are never any guarantees, but if you love each other and trust each other, your relationship has the potential of lasting a lifetime! I know many others disagree with my (my bf's and my) approach to our relationship, but it just works so well for us this way. ________________________________ I don't disagree at all. This is exactly how it worked for husband and I. Here in Europe, exclusivity is assumed from the start. We didn't actually ever, at any stage, discuss anything. We just totally went with the flow, both him and I. We moved in together at about 2.5 years. The rest is history. The issue is though, at 7 months..he showed me with every action he took in relation to me that I was 'it' for him. I never had to doubt him.
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