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Thread: Now What?

  1. #21
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    It's an awful, awful way to live.

    What if he texts someone when you're not around? What if he sets up an account on another dating site? What if he uses Snapchat, where messages disappear?

    Now, not to say he would do these things...but how would you know? Are you completely sure that after you "forgive" him, you won't be wondering what he's doing when you're not around, or what he might be up to in ways you can't check up on?

    Maya Angelou said when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

  2. #22
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    He reached out to me, idk why. Yes, he ran but he is back. I won't know why until we talk.
    I'm sorry, but according to your beginning post you sent him a "Goodbye letter," which he responded to, therefore he didn't reach out.

    Either way, this is one of the points we're trying to show you, and of course I understand that this is not what you want to hear.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    I'm sorry, but according to your beginning post you sent him a "Goodbye letter," which he responded to, therefore he didn't reach out.

    Either way, this is one of the points we're trying to show you, and of course I understand that this is not what you want to hear.
    Yes, but he ignored my texts for a week before I stopped texting him. He could have ignored the letter.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    It's an awful, awful way to live.

    What if he texts someone when you're not around? What if he sets up an account on another dating site? What if he uses Snapchat, where messages disappear?

    Now, not to say he would do these things...but how would you know? Are you completely sure that after you "forgive" him, you won't be wondering what he's doing when you're not around, or what he might be up to in ways you can't check up on?

    Maya Angelou said when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    And that's why I said it would be a long process. I wouldn't trust him immediately. Trust can be rebuild through consistency and reliability. But it doesnt matter because, as I said, I doubt he's going to be able to do all that needs to he done.

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  6. #25
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    Guys, my heart is broken. I just want to see what he says. I know this situation is hopeless.

  7. #26
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    It sounds like you have your mind made up. I presume if he asks for another chance you will give him one.

    If you feel like this man is the man you've been waiting for all your life, no one will be able to convince you otherwise.

    I wish you luck. I've been in your situation in the past and it was truly the most stressful, anxiety-filled 4 years of my life. I resorted to checking his phone, his computer, doing 3 am drive bys, shoot, I even checked his bed sheets. I had to be treated by my doctor for anxiety until he did me the ultimate favor and broke up with me for, yes, one of the women he'd been cheating on me with. Magically, as soon as he dumped me my anxiety disappeared. I've been off the medication for 9 years and never have needed it again.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by JustMizz
    And that's why I said it would be a long process. I wouldn't trust him immediately. Trust can be rebuild through consistency and reliability. But it doesnt matter because, as I said, I doubt he's going to be able to do all that needs to he done.
    Why would you want a man with whom you'd need to "rebuild" trust? Why not choose a man who has never and would never behave in this manner in the first place?

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why would you want a man with whom you'd need to "rebuild" trust? Why not choose a man who has never and would never behave in this manner in the first place?
    Because I love him. But I'm not going to run right back to him just because he asks. I wont be his "friend" if that's what he proposes, either.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by JustMizz
    Because I love him. But I'm not going to run right back to him just because he asks. I wont be his "friend" if that's what he proposes, either.
    You love him. Do you love yourself? Do you know your worth?

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    You love him. Do you love yourself? Do you know your worth?
    Yes, I do. I admit, I struggle with it, at times. But, I do love myself and I know what I deserve.

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