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Neo7

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  1. Don't call him, see him, talk to him. Take his name out of your cell phone, off your IM list etc. Get rid of pictures, anything he gave you. Go to the gym, take up a hobby and stay busy. And last come on this board, read others post and pass along some of the wisdom you've developed from dealing with these situations. Do all these things, and you'll be over him sooner that you think. I PROMISE!
  2. After every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So stick your chest out, keep your chin up, and handle it. -Tupac Shakur Definitely tough stuff you're dealing with. It can't be easy getting hit with all of this stuff at once. But remember the above quote. Life is unpredictable, but there will be better days
  3. I'll be perfectly honest. He came over last night because he obviously didn't get any play from the girl he was with that night and went somewhere where he knew he could get it. Sorry but guys do that, sometimes if we have something on our mind (sex) and we're drunk, we call up who we know we can get some from. Don't look into this at all as him wanting to get back with you. The sad thing is you let him to do it. He knows you want him back and used that to his advantage to get what he wanted. The red flags should off gone off in your head after the fact, him telling you not to be confused. Right now this dudes got control over you b/c he knows you still want him. I'm telling you dont have sex with him again, it's not gonna get him back, in fact if anything he may lose respect for you. Sorry if this came off as mean, but I"m a guy and I know what this dudes thinking because 1. I've done this before 2. I know how we think when the little heads in control. I do want him back but I dont want to get hurt if he is just using me.
  4. Hey man, I know what you mean, and you couldn't be more correct about having hope and staying friends. Listen, I've had hope and tried to do the "friend thing" for the last year and a half. It still sucks, and I question myself quite often if being friends is even worth it at this point. If you chooose to go the friend route and keep hope, I'll have you know it doesn't get that much easier b/c you never really are able to heal b/c you still see her, talk to her, and know whats going on in her life. The question you need to ask yourself is this What if her contant with you slowly but surely begins to diminish b/c of her current feelings for this new guy she is seeing? You say it can't happen, Yes it can and possibly will. If you break off all contact you dont' have to worry about that happening and won't see it first hand, you being replaced. However, if you choose to keep contact and remain friends you will witness it first hand and that's when ithe friend this is no fun anymore. Listen, girls contanstly need attention and affection they need to feel someone wants them. If she isn't being courted you'll probably be the one she calls and talks with, you'll be her confidant for all her problems. Basically like her BF again but without the privaleges i call it "old mr. reliable" if you will. Once someone shows interest and she can talk with them your despensable, it sucks. IF that person goes, or isnt' available, she'll call "old mr. reliable" again (you). I'm not trying to discourage you from being friends I'm just explaining to you everythign I've dealt with with trying the whole friend thing. It sucks man. I basically didn't talk to her for a couple months, saw other chicks, did my thing, and felt great. Low and behold she calls, and calls, and says she misses me, thinks about me etc. etc. I let her back in and BAM she starts dating someone else all of a sudden no more calls (at least not as many). Its BS and makes you feel horrible, mind games girls play them. Do what you want bud, if its meant to be it will happen. Ultimately that is what you have to believe. Hope this helped bud. Let me know what you decide to do
  5. Only advice I can give is you have to make it clear how committed you are to her. Words won't do, you have to show her. I dont' know how, I dont' know your relationship. If you can prove that to her, you may get her committment.
  6. A year and a half after the fact and I still have days like these. Days where she's in your thoughts and you can't get her out. I swear, if I had a dollar for all the days like these. You go through the constant reminising of the good times, then the things you wish you would of done differently. Then you start realizing how foolish you were at 20 enjoying college, partying, not understanding your actions at the time(and no I never cheated). Now on to realizing how much of a man you've become, now at 22 on the doorstep of graduation. Only if she could see how far I've come! Days like this, bad days, makes you want to go to bed, get up and start a new day in the morning. You start digging deeper and analyzing more. Why does she still call me when she's sad? Why does she still tell me she thinks about me? I really think finding the "one" so to speak and holding on to her, is all about timing. Between the ages 18-22 or so maybe even 18-25 it's such a dynamic period in one's life. You're constantly changing its difficult to stay with one person that entire time becasue you both are changing. Thats where the problems arise. I know the love was there most defintely.Thats what made it so hard for both of us. People would come up and tell me or her how obvious it was we loved each other so much and had a great relationship. Part of me still thinks the love is there. But due to stubborness, and not wanting to be wrong, it's tough. Some girls when they make up there mind they don't want go back, hard headed maybe, if you will, and the door remains closed to a new beginning. It's not fair. What if we would of gotten together now. What if I would of realized and understood then what I understand now. Would it make a difference? I'll go to bed and I'll have a dream about her, at least twice a week. Other girls will do the trick for me for sometime. But they'll end up being so much like her and falling short in so many areas it ends up being some imitation of her, when all I really want is the real thing. The funny thing is, according to her friends the guy she's seeing now is a spitting image of me looks, personality, demanor etc. Well there's only one me, the first time around is always the best, and I'm irreplacable! Maybe there will be a happy ending, who knows. Thanks for listening,Until another day my friends... NEO
  7. She sends me an email today saying ...Hey I'm in Bermuda now (for spring break) I've been thinking about you a lot since I've been here. I'm just checking my email and decided to drop you a line. What the heck. I'm thinking she just wants attention. How would you guys and gals interpret this one?
  8. Alright now I know full well as everyone else on this board probably knows is that you should never hold your breath for you ex assuming you'll get back together.Obviously, it prevents you from letting go. I'm curious though how often do people get back together. I really dont know. I've seen some people do it and they didn' miss a beat and i've see others try to get there girl or guy back to no avail. So how often does it happen?
  9. What does it mean when you see your ex, and she talks about stuff that went on when you were together. Funny stuff, good times etc. Probably means nothing I'm just curious
  10. jujigatame I agree man. I can't stand when love is thrown around myself. I agree lust is powerful but give it time and you'll see that's all it is/was LUST. To me you know you're in love if you start doing things you normally wouldn't do. Thats how I knew. If you ask yourself a question and can answer it honestly then maybe that is another indicator. The question being "if this person were to leave my life and never return, could I live w/out them. IF you say no, probably love.
  11. You may be able to get a restraing order on your old boyfriend. If he was physically abusive towards you in the past, I'm pretty sure you can get one. Even if he wasn't if he is harassing you now, I'm sure there is something you can do. Your still young so you definitely should be more careful. I'm not saying quit having sex but there are a lot of ways you can protect yourself from getting pregnant. The Pill, Condoms etc. I would highly recommend birth control you really dont need anymore kids. Thats great that you want to get married just make sure you know what your getting yourself into. Like I said you're only 16 there is still a lot of stuff you may want to see and experience and with two kids, and a husband at age 16 that kind of limits your options for some time. Please recognize the fact that you are young though and their are other people that may now what is best for you like your MOM and DAD. Listen to them. YOu may not want to but Trust me there are looking out for you best interests and you'll realize that is a few years. Good LUCK!
  12. I'm sorry I didn't mean to be inconsiderate or mean. But I really don't think my advice was in any way negative or an attempt to make cookiegirl feel worse. If that is how it was interpreted I do apologize, but that was not the intention. And I do believe you are wrong in regards to the 18 year old being put in Jail. The punishment for statutory rape do very from state to state but for the most part they are pretty stringent. It makes no difference if there was consent or not. She is a minor 14 and the male is 18. I don't care what state you're from, that is illegal. Unless your married but that isnt' the case. Now if cookiegirl isnt' from the United States then obviously that changes things.
  13. First, you listen to your mom. You are 14 she knows a bit more about life than you. YOu should not see this 18 year old anymore. Not sure where your from but if your 14 and he's 18 this guy SHOULD be in JAIL. 2nd I think you should abort this pregnancy or at least mull over the options of adoption. Not sure which one would be easier for you to handle. But you DO NOT need a child at age 14. Its not fair to you, your family, and it sure isn't fair to the child. It sounds like you have some sefl esteem problems I would consider some counseling. IF you dont' take any of this advice at LEAST listen to the part about not seeing this guy ANYMORE. This dude can't be any good.
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