I will make this as short as possible because if it's long, no one will read it. Anyway, I'm a freshman in college. The first semester hasn't been that easy. A month in to school my girlfriend and i broke up. We broke up because we were 3000 miles away from each other. Now to anyone reading this, you might think I am crazy to make that long distance of a relationship work. I wanted to, she didn't. I told her the last thing I wanted to do was to keep her from being herself. I told her that because I loved her so so much. This happened at th end of September 2002. If you would let me rewind a couple months back, You would be able to us as very happy and very in love. Although we were only together for 4 months our relationship progressed extremely quickly. We did everything together and were together always. She was my best friend and we were virtually identical.
Our relationship was very very mature for two 18 years olds to have and mantain. We never faught or agruged, we just had a good time. When we left for school her mom called me and thanked me for being so nice and kind to daughter. I was amazed she did that. We broke up a month after that. I was crushed because there was nothing i could to save this amazing bond we had.
I rarely talked to her until i saw her at thanksgiving we were at a friends house and we sat down to talk. She virtually a different person, she was cold and harsh, but for no reason. When we broke up she said she was scared she wasn't going to find another guy like me, i asked her if she meant that and she said yes, then i asked her if she still felt that way, she said "do you want my honest answer" i said yes, she then looked me into the eyes like she did so many times before with such loving tenderness, but this time with such coldness and said, "no". she asked if i had been on any dates and i said no, i am not ready, i asked her the same thing, she then said with the same coldness, "i've moved on". I sat there for an hour and a half with the girl i was still madly in love with and watch her become this different person. two weeks later i get am email from her saying she was sorry for how she acted towards me, but everything she said was how she felt. She then went on to tell me, be myself, and get involved in things and how i don't need her or anyone to be myself. I don't know who she has become, but it hasn't been for the best. It has been 4 months since we broke up and I still think about her a lot and want to know how she is doing, I still care about her and I am not jelious if she is seeing someone, i want her to be happy. I had this image in my head of her being my best friend if we broke up but to send me an email telling me what to with my life after the fact it was over and the way she sat there and disrespected me like that,as if i was some guy she meet in a bar 5 minutes prior instead of respecting our relationship and our friendship that we had. What happened to just loving and caring about someone and wanted then in your life. The pain still lingers because if someone who you care and love so much is in your life one minute and not the next, it's bizarre. How do i get rid of the pain??? I guess thats all of it, thanks for reading....