brookieeeeb Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I’m 18 and he’s 19. A few months ago, I found out my boyfriend was lying to me about where he was going for a month straight, and I was to naive to even notice. He had told me he was going to his male friends house when he was actually going to see one of his female coworkers. He had told her he was single and talking to other girls so that he could go over there and hang out with her. He would be gone for days at a time (he lives with me) and he’d sometimes take days to reply. He would go see movies with her, met most of her family, and played house with her while his actual girlfriend was at home. He told me the only reason he’d go there was to use her playstation and because she was “the only friend he had.” and that was his reasoning behind telling her he was as single She ended up catching feelings for him (surprise surprise) and they ended up kissing (from what I know). Despite what he did to me, I took him back because I truly love him and I thought he was the guy I wanted to marry. Since then, I’ve caught him asking other attractive females to hang out and go to the gym with him and I’ve caught him texting his ex (it was “casual”). I don’t know what to do. Every time I see him texting someone or whenever he gets a notification I feel like he’s texting other women and potentially cheating on me. I get really insecure and upset and I convince myself that he just be texting other girls. I’m really at a loss and I have no idea what to do. Thanks for reading Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 Dump him and kick him out. He's using you for a place to live but he doesn't love you, or have any respect for you at all. He's already cheated on you once (that you know of). It is going to happen again, if it isn't already. Link to comment
bluecastle Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 Sorry about all this, truly. I think, however, that you may know exactly what to do right now, while also being scared to do it. Yes, I'm talking about ending this relationship, so you can heal and connect with a man who treats you well and respects you, as you deserve. Your boyfriend is not that man—far, far from it—as he has spent a good portion of your relationship showing you. Aside from this being complicated emotionally, are there any logistical complications in terms of ending it? Could you afford to live where you live right now on your own? Do you have somewhere else you could go for a bit? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 He didnt just kiss that girl, surely you know that. If you dont, you are very naive. Kick his lying cheating a$$ to the curb. Do you really want a life like this? I doubt it. You can do better. This is not love. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I’m 18 and he’s 19. A few months ago, I found out my boyfriend was lying to me about where he was going for a month straight, and I was to naive to even notice. He had told me he was going to his male friends house when he was actually going to see one of his female coworkers. He had told her he was single and talking to other girls so that he could go over there and hang out with her. He would be gone for days at a time (he lives with me) and he’d sometimes take days to reply. He would go see movies with her, met most of her family, and played house with her while his actual girlfriend was at home. He told me the only reason he’d go there was to use her playstation and because she was “the only friend he had.” and that was his reasoning behind telling her he was as single She ended up catching feelings for him (surprise surprise) and they ended up kissing (from what I know). Despite what he did to me, I took him back because I truly love him and I thought he was the guy I wanted to marry. Since then, I’ve caught him asking other attractive females to hang out and go to the gym with him and I’ve caught him texting his ex (it was “casual”). I don’t know what to do. Every time I see him texting someone or whenever he gets a notification I feel like he’s texting other women and potentially cheating on me. I get really insecure and upset and I convince myself that he just be texting other girls. I’m really at a loss and I have no idea what to do. Thanks for reading I'm sorry, there is no potentially in the phrase, he is cheating on you. If this did not deal with your wounded heart, it would be laughable to hear such a lame excuse as to be missing for days to play games on PlayStation. He is not an honorable person. He lies to you, cheats, and is not mature enough for you to consider him as a life partner. The character issues will not improve with time. As for yourself, you are so young. Please dump this guy and grow into the person you want to be before locking into a life commitment to someone else. You have your whole life ahead of you. Disentangled yourself from this fool. Find romance later once you know more wisdom about it. Link to comment
brookieeeeb Posted April 3, 2020 Author Share Posted April 3, 2020 My mom was generous enough to let him stay here as he got kicked out of his home. His excuse for his actions were that he’s young and this is his first serious relationship as well. He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me but it’s so hard to shake this feeling. this is my first serious relationship and I’d feel so empty without him, but on the other hand I hate feeling this way and constantly feeling suspicious Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 He is using you and your family as a homeless shelter. Tell him to go home or live with his gf.My mom was generous enough to let him stay here as he got kicked out of his home. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 So you want to be married to a guy who has affairs? He's using you for a free place to stay. Why do you believe you deserve a lying, using cheater for a husband? PS: Why did he get kicked out of his previous home? Link to comment
smackie9 Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 He's cheating...what else do you need to know? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 You both are far too young to be in a serious relationship. I mean, you might feel you're ready, but the majority of people your age are not...your boyfriend being one of them. He wants to explore, he wants to "sow his wild oats", so to speak. whatever his feelings are for you and however much you guilt or punish him, it won't change the fact. He will just hide it better when he is chatting with these other girls or sneaking off to go see them. You've been given a huge insight into what he wants and to what he is up to. You need to start realizing that it's not going to change. To be honest, I'm not even sure it should. He is young, he wants to explore. Being married and being with one partner is more for people in their later 20's,...but not at this age. I think for both your sakes, it's best you let him go or at least realize that more girls will be in his life. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me Oh, hon. This boy doesn't have the slightest clue what love is. He's not going to marry you. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 My mom was generous enough to let him stay here as he got kicked out of his home. His excuse for his actions were that he’s young and this is his first serious relationship as well. He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me but it’s so hard to shake this feeling. this is my first serious relationship and I’d feel so empty without him, but on the other hand I hate feeling this way and constantly feeling suspicious Your young age is showing. You lack the maturity to make good decisions in matters of love, you just dont have the needed experience and that comes with age and growth as a person. He's a liar and a cheat, you know this. You are better off on your own than with a person like this. Dont sell yourself short by settling for this loser. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 I get really insecure and upset and I convince myself that he just be texting other girls. You're not insecure. He's messing around. I’m really at a loss and I have no idea what to do. Come on, girl. You do know what to do. Dump his ass. This is not your future husband. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 He’s not even boyfriend material much less husband material kick his ass to the curb and if he has nowhere to live that’s his problem. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 Does your mom know about his lying and cheating? You're better off raising your standards and sending this Bozo on his merry little way. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 Don't marry him! Never trust liars, cheaters, gaslighters, narcissists, sociopaths and those deceitful characteristic traits! Beware and run for the hills! Those are all serious mental disorders for which there is no cure. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 He is cheating on you! Why haven't you kicked him out and removed him from your life? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 They are bf/gf. He's not your bf he's a freeloading lowlife.He would go see movies with her, met most of her family, and played house with her Link to comment
Lambert Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 See the situation for what it is. His words mean nothing. Look at his actions. These are his decisions and he is capable of controlling himself... These are his choices! You are being blinded by love fir him. But he's playing you. He will not change. The good news is, the world is full of other, BETTER guys. Work on yourself and build your own self worth. A guy that stays away for days, doesn't text or call back in a reasonable time, isn't giving you enough. The sad truth is, some people are users. He is a young guy, sounds like from a bad family, has no stability. We tend to think, he would appreciate what you and your mom are doing. Unfortunately, a person that grew up in a messed up family, with no where to go, at 19, will take what he can to survive. And just might not know how to accept or have loyalty, They are in survival mode. Food, clothing, shelter, aka the hierarchy of needs. A person in survival mode, struggling to have any of these basic needs met, has capacity for nothing else. So he's using you, the other girl for a play station, he "has no friends".... These are all clear signs the guy is a project not a boyfriend. I'm all for giving anyone a chance and or a helping hand, but they have to give their share, hold up their end, otherwise, they're just a USER! If you can't stand up for yourself, stand up for your mom and don't let her kindness be taken advantage of. Do it today. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Food, clothing, shelter, aka the hierarchy of needs. A person in survival mode, struggling to have any of these basic needs met, has capacity for nothing else. So he's using you, the other girl for a play station, he "has no friends".... These are all clear signs the guy is a project not a boyfriend. Very true!! Link to comment
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