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I can’t trust my boyfriend


brookieeeeb

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I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I’m 18 and he’s 19.

 

A few months ago, I found out my boyfriend was lying to me about where he was going for a month straight, and I was to naive to even notice. He had told me he was going to his male friends house when he was actually going to see one of his female coworkers. He had told her he was single and talking to other girls so that he could go over there and hang out with her. He would be gone for days at a time (he lives with me) and he’d sometimes take days to reply. He would go see movies with her, met most of her family, and played house with her while his actual girlfriend was at home. He told me the only reason he’d go there was to use her playstation and because she was “the only friend he had.” and that was his reasoning behind telling her he was as single She ended up catching feelings for him (surprise surprise) and they ended up kissing (from what I know). Despite what he did to me, I took him back because I truly love him and I thought he was the guy I wanted to marry. Since then, I’ve caught him asking other attractive females to hang out and go to the gym with him and I’ve caught him texting his ex (it was “casual”). I don’t know what to do. Every time I see him texting someone or whenever he gets a notification I feel like he’s texting other women and potentially cheating on me. I get really insecure and upset and I convince myself that he just be texting other girls. I’m really at a loss and I have no idea what to do. Thanks for reading

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Sorry about all this, truly.

 

I think, however, that you may know exactly what to do right now, while also being scared to do it. Yes, I'm talking about ending this relationship, so you can heal and connect with a man who treats you well and respects you, as you deserve. Your boyfriend is not that man—far, far from it—as he has spent a good portion of your relationship showing you.

 

Aside from this being complicated emotionally, are there any logistical complications in terms of ending it? Could you afford to live where you live right now on your own? Do you have somewhere else you could go for a bit?

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I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I’m 18 and he’s 19.

 

A few months ago, I found out my boyfriend was lying to me about where he was going for a month straight, and I was to naive to even notice. He had told me he was going to his male friends house when he was actually going to see one of his female coworkers. He had told her he was single and talking to other girls so that he could go over there and hang out with her. He would be gone for days at a time (he lives with me) and he’d sometimes take days to reply. He would go see movies with her, met most of her family, and played house with her while his actual girlfriend was at home. He told me the only reason he’d go there was to use her playstation and because she was “the only friend he had.” and that was his reasoning behind telling her he was as single She ended up catching feelings for him (surprise surprise) and they ended up kissing (from what I know). Despite what he did to me, I took him back because I truly love him and I thought he was the guy I wanted to marry. Since then, I’ve caught him asking other attractive females to hang out and go to the gym with him and I’ve caught him texting his ex (it was “casual”). I don’t know what to do. Every time I see him texting someone or whenever he gets a notification I feel like he’s texting other women and potentially cheating on me. I get really insecure and upset and I convince myself that he just be texting other girls. I’m really at a loss and I have no idea what to do. Thanks for reading

 

I'm sorry, there is no potentially in the phrase, he is cheating on you.

 

If this did not deal with your wounded heart, it would be laughable to hear such a lame excuse as to be missing for days to play games on PlayStation.

 

He is not an honorable person. He lies to you, cheats, and is not mature enough for you to consider him as a life partner.

 

The character issues will not improve with time.

 

As for yourself, you are so young. Please dump this guy and grow into the person you want to be before locking into a life commitment to someone else.

 

You have your whole life ahead of you. Disentangled yourself from this fool.

 

Find romance later once you know more wisdom about it.

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My mom was generous enough to let him stay here as he got kicked out of his home. His excuse for his actions were that he’s young and this is his first serious relationship as well. He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me but it’s so hard to shake this feeling. this is my first serious relationship and I’d feel so empty without him, but on the other hand I hate feeling this way and constantly feeling suspicious

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You both are far too young to be in a serious relationship. I mean, you might feel you're ready, but the majority of people your age are not...your boyfriend being one of them.

 

He wants to explore, he wants to "sow his wild oats", so to speak. whatever his feelings are for you and however much you guilt or punish him, it won't change the fact.

He will just hide it better when he is chatting with these other girls or sneaking off to go see them.

 

You've been given a huge insight into what he wants and to what he is up to. You need to start realizing that it's not going to change. To be honest, I'm not even sure it should. He is young, he wants to explore. Being married and being with one partner is more for people in their later 20's,...but not at this age.

 

I think for both your sakes, it's best you let him go or at least realize that more girls will be in his life.

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My mom was generous enough to let him stay here as he got kicked out of his home. His excuse for his actions were that he’s young and this is his first serious relationship as well. He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me but it’s so hard to shake this feeling. this is my first serious relationship and I’d feel so empty without him, but on the other hand I hate feeling this way and constantly feeling suspicious

 

Your young age is showing. You lack the maturity to make good decisions in matters of love, you just dont have the needed experience and that comes with age and growth as a person. He's a liar and a cheat, you know this. You are better off on your own than with a person like this. Dont sell yourself short by settling for this loser.

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I get really insecure and upset and I convince myself that he just be texting other girls.

 

You're not insecure. He's messing around.

 

I’m really at a loss and I have no idea what to do.

 

Come on, girl. You do know what to do. Dump his ass. This is not your future husband.

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See the situation for what it is. His words mean nothing. Look at his actions. These are his decisions and he is capable of controlling himself... These are his choices!

 

You are being blinded by love fir him. But he's playing you. He will not change.

 

The good news is, the world is full of other, BETTER guys. Work on yourself and build your own self worth. A guy that stays away for days, doesn't text or call back in a reasonable time, isn't giving you enough.

 

The sad truth is, some people are users. He is a young guy, sounds like from a bad family, has no stability.

 

We tend to think, he would appreciate what you and your mom are doing. Unfortunately, a person that grew up in a messed up family, with no where to go, at 19, will take what he can to survive. And just might not know how to accept or have loyalty, They are in survival mode.

 

Food, clothing, shelter, aka the hierarchy of needs. A person in survival mode, struggling to have any of these basic needs met, has capacity for nothing else. So he's using you, the other girl for a play station, he "has no friends".... These are all clear signs the guy is a project not a boyfriend.

 

I'm all for giving anyone a chance and or a helping hand, but they have to give their share, hold up their end, otherwise, they're just a USER!

 

If you can't stand up for yourself, stand up for your mom and don't let her kindness be taken advantage of.

 

Do it today.

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Food, clothing, shelter, aka the hierarchy of needs. A person in survival mode, struggling to have any of these basic needs met, has capacity for nothing else. So he's using you, the other girl for a play station, he "has no friends".... These are all clear signs the guy is a project not a boyfriend.

 

Very true!!

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