Getting in my own head

[figureitout23]

Perfectly said Bat.

[Alex39]

Scary enough, I've been in these situations before. Random guy at bar catches your desperate vibe amd gets all chummy with you, arm around your shoulders.

 

I've been in a few situations like that, years ago. These days I avoid situations like that, because I know that those men aren't serious and it doesn't lead anywhere, but creepy stranger trying to kiss you at the end of the night.

 

Not what I want. I like talking, getting to know someone first.

[figureitout23]

Do you remember the guy that caused you to write this post originally?

 

Serious question.

[milly007]

You just can't get back together with this guy, OP.

 

We teach people how to treat us.

 

Please realize and understand that if you took this guy back, you'd basically be telling him that it's okay to disrespect and mistreat you.

 

And if you ever moved away with him, and lived under the same roof, you'd be subjected to the same behaviour that you saw at Thanksgiving and most recently, except worse.

 

What you've seen so far is only the tip of the iceberg.

 

Living with him would mean you're isolated from your family and I have no doubt that he would take you for granted, take advantage of you and break your spirit, because unfortunately, this is his personality/temperament, AND because you allow it by continuing to stay with him and take him back after he treats you like cr*p.

 

That said, please remember this, OP.

 

I realize everyone here is trying to tell you the same thing, over & over.

 

But I truly hope you don't go back to him and end up learning the hard way.

 

This guy's bad news.

 

You've been forewarned.

[Alex39]

I just had a long conversation with my mom. Yes, it pains me to lose him. I am in pain and depressed now over this whole thing. I do not think this was a pre-meditated thing. I don't think he expected to come back and break up with me whatsoever. I went over what happened the last time I saw him, and my mother and I agreed, the way he treated me, talked to me, and the time we spent together, was not someone who was teetering on a breakup. When he came back from home, his whole demeanor changed.

 

What our conversation did reveal to me, was that unfortunately, I don't think he was ever the right guy for me, and I don't know if I would ever have been completely happy with him.

 

I think deep down I knew this, but its hard to let go of something you have invested so much into, and then on top of that, reveal that it didn't work. I invested and I did fall for him.

 

I enjoyed my time with him. He did treat me well most of the time. I do care about him and I hope he can find happiness, through his homesickness and depression, or so it seems.

 

He could be very picky, stubborn, and bold at times. If it was something he wanted, there was no compromise. He wanted to live in his hometown. No give and take. He made it known from the start of us dating. He wanted to build a house on this certain area land. No compromise. He told me that if we were to get married, he would get me a gold ring. I cringed a bit at gold. Gold is very nice, but not the most stylish anymore. Most of my friends and myself wear sterling or white gold instead.

 

I said something to him to the point of "gold?, what if I want something else?"

 

He said I would get a gold ring. "Gold is traditional."

 

He told me he has known for a long time how he would propose to someone. I was a little confused by this. Wouldn't it differ, person to person? It wouldn't be about me, it would be about him. I would just have to like it. Now, again, I would be so happy with what he would do for me, but its the fact that he wouldn't consider what I would like.

 

I found this a bit controlling. What if I hate gold. I have to wear this my whole life and I can't even get something I would like. Its what he likes and thats it.

 

I want to make clear, I would love anything a man was willing to get for me, gold, silver, purple, it doesn't matter if I love him. But most guys I feel, really want to get a girl something she loves, not what they love. But its always about him.

 

I wear a stylish heirloom ring on my wedding finger. I know one day I will have to take it off if I get married. I'm fine with it. One day out of the blue, he says "You know you will have to take that off if I give you a ring right?"

 

I said "Yes, of course"

 

I thought this was so weird. I wasn't even thinking of this. Maybe its weird I do wear a ring on that finger. It isn't stones, its very much a stylish ring. But I am thinking about not wearing it. Maybe it does give off weird vibes to men.

 

He then told me another time that he would not wear a wedding ring. He doesn't like wearing jewelry, so wouldn't wear a wedding ring. No compromise. What he says, goes.

 

He would send me things about how my name would be with his last name. I would make comments like "but we aren't married" or laugh and make cute little sassy jokes. He would always get serious and say "Fine I won't mention it again." Then I would feel bad. I shouldn't have said anything. I should tell him I love it etc.. and I would.

 

He doesn't ever want a pet. I love cats. He insisted that no pets ever, and almost made it clear to me that he couldn't see me if I had a pet, and made it clear that he would never live with one, ever.

 

What if thats all I've ever wanted? He couldn't love me because of a cat. A cat. I have always wanted one. I gave it up, so he was comfortable. I was okay doing this, since I didn't have one already. But no conversation, no talk. No pets. thats it. He would make little comments to me once and a while too out of the blue, "You know I won't live with a cat right?"

 

I found this bold, and borderline rude. I didn't have a cat. Wasn't getting one, because of him.

 

He would tell me "Oh we have to get you a BMW if we were married." I would tell him I don't desire such a car.

 

His way or the highway. I have this pretty light fixture above my bed. I remember when he saw it. He made a comment about how our house bedroom would never have that in it. He obviously didn't like it. But wow, way to make me feel good for putting it there. Later on I inquired more, and he said he just meant, he wouldn't want it shining in his eyes at night if I liked to sleep with it on.

 

I love to vacation at this certain place. I have gone there my whole life and have so many good memories. I described it to him. He didn't seem to like it and said he wouldn't want to go there. I love it. Its a great place. His family never went on family vacations when he was young. Mine did every year. I told him all about it and how nice it was and how I want to keep doing to with us and my own family someday. I have the best memories from my youth. My family still does it now. We all go. He almost didn't seem very into wanting to do it and he mentioned moderation. Moderation? My family tradition and you say moderation.

 

Moving away with him might have been bad. It would have constantly been about him. Little of what I wanted in my life. I could see him wanting to design our house with what he likes. Telling me what I can do.

 

I say "Oh my god" sometimes. Maybe more than I should. I am pretty religious. He and his family are very. He told me I couldn't be saying that anymore, because if we moved to his area, his family wouldn't like it, as its seen against god. I get what he was saying, but I felt like he was telling me how to talk. I am who I am.

 

I have an accent from where I was raised. Its pretty slight, but there is some slang I use. Where I'm from, its popular. He has a strong accent from where he is from. He has mentioned little things here and there when I have said certain things, words, and maybe my accent stands out more, and he seems turned off by it. Its my voice.

 

He even said once how he only wants to have male children. I always laugh when he says it. Once its in there, its coming out one way or another, I would tell him. Interesting enough, the life he seems to want to live is that of his older brother. Just my perception. He has told me he feels like the black sheep and his brother the golden child. From my view, that is not true. He has built a good career for himself and a good life. No black sheep to me.

 

He wants to be back with his family desperately. His brother lives there and helps his father run a business. He always says he wishes he could be apart of the business. His brother has a nice wife, and two boys. Exactly what he seems to want so badly.

 

I care for him. I wish we could have worked things out. But I question if part of my missing him is him, the guy I know and love, and the other part is what I thought he was and what we could be, which wasn't real. He would have probably controlled everything if I moved with him. I do think I would have been isolated to only spend time with him, alone, or with his family. Maybe I wouldn't have been happy with my life. My life would be his happiness.

[Wiseman2]

He will move home and seriously date a nice local Mormon woman and live happily ever after. You should move on and do the same. Find a compatible local guy who you have more in common with. Or perhaps move closer to your parents and find a nice hometown boy with your type of values.

 

You were very incompatible on every level. He even told you he is "disgusted by fat people" on your first date, which hurt your feelings. But you wanted to close your eyes to all the red flags and talk about wedding rings and last names instead.

He wants to be back with his family desperately. His brother lives there and helps his father run a business. He always says he wishes he could be apart of the business.

[Batya33]

Scary enough, I've been in these situations before. Random guy at bar catches your desperate vibe amd gets all chummy with you, arm around your shoulders.

 

I've been in a few situations like that, years ago. These days I avoid situations like that, because I know that those men aren't serious and it doesn't lead anywhere, but creepy stranger trying to kiss you at the end of the night.

 

Not what I want. I like talking, getting to know someone first.

 

That wasn't the point. I was on a commuter train looking through a bridal magazine. The point was I letting out desperate /needy "I want a boyfriend because my sister/best friend just got engaged and my boyfriend broke up with me" vibes.

[Batya33]

I think he talked so much about the materialistic parts and incidental parts of being married for the same reason you bought him things for his apartment when you barely knew him -you both liked playing at being a couple without much regard for the actual person before you - and that led to irrelevant conversations about peripheral matters - but it also created this false sense of "forever" and brought out the worst in both of you because of the unrealistic expectations.

[Alex39]

I want to make clear, that you are not talking about the right man. I went out with the Mormon guy like once a long time ago and never again. This guy is s new guy who I have been in a relationship with for 5 months.

[figureitout23]

I want to make clear, that you are not talking about the right man. I went out with the Mormon guy like once a long time ago and never again. This guy is s new guy who I have been in a relationship with for 5 months.

 

The sad thing is Alex I mixed them up too.

 

You had warning signs for both you wrote pretty much the same way about the Mormon guy,

 

“ why am I not good enough”

 

“ why won’t they stay with me”

 

“ I never saw this coming”

 

I’d quote you but I have to get ready for my day and there no point most of us remember your history.

 

I don’t know who you’re trying to convince but it’s none of us.

[Batya33]

I want to make clear, that you are not talking about the right man. I went out with the Mormon guy like once a long time ago and never again. This guy is s new guy who I have been in a relationship with for 5 months.

 

Agree with FIO.

 

The point is, you're not talking about the "right man" either.

[Wiseman2]

Yes, it's hard keeping track because the self dialogue is so similar. The identical patterns are so striking that it could have been the same guy...over and over.

The sad thing is Alex I mixed them up too.

 

You had warning signs for both you wrote pretty much the same way about the Mormon guy,

 

“ why am I not good enough”

 

“ why won’t they stay with me”

 

“ I never saw this coming”

[Alex39]

I mean I went out with Mormon guy once.

 

I've been in a committed relationship with this guy for 5 months.

 

I think that is vastly different.

 

My girl friend is telling me she would be blowing up his phone with messages, saying that I can't believe that after 5 monyhs he is going to just ignore me and that he isn't the man I thought him to be.

 

 

I'm on the fence. I reached out twice. I think again would be chasing him. I'm conflicted.

[Wiseman2]

"Blowing up someone's phone" after a breakup is in the psycho-ex realm. He did not ghost you. You asked him if this is a break up and he said yes at least twice.

My girl friend is telling me she would be blowing up his phone with messages, saying that I can't believe that after 5 monyhs he is going to just ignore me

[mustlovedogs]

I just had a long conversation with my mom. Yes, it pains me to lose him. I am in pain and depressed now over this whole thing. I do not think this was a pre-meditated thing. I don't think he expected to come back and break up with me whatsoever. I went over what happened the last time I saw him, and my mother and I agreed, the way he treated me, talked to me, and the time we spent together, was not someone who was teetering on a breakup. When he came back from home, his whole demeanor changed.

 

What our conversation did reveal to me, was that unfortunately, I don't think he was ever the right guy for me, and I don't know if I would ever have been completely happy with him.

 

I think deep down I knew this, but its hard to let go of something you have invested so much into, and then on top of that, reveal that it didn't work. I invested and I did fall for him.

 

I enjoyed my time with him. He did treat me well most of the time. I do care about him and I hope he can find happiness, through his homesickness and depression, or so it seems.

 

He could be very picky, stubborn, and bold at times. If it was something he wanted, there was no compromise. He wanted to live in his hometown. No give and take. He made it known from the start of us dating. He wanted to build a house on this certain area land. No compromise. He told me that if we were to get married, he would get me a gold ring. I cringed a bit at gold. Gold is very nice, but not the most stylish anymore. Most of my friends and myself wear sterling or white gold instead.

 

I said something to him to the point of "gold?, what if I want something else?"

 

He said I would get a gold ring. "Gold is traditional."

 

He told me he has known for a long time how he would propose to someone. I was a little confused by this. Wouldn't it differ, person to person? It wouldn't be about me, it would be about him. I would just have to like it. Now, again, I would be so happy with what he would do for me, but its the fact that he wouldn't consider what I would like.

 

I found this a bit controlling. What if I hate gold. I have to wear this my whole life and I can't even get something I would like. Its what he likes and thats it.

 

I want to make clear, I would love anything a man was willing to get for me, gold, silver, purple, it doesn't matter if I love him. But most guys I feel, really want to get a girl something she loves, not what they love. But its always about him.

 

I wear a stylish heirloom ring on my wedding finger. I know one day I will have to take it off if I get married. I'm fine with it. One day out of the blue, he says "You know you will have to take that off if I give you a ring right?"

 

I said "Yes, of course"

 

I thought this was so weird. I wasn't even thinking of this. Maybe its weird I do wear a ring on that finger. It isn't stones, its very much a stylish ring. But I am thinking about not wearing it. Maybe it does give off weird vibes to men.

 

He then told me another time that he would not wear a wedding ring. He doesn't like wearing jewelry, so wouldn't wear a wedding ring. No compromise. What he says, goes.

 

He would send me things about how my name would be with his last name. I would make comments like "but we aren't married" or laugh and make cute little sassy jokes. He would always get serious and say "Fine I won't mention it again." Then I would feel bad. I shouldn't have said anything. I should tell him I love it etc.. and I would.

 

He doesn't ever want a pet. I love cats. He insisted that no pets ever, and almost made it clear to me that he couldn't see me if I had a pet, and made it clear that he would never live with one, ever.

 

What if thats all I've ever wanted? He couldn't love me because of a cat. A cat. I have always wanted one. I gave it up, so he was comfortable. I was okay doing this, since I didn't have one already. But no conversation, no talk. No pets. thats it. He would make little comments to me once and a while too out of the blue, "You know I won't live with a cat right?"

 

I found this bold, and borderline rude. I didn't have a cat. Wasn't getting one, because of him.

 

He would tell me "Oh we have to get you a BMW if we were married." I would tell him I don't desire such a car.

 

His way or the highway. I have this pretty light fixture above my bed. I remember when he saw it. He made a comment about how our house bedroom would never have that in it. He obviously didn't like it. But wow, way to make me feel good for putting it there. Later on I inquired more, and he said he just meant, he wouldn't want it shining in his eyes at night if I liked to sleep with it on.

 

I love to vacation at this certain place. I have gone there my whole life and have so many good memories. I described it to him. He didn't seem to like it and said he wouldn't want to go there. I love it. Its a great place. His family never went on family vacations when he was young. Mine did every year. I told him all about it and how nice it was and how I want to keep doing to with us and my own family someday. I have the best memories from my youth. My family still does it now. We all go. He almost didn't seem very into wanting to do it and he mentioned moderation. Moderation? My family tradition and you say moderation.

 

Moving away with him might have been bad. It would have constantly been about him. Little of what I wanted in my life. I could see him wanting to design our house with what he likes. Telling me what I can do.

 

I say "Oh my god" sometimes. Maybe more than I should. I am pretty religious. He and his family are very. He told me I couldn't be saying that anymore, because if we moved to his area, his family wouldn't like it, as its seen against god. I get what he was saying, but I felt like he was telling me how to talk. I am who I am.

 

I have an accent from where I was raised. Its pretty slight, but there is some slang I use. Where I'm from, its popular. He has a strong accent from where he is from. He has mentioned little things here and there when I have said certain things, words, and maybe my accent stands out more, and he seems turned off by it. Its my voice.

 

He even said once how he only wants to have male children. I always laugh when he says it. Once its in there, its coming out one way or another, I would tell him. Interesting enough, the life he seems to want to live is that of his older brother. Just my perception. He has told me he feels like the black sheep and his brother the golden child. From my view, that is not true. He has built a good career for himself and a good life. No black sheep to me.

 

He wants to be back with his family desperately. His brother lives there and helps his father run a business. He always says he wishes he could be apart of the business. His brother has a nice wife, and two boys. Exactly what he seems to want so badly.

 

I care for him. I wish we could have worked things out. But I question if part of my missing him is him, the guy I know and love, and the other part is what I thought he was and what we could be, which wasn't real. He would have probably controlled everything if I moved with him. I do think I would have been isolated to only spend time with him, alone, or with his family. Maybe I wouldn't have been happy with my life. My life would be his happiness.

 

You seem equally “my way or the highway” as him.

 

Ring. Car. Cat. Vacation. Accent. Phrasing.

 

You’re doing what he is, even if you don’t say it out loud.

 

You don’t want to compromise. You don’t want a relationship where you aren’t showered with love, affection, and things.

 

That’s not a healthy relationship. You both have to give and you both have to compromise

 

Stop rambling on about this guy. If you want to move on and “get out of your own head”, then don’t talk about this guy. Don’t talk about the good times. Focus on YOU and your steps to improve.

 

As has been said before, literally numerous times, you need to tailor your expectations of a relationship. This thread is what, 20 pages? Can’t you see you’re making the same mistakes?

[Alex39]

I think the fact of the matter is. I still want him. I keep trying to convince myself that I don't, but I do.

 

I would do anything to get him back and I would try harder, change my ways, try and understand him better, if I could be with him again.

 

If it was a breakup, then why say "good morning" the very next day?

 

I wish he would speak to me. That we could talk things over and make things better again. I feel guilty. I feel like I ruined our relationship with my questioning and overthinking. I had him. I doubted it. I felt it in my gut. But hecw was mine. He wasn't planning on leaving me. I still care so much about him. He added a lot of happiness to my life, on top of my life already being really rewarding. He added to me. I thought I added to him too. I made him laugh, gave him comfort, and added a feminine energy inti his life.

 

The night before we had our conversation, where he said he woupd break up with me. We were talking on the phone and he was telling me how he was going to hang the Christmas gifts I got him on the wall on his day off. I waa so happy. I got him these custom pictures of something I thought he would love. And he did, love them.

 

He says that and the very next day he says he would dump me to go back home. I shouldn't have asked the questions or accused him. I was wrong and now I've lost him.

 

All my friends keep telling me it is not my fault, that he has some issues of his own that have nothimg to do with me.

 

But I keep beating myself up. I want to see him. To hug him. To say I'm sorry for whatever I did that has him ignoring me. The ignoring me part of this is killing me. Are we together? Are we not? I just want him to talk to me. I want him to know how much I care and I want to fix this. If a year went by and our relationship was strong, then I would definitely move with him. I try to compromise.

 

No pets, okay. Moving, okay. Gold ring, I can wear that. My accent, I'll work on it. Its worth it for him.

 

I feel like, if he loves me like he claims, then he would want to talk to me.

[mustlovedogs]

^ in your own head.

 

You spin around in your own fantasy dreamland. You go from complaining about him to raving about him.

 

If you want a healthy relationship, stop obsessing over him, stop singing his praises and talking about the good times, and work on yourself.

[katrina1980]

amk, I hesitated to say this earlier cause did not wish to cause more pain, but given your last post I am compelled.

 

I think it's quite possible and even likely he's met another woman and dating her now.

 

I'm sorry but in his mind, you're history.

 

That is how these guys operate, one day you're in, the next day you're out.

 

Literally!

 

Best you learn this because you are dangerously close to entering into obsession if not there already.

 

His dysfunctional and toxic behavior is not your fault, stop blaming yourself!

 

He just stopped caring, if he ever did.

 

He cared more about a fantasy, you could have been any woman.

 

The fantasy with you died and now he's on to his next fantasy with a different woman..

 

You need to accept this otherwise you will remain stuck and never move on.

 

I'm sorry.

[katrina1980]

To add, not sure why you are so adverse to reading books and articles on interpersonal relationships, avoidance issues, commitment fears, human behavior etc etc etc

 

I've read hundreds, and learned a lot from them.

 

Applied what I learned to my relationships, still made mistakes but was at least more aware.

 

Unfortunately you seem completely blind to the various nuances and you're getting eaten alive, and will continue to until you LEARN, through reading and experience combined.

 

You won't learn anything by sitting on your *** dreaming of meeting Mr. Right but not doing the necessary work within yourself in order to meet him.

 

This bozo's behavior now and throughout is no big surprise to me, nor to others, but you seem completely blindsided by it!

 

Like you have no comprehension that he has huge issues and has had them for a long time, way before you came along.

 

Which you can't fix, nor does he want you to!!

 

He's gone.

[Wiseman2]

Agree that this is a good theory. He went home, he misses home and when he gets back he breaks up shortly after..

I think it's quite possible and even likely he's met another woman and dating her now. I'm sorry but in his mind, you're history.That is how these guys operate, one day you're in, the next day you're out.

[boltnrun]

So you'll do anything, anything at all to keep him?

 

How can you NOT see how unhealthy and self-destructive that mindset is?

 

I think you will end up "blowing up his phone" or doing something like drive over to his place to beg him to take you back. And you'll promise to do anything he wants if he'd just take you back. Because by golly, you MUST get that (gold) ring on your finger!

[katrina1980]

I don't think it's the gold ring she wants bolt, I truly don't.

 

She wants "love" needs it like she needs air to breathe, and would even resort to begging if that's what it takes.

 

It's an addiction of sorts, like a drug addict needing her fix.

 

Sadly she fails to recognize she'll never get it from him, and assigns to him all these qualities that have no basis in reality.

 

It's no surprise they came together, they both prefer fantasy, living in never-never land.

 

Unfortunately, amk is still living there, but he's left.

 

Most likely living in a new never-never land with a new woman.

 

This whole thing is just really sad.

[Alex39]

Reality is, I won't do anything. I feel sad, hurt, depressed, and I want him back. But deep down, I am strong and I do have standards. I know it seems like I caved, and just followed him like a puppy. I didn't when he made comments about my accent. I told him that it was mean and I won't accept negativity about it again. He never mentioned it again.

 

After Thankgiving, I told him every inch of what he drunkely said to me, and explained how much it hurt me line by line, and how certain things he should never ever say to me again. I even told him that, because he was drunk, which created most of his behavior, that I will give him a second chance. BUT, and I listed them off, if he ever said this and that again, I'd be gone. If he ever treated me in such a way again, I'd be gone. I didn't flinch. He was not in control of his emotions and it was mean. And if he ever got drunk like that again, or I notice he has a problem with drinking, I will be gone. I told him all that without flinching. I won't settle for mean or drunk.

 

He never said nor did anything like it again he hasn't had alcohol again.

 

I told him he needed to gain my trust back, and he did. He treated me very well after that. Making plans with me, calling me regularly, and showing overall concern for my well being.

 

I did not deserve that treatment and I made it very clear that I would not accept it ever again. And that treating your mother that way also is unacceptable to me and he needed to get a handle on his emotions. Not lashing out at people, including me.

 

I've noticed that if we are talking on the phone and he is upset or irritated by our conversation. Maybe we don't agree on a topic, he immediately suddenly has to go. And he will be like "well I think I am going to get off here"

 

Its like he can't handle himself or emotions or something. That's wrong. I try to rationally talk to him. And he runs away. Its immature.

 

Like I do know that him saying he would leave tomorrow is wrong. Him ignoring me is not only immature, but wrong.

 

Its like I know the wrong things, but he isn't a bad person. Most of the time he was good.

 

To be honest, deep down, my standards kicked in. When I put him on the spot about would he take off on me ifbhe could to go home. I couldn't hold back. The way he was talking, and my gut was yelling at me that something was off. And truthfully, I cried all night after and in the morning too, because deep down I knew I couldn't be with someone who says such things to me. I knew it was over. It was painful and such a sudden loss. I needed to mourn.

 

Maybe I need to stand my ground kore with men, and see the red flags more. What can I say? I give people too much credit. I'm too sweet and too understanding. Its my personality. Sometimes I get burned.

 

It hurts right now, but I have to move on. I cannot be with someone who wouldn't stick around and not want me to go with them. At that point, I knew that my feelings were deeper than his. I planned my life on #1 me. And #2 him. Whereas he didn't prioritze me as much as he should have.

 

I co-worker of mine told me a story yesterday about her son. He was in medical school, studying like crazy. Met a girl. They start dating. He was insanely crazy about her. She suddenly became chronically ill. As busy as he was, he stuck by her, spent quality time with her, and would sit day and night with her st the hospital, all while studying for for his doctors license exam.

 

The girls family came to be with her from states away. Very far. The girl them told him she was going home with them so they could help her recover. He was going to move there to still be with her. He wanted to follow her. But she broke up with him, realizing she was going to stay home with family for good and wanted to focus on her health. Her son was crushed, but he stayed here and is now a practicing doctor.

 

This story really resonated with me. I would have done exactly what her son would have. I would have been at the hospital day and night. Moved if my guy was sick to stay with him. But I thought about it and realized that my boyfriend wouldn't do that for me.

 

There I find a disconnect and it would never work if both parties aren't willing to give equally.

[milly007]

It’s frustrating reading your posts, OP.

 

I get that break-ups are hard, but you’re in complete denial.

 

This guy’s an a$$, yet you’re somehow blaming all of this on yourself and thinking you’d do anything to keep him?

 

You’re living in a fantasy world and ignoring major red flags.

 

You say that you think you deserve better, yet you find reasons to justify and accept sh*tty behaviour from a boyfriend? Why is this acceptable to you?

 

He texted you and said that he’d move away and break-up with you. He hasn’t reached out to you in a week (or over a week now).

 

Please explain to me why this is acceptable to you? Or why this is appealing and you’d want to stay with someone like this?

 

You need to wake-up and open your eyes.

 

A good man who genuinely cares about you and your relationship would NOT do something like this to

someone he loves, and someone he wants to be with.

[boltnrun]

"I think the fact of the matter is. I still want him. I keep trying to convince myself that I don't, but I do.

 

I would do anything to get him back and I would try harder, change my ways, try and understand him better, if I could be with him again. "

 

You're contradicting yourself again.

 

How is the statement I underlined you being "strong"?

 

You wrote above you would "do anything" to get him back!

 

I hope for your sake he doesn't contact you. Because I envision you crying, apologizing and begging. And none of that is "strong".

 

Strong would be telling yourself "You know, this hurts but I don't deserve to be treated the way this man treats me. And I will not go back for more mistreatment."