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confused79

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  1. confused79
    just wanted to let you know that i feel like i'm in a situation my guy being 32 and me being 24. when i have something more relevent to add i'll post just had to throw that out there.
  2. confused79
    Well here is my story. How do i convince my boyfriend to let the past go? 5 years ago he was married for 6 months. she wanted to be single again and they broke up/divorced. every since he can't go to weddings and is still very bitter. i want him to be my date to a friends wedding but i can't convince him. i dont' see that he will get over it. i think that his ex has 'won' and permamently scarred him and the possibility of finding happiness in marriage. im just surprised that he can't put it aside and go to the wedding for me. not even the ceremony, just the reception. what do i do?
  3. confused79
    This seems to be a little crazy confusing topic but I was wondering what all of you thought about 'dating' and 'bf/gf'. Recently I asked this guy that I've been seeing/dating/sexually/emotionally involved with for over 6 months where he saw our relationship. I asked him if we were exclusive and he said that he wasn't dating/sleeping with anyone else bc hes too busy with school/work/etc. He said that I could (no I wasn't getting at that). He said that he doesn't want to have a girlfriend because he doesn't want that to get in the way of getting his degree. We see each other at least once a week and talk a lot on phone/email/im. By no means am I defending him but I guess I could see where he is coming from that a gf would want to see him more and more etc and the unfortunate ex made him struggle with the school and relationship issue. I am falling for him and have been for a while. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. thanks and looking forward to your advice and will correspond more later if you have questions. thx
  4. confused79
    I haven't even told them that i'm dating him again. first of all how would i do that? thanks for your help you really are helping me feel better, i just need to feel better about the situation. any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated from you and anyone else. thanks
  5. confused79
    Well I started dating this guy that used to be my ex-roommates ex. From her family and her my friends and family got a bad rap of him and what he was in his past and with her. I was told that he wasn't good for me and that we should just be friends from my mother who met him at a party i was having and then from two of my close girl friends. After a certain time we took a break and tried to figure things out but that didn't last long and now we are back dating. we have a great time together and i think he is a great guy. i just don't know how to tell my family and friends we are dating again bc they think he's just a friend right now. its so hard to not be able to tell them or show them. what would be some how neutral to do it? or what is your thoughts
  6. confused79
    well i did what wasn't suggested and knew that there was a possibility of him being defensive etc etc. i asked him if he knew what was goin on with her and he's come to notice that she might be interested in him and that he told me nothing is ever going to happen beyond the friendship they share. i don't know how he may deal with her but he knows her better. anyway, as long as he's not interested in her that is find otherwise i was thinking of just jumping ship bc it was just going to get too complicated. anyway, thanks again.
  7. confused79
    i'm finding myself in many similar situations today on this site. i found my boyfriend or guy i'm dating, we haven't had any talk about that after 6 months. i recently had an urge to look to see if he was still online after how he met his ex, my ex roommate(long story) he was but changed his name and said that he just said it was cheap to leave it on and doesn't really talk to the people, he doesn't have a pic on or anything. in our short couple of weeks break 3 months in i posted mine. i don't use it anymore but just curious if i'd get responses...i guess an ego thing and maybe considering i dont knwo how serious i think he is i was keeping my options open. i'm wondering myself if i should worry about him though. he did find me online though and jokingly sent me messages. and i did cancel my subscription telling him that he didn't need to be on there anyway. i don't know if this helps at all but you're not in this situation alone
  8. confused79
    i just can't talk to her, i think i'll get my head bitten off for talking to her separate from him. I believe my only hope to from him bc I guess I need to find out where i stand with him, if he believes that we are still dating and that he still likes me. He needs to tell me if he wants something to happen between them and if he wants to date her. I don't know i guess if thats the case then i'm going to have to get out. I don't want to lose him, how silly i feel for loving him. why i ask do i love him and want to be with him? right now i feel so sick to my stomach, shaking and want to throw up and cry. that isn't something i need to feel. we are fine when we are together alone but he seems to get all weird when others are around. except for the saturday night when she was over and a few others. we kissed a lot and i sat on his lap a lot. i thought it was wonderful incase he felt like he didn't like pda's but that showed me otherwise. i just wish i could get things to be better right now, i don't deserve this pain. i need to talk to him now. ugggh
  9. confused79
    I am going through a rather similar situation with a guy i've been seeing for about six months. its so difficult to read sometimes....some times hes all sweet and the next hes all weird and saying stuff. Heres my situation, we've been dating for 6 months after a weird struggle in the beginning with and ex. we've had a great time and enjoyed each others company. a couple months in he thought i was too emotionally attached at this point and he didn't want to be so we took a short break and got back together. sometimes he says he misses me and wants my company, kisses me etc etc but after a situation last night and some things he said and did made me question whats going on. He got really drunk last night and started boosting his so called ego and kissed several married women in the bar. he said it was nothing but I told him that it made me upset. i'm trying to get a chance to talk to him but he seems to keep avoiding that we need to talk. i also think his best friend wants him since she got upset at me coming over last night after the bar and said to him 'have a nice life, i loved you, and thanks (to me) but i have no idea where that came from. and now occasionally he throws stuff out about 'wanting me' and that p***y has to face etc etc. i know i must sound stupid but what the heck is going on. what the heck is going on, he tells me he likes me and that we are dating. oh geez what do i do? i've fallin in love with what he was a few months ago.
  10. confused79
    i've only known her as much as him. i can't really talk to her aside from being in his presense or she might not talk to me online. i don't have her number. I don't want to step in between them by talking to them separately but i know it needs to be talked about with him. he tells me today that he really doesn't remember what happened that i stayed or that she did. oh geez whatelse can i say. i guess his ex and her didn't get along either. i did with her in the beginning but things have grown distant. who knows. gotta go into a meeting. hope to hear back from you soon. i'll write more when i hear back from you. i sooo want this to work
  11. confused79
    Alright. here is the situation as of last night. i met my boyfriend up at bowling where he bowls every tuesday. his best friend meets me up there mostly every time. I started dating him around august and we became good friends too. she came to my bday party etc etc. recently i thought it was just her personality that she didn't talk to me as much. others have said that it is her personality and so did my bf. saturday she came over and i did too. we hung out had fun then met up with some other friends that night. i ended up staying the night and she was going to since she had too much to drink but i think since she noticed that i was she decided to leave and got mad. last night a similar situation happened. we were all watching him bowl, we went to a bar after and she was quiet to me and hugging him like she was tired. well i wanted to talk to him before we left and he told me to meet him at his house. i did, she was there too. she didn't want to come in bc i think i was there. she ended up crying in the family room as we were in the bedroom and i was trying to figure things out. she ended up leaving then coming back and layed in the bed with us. he said not to worry about it as he was falling asleep but what can i do. she said "i loved you" and "have a nice life" and thanks to me. geez whats going on? any suggestions? we've been together for 6 months, took one short break. now i have fallen for him
  12. confused79
    Well we started this conversation days ago and I brought it up again today online. I told him how I felt but bc we are both at work we both are busy and through instant messanger its hard to talk we will talk about it later. I just want him to know that Valentine's day is important to me, regardless of what he thinks of it. We need to compromise somehow... I just want him to be able to express his feelings to me somehow bc sometimes it is really hard to read how he is feeling about us dating. I am trying to take things slowly with him but I can't help falling in love with him. I think he's starting to feel the same way about me but through Valentine's day I thought he'd be able to show me. I do a lot for him, show him and tell him how much I care for him and I just hope to get the same in return so that I know I'm not wasting my time with him bc I really do hope things can grow and develop a future together. Sometimes I think he thinks about himself too much and not about me in order to protect himself or thinking that he's the only one that has been hurt in past relationships. How to I get him to realize I'm there for him and I'm not in this relationship with him to hurt him? I do love him and thats what makes this little valentine's thing hurt. thanks again for your support and help.
  13. confused79
    Ok I've been dating this guy for about six months. He isn't really romantic but I really enjoy being around this guy. I feel like I'm falling in love. He did mention over the phone a coupleof weeks ago that he loved me. He hasn't said it since. Recently, I asked him if we would do something for valentines day and he said maybe. Then today he says its a hallmark holiday and that its stupid. An occasional thoughtful gift or flowers or something like that would mean the world to me. I tell him how much he means to me and that it hurts when his says that valentines day is stupid. I think hes still bitter about a marriage that ended after 6 months that happened 5 years ago and how my psycho ex roommate hurt him. I don't know how to help him get over this bitterness and open up to me. He says that he doesn't want to get hurt again and thats why he keeps his distance but its starting to hurt me more and more each time. what do i do? as strange as it may sound, i think i love him
  14. confused79
    This is terribly confusing. Well I finally got an email from the guy I went on a date with. He wanted to tell me that his life is very busy right now and he doesn't know if he has time for a normal relationship with anyone right now. He does want to go out to dinner with me sometime in the future and that he says he enjoys getting to know me. What the heck? In so many of his emails, he's mentioned things that we can do next etc etc. I know he is very busy with work and I understand that but what can I do. You would not believe it but from the first time we talked and then after meeting there has been a glowing smile on my face. I haven't seen that in a long time with anyone. Is he just too good to be true?
  15. confused79
    Well here is my story. I recently started emailing/chatting with this guy online through link removed. I was a little hesitant to do this but I was just not meeting quality men at the bar or elsewher. He seemed really nice, we emailed each other for 2 weeks and then he asked me out to dinner. Last night we went out. He picked me up, acted all formal (i think this is how he acts when hes shy/nervous) We went out to a nice restaurant. After the initial nervousness, we talked and talked all night. I know we were both shy/nervous but we (or at least I) felt comfortable. After dinner, he dropped me off at my place. I asked him in and showed him my place just to talk a little further. I asked him to sit but he said that he needed to get home to do some work for work. He says his job is a 24 hr a day job. Anyway, we had so much to talk about/in common. The entired date lasted 2 and a half hours. That made me feel weird because I was hoping that it might last longer. He was much cuter than his photo and I really was attracted to him physically and through talking with him. I would really like to get to know him more. When he was leaving he told me to have a good night. I didn't want to sound persistent but I really wanted to know if we'd go out again. Thats how we left it. That night I saw him online and I told him that I had a wonderful time. He said that he did as well. I told him that I was going to go to bed (because I'm sick) and that we should get together again soon now that we aren't nervous as much. He just said good night. I sent him an ecard this morning, saying the same about having a good time. I asked him what he was doing this weekend or next and that we should go out again. I just thought he was great and couldn't wait to tell him that I was interested. WEll he received the ecard but hasn't responded yet. Hmmmm What do you think? He was always so excite in emails/phone that we should do this and that. Maybe I'm just paranoid and he was busy at work. He has been lately and hasn't emailed me back as quickly as a week ago. What should I do next, I'm going to see if he emails me tonight. uggg. Thanks for your anticipated help.
  16. confused79
    Well I've been trying to talk to him and comfort him over IM because he doesn't seem to want to talk or see anyone. I just I've got to stop asking how he's doing because he pretty much told me that I'm helping the situation by constantly asking and such. Today he told me that he was going to take his son to see his grandma for the last time. Geez he's not very hopeful. Tomorrow is his mother's surgery. I try to tell him to be positive. I also asked him for his mom's name and that I wouldn't try and visit because she doesn't know me very well and I didn't want them to feel awkward if she really wasn't doing too well. I wanted her name so that I could drop something off at the hospital but he didn't like that either. Now I just told him that I see how he's upset and that I'm sorry for not understanding and that all I did was what I thought was best. I told him that I was here for him and was thinking about him and his family. I plan on leaving him be the rest of the week. geeezzz thats hard. And when I get back from the weekend. I will talk to him and hopefully see him. We really have got to talk. I only want to give him a great big hug just for my little touch of comfort. I'm just afraid now that I've just pushed him away by all my constant talk and stuff. uggg, its just so hard because I really think I'm in love with him. anyway...please help in anyway you can.
  17. confused79
    I guess I'm just being selfish at this point, bc we've been casually dating for a couple of months now and I just don't know how he still feels about me. I care for him a lot and a lot of the time I want to spend time with him he changes his mind and wants to be alone or we just sit and watch tv. So this mother situation hurts me as well too bc I want to comfort him and take care of him like a girlfriend would but am I a girlfriend? I've tried to ask him if he wanted me to accompany him to the hospital or what not but the answer gets avoided. anyway, i'm at a loss bc I want to be his "girlfriend" but this depression/sadness phase has been affecting him and he can't talk to me the way he used to.
  18. confused79
    Alright, heres my story in short. The guy I have been dating lately has been very distant. His mom is back in the hospital with some stomach problem. This time she will probably be in the hospital for months and it doesn't look to good for her. He tells me this today and I feel really helpless. He said he was going to visit her in the hospital today which is by my house and then he'd come over. Then he decides that hes too sad and that he'll visit her tomorrow. He then says that if i could come over to his place instead. I said I would. Now he says that he just wants to be alone. I just feel so helpless and want to comfort him and keep his mind occupied. I wouldn't want to be alone. He just seems to dwell on things and wants to be alone when he's sad. I just can't help to sit here and not go over there and comfort him. PLEASE PLEASE help. what do i do, i'm crying inside bc I can't help sitting at home
  19. confused79
    Well his son doesn't live with him, he just seems him usually around once a month. I really do care about him a lot and I want my friends and family to like him too. I just feel like i'm left out in some parts of his life. Its not like I want to know everything that he's doing but I like to know. I like to feel included or at least thought of. I also like him to be affectionate like he used to. I feel like he tried so hard to get me that now that he has he doesn't care as much anymore. Uggg, I don't know what to do. what do I say to him without scaring him. I sent him an email about how a birthday is important to me since he didn't get me anything even if he isn't into birthdays. He keeps putting off out birthday dinner that I want to have since his bday is close to mine. well thats it, I hope you can give me some more advice. thanks again
  20. confused79
    I'll try to keep this short but I've got this problem. I started seeing this guy a couple of months ago. At first we would go out to the bar and talk almost everyday in the beginning. Now in the past couple of weeks it seems like we don't do things as much. I know that sometimes things fade in a relationship but it hasn't been long enough for me to figure out if I want to be with this guy. I like him a lot and I love spending time with him. Unfortunately I don't know if he feels the same way. I've had a hard time talking with him but I don't want to scare him either. He told me that he would love to start a relationship with me but in the beginning I kept pushing him away with my "issues" He is 8 yrs older than me, he has a 8 yr old son, and he was married before for 5 months. I thought that I could never date anyone that fit all these issues but I by giving him a chance I've really begun to have stronger and stronger feelings for him. I want to be with him. Recently it was my birthday and I his. I asked him what he wanted to do and he suggested that we do something together for both birthdays. I've tried to set a date but he doesn't want to or he keeps putting it off. Today he said he wasn't that big into birthdays. He didn't even get me a present yet or I don't think. Unfortunately the way we met was through my roommate. He dated her. Even after they broke up he bought her a bike. Don't start on the don't date a roommates ex thing bc I already know.... anyway.... I'm not into material things but every so often I like to go out on a "date" without me having to force it or meet him somewhere that he's already planned. Anyway, how should I talk to him about my concerns about wanting to go out on "dates" or surprised with a thoughtful gift or a birthday present. I don't want him to be scared or angry when I say that i want to "talk" I'd also like to know if we are "Exclusively" dating now too. B/c we don't plan things and things keep getting changed I wonder if there is someone else. Who knows...but alls I know is that I'm falling in love with him. HELP...p.s sorry this ended up being long
  21. confused79
    It may seem bad but that is definitely not the kind of person I am. As you can see from my other posts, I'm very much still in love with an ex. He says he doesn't want a long-distance relationship but maybe he still has feelings for me. I'd jump at any opportunity for the 2 of us to be together. anyway.... fast forward to my latest situation My roommate went on vacation for a week 2 weeks ago and during this time and a little before her ex and I have been chatting. We finally decided to go out just as friends. During this week we had a lot of fun with and without his friends. We ended up kissing a couple of times and a little more I guess you could say. This has been goin on for 2 weeks now. I'm afraid how shes gonna react to this because she is a little psycho. She would always accuse the 2 of us (her ex and I) of having sex or something when he would work on my computer or just say hi to me from 10 feet away. very jealous i guess. Even when she was looking for a roommate she was trying to find someone he'd find unattractive. I'm confused about a couple of things. I think I like him but maybe its the attention I don't know. I'm 23 he's 31 and he has an 8 yr old son that he sees occasionally. ugg. I told myself that he's too old and I don't want to date someone with kids. My best friend (not the roommate) told me before she went on vacation for a week that she didn't want anything to happen between us and she feels weird about the situation. I'm sure I'll hear from her this week about it but I don't know what to do. My best friend has always been there for me and has always been helpful in my relationships. I value her opinion sooo much and shes usually right about it all. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I enjoy being with him. He's a very affectionate person and definitely a romance type. so this just makes it hard for maybe me to think logically. I don't want to lead him on either just because I want to feel good by making out/kissing/etc. HELP me please.
  22. confused79
    To make a long story short, recently I met up with my ex boyfriend after 4 years or non-communication. We dated at the end of high school and some college for nearly 3 years. Partially the reason we broke up was because of the distance our colleges were away from one another. After 4 years, he contacted me and we've talked almost everyday since. This was about 2 months ago. We met, went out, out to dinner, pool, and back to my place. We talked and enjoyed each others company until 4:30 in the morning. We talked and cuddled and I guess you could say we kissed. At this point I felt happy and sad at the same time. I knew it would be hard because he lives states away and won't come back for just under 3 years since he's in the service. I was happy because he initated this physical contact with me. I'm not sure what to do because he told me that he didn't want to have a long distance relationship and that is how he felt. He knows that I probably had hopes but now I'm at a loss. I'm hoping that he'll come to his senses because even after 4 years, I still care about him a lot and think of him. I would do anything for him. If it would come to it, I'd move there to be with him. I'm scared to ask him if he still has feelings for me because then I'd be more crushed but thats probably what I should do. Wouldn't he though if he spent all this time with me, talks with me all the time, and even cuddled with me. Is there another way? He even mentioned that I could visit him instead of waiting for him to come back for a visit. I want to still chat with him but would be very upset if he told me about people that he started dating. No one as of right now though. There is too much to leave behind, too many things that happened recently that makes me think of it more than a coincidence that we both decided to contact each other around the same time (i had a letter written to his family). anyway....please read my other entries about how this reconnection happened and I really would like some advice. thanks so much
  23. confused79
    How did meeting with your ex go? I'm interested to find out because next month I'll be meeting mine after 4 years. If you want to learn more about my situation look up my name and see what I've posted. I'm just curious what happened so that maybe I can feel less nervous about seeing mine. I think i really am still in love with him and hoping that he feels that same. I won't be able to find out his feelings until I see him. hope it went well. hope you can offer me some advice.
  24. confused79
    HI all, Kantore I've talked to you before but if you've forgotten or any of you "new to my situation" people search confused79 as an author and find out more about my situation. Heres the latest news. I've been talking to my ex almost everyday through aol im or on the phone. I wrote a topic about a month ago about it. Heres the summary: My ex contacted me through email after breaking up 4 years ago. We dated for almost 3 years during high school and post high school. He's far away in another state right now but will be visiting next month Wed-Sunday. We made plans a month ago to go out. He told me to make the plans. I already had made plans for the weekend that he'll be visiting but he reassured me that he'd be around during the week too. This makes me think that he still wants to go out. I'm thinking of taking off Friday from work possibly because if he wants to hang out all day with me we can see more about how we feel for each other. I'm still to scared to ask him over the phone or internet how he feels and why he originally contacted me. I'm hoping when we see each other that will tell the story because its been 4 years. His first response when I asked him why he contacted me was "I was bored". Please feel free to look up my other listings to get more details about my situation. I really need some help. Thanks and if you need any more clarification about this rambling message let me know. thanks so much, -lovestruck
  25. confused79
    Well here is my "hopefully" good story. About a month ago, my ex boyfriend from high school (I graduated from HS five years ago and we broke up about 4 years ago) found my work email address. I was completely shocked. I had actually been thinking about him since he was in the service and could be in Iraq. I had a letter written to send to his dad. Since that day we have been emailing or chatting everyday. We really haven't been talking about getting back together. We did ask each other if we were seeing anybody at the moment. I'd like to bring it up but I'm scared. He is in another state and won't be returning to our home town until mid July. I hope that we could shed some light on the situation when we see each other. We did make plans to see each other and he told me to think of something to do. I can't wait. What do you think about the situation? SHould I be happy? exited? I had a good dream last night about us.
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