zerohalo

Here's the thing about bugging your friends at work, 9/10 times, they want to be bugged. Almost everyone wants a quick distraction from what they're doing. Just pop on, say "Hi" and if they're too busy to talk they'll tell you. I actually find that I don't listen to the podcasts that closely. My roommate listens to the same podcasts at his job and actually pays attention to them because he doesn't have to think too much (data entry). I find that it's just a pleasant drone in the background, and if I really have to concentrate on something I just hit the mute button on my speakers for a bit. I do understand the concern about having a TV in the same room, but you hit the nail on the head. If you put something in you've watched a million times before, it'll just be comforting noise. Don't go out and rent something you've never seen and pop it in.

Formal sex? >>holds fingers up like a cross Back! Back I say!

I totally know where you're coming from. I've been working at home for 15 months now, and I go through these same bouts of lonliness. Here's a few things that I've done that helps combat those blues, maybe one of them will help. 1) Get iTunes. I download podcasts and listen to them often during the day. It's better than the radio or music because it's actual voices. 2) DVD's in the background. Same idea as #1, just hearing familiar voices in the background really can help. 3) Get online friends! When I'm really feeling alone I start chatting with a friend for 10 or 15 minutes. It does a world of good. 4) Get out of the house. Even if it's just going to the bank, the gas station or whatever, seeing other people makes a big impact on my day. If you're in a warmer climate, go for a walk. I hope some of those suggestions help. It sucks when your work slips, I know that all too well.

Ok, this time I'll answer the question for real. I've always had this thing for houses that are still being built; the idea of breaking in the house before the owners do is very appealing. A busy dance club also ranks up there, probably because that would be the only way I'd be moving correctly to a rhythm.

Don't worry about how a woman will react to your lack of experience. Just don't hang a sign around your neck that states these things. Get to know someone and when the time comes, go with the flow. Don't obsess over the things you haven't done or it'll hold you back. You'll find the right person to share these experiences with, just remember that none of them are the end-all be-all. Finding someone you click with on a mental level is harder than finding someone who will want to hold your hand, kiss and yes, even have sex.

I'm proud of you alexx, that had to have been really hard. Now that you can be safe about it, you may want to start to examine why you have a hard time saying no. Baby steps (and that is NOT a pun).

This directly relates to Alexx's other thread, you might want to read up on it. Alexx, you're very brave for going ahead with this. I personally am a big fan of the direct approach in these kinds of situations. It was hard for me to tell my parents when I started having sex, and I was 18 at the time. You're going to have a harder time at this, but just keep remembering that you're telling her because you want to be safe, you want to be responsible, you want to be adult about this. And that is commendable. The whole argument about you being 14 and having sex, I'm not going to touch that. The fact is, you plan to continue having sex and you need to protect yourself.

It's an intensely personal question, but part of the reason I come to ENA is to get my feelings out in the open. So, here we go. 1) 13 years 2) We got married young and as she got older she changed quite a bit. The nail in the coffin was discovering she had cheated many times on me. 3) I don't know what you're asking. (edit!) Hey ok, now I get it. At one point I committed suicide because the pain was intense, but I quickly disregarded the idea. 4) It didn't take long, actually. She and I were drifting apart in the last 2 years of the marriage, then we got separated for about 4 months, and I wasn't completely surprised she cheated on me. I talked with so many friends and family during our separation that I never felt totally alone, and they really helped me see what kind of person I was. Coming to ENA has helped me a lot too because I realized many of the things I was feeling weren't unique to me. I don't know how you know when you're totally better, I don't think you just wake up and know. But I feel better about myself now than I have in a long long time, and that is progress to me.

Yep. Someone had asked here before if it makes you gay for being able to give yourself a blowjob. The obvious answer is no, it's no different than masturbating. But in a guy's mind, you are still putting a penis in your mouth, and in this particular example, you are still putting semen into your mouth. It doesn't matter that it's yours.

I know what you mean, grl. I recently became aware that they still exist and I was very surprised.

Correct. Telling him won't work... asking him might.

Being a total outcast in junior high and high school, I have more than my fair share of experience with bully's. That kind of world is a little different than the work place, but only slightly. I would just stand up to the person, it really is that simple. Now because this woman is your boss, that adds a whole new dimension to the issue. My boss is a bully too, but he very much respects someone when they stand up for themselves. The stare down is a tough one, I find that all the prepared remarks I had just vanish with that stare. So, my answer is to get angry instead of to let it make me more timid. I just think, "I damn well do know what I'm talking about, and it's not my fault you're too big of an idiot to recognize that." Be confident in your work, in what you do... own it. It's much harder for a boss to push you around when you can shoot down their petty, and often unwarranted, concerns. In day to day life, just let the fire build inside of you. You do not have to take crap from people, and you can let them know it. Chances are they get away with it all the time, so someone actually putting them in their place would be something they don't know how to deal with.

I know where your boyfriend is coming from. It's just a bit of a mental thing, even if he didn't ejaculate into your mouth, I guarantee there was some pre-cum and he knows that. There's a definite homophobia aspect to this, even if it's his own cum. It may be that he'll never get over it, but you should definitely tell him how much you want to kiss him after oral sex. You could even tell him how much you would like it, how much it would turn you on. For me it was being told how much she really got off on kissing after oral sex. I can't say that it ranked particularly high on my list, but it did on hers so I got cool with it.

Blech, this is embarrassing to talk about but I figure my friends at ENA could offer some advice. I've wrestled with acne for my entire life, and I'm finally starting to get it under control on my face using Proactiv, but I'm a little unsure how I can get things better on my back. I'm separated, I don't have a third arm, and there's not enough booze in the world to ask my roommate for assistance. Does anyone have some advice on how to reach those tricky spots on your back with a product like proactiv?

I just went to my bank and asked to talk to a financial advisor. He helped me set up a mutual fund.

This is an awesome story! Making hot monkey love in the hallway after sharing an unspoken moment of passion? Seriously, wow. It really does sound like you two are becoming a couple, but you should bring it up soon just to be sure.

I'm honestly not trying to be rude, but if you do a search on the Sex & Romance forums for anal sex, you'll find many threads full of helpful information.

That is a really unusual question. If I had just met my uh... wife... I would most definitely not want to have sex on that first night. I can't even believe the amount of stress I would be feeling, not to mention what she would be feeling. I'd probably want to talk to her a little bit, find out what her favorite food/drink is and get that from room service just to make her feel more comfortable, then keep getting to know her. I really don't think sex would be on my plate for a while, I might not even like this woman. I've gotta know, why do you ask? Are you in this situation or are we talking hypothetical?

Aren't you the one who started it? What's wrong, not getting the answer you hoped for? I'll admit I'm surprised at the number of "I'd rather be pretty" answers.

Ouch, I come off that way? Ok, mental note, I need to shut the hell up.

My future is so bright that I need to wear........ nah. I'm not gonna go there. And trust me charles, it ain't false, and it ain't modesty.

Um... I'd settle for my bedroom right now. it's been a while.

I could go for A or B. I know I'm no prize physically, but I don't really consider myself ugly either. If I had a beautiful, loving woman that really loved me, could I be ok with being fugly? Yeah I think I could, but it would be tough because I'd be self conscious about it. I'd worry that cause I was so ugly she'd want someone else. If I was all purdy and single then I know at some point I'd find that special someone. But being overly attractive does have its downsides (believe it or not!) because you run into more people that don't really care about who you are. No first hand experience here, but I've had a few pretty people complain to me about it. I was torn between telling them 'boo hoo' or kicking them in the nads. Honestly though, I could see where they were coming from. If you really twisted me arm on this one, I'd go with A), but only if I had a little more self confidence.

Lets see... dorm room with the door open, rest stop during the day against the car (anyone could've seen us if they pulled in), friend's bathroom during their 1999 New Years Eve party, in front of a church at night... There might be more, but those are the ones that stick out in my memory.

Some treatments work for some and not for others, it doesn't mean it's worthless. I'm sorry that it's not working for you, but like sophie said, hasn't it been more like a week? I've been using it for 2 weeks, once a day not twice, and it's making a gradual difference. I've looked in the mirror and I've actually done a double take because for a second I don't recognize myself. That's progress. The big thing with Proactiv is find the routine that works for you. Following their directions to the letter doesn't always work. But since I know you've got some pretty serious issues, you still should really try to get to a dermatologist.