greyskylullaby

well, i got over my fear and got a test today, i took one and it came out NEGATIVE!!! of course i'm not jumping to conclusions, im going to take another test in a week or so if i still haven't gotten my period, i have another one, but for now i am very relieved. this was definitely a wakeup call for me though, no more stupid mistakes and no more believing guys rediculous stories! thanks for all your help on here, and i will keep you updated, if this thread is still alive. heh.

yeah, same with me, i've always kissed on a first date, and the first time i didn't i wondered if something went wrong. it's sort of a normal thing to me, at the end of the date, or in the middle, if it's going really well, but i never plan on it or decide to do it, i'd say just let whatever happens happen and don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.

well i personally find it to be a compliment, and it does turn me on more. alot of the time the guy i am kissing will get embarrassed about it, i don't see why he is embarrassed, it is a natural thing and most girls find it a turn on or a compliment. however i can understand for people who are new to making out and such, it may be a bit awkward, especially when a girl doesn't know that guys usually do get boners from making out. for the people who asked how you can tell, usually when you are making out you are close to the guy your body is against his, you might feel it with your leg or something.

hmm this is a good topic... i must say i am shocked, but my truly best kiss occurred not while in love, not in a moment of passion, hell, not even with a guy i knew. it was simply a meaningless kiss between two perfect strangers on a night i can barely even remember. i was 15, and stoned to all hell. i was hanging out with a big group of people sitting outside, just chatting. i was making useless chatter with some guy i had just met, we flirted a bit and i was sitting next to him.. there were tons of other people there, and im usually really shy when im arond a bunch of people, and would never normally just kiss someone.. but this was different.. it was like we were the only two peole there.. all i could here was his voice.. his eyes put me in a trance.. at one point he asked me if i smoked, i told him i was stoned at the moment, to which he replied, look at me.. i looked into his eyes.. and he looked into mine.. he said, i could probably kiss you right now and smiled. i just stared into his eyes, as if i was being sucked in. i smiled, then it just happened, like to oppositely charged magnets, our lips locked and i was engaged in the mosty amazing kiss i have ever felt in my life. i dont even know what it was... perfect technique? maybe, instant connection? maybe, just young and high? maybe. but whatever it was, it sent my whole body for a loop, i was tingley all over and an amazing rush just took me over. it was absolutely undescribeable. it only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.. and then it was over, i was back to earth with a crash with a happy sort of nostalgia and a lingering tingle all over. the rest of the night is sort of a blur, the kiss was like a great neon sign over a dull lifeless city. nothing more happened with us, but i saw him a few times after that, maybe i just imagined it, but every time since then that we had locked gazes, i just felt that tingle all over, as if it had just happened again.. i guess i got a bit carried away with that! oh well, it is definitely not the typical love-of-your-life best kiss story.. but i will never forget it.

heh.. thanks for the help guys.. not what i wanted to hear, but i guess it is what i needed. btw i am 17 i know i am in no way fit to be a parent and i guess i should have thought about that a bit more before i even had sex with the guy.. i know, ive made about a million mistakes, i dont even know where to begin.. i really do need to start acting like an adult.. i guess its just that you dont really understand that until something like this happens.. wish i had. i guess i will have to get the money and get a pregnancy test and get over my fear, because your right.. it is better than not knowing.. and also btw i guess i did definitely miscalculate the 6 weeks thing, i dont know where i got that one.. oops. thanks for alll the help.. it was hard to read some of it but i know all in all you guys are right, i need to get a test..

well, if you ask me it seems like its a typical prbem, just exadurated in your case.. have you been going out for longer then 6 months? if so this is slightly less likely the case.. but if not it just seems like a classic problem, you are head over heals, and this girl is your eveything, and she loves you too, but the problem is she has other important things in her life.. and that makes you sad because you wish you were her everything.. if this is the case, my best advice would be to find some other hobbies, afriends to hang with, etc. the you can both enjoy separate lives.

well i can definitely relate, since i have a bad habit of beign a snoop ocasionally, and i know those things are hard to see when you come accross them.. seems like a difficult situation you are in here.. what i am thinking is that as you said, "if I know he'd never do anything to hurt me, then... you know, why bother with it?" that is true, but you did bother with it.. meaning deep down you dont "know" he'd never do that. you are curious that is all, many of us are guilty of the same. the truth is, something out of the ordinary may possibly happening.. i wouldnt jump to conclusions or anything but the fact that he was defensive about it and tried to hide it in the first place, makes me think, if it isnt bad, why would he hide it.. i know thats hard to see, especially after 7 years. but you cant just ignore it, it was bothering you enough to go through the stuff, so it is obviously a big deal.. i might reccomend trying to talk to the girl frienndly, just ask her like what she thinks of "___" (ur bf) and not mention that u 2 are going out.. just see what she has to say and see if there really is anything to wory about.. just a suggestion. either way, good luck.

the main points are in bold, if you dont feel like reading the whole thing well, so about a month ago i did a very stupid thing and had sex with my now ex bf that i thought really cared... turns out he was just using me. but thats a different story. the issue at hand it that i havent had my period in quite a while.. i feel like i should have gotten it by now. (i dont keep track of them) as far as i know i dont have a very regular schedule. anyway, it happened on i believe june 27th. that is the only time i have had sexual relations with anyone for quite a few months. at the time, i trusted the guy completely, but since it appears that he used me, i dont know how honest he really was. he told me that because of an incident in his childhood he was rendered unable to have children. and that he is allergic to laytex. so we didnt use a condom or anything. he seemed like he was telling the truth to me. really, but you just never know. anyway now i feel i am over due for a period.. i havent talked to this guy since, and i would sort of like to keep it that way.. but im sort of worried. if i concived on that day, i would be 6 weeks pregnant today. and i dont believe i have any symtoms...? one day i can remember having the feeling of having to pee often, but that only lasted a day and i have gotten that before.. that was about a week ago. hasnt happened since one day i remember feeling generally dizzy and "woozy" all day, but not really nausious. but i hadnt drank anything other than soda in a few days and i was in a VERY irregular sleep schedule. today i had some dizzyness, but i think that has more to do with a hangover then anything.. another problem: gettting a pregnancy test.. is sort of out of the question first of all i dont have the money to buy a home test.. (and even if i did i really dont think i could bear the humiliated feeling..im a very nervous person) the doctor isnt an option either. because i'd rather not do anything that drastic unless im sure that im not just over reacting. i really cant talk to anyone about this.. i just cant.. im really scared.. it is all i can think about.. and i really need somehelp..just maybe someone to talk to, or some encouraging advice?? i dont know what to think about this. and i know some of you will probably say just go to the doctor or just go get a test.. but i have already seriously considered this.. and you telling me it will not really help any. anything else would help LIKE CRAZY though. so thank you very much in advance. another thing.. is there any place i could go that like.. gives tests to people anonymously? witout needing any personal info? sorry about the long post... i tried to keep it as short as possible..

don't sweat it too much, a phobia is pretty natural, if thats what it is, and in time you can work through those things. i know what you mean though, they can be a real pain

alright cool then glad i could help.

well i think both means he cares but in 2 different ways. if he asks alot about you, then he probably finds you attractive and might be interested in getting to know you better, but if he tells you alot about himself its more likely that he genuinely trusts you as a friend (this is advice from a girl though)

if you ask me you need to dump that bf of yours! it is clear from what you've said that all he cares about is sex and you are looking for more than that. you should not feel bad for not "pleasing him" you arent his slave, and if he cared about you, then he wouldnt need to be satisfied 3 times a day to be happy with you. sounds to me like if what you've said is true, you deserve much better!

we have only been togeather for like 2 weeks, but i know him pretty well despite that. that is a very good point i guess i didnt look at it that way, i'll keep that in mind thanks for the help, and of course no matter what happens ill keep it safe

well i cant believe I'm actually posting this, but here goes: well first off im new to this forum so.. hi! anyway heres my situation. i haven't been going out with my current bf for a very long time, but i feel like we have a really strong connection and i really like him, the thing is he is ready to have sex, and i am too, but one of my friends and her boyfriend started having sex too early in their relationship and now thats all they do. i really want to but i am afraid that the same thing will happen to me.. i really like him and i want our relationship to be special, not just sexual. some of my friends have been able to do this, too but i am just afraid that i could ruin it. do any guys out there have any opinions on this? (i want girls opinons too though.) thank you, any help is appreciated.

well, usually if there is any question of an abusive relationship in your mind, then it probably is abusive. i think the best thing to do is to talk to your spouse about how you are feeling abused, and if they respond negatively, by geting angry at the accusation or brushing it off as stupid, then it is not a good relationship. if this person really cares about you, they ask why you are feeling this way. if that is what happens, then you may have just let your mind get the best of you. but i highly recommend talking to them since you may have subconsciously gotten yourself into an abusive relationship because of deep rooted skeletons still in the closet.

i know how you feel here, since when i broke up with my ex, he threatened to kill himself and made me feel terribly guilty. breaking up with someone when you know its right is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you still care about her as a person. you clearly DO NOT have a good relationship with this girl, and you never will, so you are definitely right in making the decision to break up, but you need to show her that you dont want to be with her. by taking her back every time,it makes her thinnk there is hope. i know its scary when she says she will kill herself, but that is just a threat, and you need to understand that. you need to tell her, maybe on the phone is best in your case tell her that your relationship is not a good one, and that you cant stay with her just because you feel sorry for her. tell her she will be much happier with someone else. then, hang up. if she says she is going to kill herself, DO NOT RESPOND! not negative, not posative, simply ignore the threat. dont let her think she hads control over you, because then she will. you need to get out of that relationship. so simply tell her it is over, however you see fit, and dont respond to her threats. maybe tell one of her friends or her mom to talk to her about not doing it, but that is the most you can do, or you will find yourself "forced" in a relationship you dont want.

guys rarely "just want to make friends" with a girl. usually if he is asking you to do things with him it is because he is interested. you don't have to make a move, but maybe just do a little thing to show your interested too, like ask him if he wants to meet you and your friends up at ______ (whatever place you might hang out) or something.

what kind of hobbies do you have? find something you are interested in and join a group or club, that way you will be in a position where you see the same people alot and get to know them, and have a chance to meet people who share your interests

havinng dated alot of shy guys before, i know what you mean, it is a tough situation, feeling like the person doesnt like you, but i once was shy too. alot of times shyness is simply because she is afraid of making a fool of herself, or you rejecting what she might want to do. even if she deep down knows you won't. it can be a difficult situation. hearing about how she sent you a very sweet text after the date, makes me think she does have feelings, she is probably just the kind of person who doesnt necissarily trust herself to act on impulse. with the message, she probably felt liek she wasnt under pressure, she had time to make sure she like what she was saying, and that it wouldnt sound stupid, and if for some reasonn you rejected it, she wouldn't have to deal with as much embarrassment. so, the idea is to get her to feel like she isnt under any pressure, and that she doesn't have to make any moves, and then, she will want to. what i'd reccomend, is in the beginning, make slight gestures yourself to show affection, like holding her hand, making eye contact, etc, but nothing serious, as this may make her feel obligated to do someting, and thereforeeee, she wont want to. here are some tips: keep it nice and friendly, talk about subjects she seems interested in make her laugh. however you may choose to do it, if you make her laugh, it is a sign she is loosening up. ask her questions about herself, but only simple ones ex: whats your favorite food, have you seen the movie ____ and what did you think of it. nothing to personal, because answering potentially embarrassing questions will make her less comfortable. when it comes to talking about yourself do somewhat the opposite, tell her things that seem sort of personal, since it will make her feel special that you would share that information, and she may offer up something more intersting about herself, and if you respond posatively to it, she will feel more confident that she did something and the results were good, she may do more. do half the work. instead of you grabibng her hand, simply put your hand closer to her casualy, so she will grab your hand. you have to be careful with this, since it can be easy to do wrong. if you come on too strong she will feel obligated,and become uncomforable. but, if you do it right she will feel even more comfortable. basically this is a form of psychology. you don't want to do the work for her, you just want to help her do it. if you do it all, she will feel bad, but if you do nothing she will feel as though you arent intersted. so you just want to make her feel like its ok to do things, which inst easy. but anytime she seems to be opening up, respond posatively, and she will feel more comfortable each time. this may seem like alot of work, but shy girls are very often very emotional and expressive girls, which is why they are shy, so once you have her feeling comfortable, you WILL be rewarded by a girl who is expressive and fun. if this seems like too much work, then she probably isnt the right type of girl for you. but i encorage you to try it and see how things work. hope i helped.

there is a differeance between a phobia and just a little uneasiness. i for one have a phobia of vomit, strange, i know and it makes me feel embarrassed and stupid for getting so freaked out too. to figure out if it is really a phobia or not, ask yourself these 5 things: 1.is it extreme? do you just feel uneasy or do you feel like you want to get up and run as far away as you can? 2. does it happen pretty much every time you are exposed to them? 3. does just thinking about the bugs make you feel uncomfortable? 4. does it seem as if your heart rate increases, you feel weak, breathe shallow, or exhibit other nervous responses upon seeing them? 5. is your first feeling i have to get away, a feeling of being threatened as opposed to simply being grossed out? if you answer yes to most of these, it is probably a phobia, which is different from a normal fear because it effects a different part of your brain. it can however be cured, there are special psychologists that work with phobics, though that may be expensive and unconventional. the only way to cure a phobia is to get through it. there is no magic easy way to eliminate it. that means, it will be hard. the way to work through it is expose yourself to the bugs, at first maybe just pictures or a dead one, and move on from there. it is extremely difficult to do, but it is possible, if you tell yourself there is nothing to worry about, eventually you will be "cured" but either way, dont worry it doesnt make you a wuss, phobias suck. if you want to know more, you can try asking me, i might be able to help.