fox_91

thanks for the input guys... its kinda odd now, getting alot of mixed suggestions. Some of my friends are suggesting me to be more unavaliable, ie not calling first and such. A couple are saying that the time thing isn't as big a deal because we did hang out more when she wasn't full-time school and work, but at the same token, when do things get better? And most people here seem to say kick her to the curb. Well right now i am doing a mixed approach. not calling and such, letting it go for a bit, and sending out some messages to new people. Who know what will happen now lol

well what is the average time frame for this kind of stuff? my first GF i knew thru school for my whole freshman year before i asked her sophomore year, so that was a entire year, and I saw her more. The thought of starting over, is just really bothersome... was really hoping to be thru this by now, not worrying about it.

I did bring that fact up at one point, where i would make the effort regardless, I know she has migraines at times, so eh. We did talk one day not long ago, she sometimes brings up the statement "You will probably walk before I am ready" so i asked her "do you want me to walk?" she replied "no". Don't know if it means much, but I think she cares, but how much weight does it carry?

I started talking to this girl in November, we met online and at the time I was 4 or 5 months out of my first relationship of about 3 years, and she was about a month out of hers for at least a year or 2. She seemed very happy to be talking to me, and I go watch her bowl once a week. When we first started to talk i would go see her at her part time job, now she has a full time, and I can't see her at work really due to her responsibilitys, but i do see her bowl weekly. Other than that, it is hard to get to see her due to her school and job, but She has told me that it isn't because she doesn't want to. So Other than the bowling i will probably see her once or twice a month out of that. So I have been talking with her for 5 months now almost, anyone else that i got to know between that time hasn't worked, because i just felt like she was someone i wanted to stick with. But as you could proably imagine, it can be wanning at times. She isn't ready for a realtionship, she wants to be friends first and get to know me, but the catch is that it is hard to be with her more than at bowling due to the courses and her job. She knows that I am ready to commit to her and she says she feels bad that she can't just say yes yet. I find it rather tough to be in this position, I would love to hang out all the time with her and get to know her more but its just not somthign that happens a lot. Sometimes i feel like i am spinning my wheels, but there are times when it is worth it. Her birthday was right around valentines, so i got her a small gift which she liked. and most nights i see her i get a kiss or 2. I just don't know how i should proceed. I'm not really happy single, and only having a part time job while in grad school, makes it tougher to keep my mind occupied. And at times i wonder if it is worth the time, she has been a little flaky sometimes, but she does work a stressful job, and i know sometimes you just dont' want to do anything after work, its annoying, but i don't want to jump down her throat for it. Maybe i need a fresh perspective, any ideas? thx

He lives in State College PA, and would move to Erie, so its a good 4 - 5 hr drive i would think.

Its not that I don't respect the decision, but if I let him move here with me then his choice does influence me. I wouldnt mind living with him, but i'm concerned about what would happen. If I just say "no you can't live with me" but don't have at least a suggestion to try to help, what kind of friend would I be?

My friend has 18 credits left of college, and has loans out. Just lost his job he has at school. He wants to drop out and move in with me, get a job and pay his loans and go back to school who knows when. Any ideas what he should do? I think it would be best to take out the loan, finish the last semester of classes, try to find work in the meantime, pay his rent and start to peck at the loan. If he leaves now, he will have to start paying the loan off, and have to find a job lacking the degree to back it up. How would the math work out? I thought you have to start paying the student loans 6 mo after you leave school, so if he left he would have 6 months (little over a sem) then start to pay the loans. If he stays and take the loan for the last 18 credits, yeh he has more loan, but doesn't have to pay them for at least 9 or 10 months in which he could get another small job to get started on repayment. Maybe even consolidate the loan. Ideas?

I don't trust her. Our email conversations have taken place over private emails so i doubt the dating site could do much. So other than knowing my email and my city, thats all she got. nothing else. I'm not even showing interest when i reply to her to tell her to stop, but she sends more. then the last straw was today when she asked me to western union her 1000$ to get her ticket that she didn't know she needed to buy before getting her visa..... yeh... I'm not stupid, it just all went so fast that it was hard to handle it all.

Ok this is getting worse, she keeps emailing me, and telling me how she is getting ready to come to USA... she even sent me a pic of her passport and such. She asked for my number and such but I didn't tell her of course. All she would know is my email (duh) and my city. I don't even reply to her, cept to tell her that i don't think this is going to happen. She is apparently goign to send me her flight info and stuff...... idk what i should do about this, its getting way odd lol

I received a email on link removed last week, profile wasn't there anymore but the person gave me their email and wanted to talk. I figured why not, its just a email. So i got a email back a day later, from some chick in Russia... ok odd. she was telling me about herself and really, just telling me about herself, and how she is coming to America on a temp green card blah blah blah. Ok I'm not stupid, theres some flags going up. She even sent numerous pics of her with her friends and such. She seems like she wants to spend her time in the USA in my town, which idk why my town isn't the place i would come if i was only coming to America on a 3-6 month run. I guess I am concerned about getting her to come to my town. I know the saying "if its to good to be true,...." bc her pics are def nice, and such. but man its so odd, how did they find me on match. BC i know if i searched all of the USA the chances of me coming up high on the list is slim to none. its just weird i guess

Well I talked to her yesterday. I don't want to write her off because i do like her. I did notice how hard it is to make plans with her, so i put the ball in her hands to call me with something. If she doesn't then fine, i can move on. But maybe after talking with her she might see that she was being like that and might surprise me..... yeh and maybe im a Chinese jet pilot (and im not btw lol)

Is there a time when you have to cut your losses and leave? I have been talking to a girl now for 3 months, but I can't get a answer from her whether or not she likes me. I know she said she wants to take things slow and get to know each other some, but how long to do you sit around and wonder if you are ever going to move on past this waiting stuff? I like the girl and I am totally ready to commit to a relationship, and she knows this, but when is it just waiting for her to be ready and sitting around being played?

I think its a little of both really. From the sounds of it, she lost a lot of trust in guys after her last relationship, so she is taking things slower because of that. I kinda of talked to her about it and she admits that she wants to have a relationship but she just is taking things slower. It really seems to upset her, and she seems upset that she can't just start up with another relationship. We have a good time when we hang out and such, seems like its just a time thing. I hate to bring up the barriers and such, but I am slowly trying to work thru them as well.

I have known this girl for almost 2 months now, we have gone out together and had good times when we did. But its a little more complicated than that (or why would I even post haha ) She is differnt than other girls i dated, she is moving slowly, almost like she is playing very hard to get. She even came out and told me that she has some barriers that will make things hard, not anything real, just i assume she means that the barriers are more or less there to keep the rifraff out lol. Because of them, I have been moving rather slowly, a kiss here and there. But last week we went to a movie, where I got her to commit to a kiss more or less (brushing her cheek with my nose and she turned and kissed me). That happened a few times, along with hand holding. She even bought me a Christmas gift (but to be fair i told her i would get her something on my business trip so i'm unsure if it was just to balance) However she doesn't really express her feelings much, and right now she told me that it took her a few months before her Ex got thru that part. So it makes it hard for me to tell how she is feeling and if I am making headway (altho the movie thing seems to indicate that I am). I was with her and her family on new years, she didn't want me to cling to her, so i didn't and I just hung out, the night ended with some movie watching and hand holding, no kissing because of her dad being right there, and the fact that the family barely knows me. I think I would like to ask her to be my GF, we seem to have a good time together, but like i said, the "barriers" make moving slower. But I am afraid that if i ask her to soon that it might just blow it, or she would know how i feel and can keep me waiting till she wants it. Anyone have experience with girls like this? Suggestions? Thanks ya

wow thats weird im in the same boat as u. putting my notice in a week, im goin back 2 school on a scholarship full time. i would love 2 work the extra 2 weeks, but im still in my proab. period so i figure they will let me go, but im stll gonna put the notice in. i just hate knowing your putting ur notice in but everyone talks 2 you like your not. not that i don't want to tell them, just not the right time 2 do it.