Daligal83

You might also want to try introducing him to more people or clubs that he's interested in that you're not involved in. I have a feeling that the more people he meets, the more he'll lay off. He's probably just so excited that he's befriended someone that he's going overboard.

Hahaha yea I've gotten the webcam suggestion. Might get him one for a random present I think I'm even more frustrated because we just started dating. We've been friends for almost 4 years, so actually being around each other and acting like a couple was new and I love it. Even though I love talking to him on the phone, I feel like I didn't get enough time to really be around him. But tonight was a good sign because when we first talked I was upset when I got off the phone, but then we talked again later and just hearing from him cheered me up even though nothing changed in that regard. You're right though...if everything is as just as great when we see each other next, it'll be encouraging. Thanks

I just started a long distance relationship, and even though the last time I saw him was Monday I still miss him like crazy. I thought he'd be able to come see me labor day weekend, but it turns out he got a lot of work hours and won't be able to make it. He can't ask for the weekend off because he has to ask for days off for the High Holy days. I'll be going home for one of the holidays, but it's not until the end of September and we can basically only see each other on Friday. His work schedule is going to be like this until October...so it's going to be really hard. I'm not really sure what I'm asking...I'm just generally upset at the situation (not at him) because I was looking forward to seeing him labor day weekend. Now it's going to be a really long time before we have any quality time together. Any encouraging words from other people who have had to wait a long time to see their boyfriend/girlfriends?

I've been in your situation before. When I was in high school, my best friend got her first boyfriend and I disappeared. It was even worse cause she lived down the street from me and her boyfriend lived next to me, so I'd see them hanging out without me all the time. What I did is talk to her about it. I showed her an email I had written to a friend explaining how I felt on the situation. She heard me and made more time for me. It wasn't all perfect, but we were able to work through it. I bet your friend is so caught up in his girlfriend he doesn't even notice what he's doing and that it's hurting you. If you bring it to his attention, he'll make things change. If he doesn't, he's not the friend you thought he was.

So I recently starting dating this amazing guy, but he just returned to school an hour from where we are from. And in a week I go back to school, which is about 3 1/2 hours from his school. By recently...I mean we've been together for a couple weeks. But the thing is we've been friends for almost 4 years, so we're already close to each other. We're both confident that we can make it till May when I graduate and can come back. The way he puts it, even though he'll miss me and want to be around me, he's just happy that I'm in his life at all. We're going to try to see each other when we can, which may be difficult with our schedules. My question is, for those of you in LDRs, do you have any advice on how to keep the relationship strong? I know we need to talk about the little things in our life so we stay close, and do thing like send packages and letters to each other. Any other tips though? I don't really know what to expect. I was in an LDR when I first started grad school last year, but it was a horrible relationship to start with and we broke up shortly after I moved. Thanks for your help!

If you are nervous about telling your grandmother, why don't you find people that can help you with the process? They'll help you figure out the best way to approach her and give you the support that you need along the way. You could try Planned Parenthood or look up similar services in your area. I know of one based out of California that helps pregnant woman all over the country. They provide services for a lot of different situations, including needing help telling parents ( or grandparents in your case). Good luck! link removed

I understand what you're saying about how I shouldn't knowingly hurt my friend...but I think I gave you the wrong impression of me. I do have loyalty (I got out of a two year relationship in the fall and believe me, I had to have loyalty to stay in that one for so long) and I don't just toss guys away like a tissue in a garbage can. I think it's worse to lead a guy on after you realize that you no longer have feelings for that person. What usually happens with me is that I'll be interested, but once I get to know the guy a little I find out that we're not really compatible and it seems to happen a lot. Also I think I get scared easily and I'm not sure why. I'm very protective of myself and have a hard time opening up in romantic relationships. With this situation though, I've been friends with him for so long that I know we have similar personalities and values. I know that he'd be incredible to me because he already is as a friend. All this being said...I don't know why I'm so nervous and can't just go for it.

Maybe you should write her an email explaining what happened and say how you'd like to remain friends with her. Also include that you understand that this might not be possible right away and that she can contact you if and when she would like to try to be friends again. It sounds like it wasn't a horrible breakup and that she'd understand why you reacted the way that you did.

I've recently realized that I have feelings for a good friend of mine. I know he liked me when we first became friends three or four years ago, but I wasn't interested then. I have no idea if he is still interested. We are from the same city and went to undergrad together, but he's still there for school and I've moved to another city for graduate school. Now that we're both home for the summer we hangout all the time and it's great. We end up doing default couple things together since so many of our friends are couples and it just works out that way. We'll share food at restaurants, go in on presents for people together, we're sitting together at the head table for our friend's wedding, etc. There are two problems. One is the distance. I don't have a car so getting to him would be hard and he's in a tough program now and works so him getting to me would be just as difficult. The second problem is that I have a pattern of losing interest very quickly and I couldn't do that to him. I'm more afraid of hurting him than I am of myself getting hurt. I really do like him though...I find myself missing him when we aren't hanging out. Is it worth saying something?

Does using your computer for games and the internet instead of work make you feel better? It's possible that you're feeling stress from your home environment and using the computer in this way is a release for you. I may be totally off base with this, but if you can figure out why you are so compelled to avoid everything else and just use the computer, you can start to change this. Some ideas I have are to set small goals for yourself. Maybe say that you'll only use the computer for fun for 30 minutes and then you have to do an hour of work. Then you can reward yourself with another 30 minutes of fun. Also, is there a way that you can do this work on a computer at school or a library so that maybe these games won't be on your computer or you won't have access to them? Or do work with a classmate so they can make sure that you don't get distracted. My last suggestion is that if you feel like you really need to talk this out with someone, check out your school's counseling center. It's free help and may really benefit you. You can do this!

Oh don't worry, I have no plans on dating him. I gave up that idea a long time ago. Now I realized he's not even worth having as a friend. I have enough amazing friends that I don't need him around. People who act like this just amaze me. I don't know how they are OK with their behavior. Unfortunately I have class with this guy next semester so I still have to see him. You are right about him only caring about his own schedule. I've told him that too. Over spring break we had a long talk on the phone and I told him all this stuff he did that's frustrating and he apologized for everything. Apparently that meant nothing! haha.

I try to do NC. I can't remember the last time I initiated contact with him. It'd probably be in January. But after that I decided I'm completely done and if he has the guts to text or call me after that I'll either tell him off or ignore him depending on the mood I'm in haha. I just don't understand why he'd blow me off. If he didn't want to actually hang out with me..then why ask to? Why would a guy be turned off by a girl, even just a friend, agreeing to hang out?

I don't even know which forum to put this under. It's about a guy that I technically wasn't even dating, but we were definitely more than friends and heading toward something when he got very weird. Long story short, it never progressed because I got sick of his behavior. It was like he couldn't decide what he wanted. We've been friends for the past few months since I realized nothing would happen. Since then we'll go a couple weeks of not talking and then he'll usually text me saying "what's up" and how he misses me and wants to hang out. We only hang out on HIS terms, never if I initiate so I gave that up long ago. Here is the current frustrating situation. A couple weeks ago he texted me saying the usual "what's up" and wanted me to go out with him and his friends. I didn't go because I was tired from moving into a new apartment. So we text for a bit and then he calls me and says how he really wants to go to this sushi place with me that weekend and he misses me and the usual. This was on a Friday, and we made plans to go to this place on Sunday when my parents left. So Sunday comes around, and I call him a little before 12 and get his voicemail. I go out with friends and it's 3 and still nothing from him. I text him saying "what's up" and he says he's at a baseball game with his friend. I asked if we were still going ot the restaurant and he says "we are going to do that later this week." I got so angry at that! I thought it was really rude. I told him I didn't think I could and he said that we'd fit it in. So in my passive-aggressive style I told him not to worry about it. We haven't talked since. My question is why would he initiate contact like that, tell me how he misses me and really wants to get together and catch up...then completely ditch me and not even care? I don't understand how he can't see that as rude behavior and apologize. As my friend put it, you can cancel on someone, but you actually have to cancel! If I hadn't contacted him, he never would have called to reschedule. Any insight?

I would move on. It shouldn't be this hard at the beginning so I'd say it's not worth your time. It sounds like she's either playing games or not that interested. Either way, those are not situations you'd want to pursue.

Why would you be interested in a girl that enjoys being called trashy? Is this really the sort of girl that you want to get involved with? I agree with everyone here in that you can be assertive AND nice at the same time. You just have to show confidence and a geniune interest in the girl. As an example, I was at the bar over the weekend and this guy came up and started flirting with my friend and me. We were cool with him until for some reason (I think they were arguing over baseball), he called my friend an *******. We were both shocked. He then turns to me and says it again about her. We made it clear that he was being a jerk and we were no longer interested in talking to him. His response was "Uh....I have to...go..." I bet he was one of those guys that think being a jerk is attractive. It definitely is not. If he wanted to tease her about her views on baseball, he could have picked a much more tactful way of doing it.

I thought it was great! I got my degree in psychology and am now in graduate school for social work, so I have a completely different view of what you wrote. I start analyzing of course. I agree with malcontent that it sounds like the character is hiding something from the therapist. It also seems like it has to do with the way the character is interpreting the actions of the therapist. By mentioning the sigh and the distraction, the character may not feel that the therapist is really there for them which can lead to holding things back. If this is what really happened to you, don't let it hurt your progress. The therapist was probably just having a bad day and it had nothing to do with your session. It shouldn't have affected your time there, but no one is perfect. Again, I really liked what you wrote. Share more with us! I'm sure everyone would love to read it.

Why don't you invite them to do something after school instead of waiting to be included in their plans? If they see that you're taking the initiative and want to hang out with them aside from walking after school together, they'll be more inclined to invite you when they make plans.

I would also say that you can use this 6 months to do things for yourself. You said that you've given up everything for him and that you're addicted to him. In my experience, that's not always the best thing for a relationship. For a relationship to survive, you have to have your own life in some ways as well. Look at this time apart as a time for you to explore who you are away from him. You can explore hobbies, see friends you've lost touch with, and show yourself that you can be OK without him and that you're choosing to have him in your life because you want him there, not because you need him.

I would suggest taking what you have to study and breaking it up into small sections. Then make yourself a schedule outlining when you will study each section. This makes the idea of studying much less daunting, and it will relieve your stress because you are actively preparing for the exams. Also, take breaks throughout your studying so you don't get burnt out. You can tell yourself that if you get to a certain point in the material, you can play a computer game, read a book, or watch TV for 10 minutes. Hope this helps! Good luck!

I'm going to try it. I'm just worried I read way too much into a nice smile and that I'll end up looking stupid.

haha I don't know him well enough to do that. I'll try to do something like it though. Like tell him he's coming with us, maybe not grab his stuff though. It's very like me to tell someone they're coming when I want them to come. I did that to a friend of mine on his voicemail and even though he didn't end up coming, he thought it was hilarious and saved the voicemail lol

Can you send me some of those guts so I can actually do that? haha. I've never asked a guy for his number before. Or initiated the first date. I just act interested haha. I've become more confident, but not that confident.

I'm going to try to. It is my last chance until the fall because it's the last day of the semester. I don't even know if I have any classes with him next year. It's a small grad program so hopefully I will, but who knows. It's also hard to because since it is a small program, I don't want to make it apparent to everyone that I'm interested. I like to keep my private life private, unless I choose to share it with someone. Hopefully he won't be adverse to going to the bar in the early afternoon, haha. It is a program tradition though (even though it's only our second semester).

Well they were sitting next to each other, so I went up to both of them to ask if they were ready for the exam. And then I made direct comments to him afterward...not even to the other guy. But you're right, if he misinterpreted it as me ignoring him then he might have gotten weird. A few of us are planning on going out to the bar after next week's class to celebrate the end of the semester, so I'm going to try to ask him to come along. It's hard because he doesn't make himself very approachable.

I can't remember how the conversation went exactly, but I remember telling the other person that I didn't know how to spell the guy's name to write on a check. So I think that made it obvious that it wasn't about anything to be concerned about if he was interested. Also the guy that gave me the note is older and married, so he wouldn't be worried about that either.