Blured

Thanks, it doesn't hurt or cause me any discomfort, so I'll wait and see. If anything changes I'll run screaming to my doctor, but for now I'll not panic.

COULD I HAVE CANCER?! About 3.5 inches into my vagina I have a lump, it's about 1.5 inches long.. It's not 'blocking' or anything. I'm only 16 and terrified.. Should I go to the doctor, tell my parents (and HOW would I tell them?!) Please help me, I have no idea what to do! ](*,)

I can't join anything right now, I'm inbetween schools. I have seeked help - I'm on medication and have gone through regular therapy since I was younger (My brother has autism and my mother has depression, so my church offered me councilling for years) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, but nothing seems to work. Even if I could join a club, the idea terrifies me of meeting people I don't know. I feel like I'm trapped.

Your post really moved me. I guess you already know how, just cling onto that scrap of hope and self worth you have left. People didn't hurt you because you deserved it, or because there is anything wrong with you. THEY are the sick, twisted, 'freaks'. THEM. Not you, you were just unlucky enough to fall into their path.

When I was younger, I was an outgoing happy girl. When we moved to the country away from my friends, the other kids picked on me at school (Gosh, I have a cliched story ) my self esteem and confidence vanished, and I got clinical depression. I feel totally uncomfortable in social situations, and the worst thing is, I barely enjoy spending any time with my friends anymore, as much as i love them, it feels almost like a chore. I was never, ever like this. Anyway, this is my final year in secondary school (I'm 16) and I'm moving onto a 6th form college to take A Levels. I've heard of shy, introverted people changing over summer, is it really possible? I'm sick of being shy, and I feel like I'm wasting my youth. Any advice at all would be great.

I know, and I have really tried just to forgive her. But then I see her again and I'm back there. I've thought maybe it's because I want to be her friend again, but I dont think so, I wasn't happy.

In short, my female (I'm a girl) friend fell in love with me. As she had lied and basically just acted like a terrible friend, and as I told her I wanted to still be friends, but she couldn't let her feelings go, the friendship ended. At first I was relieved to be out of the friendship. But over time I just started hating her. Really really hating her. Whenever I see her (We go to the same college) my stomach lurches and I jump. She's still friends with some people in our circle, and I just hate her. I dont understand, I was the one that left.

I AM afraid! I dont mean right now, but maybe later on this summer, or even next year. It would be nice to think that eventually we'd meet up. "Theres no chance we'll meet" He still talks to me every day, and we've had alot of video conversations, it wasn't directly afterwards. Duely noted

Because I dont want him to know I want to meet, it might put a strain on the friendship we have.

I've been talking to this guy online for about a year now, we talk every day and I've had a video conversation with him and all that. A week ago he said we were never going to meet, just in passing conversation. I understand not wanting to meet now, we're both 17, but why not when we're older? It seems like he has feelings for me, at the very least we're close friends. It would just be nice to know it's going somewhere. It sounds lame but I just cant picture myself with anyone else.

Well, in short, I was born into a very Christian family, and my faith has been a real strength for me over the years. I was bullied a few years ago and to pray felt like I was actually doing something. I have doubted the existence of God before, but never like this. When I'm in church I see everyone else worshipping (waving their arms in the air in various ways, singing etc. Sounds kind of werid I know!) and though it looks like they are getting something spiritually out of it, what if they aren't? What if Christianity is just some bizarre illusion where everyone sees everyone else doing it and seems to think there is something they are missing out on?! Honestly, I'd rather be a Christian than not, I suffer from depression and the idea of hope was such a blessing.. But if I dont believe it, it's not like I can just pretend that I do. I dont really have anything going for me in life. I'd apprechiate any kind of feedback.

Hm, would it comfort you at all to think that this guy was only an on-line friend, and this means that alot of the thoughts you had about him were manufactured? You said you went on holiday for a month, if you were thinking about him all of this time, but he withheld information from you, you must have assumed some of this. Try not to beat yourself up about this, I've done equally obssessive things and I dont have OCD (I met a guy and wrote a frankly scary email to him, when I met him again he was completely different - I realised that I had imagined this perfect guy, when actually he just wasn't at all).

So basically, your only staying with this guy because you feel your unattractive and cant do better? You really can do better than him. Your right to worry about him. He sends emails about you to your friends? Say bye to him now.

The clock strikes sometime in March 17th I think I wont remember much The sun went so far beneath the trees with me Hide and seek There was a girl in the woods You went in to look for her What caught her I'll guess I'll never know Girl came out a woman Tick tock midsummer clock I laugh through paxil You could charm the flowers to smell so pretty for you and you alone Bees seemed to flock round you Honey dripping off your tongue But only you didn't You charmed her instead Summer sun turns cold Oh, tick tock. I didn't try To stop Please slow down Watch the time flitter flutter fly You stared right into her Could speak softy, could you? She didn't want you She became you Maybe she truly did want it I wanted to keep those love letters Poured over them for says on end I bet She wept I wonder Now whenever I look at her My eyes stop Everything stops Lower your eyes girl I wont let him charm me again

-claps- Wise words. However, someone who has a broken heart wont listen to reason, they'll do it anyway.

I dont think you should send it, but then it's not my desision. Ask yourself; what would sending her a card actually achieve?

Hm, though I've had depression and anxiety, I havent suffered nearly as much as you are now. However, what helped me is just reminding myself that I am in control of myself. when my apetite went wrong, I reminded myself that if I want to eat, I can. When I panicked I nade sure I was in a safe place (eg bedroom) and just waited it out. Medication will help with your apetite and mood swings, and there are certain anti-deppressants that are given to people with eating disorders (I'm not saying you have one, but you mentioned a low self-image). Millions of people are on medication for depression. Remember that depression is an illness, and that taking anti-depressants is the same as taking anti-biotics. Also my mother is on the autistic spectrum, and taking medication helped her with mood swings and apetite. I hope that helped.

I was biting the inside of my lip yesterday (dumb and pointless, I know) and today it's swollen and yellow. It looks like a giant blob of custard. It doesnt hurt at all, it's just looks shockingly disgusting. HELP PLEASE!!

Sitting on the paper cage Hysterics over my own paper smile Dont forget me I recall your fake rage Days cawing at me to save your own self I wish I could have saved me from you You lied to protect me? We never did have that kind of wealth On the days that we shone You still insisted on wearing black The worst part is I became her..You Dont accept I'm gone Just dont I know I never will.

Erriely beautiful.

It's a good poem. reveals a real feeling of being frustrated by how the world judges outer appearances, and how we wear masks to suit this? Nice poem. A really nice poem.

I cant think of any worthwhile comments. Very good poem.

The hardest part is separating the truths. Oh, the Youth of Today.. But You see, I was under the impression, That it wasn't at all like any of this. I'm used to fairy tales. Grow up to be a princess, Youth of Today. Catch up and wait for me I'm starting to fall, fail, wave my arms pathecticly. I saw her - I cant claim I didn't. Smiling so wide, blonde hair flowing in the wind. That same sparkling smile lighting the ballroom. She was special; facinating At least I though she was. She thought she was. Dress up takes on a new meaning now, Fairy tales are so easy to tell, I'm a princess after all? I do resent being flawed. I do resent you being so completely imperfect. Perfection has one hell of a grip, Harder than the ground in winter. He, you didn't mean it. No one really did. Plently of fun and games in my fairy tales. I'm just not sure Youth of Today If the Youth of Today's tomorrow Will be anything like mine, yours, mine. None of this is about the pestering ringing, Nats swarming round my ears Invading into my eyes Forcing themselves into my skin Grow up Youth of Today. Just grow up. - Yeah, I know it's not great, it's the first poem I've ever written. The grammar is pretty bad. Still, I figured it would be nice to post a poem just because. "Perhaps one day you will be old enough to read fairy tales" - CS Lewis

Respect yourself, try to ignore negative thoughts. Thoughts arent fact. Treat yourself, exercise. Find something that makes you genuinely happy. (Running the risk of sounding like a self-help book)

Yeah, great post. I had a similar experience recently. God doesnt make everything airy fairy forever, but life is so much better. I dont know were I would be without God.