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justlookin

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  1. justlookin
    The ? is how do I tell if my GF has had a promiscuous lifestyle.(Not the ? of is right or wrong)We all are unique individuals and we all have different preferences for our lives.Personally I think whattheheck has the right to know,especially if it is going to affect his future..It does seem a little late to be asking now, considering he as fallen for this person.I have noticed in relationships that people seem to tell the other person only what they want to hear to gain thier trust,and As time goes on,_-Well we all know what usually happens.I do not think there is a 100% chance yet of knowing how many people your partner has been inimate with,But with the scientific study of DNA i think it is possible in the future.(Wouldn't that be a surprise to all).To some,Sex is the most intimate contact 2 human beings can have,Some are not intrested and others use it for pleasure ect.
  2. justlookin
    Hey cyprian,Was just reading some of your posts and others on your situation,Sorry about how you are being treated.I was in a simular situation with the No contact .Only mistake I made before I started no contack was (No Closure) Personally I believe there should be Closure before the no contact applies.A time to say goodbye to the individual and the relationship as you knew it.The fact is( People change People )some for the good and some for the bad,you have entered a new world of Distust with this individual and it will never be the same.
  3. justlookin
    Just ask him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feel the Fear and do it anyway!!!
  4. justlookin
    People have different views and opinions about Sex,my view is that Sex between a Man and a Woman is the most intimate contact they can have,it is sacred to me.Personally I would not try and sleep with someone sooner or later if I was not digging them.Most people can only put on a mask for soo long and then the real person comes out in time.
  5. justlookin
    Personally I think that friendship should be applied for a quanity of time to find out if you really like someone.Once the Sexual act occurs it seems to me that we can not get back to that status of friendship.It is like we bypass it and have nothing to build our relationship on.
  6. justlookin
    ... it all makes perfect sense, i mean we went out for like 3.5 months and not once, me... and i don't know, it all adds up, i was his 1st gf, maybe he was just checking to make sure of his sexuality. my friends bestie, is a homosexual male, and he said when we my ex for the 1st time, he was pretty convinced that he was... but still, are my friends just saying this to make me feel better or do they honestly feel that too? i guess time will tell, maybe i'll continue to be friends with him, you never know, if he is, then it'll deffinatly explane afew things and really clear the air... (and it would have made him doing what he did b4 i truly fall for him a good thing) argh! i dno, i'll kp you posted I do not think it is fair to come to the conclusion that he is gay without asking Him.I personally think that he showed deep respect for you by not touching you in a sexual manner.Just think about how much worse you would feel if Sex did happen.
  7. justlookin
    From past lessons learned by me,when two people get together alone,(like it or not) a relationship develops.If I was in your shoes and I knew my girlfriend was going to do something simular,I would deffiantly have a chat with her about mutual respect and honest communication.Kinda the same thing happened to me a few yrs back and I did not confront Her.Well if it ever happens again I know what to do.I would ask you how would he feel if he knew that you we're doing what he is doing?Would He confront you?
  8. justlookin
    . Ya I kinda agree with Dako,Cigars do not have the ability to make us miserable.
  9. justlookin
    [/php]That seems odd to me. All people argue. Passions rise, adrenaline rushes, and negative feelings and doubts are dealt with. The difference between healthy/unhealthy is in how it is resolved and consistency of respect. Never fighting is NOT a badge of a winning relationship. All that said, perhaps it was just time for the relationship to end. Many lovely furfilling relationships are not life-long or nearly as long as we'd like. I don't know. I'm sorry for the pain you are in. I truly do feel that you need to establish some space from him for at least a while......to figure out where you are and to get over this hurt. Best wishes. Two yrs is a long time to just throw away in two days.I think that time is your best allie,especially since you two are not used to argueing.I think that he really cares for you,by making sure you are not alone.Maybe you two just need a short break from each other.
  10. justlookin
    I've never seriously contemplated cheating on her or divorcing her. But I'm to the point where either of those sounds like valid options to me. Mainly, though, I think I just a pen pal or two in a forum like this. Know what I mean? Thanx, To me marriage is not about I--but about-- WE!,I think she is being very insensitive to you,Especially if she is not inviting you to join in her in her activities.Trying to change someone is impossible,I would suggest changing yourself.
  11. justlookin
    Some of the most miserable people I know are married,so I would have to be on the side that says most married people are unhappy,.90% of people who go to marriage counselying have one of two major issues(SEX or MONEY) or both.I would have to agree with lunabell and billyjean on the responsibility issue.When I was married me and my wife we're very irresponsible,especially with the money issue.When the bills started pilying up and we we're having a hard time paying them,well we started blaming each other and saying hurtful things.Once hurtful words come out of our mouths they echo around the world and inside the persons brain we said them too.So all of a sudden it is no longer about money but about the way we hurt each other.Bottom line is! I think that if we had learned to be financially responsible we never would of said those things to each other.
  12. justlookin
  13. justlookin
    I smoked when I was younger and stopped for 18yrs,with the pressures of life and all the stress that goes with it.I started again about 2 yrs ago and do agree that smoking is very unhealthy and my old additude was that people who smoke do not like themselves very much,considering what it does to our health.I smoke about 5 a day and think that it is better then all the meds docs try and give me to reduce my stress level.To be honest with you,since I started I no longer take any medication,including high blood pressure,it is the lowest in 8 yrs.I am currently working and learning about the things that stress me out. I know Nicotine is a drug,but in the meantime I feel safer with it then all those meds the doc tries to get me to take for stress.My question to you jayjay is,did he smoke when you met him?and if he did what was your thoughts then and why have they changed now.
  14. justlookin
    I think truckerbabe has a good insight on the way people respond to being appreciated,she has defiantly found a nugget of truth.
  15. justlookin
    I am happy for you M,I did not mean to come off negatively on religion,but have seen what it has done when used in the wrong way.Good luck on your new Journey!
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