Kwothe28

You will never get this from some people. They will always try to "hook you" in case they need you for later. For example in this case when her baby daddy leaves her again she will come back crawling back and saying how "she made a mistake and now suddenly loves you". Be smarter then that. Dont let yourself be dragged into something like that. Sometimes its not on other people to tell us when to stop, sometimes its on us being smart enough to know that.

You remind me on my friend. She always picks unavailable ones. Last time she met some Polish dude who was in passing in our city. Hooked up and stayed in contact. With the guy who basically just travels the world and has no intention of doing anything with her. Anyway, even thinking about this guy is a bad idea and shows you are not on a good level for a real relationship. He will never move close to you so there is no point in losing your time there. It just shows that you from some reason tend to pursue something that is not really feasable. And it reflects more on you then on some guy who told you sweet stories and left on his own way.

I mean you said you would get back to him and he was maybe inpatient so he shot a message to remind you he exists. Guy probably likes you and was wondering what was going on. And now you are probably “ghosting “. Not really communicative out of you. I know a lot of people feel that they dont owe anybody interaction, but still kinda cold, dont you think?

At the very least she is having an emotional affair. Though my thoughts about this is that you are getting dupped and that she is already sleeping with him. Take it as you may but there is no reason for her to be doing all that and not reacting to it. She is going to his home to have a massage? Really? Please dont fall for stuff like that, its insulting. At the very least any instance of her hanging out with him or even talking about stuff outside of work, you should count as an insult to you and your marriage. At the very worst you should file for divorce. Your wife literally wants to sleep with another man and tells you openly about it. That is alarming and shouldnt have a place in a monogamous relationship.

There is nothing too complicated to understand. You dont like him but he gave you attention and was there for you. But then after he mentioned the idea of another girl, you felt the attention is going away. But then after he asked you out you realized he is still there for you and that you dont want him now. Its quite a “toxic” mentality actually. You felt that you wanted him just because other girl might have his attention now. So you felt that maybe something valuable is there since the other woman maybe wants him. I would try to fix that if I were you. That mentality can lead you to chase unavailable guys.

Perhaps a Spa treatment? Women tend to love those. I also think it’s kind of an overkill. It kills a specialty of a gesture. For example what are you going to do for women's day when you gift her flowers everyday? You are going to have to top that with something else for it to be special. Don't get me wrong, I like your gestures. But dont think you do yourself a favor with those. I would also like to ask does she do something for you? Pampering is nice, but pampering also can lead to absolutely spoiled behavior. So does she appreciates it and does something for you too? Or she just expects you to do those stuff on daily basis just because?

With all due respect, I don’t think you need high standards for what you are looking for. You are looking for casual companionship. Somebody to have there and not to bother you too much. Which is fine, lots of people want just that. They already experienced relationships, marriage, kids and all and just want someone to be there. But the problem is that you are looking your guy through a prism of a relationship. Which he never was a good candidate for as you have nothing but a pity for the guy. Not a genuine feeling that he could be the one that you want to spend every day with. But just somebody to spend a day or two a week not to feel alone. That is at least what I gather from all of this and “I know lots of relationships that function the same way” sentence from you. Which again is fine if both sides want that. But the guy wants more from you. And you not only never wanted more from him but have a very negative opinion about him in general. In 3,5 years he could have found somebody who would truly want to live with him and even maybe have kids if that is what he wants. But instead he is with somebody who has nothing but contempt for him and pity him and who see him once a week just to pass time. Do you even see the problem there?

Xexe "Guybrush Threepwood" like in the game "Monkey Island". Nice. Anyway, in my experience people like that have no true remorse. She cheated on her boyfriend with you and didnt even tell you she has a boyfriend. Her only remorse was that she got caught. Which again she proves by literally saying you how you shouldnt tell her boyfriend that you talked. Trully a bad individual without a good moral compass who you shouldnt be associated at all if you want a real relationship. Just block and move on.

First of all, your views on relationship are different. Its him who wants commitment and to live together. Its you who wants somebody to see casually and think he would just be "a burden". Second of all, I have almost never seen somebody with so much negative words about their SO. How he doesnt take care of himself, how his finances arent best so maybe he isnt buying stuff for himself, how he isnt independant and barely lives as it is etc. Maybe you are contempt having somebody "servicing you" sexually couple of nights a month so you go along with all of this for 3 years. But you clearly dont like the guy.

Guy probably screenshoted pics or downloaded them. Which means you should keep your profile private and maybe even block some people. Dont believe its the same guy who took you out since he can just take you out again and has no need to be somebody who would "look from afar". But you never know with stuff like that. Hope you will protect yourself.

And this ladies and gentleman, is a prime example of why every excuse is just a “No”. That being said, I do think lot of people dont set up boundaries too well. For example you took excuse not to go out with the guy and thought he took notice of that. While, you later accepted his gifts, allowed him to do favors to you and even bought him a gift. That doesnt exactly screams “No I wouldnt date you”. It just prolongs his hopes. Which you know they are there because you know that he likes you. Set firmer boundaries. That means no fraternizing outside of strictly work communication if it was necessery, and certanly not gift accepting.

How do we know OP doesnt like the guy? Well if she liked him she would wrote “This guy set up his items at the exit. Does he likes me?” People use “stalker” along with some other words way too much. If he was a stalker he would, I dunno, maybe follow you around town or something. Or in a newer time, maybe hound your social media. Like this, he is just some guy at your gym. Doing his rounds and maybe hoping you will notice him. Since we established you dont like the guy or feel comfortable in his company, maybe think about changing time when you go at the gym.

Its a joke. None of those two. You lost taste so now you are dreaming about some online crush from years ago. 😆 But we dont pick subcontious. I once dreamt about my high school classmate in the same way. We dont have contact, she is married with kids now and I dont ever think about her at all. But she was attractive back then. Brain sometimes picks up stuff like that without us giving him signs. As Ive said, I wouldnt pay too much attention. Hey, at least it was a good dream lol

Depends how you look at it. There is a reason people dont live with their parents. Two generations are not only usually different in thinking, but their time is very different. Have you ever thought what would your mother do if your sister throws a party? Would she be at party with way younger people who would probably stay way late? Trying to sleep in her room?Its not an easy position to put your sister in nore your mother as senior. Moreover, taking care of a senior, especialy ill one who cant take care of itself, is a full time job. Meaning that your sister not only needs to take care of her needs such as job or obligations around home, she has to take care of a needs of your mom as well. Its like having a child. Which by your writing your sister doesnt have. OK, maybe she doesnt want one, but even if they want one, do you think they can work on a kid with your mother constantly there and your sister taking care of her? Your sister took very big burden on her. So yes, its OK to want to at least be free of that burden once in a while so they can have a house for themselves. And yes, you at the same house as them would also be a burden, not a release. Yes, she took that burden by herself. But I dont think you realize she didnt needed too. My friends parents took his grandmother to take care of her. From my friends uncle. Who has a 3 story home that grandmother and grandfather builded. But didnt wanted to take care of his own mom in her late days. So appreciate that your sister was kind enough to do what she did. Otherwise you would have to take care of your mom and sleep outside of bed all the time. That would indeed be "mean" from your sister. This just isnt. She still takes care of her nicely.

Well yes, loss of taste is sympthomatic for Covid. 😆 Anyway, I wouldnt put in too much thought into it. Dreams can be something subcontious. If you are sexually attracted there, its no wonder you dreamt stuff like that.

That and "Hachi: A Dogs Tale". 😥 Sorry about doggo.

I dont think he "manipulates" her in that way. He probably just found somebody else to date. So he is not as excited about the OP anymore. Happens in multidating, we talked on another thread about it. I do think its "the talk" some people have though. For example some people will "love bomb" in the same way, how they love the other person, how it was a love at first sight etc. While some other would "keep you on the hook" with promises like that. "Oh, on our next date we would see this restaurant, I have eaten caviar there before". And sentences like that. We often say here that you need to have "the talk" for the ladies. So you would know what to say to "hook them". This is more or less that. And it works with OP. She has no doubts she wants to see the guy no matter how many red flags he exhibits.

Without the concrete plan, I wouldn’t count on seeing him again. Ok, maybe he is busy but he could text and schedule something. When that happens always assume they are either not interested or having somebody else in mind. In your case, it’s probably second, sorry.

Two things can be true at once. She is indeed rude. You didn’t do anything to warrant her not even saying Hi. On the other hand, I wouldn’t say “weak”. But would say that you are maybe too attached there. Meaning that you refused to detach after break up. And now hurting when she naturally detached herself and possibly found somebody else. Also her saying how she wants “more confident guy” sounds like those women who preach how they want “a real man who would slam his fist against the table”. By the sound of that, you didn’t lost too much there.

Your husband is attracted by D. Unless you somehow install one, I don’t see you ever having sexual life there. At least in a satisfaction kind of way. I am sorry, but what you are having there is not really fixable. From obvious reasons. So it would be good to seek an exit from there. Meaning divorce.

Are people still doing those? Especially after California Forest woldfires caused by one of those obcene parties. Such needless thing. Anyway, I think he is way too immature about it. And certanly not somebody who should even have a kid. Because he acts like a kid himself. To expect somebody to go with you to cinema and not to her sister reveal just because he thinks you are excited about her but dont want a baby yourself, is a kids stuff.

But does any of those activities includes women? In a way that you can meet single women there? I am asking because being busy and being in a proximity of dating prospect are two different things. You mentioned "boat shows" which is a good opportunity to meet some nice Lady, some of them like those. But some of activities you do maybe are not putting you out there if you are going to meet somebody. So maybe rethink some or even join some new one. I read somewhere a while ago that dating is like a second job now. So yes, you would at least need to be on the right places to meet somebody. Do you like dancing or cooking? Both of those activities can maybe get you in the proximity of somebody nice. Anyway, good luck. Sorry that this online dating adventure didnt turned out better.

I would say that, in a time where some are talking to 10 people and date 3, exclusivity is actually underrated. There is a very famous psychological research about the choices(or lack there of) and hapiness. They splited people into 2 groups. One group was allowed to chose the painting and keep it without the choice to return it while the other was allowed to return it and take some other photo after 2 weeks. The goal was to see overall hapiness of both groups. One who was not allowed to return the painting, was concluded to be more happy with the choice they made. While the other one was less happy and almost in all cases decided to return the painting and choose another one. Choices maybe give you more freedom. But that doesnt mean you would be more happy. As choices also mean that you would think "the grass is greener on the other side". If you think there is always something better, your overall hapiness would not be there. Same with relationships. If there is always a choice between 3 people, would you be happy with the one you may choose? Or maybe think that you should have chosen another? I dunno, but I would be thankful if the other person doesnt sleep with other people. If not for anything else, then purely for health reasons. Dunno why people do that though, when the whole point of exclusivity is the relationship and not just casual sex. And that is another thing. Lots of different people and cultures have lots of different concepts about exclusivity. I never once had to define with my exes whether we are exclusive or not. You usually know at the start whether its a relationship or something casual where you see each other twice a month, be physical and everybody goes to their own way after. You maybe needed few dates to get to somewhere (needed 3 with my first girlfriend) but I never needed to define how we both should stop multi-dating and be in a relationship. Because we both knew that we were in one after 3rd date.

If she is messy and does stuff like that you dont have to be that messy too. There was no need for you to contact her ex in any form. But there was a need to just cut your girlfriend completely after that unacceptable behavior. Because as you can see, at the end, she got rid of you and it was your fault in her eyes. Which would probably happen either way to be fair, people without accountability do that kind of stuff regardless. But you didnt need to be the same as her. Next time when you see that kind of behavior, dont repeat it on your own but just cut it completely.

Are you sure that he doesnt scams you? In a way that he doesnt even pays to his ex wife? Whole situation sounds way too messy. And way too suspicious. Its not something you should strive on, especially when you have your own income. If you are going to live together, he needs to pay for his half.