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coolchick

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  1. coolchick
    Man that is one complicated situation! Sounds a bit like dawson's creek? Anyways, i know that you like Nina but the situation is far too complex for you to get involved in. Would you honestly want to involve yourself even further in this? If you start becoming involved with Nina, you'll develop even stronger feelings for her. There's the possibility that she'll leave you for Luke and you'll be the one who gets hurt just like Ruth Your best bet is to try and focus on other things and keep reminding yourself of the complicated and hurtful situation you're about to enter if you decide to persue further. Even leave things for a while and see if it calms down, maybe in a month or so, Nina will be over Luke and wonder why she liked him after what he did to Ruth with Rachel. Let things play out for now then see how it goes. Good luck!
  2. coolchick
    Hi everyone, I havent posted on here for a while coz i thought i was maybe getting a little better but recently ive just been getting worse. My ex of nearly 4 years ended things out of the blue 4 months ago. I cant believe its been that long. Well we did the fighting part, then no contact and finally decided that both of those were making us misrable and began to talk as adults. Its been ok, although knowing he has a girlfriend makes me cry so much He keeps telling me that the relationship isnt what i think it is and that he's going out with her as a way to get over me. This hurts so much coz i dont want him to get over me i want him back more than anything else in the world. I know that i have to understand that he wants to move on but we got on so well together, he couldnt handle the jealousy he felt when he was with me but i tried so hard to make him realise that he was never going to lose me. In the end, it was me who lost him Just the other night, he phoned me 4 times just to talk. It was amazing, i cant believe how happy i felt. But now, i havent heard from him for 2 days straight. I texted him 2 days ago to ask how he was and he didnt reply but yet when a friend of mine texted him, he replied right away Why do you think this is? Its so mixed signals that i havent a clue if he loves me, likes me as a friend now, or is completely sick of me. Can anyone help? Im so depressed, i cant handle much more of anything anymore and no contact doesnt work, it makes me 10 times more depressed. I really dont know what to do.
  3. coolchick
    Afraid i have to disagree with that one, my ex left me and found another girlfriend but he keeps in touch with me and tries to remind me of our times together so that it makes me still want him. It took me a long time to realise that he was doing it just incase his relationship doesnt work out and he has me there as a fallback. Girls may do it but ive not heard of that as yet.
  4. coolchick
    What i find strange is why you have registered yourself with this site if you dont like it? If i dont like something then i simply dont go onto it and find something else. This forum has helped a lot of people and it isnt nice to judge what helps others. If you dont like it then simply dont come back. Its that simple. For all the other people who use this...A BIG THANK YOU! You have helped talk through my situation with people who know exactly what you are feeling because they have been through it aswell.
  5. coolchick
    Hi everyone My ex ended things with us 3 months ago after nearly 4 years together. He ended it so much out of the blue for me, when i thought everything was going great. He didnt give me a reason for the breakup till 2 months later and even at that, he changed his mind why he did it practically every day. At first he was saying that he couldnt handle his jealousy that he felt when we were together and that it was nothing to do with him not wanting to be with me. He then gave me a number of different excuses with the last one being that he didnt feel the same about me anymore. Now when i look at it with a clearer head, i know that he was keeping the reason from me was so that i would never have proper closure. I couldnt understand why we couldnt be together and as a result always broke no contact to ask him why he didnt want me anymore. About 3 weeks ago, i decided that i had enough and i was going to move on and just talk to him casually, anytime he would mention our relationship i would change the subject coz i wanted him to think that i had moved on and wasnt hurting so much. Eventually last week, he decided to tell me that he still loved me and that he had made a bad decision and wanted me back. We spoke for 2 hours and he said that his new girlfriend meant nothing to him and he was doing it to get over me. About 5 hours later though, he texted saying that he regreted everything he had said and that he never wants back with me. I was devastated yet again. Now though, we dont speak atall but he texted last night saying that he still had stuff of mine and did i want it back. I asked what sort of things and he said "just stuff". He then added at the end of it that he could never speak to me again after what i did last week. I dont have a clue what he's talking about, the only thing that happened was him telling me he wanted me, then decided afterall that he didnt. When i texted asking him what i had meant to have done he didnt reply. Is this some sort of mind game? Why would he enjoy making things up and accuse me but never tell me what they actually are? I know i shouldnt be bothered what he says, but we both have mutual friends and i hate the thought of him making up lies and telling people them Why does he hold so much anger towards me when i didnt do anything wrong All i did was try to be friends then he ruined it by saying he wanted back together and then changed his mind a few hours later. I didnt reject him so i cant understand where this anger is coming from
  6. coolchick
    Im really sorry to hear this aswell LostAngel. I am going through it aswell and it hurts so much. But definitely the best thing to do is avoid calling him at any time. Even when you feel like it the most. You wont get any benefit out of telling him you know, except for him feeling good about himself knowing that he has two women after him. You've done amazing being able to keep the no contact for a whole month, that alone shows that you are a strong person as it is the hardest thing in the world to avoid contacting the person you love. If you contact him now, you will be back at square one and the hurt will only reopen itself. Please keep strong and before you even realise it, you would have met a great guy yourself and will be too pre-occupied to even think of your ex! Good luck girl!
  7. coolchick
    Every single word that you wrote in that post has hit right home. It is exactly the way i view my ex. I dont understand why i cry and what it is that i want. He is no longer the person i fell in love with. He has turned into someone so cold and distant with such hatred and anger for no reason atall. He even makes up things that i have done to him to other people to justify his anger when everyone knows, including himself, that they are illusions. I cry for the loss of someone that i once loved with all my heart. Its like grieving a death as the person i loved no longer exists anymore The person i loved never used to be so selfish and cold hearted and enjoy hurting me more than i ever thought was possible. I understand you wanting to tell your ex how you feel towards her now but trust me, it doesnt work. It only increases their coldness by retaliating to saying that they dont care what you think, even if they do and it only brings back the anger to how they can treat you the way they are. Be best to leave it now, think of how better off you are finding out the true reality of that person now before it got more serious in terms of marriage and children. Everything happens for a reason and it may be God's way of getting you away from them now so that your next love will be deeply appreciated even more.
  8. coolchick
    What age are you?
  9. coolchick
    Please dont contact him. Trust me, i thought that i couldnt hurt more than i already did but afraid it happened 10 times worse. I was with my ex for nearly 4 years and we split up 3 months ago. I tried to keep in contact with him but it was painful. Please read my post "Please Help Part 2" and hear what contact with my ex did to me. Think to yourself, what is contact going to do? Him telling you he's fine, going out partying, meeting new people...etc. Please believe me when i say that even though right now you want to know how he is, all it will do is increase your desire for him back and you'll want to talk to him at every opportunity, you'll be constantly checking your emails and phone and each time he hasnt returned it'll bring you right back down to the bottom of the well. I did it and i learned the hard way, now i have changed my phone number and email address so that i know he wont be sending me anything and i wont let it overtake my life. Be strong, you've done it for 3 months! You know you can do it! He knows your email address and phone number...im sorry girl but he knows how to contact you if he wanted to...you deserve to be available for that guy who is going to love you so much that he wont ever want to give you up for anything good luck!
  10. coolchick
    Thank you so much....i know that now its time for NC. The pain is unbearable. How can someone take so much joy out of hurting and playing with someone that was such a big part of their life. We were friends since we were 11 and got together at 17. Now he's completely different and i wonder what ive done to deserve being treated the way i am now all i wanted was to be friends...why couldnt he just give me that instead of telling me he loves me...then 2 secs later tell me he has no intention of ever being with me. We were talking so good about other things...why did he have to do that
  11. coolchick
    Hi everyone, I posted something on here just yesterday. I feel so stupid. Im sorry for coming on here all the time and making new posts. Feels like its all i ever do but i know that i can just get everything out in the open on here Its a real long story but i explained it in Part one if you could do a search on my name. Basically i kept in touch with my ex after a while of no contact. I felt that not being friends with him was 10 times worse than not having him in my life. Everything was ok, we were talking like normal for a couple of days just getting used to being friends. But then yesterday he started telling me that he regreted his decision and didnt realise what he had until it was gone. He said that he made so many mistakes and that he still loved me and couldnt bear not being with me. He has another girlfriend just now who he said that he was seeing to get over me. I was so confused but kind of happy. But he didnt come right out and ask me back due to this girlfriend. At 4am this morning though, i got a text message from him saying that he regretted everything that he had said to me that day and that he has no desire atall of ever getting back together with me and that it was completely over. He was on nightshift at work so i knew that it wasnt drink or anything talking. I couldnt believe this. For a whole 2 hours of talking on msn that day he was so sincere and loved me but then a few hours later he's taken it all completely back. How can someone do that to another person? Be so evil and twisted. I asked him that and he denied saying that he told me those things atall. I know i shouldnt speak to him guys but i guess its too late for that....he was being really good with me and we were getting on great as friends, just talking normally. But then he had to ruin it and tell me all that stuff then go straight back to calling me a liar and that he doesnt want to be with me atall. I know that he's enjoying playing with me...felt as though i was getting on with my life and wanted to ruin it. But why? What good feeling does anyone get of being so vindictive and nasty? Im straight back to square one again and i feel like we've just broken up all over again. Except this time its worse can i cant have him in my life atall now Im not sure what id want to...i guess i just want the guy that was such a huge part of my life for 4 years back and he's turned into a monster Im so depressed.
  12. coolchick
    Hi everyone... Im sure you are all going to get tired of my posts. This forum has helped me so much and i just want to thank everyone who has replied and given me advice for trying to get over my ex and how to deal with it. The thing is though...my ex ended things 3 months ago out of the blue after nearly 4 years together. I tried no contact but i felt that it was making me more depressed than it was talking to him. He was my best friend aswell as a boyfriend and to lose him completely out of my life was devastating. Keeping in contact was ok and even when he started dating someone else i sort of felt a little sad but it was a wake up call that i had to move on. Im glad i kept in contact as it would have been much more devasting to just find out by seeing them together. Now though, my ex has recently been sending me pictures that he's got of us and making little jokes to remind us of the times. I never thought much of it and was wondering why he still kept them since he's seeing another girl. Just today, he told me that he made the wrong decision and that he felt i had a right to know that he made a mistake and still has feelings for me. He said that he gave up on us too easily and that he still loves me. I asked about the new girlfriend and he says that he's doing it to get over me and try to forget but he cant. I love this guy so much but its like he wants to tell me all this stuff but wont actually come out and ask if we could get back together. He says that the new girlfriend is jealous of me as she thinks im gorgeous. I asked him how she knows what i look like and he replied saying that he was showing her pictures of me. Is this normal? Why would a guy keep pictures around his room of me, bring his new girlfriend in and sit and look through pictures of ones when me and him were together? Everything is so strange. I want him back so much but i cant be the one to ask him as he has a committment to this girl. We were planning on getting engaged this year and had a whole future planned out we've been friends since we were 11 and ive never imagined my life without him. Why is he telling me these things, telling me loves me, is just with this girl to get over me but yet he wont come out and ask me back Please help....my head is hurting so much that i get so depressed i cant do anything
  13. coolchick
    I agree...you had a good reason to leave and the relationship would not have gotten any better. You're only 22 and thats the time in your life where you should be going out and enjoying yourself, not being stuck at home. You left for the right reasons. The only reason that you are missing her is because of the comfort and safety of having someone there in your life. Now that its no longer there you're missing the comfort and safety not actually your girlfriend. You'll feel low just now and miss the things about the relationship but give it time, you'll meet someone else when you least expect it and not only will you get a realtionship back but it'll be one that you'll be happy and satisfied in! You can share the same interests and go out enjoy yourselves either together or both go out with friends and meet up later. Thats what you deserve, you just have to wait for it. It wont come to you though if you stay in an unfulfilling relationship simply due to loneliness. Good luck!
  14. coolchick
    Thank you so much! Your advice is greatly appreciated I really do need to bare with the no contact...ive decided to get myself away on holiday for a bit and leave my phone at home and have no access no email. With 2 weeks of that, it should be easier when i get home...im hoping anyways! Thanks again
  15. coolchick
    Thank you so much Ms Omaniac, The strange thing is, im at university studying psychology but when you're put in the situation all my learnings went out the window! Your advice is great, i need to look more into why he's backing away from me from an outside perspective to realise that he would do this to me all the time. We've split up twice before due to the same reasons but he always came back after a few days or 2 weeks at most. This time is different though, its been 3 months and ive never known him to be so determined that its over. Maybe he feels its the last straw but if he still loves me surely it cant be so easy for him just to ignore me and find a new girl he's never done this before which causes me to realise that this time its finally over. I want him to miss me but the no contact thing didnt even work how can someone with so much feelings for you, switch them off and be stubborn, plus going out with another girl and pretending everything is normal when really its not I would be more than willing to be settled with him...i dont want him to get over me if he still loves me
  16. coolchick
    Hey everyone, Ive posted a lot on here and im probably just repeating myself as time goes on My ex broke up with me out of the blue 3 months ago. We were together for 3 and 1/2 years and i thought everything was going great...2 days before splitting with me he even asked what i would do if he was to propose to me He never gave me a reason for the split and each time i asked he would just tell me to leave it. Well now he's told me that he couldnt handle the way we were with each other, he was very jealous but i put up with it because i loved him so much and thought it was just a way of showing that he cared. We've kept in contact, as much as i tryed to do no contact it just wasnt working for me as it made me more depressed not having him in my life atall never mind not together. He's got an new girl now but he told me that he's doing it to get over me. I dont understand this though. He says that he gets real down and he looks at pictures of me to remind him of how close we used to be and remember our kisses and cuddles. He even crys because he cant believe we're not together but then he remembers the arguments. He said we cant ever go back. I really dont understand this atall. He was the one who was always jealous, surely its a part of his nature and nothing to do with just me? If he was like that with me, he'll be like that with another girl. I just want him back and i feel like ive lost such an important part of my life so suddenly. I sometimes feel like i cant cope with life and the feeling inside me makes me wonder what the point of going on is i loved and still love him so much and to know that he crys too is unbearable. Why would he look at pictures of me, tell me he still loves me, but yet not want to be with me? It hurts so much that he could just walk off and find someone else and hurt them just so that he can occupy his mind and forget about me, especially when there's no need to
  17. coolchick
    May i ask what got you thinking about her again that made you want her back?
  18. coolchick
    lol you know the teams well and you chose a good one! thank you for your advice heartbroken23, i just hope that he does come back. Although im not sure what it would be like as i would be in constant fear that he would just up and leave again like your ex did. Are you over her yet? I just hope that you have been enjoying the single life and that there's more happiness to come after the pain.
  19. coolchick
    Thank you so much for your advice. Ive been doing the no contact thing and keep thinking to myself "am i doing the right thing?" I thought i was just making it easier for him to walk out my life and get on with things if he thinks that i dont care for him or want him back. I do so much and dont know if he'll ever come back. Has anyone had any experience of this atall? Their ex up and leaving when things are good then come back after a few months? What option did you go by, contact or no contact?
  20. coolchick
    I guess the hardest thing for me was that he was someone i was close to since the age of 11, we finally got together when i was 17 and then from day one we were as close as could be. He was always, for the four years we were together, told me that i was the one he wanted to spend his life with. Then out of the blue he just said it was over. Hasnt given me a reason and anytime i ask he tells me to leave it. He's told me that the girl he's going out with now is just something that he's seeing where goes and that he's scared of change. He doesnt have to change and why does he want to i just want my man back in my arms and to tell me he loves me. I was so close to him. Do you think no contact would be good to get him missing me or would it just help him forget about me? Im not sure what to do.
  21. coolchick
    Double J, May i ask how long you were with the person for? Ive wanted to know if a guy that has broken up with a girl can walk away so easily? My ex is currently with someone else now, he's told me that it isnt the same but wont go into any more detail and i dont want to push him. Do you think that he believes the same thing as you do? Find someone new and it'll get you over your ex. I dont want him to be over me and i know that this new girl isnt right for him. Although he was the one who ended it with me i still dont have a clue why he did. I just dont understand how a guy can walk away with no feelings atall for someone they were so intimate and close to and find someone else.
  22. coolchick
    Im so confused about whether no contact is helping me or not My ex broke up with me over 2 months ago and its each time we spoke it would result in a mixture of emotions. He would be giving me the impression that he missed me and talked about things that would get us thinking about our happy times. But then, as fast as the next day, he would change and it would be nearly impossible to try get a conversation out of him. I decided a week ago that no contact would be best for me coz it was messing with my head wether he wanted me or not. I have forced myself not to contact him and there has been no sign of him contacting me either. He's an extrememly stubborn person and i dont have a clue if he's no contacting me because he doesnt want to or because he's thinking that would be him showing weakness. It hurts so much and i hate not having him in my life atall Do you think that no contact would only work for certain people? and should i contact him? It may get us a little closer again, and in my dreams back together
  23. coolchick
    I know what you mean iamonlyhuman. Im scared of letting go of my ex because, like yourself, we were together for 4 years and then he left out of the blue and still hasmt given me a proper reason for it. We shared so much of life together and was like my best friend as i had known him since we were 11. He's completely out my life now as i thought it best that contact was doing no good for me as he was giving me mixed signals, basically to keep me wanting him so that he felt good about himself having someone moping for him. I dont know why im scared of letting go. Im scared of change and i just want the relationship back that was secure and comfortable. But that man i knew has gone now. If he was the person i was knew then he wouldnt have left without giving me a reason. He used to respect me but now is taking advantage and hurting me. Just like your ex, he cheated on you and that is the lowest someone can go. If your not happy in a relationship you let your partner know. Not disrespect them so much that they are out enjoying themselves while your sitting being devoted and faithful. You did not deserve to have that done to you and you can be sure that you are doing the right thing by moving on and not contacting him. Imagine you got married, if he's capable of cheating now then when you married it would be worse. Its a lucky escape and you can be sure you can do much better!
  24. coolchick
    Hi everyone I was just looking for some advice. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago after nearly 4 years together and we remained in contact till about a week ago. The reason i made the hard decision to not stay in contact with him was because each time we spoke he would tell me how hard it was for him and that there is so many things he wants to tell me but cant. He never and still hasnt given me a proper reason for the breakup. Just said that "you can love someone so much you cant handle being with them". I dont understand what this means atall and im hurting so much. We had an amazing realationship and only 2 days before he split up with me he asked what i would do if he asked to marry me. Im still so much in love with him and i have a small feeling that maybe he still thinks of me. Except he doesnt call or text and when we were in contact, it was always me having to take the initiative to text him first or pm him on msn. This was an extremely bad sign for me and i know that from this he may not feel the same way anymore. He may still care but refuses to contact me. I dont understand this as he still keeps all our letters and sentimental things by his bed (he told me this) but yet he said its gotten too late to ever go back. I also tried seeing someone else for a while but it was only as a comfort to help me move on and realise that there are other people out there and im not unwanted. My ex thinks that we are together aswell and he is also been seeing someone but he told me it isnt the same with her and he wishes he could explain. Ive already told him that i love him and want him back but he dismisses the subject. Would you have any advice for me? I love my ex so much and i cant imagine living my life with anyone else. We were so happy together except for his jealousy but i want him to help me work through it with him like we did before. Why is it that everytime i mention it he tells me its too late and that we cant go back if he still keeps all our things, letters etc and tells me that he isnt happy moving on. I dont understand whats going on atall and cant help thinking that we are throwing away something amazing. One minute we were going to get engaged, the next i have nothing Do you think that no contact would maybe bring him back to me if he's still thinking of me and telling me he's confused or will it be a case of "out of sight, out of mind?"
  25. coolchick
    Hi everyone, Ive posted quite a few things on here. Basically my ex finished with me out of the blue and hadnt given me a reason for it until now, nearly 3 months later. We got talking and he said that sometimes you can love someone so much that you cant handle it. He was a very jealous person but i used to be able to handle it. I never thought much about it. I know now that it probably tore him apart coping with the feelings that he had but he never spoke to me about them. If he had told me what was wrong and what he was going through we could have worked through it together. For 3 months i thought he finished with me because i didnt ask about test results that i hadnt even known he had sat. It was so sudden that i was trying to think of what it could have been. He ended straight after a tiff about how i didnt ask him about his test and he refused to explain what went wrong. He asked me why i had stayed with him because he treated me badly, due to his jealousy mainly, and i simply told him it was because i loved him. He said that there are so many things he wants to say to me but its too late now and its gone too far. I know this may be selfish but i want him back so much, i want to help him with his jealousy because i do truly love him for who he is. But i dont want him to be misrable again If being with me makes him misrable then its the last thing i want. But i do want him back so much and if there is still love there, is there any way i could tell him that we could work on it now that i know what was wrong? He was extremely horrible to me after the breakup though, even lied twice that he was going out with girls to later admit that he had made it up just to get to me. Would i be loosing my self respect if i told him that i wanted him back even though he treated me the way he did?
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