Andy223

try to conduct positive self talk... at times when we do stupid things we say to ourselves (man im a complete idiot... she wont like me.... im gona screw this up etc) instead... say better things about yourself. This is one way, there others im sure other people will fill you in there

you think your head looks bad ross... look at daco, hes a dog!!

The answer is simple and its the Only Way you are going to be able to fix it... "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. i've lost almost 300 games. 25 times, i've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why i succeed." - Michael Jordan enough said

Talk to a girl, get to know her a bit and ask for her phone number. Later on ask her on a date. If she says "no" does it really matter? Compare that to everything else going on in ur life and in the world and you will see that a women's disapproval is insignificant in comparison. And guess what!? you will need belief in yourself to do this. You will need "Confidence" to do this. Actually sit back and understand what this word means... it means "Having belief in your abilities" think about it, cos i dont think u really understand what confidence is mate. The thing is, it is the males role to ask the girl out, thats the way it is so stop gettin annoyed about it and Just Accept It! imagine this from a girls point of view, she is sitting around twiddling her fingers waiting for some guy to stop being shy to just get up and ask her out! be proud of your role, that you are the hunter... not the prey. Don't give women far too much power over how you feel... A women's disapproval of you should not effect your self asteam in any way.

so by saying that no women has been attracted to you offline before... you are saying that you "think" you arnt good looking? Mate you arnt bad lookin at all (im not gay) but i can tell you arnt. let me tell you something, i have a mate of mine who is anything "but" good lookin and he finds women left right and centre... from reading your posts i seem to get this impression from you "If only I______ then i would be more confident" As belladonna says "this is circular reasoning" You said "And how can you expect me to be confident in attracting women, when not a damned one has ever shown interest in me offline?" your attitude towards being confident with women is that you need to have success in the area in which you seek it. WRONG! this is not how you get confidence... confidence comes first. Then after you have created it, you can expect all the good results that come! hate to break it to you, but coming online here and saying that you have no confidence with women is bad. You said "Is there anyway a girl can be attracted to me offline" I looked at that and shook my head. That kind of negative self talk serves no positive purpose, so eliminating it can only benefit you. ps: You dont need the whole A-team... just MR T!

women... lol

2 days...

ask them out or ask for their phone number, that will let them know you are more interested

being a "nice guy" as in being funny, having a good personality, and being "alpha male" and successful is the ticket. You are being the best of both worlds.

ask yourself something here... are you making him laugh? are you serious when he is around? why should he have to perform consistantly when he is on a date... mabye he is just relaxed to be with you... mabye he is "being himself?" obviously i dont know this guy so i cant make any real judgements... but i wouldnt judge him on his sense of humour alone... he prolly has a bit more to offer than just being "funny" all the time. It is impossible to be funny all of the time anyway... online is easier to make jokes because rarely do you see the expression on the other persons face

i think thats a great idea... getting two girls to split the cost of the date for you. you can always say "hey want to double date? its gona cost you half price this time" The main problem is sleeping... i mean there arnt that many triple beds out there as far as i know.

someone has to do it

yes that is true , if you are skillful at persuading others you will need to concentrate on tonality and facial expression. Yes all these things like emphatic listening and "first seaking to understand then to be understood", are all crucial. So in this example, persuading or being "charming" will require you to place emphisis on how you say something... However, i wasnt talking in reference to public speaking, or debating, or persuading, i was talking in reference to giving out "compliments" and giving out too many "i think your pretty" compliments will come accross as insincere, no matter how you look at it.

yeh, a lot of people are grown up to respect other people's feelings...It can be very hard for people to sometimes get the message He who does not take the Hint... must face the consequences

well... okay i can understand what you mean. raising your tone of voice, or being smooth can grasp someones attention, but the meaning attached to what you are saying is far more important than how you say it. How" a person compliments i think is not as important as "what" you compliment... by complimenting a girl all the time, you are lowering yourself than her on the social ladder. Dont you think she already knows all that stuff you are telling her anyway? I think you should make compliments "sparingly" and on things most people dont even notice, such as "her personality, the way she treats people etc" One can exist without the other... if someone came up to you and complimented you on something no1 else had ever noticed in your life... wouldnt you feel good about yourself?

If this women told you to f**k off, you would probablly take it in the wrong way. You should bee confident enough to know that any womens approval or disapproval will not effect your self-asteam in anyway. Mate you really do give women far too much power over how you feel. Its sickening, i mean if someone doesnt like you or doesnt want to date you, it really isnt the end of the world!

flattery will get you no where, the thing is its more "what" you compliment not "how" you compliment. its much more likley that this thoughtless, empty chatter could be manipulative? he could be trying to suck up to you in order to get you to like him.

another quick fix... quick fixes achieve nothing..... nothing

i agree... actions speak louder than words. saying i love you all the time, eventually looses its meaning. So the fact that he says it rarely or hasnt said it yet, is a good thing

Duude, you hit the nail on the head

If you tell her that she draws nice, you are being friendly etc, but this is not the best way to start up a conversation. This might broadcast interest too soon, and could draw her away. Don't even think about using pick-up lines, as they usually sound insincere and they are totally out of context with what is going on... One thing - avoid making observations about her. Lines like "i noticed that you..." and "you look like the type of person that"... are bad. She will try to put up her defences, because you are centering the conversation on her too soon, which is probing and uncomfortable. A good way to go about it, is to comment on things that are happening around you... like "hey have you ever seen a classroom this quiet before?... whats up with that!?" (im sure u can come up with something better If you can observe, you can start great conversation. women and ppl in general love talking about themselves im sure you know. Let her do all the work. Ask her questions (Get to know her a bit) Make sure you comment then question her, otherwise she may feel that she is being interrogated. try using open ended questions... it forces her to give a longer answer, which you can keep the conversation going. Questions like: why do you, what do you think about, how did you like, why do they, where did you, when was the last time you, why are you, why don't you... etc. if you find yourself stuck on a topic, or if you are unsure about things to say then ask her' opinion on something. Dont let your mouth run dry. avoid yes or no questions at all costs! hope this helps yo out a bit

Girls arn't impossible to please, you just need to know exactly what pleases them

I'm sure your a great person, u just need to show everyone that. To do this you need more confidence... thats all. Without it, you will be too scared to act, or your actions will not work. If only I ______ then i would be more confident... The interesting thing about most peoples attitude towards confidence is that, they think that in order to have confidence they have to have success in the area that they seak it. This is not true. Confidence comes through belief, it isnt the result of something. In other words, confidence comes first. Then after you have confidence, u can expect all the good results that come from it. Confidence snowballs, but you need a leap of faith to get the ball rowling All you need to do is have faith in your actions... If there is a girl you like and would normally avoid... instead go up to her and say hi, ignoring her didnt get you anywhere before did it?

Alot of shy people are shy because they lack a certain self confidence to do something. Other people may be shy because of constant abuse from others, which has made them feel insecure about themselves. To say that shy people are always thinking about themselves and not others is a big generalisation don't you think?

i agree with poco: A strange thing about giving too much attention: Giving too much attention to a girl early in a relationship will destroy your social value. I know u were being nice etc etc, but through your actions you were telling her what a great friend you would make. So i take it, when you became attracted to this girl, you started to focus your attention on her? This is what men have been taught to do by the media and their families. The more attention the guy gives, the more a girl falls in love with him. This just isnt how it works, the media in this respect is very misleading. (you said that she rang you up being upset as to why her roomate could get this guy and she couldnt). People want what they cant have. By giving all of your attention to a women, you are communicating to her that she is more worthy of your attention than any1 else. Shouldnt this be flattering to her? shouldnt this tell her how much you like her? Yes it should, but it doesnt. Women want men that make them feel good, and the only men that can make them feel really good are those that they can respect, and people respect people of equal or higher status. by giving this girl too much attention without asking her out, you no longer become a challenge to obtain (you become boring) btw dont play hard to get, this is not what im sayin here, all u need to do is start focusing your time and attention... ps: - not long ago was i in the same position as you