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fallslikerain

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  1. fallslikerain
    So I casually dated a girl for about 2 months over the summer and was under the impression things were going pretty well, but then she went off to college. We emailed back and forth a few times, she took awhile to reply at first, but then she never replied at all. I waited about a week, and emailed her again, this time asking her if she had a phone number or better way to get in touch with her. No response. I haven't tried to get in touch with her since (its been well over a month). I have somewhat moved on, and am pursuing other people. I've been batting around the idea lately that I should try to get in touch with her again but i'm not sure if she's even worth it. I really enjoyed her company, and would be interested in maybe seeing her again, but I don't want to be mistreated or taken for granted. Also I don't want to come accross too needy, cuz I know thats a turn off. Any ideas?
  2. fallslikerain
    I've always liked things you do together that have a somewhat fixed path, such as a public musuem or mini golf place. They have a natural flow and you can talk about what your doing if you run out of ideas for other conversation.
  3. fallslikerain
    well if you broke up maybe you could have been more supportive of him.... I can't even understand how you think an entire group of people would be unable or unworthy to be loved or uncapable of loving. The issue here is you, not your ex's illness
  4. fallslikerain
    im a pretty big fan of the rule that a girls looks can get her date one, but after that shes gonna have to start pulling her weight(personality)
  5. fallslikerain
    so hows a 'nice' guy supposed to win?
  6. fallslikerain
    Taking a week off can be a great relationship tool, hope it helps you. I'm not sure what the rules of outside linking are, but I really like this online artical on staying friends link removed especially some of the points he makes on the last page
  7. fallslikerain
    I'm sorry to hear of your situation, i've been in similar ones myself more than once. I know this may not be what you'd like to hear, and other board members may offer other advice, but I think it would be best to move on. The only other thing you can really do is learn from the experience. Learn to see signals earlier and prepare for them. Odds are your relationship didn't deteriorate in just a day. As for remaining friends, thats usually the 1 million dollar question. And with all things, there are pros and cons. I know with my past ex's no matter how hard I tried (and I honestly wanted to get along) I was too resentful to be friends with them. I blamed them for hurting me, cheating on me, etc, all well they expected me to treat them the same way(by being a great friend). I didn't want to be friends with someone who hurt me. I ended up subconsiences being hurtful towards them, since I knew them so well, i of course knew what upset them, and it significantly made my healing time take longer than it needed. I would have moved on far quicker if I just cut contact, instead of wishing I could change their mind. I wonder how many great girls I missed out on, well trying to get back a so so one. Also, if she's seeing a new guy, do you really want to be her best friend she complains about him too? All it leads to is jealously and resentment. There is a bright side to this though, you said you went away to college, i'm assuming your a freshmen, you still have a whole lot of socializing time to go, with an entirely new set of people. Kinda like a clean slate best of luck
  8. fallslikerain
    casual touching, eye contact, personal questions, make references to future plans together. that kinda stuff I however am more of an "if you aknowledge I exsist" kinda guy lolol oh and letting him think someone else is interested in you can backfire, some guys like a challenge, but some people might just say 'oh shes taken'
  9. fallslikerain
    well, i'm a little confused about how she was in love with a guy who broke her heart to whom she never kissed, but regardless, in response to the not saying I love you issue, I definetly can relate to how she feels. I had a girl break up with me about a minue after I told her I loved her, it was rough, and in time i've gotten over it, but i definetly treat the people I date differently now, i'm much slower to open up to people, even people I like
  10. fallslikerain
    yeah, I too would like advice, it seems like lately that i've been meeting a lot of nice girls, who give me positive signals, but then they just suddenly say goodbye and disappear, usually it catches me off guard too.
  11. fallslikerain
    "Here's one ugly truth about past relationships: we romanticize the good times and tend to forget about the bad. " I totally agree with that
  12. fallslikerain
    I'm still wondering if I've ever been on a good date, but my first real dating experience was at 17, however I never kissed a girl til i was 19
  13. fallslikerain

    help

    fallslikerain replied to blackss's topic in Dating Advice

    not long enough? actually the way you just phrased it sounds pretty good to me. when you say things like "we should hang out sometime" or "lets get together" although it makes it less nerveracking for you, since your not REALLY asking her out, it just creates misunderstanding, perhaps she sees you as a non romantic friend, but just wanted to hang out with you and get lunch since she obviously enjoys your presense. If you say "Would you like to go out for ice cream next tuesday evening" its very clear cut and dry, no misunderstanding, she either is interested or shes not, either way, you find out in about a second(usually how long it takes her to blurt out yes or make up an excuss). Not only did you ask her out, you showed her quite a deal of confidence by being a guy who wouldn't beat around the bush, and as a plus, you showed her you had a plan, you wanted to go on tuesday night. thats really all you have to say, remember, its no big deal, your just asking her out to get some ice cream with you, not marry you and spend the rest of eternity and 3 days. i must sleep now, let me know how it goes
  14. fallslikerain

    help

    fallslikerain replied to blackss's topic in Dating Advice

    great, so you have 19 then, i think you might be missing my last point, so i'll try saying it in a different way. your 17, if it doesn't work out, you'll meet plenty of other girls
  15. fallslikerain

    help

    fallslikerain replied to blackss's topic in Dating Advice

    cool, so your all set. I don't think you should be afraid to ask her out, look on the bright side, lets say worse case senario and she says no. You could only ask out/date 1 girl per year, doesn't sound like a lot? well your 17, so assuming your ready to throw in the towel at age 35, thats still 18 girls. You have plenty of time to find someone cool
  16. fallslikerain
    well not to dis your mom or friend, but if you don't tell him what your bothered by you can't expect him to know... i guess we should start with just what is he doing thats troubling you?
  17. fallslikerain

    help

    fallslikerain replied to blackss's topic in Dating Advice

    oh, in my list i forgot to mention complimenting, but your way ahead of me sounds pretty good from what you told me, the only questionable thing is the age number comment, it depends how she said it. I've never really understood the whole girls liking older guy thing(when i was 17 my girlfriend who was 16 broke up with me for a 24 year old lol, eww) you seem to be in good shape, I suppose you could ask her out, or if your shy just take it in smaller steps, like maybe sitting next to her on the bus
  18. fallslikerain

    help

    fallslikerain replied to blackss's topic in Dating Advice

    in theory there should be little things if she into you does she touch you? this could be as little as a minor brushing up against you. or bumping knees eye contact held just a little too long does she ask you personal questions about yourself? does she keep eye contact with you. does she make reference to future plans with you? if you both eat together, does she look at you well drinking, any stroking of an object (hair, jewerly, a drinking straw) however on an aside, tapping is a bad sign.
  19. fallslikerain
    you gotta listen closely to her, especially if she starts comparing you to an ex. maybe she says something like "my ex never gave me any space" that could be her way of saying "I need more space". It really depends on how she was comparing you. I'm not sure if you can exactly tell if two people are compatable thru a pych test. Although many people believe otherwise, that you can't be 'friends' with your date, I think that sometime the 'friend' part of girlfriend or boyfriend gets lost. She had a bad experience with her past ex and their breakup, she wanted to remain friends with him and he cut off for example. From my experience, i've had a lot of girls want to be really close friends after break ups, and it upset me because I felt like saying "If you really cared and valued our friendship you wouldn't have _blank_, and you want me to treat you exactly the same as I did before you started _blank_" She also could see your relationship as on the verge of breaking, or is afraid your going to break up with her, perhaps even her ex surprised her and broke up with her with little notice, and she doesn't want to loose your friendship. Best solution to her about, voice your concerns. Hope i was able to offer some ideas
  20. fallslikerain
    well, I suppose it depends on why he was late. I don't really know the situation between the 2 of you, but in general if a girl I ask out doesn't show up on time, when she's 20 minutes late I'll call her and tell her I couldn't wait any longer and something came up(even if its just my sock drawer) and that she should call me to reschedule. That way theres no confusion as to whether she's interested(if she calls great, if not, too bad) and i'm non verbally saying its okay to no show me.
  21. fallslikerain
    yeah, it seems pretty counter productive to tell him to see other people if you want to improve your relationship
  22. fallslikerain
    being a guy i've always had mixed feelings on the topic. originally I thought it would make the girl uncomfortable(especially if its a first date kiss) so I would try to pull away. However, now I think its best just to go with it, if shes pushing up against you close enough to feel, she probably is expecting it. And pulling back shows lack of confidence and that your ashamed of it. If anything the girl should be flattered that she made you happy enough...
  23. fallslikerain
    its hard to believe its been 3 years since it, but I never went to the prom, or any other dances for that manner. I stayed locked away in my room playing quake 3 arena. I don't think there's anything wrong with not going though, I do regret not asking a girl to it at the time, but 3 years later its just a moot point.
  24. fallslikerain
    gotta take breaks
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