fallslikerain

Anyone have any good ideas for winter dates? The internet is full of a plethora of ideas for summer dates, but not for winter. I was looking for something along the lines of not a movie or show. Thanks!

I was drinking at least 2 separate 2 liters of coke a day and felt like crap, but i've really worked hard to drink water and not drink caffiene(I have at most 1 drink every 2 weeks), and overall I feel healthier for it

just relax and go with the flow. Just be careful that if you think she feels uncomfortable you pull away and stop. You always should respect a girls wishes. The less you think(and by think i mean worry) about it the more you'll both probably enjoy it, its just a kiss. As for timing, you just need to wait until the moment feels right to you and your both comfortable, perhaps just as you say goodnight would work, but there are many ways to go about it best of luck! enjoy

I'm completely guilty of that sometimes perplexed. I'll avoid contact with people I like and try to keep conversations short because I feel like the less I say the less room for "messing up" i have. I don't think thats really the way to do it, you should just be yourself, so your friend can be herself. If theres a connection, it will be there, guys like use won't need games to suceed.

Sadly there is no set way to get over a breakup, i'm sure most of the people at this board have felt the way you feel right now at one point or another. You have to really look on the positive side of things, look back on what happened, look at what you liked about the relationship, look at what you didn't, and look at areas that maybe you could improve on. Try to learn from it, and try to get a better idea of who you are. best of luck

I can totally relate to how you feel right now. I used to feel very strongly that it was a dating war out there and I always had to be on top of my game to make the most of an oppurtunity should it come along. Not to mention watch my back, as there are plenty of cruddy girls out there. I think however that in my struggle to be 'perfect' per say I was missing out on something, that people are brought together (or at least should be) to further each other, to make each other happy and complete. Dating is supposed to be fun! I have(and still am guilty of to a point) avoiding girls I'm interested in when I don't really have anything 'interesting' per say to tell them. Where does it say thought that anyone has to be a private entertainer 100% of the time? Its funny that you mention that you feel your a much better writer than a speaker, because up until about 2 months ago I would have completely agreed I was the same way. I was alway the little kid in speech class, the other kids picked on me for my voice, so I just kinda avoided using it. (even still I don't always like the sound, and girls have told me I have a nice voice). Here's what I did to get over my fear of talking in person... 1)Delete AOL instant messanger. I know its the latest greatest way to stay in touch with people. But for serious conversation its terrible. 80 percent of what a person says in thru their body language and voice infliction. Your friends online could be getting yelled at by parents, talking to 80 other people, or doing work. To many variables. Miscommunication. When you always talk to people on aim, you can talk a lot easier because you can think about what your going to say, not to mention have a backspace key. I think this is a crutch you don't need, because when you have to talk to the person in public its gonna feel twice as hard, and really if you've talked to someone online for 4 months and only once or twice in person, you're still strangers to an extent. The phone also has its problems, but is a step in the right direction. The more actual talking you do in person, the easier it gets. 2) Try getting a part time job in retail, preferably customer service. At first you'll feel weird talking to strangers, but you'll find its very inpersonal and you'll be introduced to talk to a variety of different people. You can take these skills of talking to strangers easily to talking to people you know. 3) Try reading aloud. It seems really simple, but just when your reading your text books and what not, just read out loud. Just try to read natural, don't try to be an actor or anything. Lastly, you mentioned that you feel that too much confidence could turn someone into a jerk. You just have to remember what you feel is right and what you feel is wrong. You confidence has no corelation between the two. A good sense of right vrs wrong is a great thing, and I think you have it.

I'm a major fan of consistancy, so obviously I might have a slanted view on this girl. On one hand she is showing you interest signs, but she keeps blowing you off. So their are a lot of variables, she could be honestly interested in you and just on the flakey side, or she could be just throwing you through the loops or a strange combo of the both. One thing you commented on is that all the friends say she interested, but what difference does it make as to what she says to your friends? You want her to show you interest, not hear of it second hand. And just because she or your friends say it doesn't make it necissarly true. It really depends if you feel like this girl is worth pursuing romantically. If your serious about her there would be nothing wrong about saying "what gives" like Evelyn99 suggested. If your on the shy side and that seems wrong to you, maybe you could just withdraw for a little while. Don't call her for a week, or at least for a couple days. And if you do try to be more specific and take charge, instead of calling her and letting her call you back just take charge and say something confident along the lines of "Next tuesday night, lets go _____"

Yeah, it really depends what your "goals" per say are with her. are you trying to have her treat you better as a friend? Go back into a relationship with you, or leave you the heck alone?

You should definetely talk to your parents or a doctor, even if it hasn't become a problem (in your mind) yet. Talking to your doctor could be one of the best decisions you could make, if your depressed over seemingly nothing, it could be as simple as taking a multivitamin (for example being anemic could make you very depressed and tired)

1) Talking to her would be a good start 2) What she says and How she says it, touching(a biggie), eye contact, personal questions

does he answer on your dates? that would be bad just tell him it upsets you and see what he says, if he cares I'm sure he'll try to apease the situation in some way

Forget about her man, she's just trying to make you get lost, but she doesn't have the dignity to just tell you know. There are 168 hours in a week, giving up 3 of them for someone you like is nothing. No matter how busy you are.

i'm confused. your upset that he broke up with you, yet your signature is saying that you love being single

I have a boyfriend = no pretty much everything but estatic yes = no thats really just the way it is. hmmm, thats a whole other ballgame then. On one hand you may have a good oppurtunity, on the other if she's on the rebound it could work against you. I would just take it slow, make small talk, and whatever you do, don't reference that you know she broke up with the other guy, if she wants you to know, she'll tell you. If she's upset about the last guy, the last thing she probably wants is another one hounding her. If she's interested in you, she'll let you know.

I'm guessing she said no. I think the best thing to do is just to act like it never happened. You asked her out, its not the end of the world. The important thing is that you tried.

Im gonna have to totally disagree with certain parts of this topic. A) Provided there are no extra cirucumstances in her life(like bad family life, emotional issues etc) the reason she has said no to every other guy is because non of them sparked her interest. Also, look at the way other guys come up to her. Are they all slobbering fools, disrespecting her, using cheesy lines. See what doesn't work, and don't do it. Keep it light and funny. B)Anytime you try to do something sneaky like make plans with false intentions, people either see thru that, or the idea bombs out. Noone, and I mean Noone, likes a cheat/sneak. C)Enphasing the Friend part is gonna do nothing for your cause. All it will do is creat misunderstanding and communication problems, unless she liked you to begin with. Which bottom lines my first point, the reason she has said no is because no one has sparked her interest. D) I totally agree with Caldus and Someguy E)Girl doesn't want a boyfriend? Although i'm sure there are plenty of exceptions based on life experiences, any girl who said that would probably change her mind if tom cruise drove up to her house in his convertable. I don't want a boyfriend=I haven't found anyone good yet, but I don't want to sound insecure and needy. edit need to be more confident, make a list of all the reasons you'd be a great person and read them once a day. List not very long, try to improve yourself! You said it yourself, that you think she'd only say yes if you asked her as friends. That doesn't sound like a confident statement to me Best of luck, but I think you would be better off just casually asking her if she would like to get lunch or coffee, etc. Your just asking her to spend some time with you, your not asking her to marry you and spend the next 70 years with you, its no big deal

Hi LonelyGuy, You brought up a few interesting points, especially about the eye contact thing. Its been my experience that a lot of people have problems keeping eye contact with people they like if they are shy or really really like them and are uncertain with whether you like them back. However its also been my experience that people that won't make eye contact is a bad thing too. Another factor may be how you're trying to make they eye contact, is it friendly and harmless looking or is it something more aggressive. I know you may read books that say that you should always maintain eye contact with someone you like, but if you actually have had anyone do that to you, its just kinda weird and almost glaring. Yes, you should make eye contact, but it shouldn't be so much that its overdone, it should be natural. The reason why the books say you should maintain eye contact, is really just their way of saying to respect the girl (not having your eyes on her chest 95%+ of the time) As for conversation, i've always felt that instant messanger is the worst tool for meeting girls at the prerelationship/early relationship period. The reason for this is that when your talking to her online you can't read her body language, hear the tone of her voice. She could be talking to 80 other people, or doing 1000 other things online. Because you can't read her body language(many scientists believe that 80 percent of what a person says in their body language) it leads to misunderstanding and bad communication. How can you really tell what she feels? Another problem with IM is that it limits the development of your confidence when talking and conversation skills. Sure its nice to have time to think, and have a delete key, but when you go out in person, you find yourself struggling even more, because you haven't developed your skills of talking to an actuall person. And of course this is going to make you more nervose. Two people talking online for 3 months are complete strangers to each other when they meet in person, since now they both have to think on their feet. Just keeping trying to talk to her in person, find more common ground, and read between the lines.

Its funny you mention numbers because I was just thinking about that. Its sometimes cool to look at time charts with your numbers. In my last year of high school I was up to 3 total girls I actually dated(for the sake of science I only listed people i dated or specifically asked out, including people I broke up with, not just people who rejected me). I'm not entirely sure how or when it happened but 4 years later i'm over 20 girls now, and still not a good one in the bunch... Time flies

we've talked in person quite a bit, I usually avoid using email but am looking to try new things. I just emailed her, thanks for everyone for their advice!

do you think it would be better to write an email just asking what i missed, or perhapes making reference to getting together to go over the class

Hmmm, I definetely miss one of my ex's dogs. way more than her even. I guess it really depends on whether or not you would be interested in getting back together with him? Did he want to talk about anything in particular involving the 2 of you?

yes, I do

So theres a girl in one of my classes I kinda like, I don't however see her on a regular basis(the class meets once every two weeks), and I would like to email her. Does anyone have any tips on e-mailing? thanks!

Mini golf, muesum, anything outdoors, bowling etc