xmrth

I have the same problem. I think the same as you as well if they will think I'm gay. I just recently made a best friend (another female of course).. someone who kind of seemed like they were avoiding me in a way. Then one day I just said "Hey you want to hang out sometime?" and we have been hanging out and calling eachother all the time. With the girl who invited you and your hubby over, but you couldn't make it, you should just go and invite her over and try to get together. She might think you're a flake from when you cancelled and that's why she kind of backed off. About the other one who you asked to hang out with you.. that's just one person. Don't let her set you back. Think initiative!

I was talking to my boyfriend of how some people say they have sex for hours, and he said something like they change the minutes to hours, so basically if someone says 3 hours, they mean 3 minutes.. hehe. But yeah, agreeing with the above comments, it's more likely that they fooled around for that long, but not the actual intercourse.. that's just way too long. Sorry, I don't mean to sit here calling your friend a liar.. so we'll just go with that she's stretching it

No way. She's just trying to sound like her boyfriend can keep it up that long; probably trying to "show off" her sex life.. If sex took 3 hours.. I think that would suck. I mean really-- as I'm sure you've assumed, don't you think she'd get sore? Or him? Or get tired? Just.. she's lying. Period. And it's funny it came from a girl because usually it's the guys trying to pass off that lie.

This is what I think: She probably views you as some kind of a "backup" in case things don't work out with this guy. You would "work great for that" since you two dated so long and she went out with someone else a month afterwards. Plus they keep breaking up just like you two did when you were dating.

I always feel like other girls will think I'm a lesbian if I try to become friends with them, too. It's not a big deal though, even if you were. It's hard to explain, but I try to tell myself that. It's kind of like, if you think someone is a lesbian, would you think any less of them or stray away? If not then try not to worry. That's what I think but it's harder to get into the head this message.. I don't have any advice for you other than that though because I am having troubles making friends as well. But I wanted to let you know I feel the same way! You're not alone.

----I wrote this before reading other responces. I understand you do keep close contact after I read them, however, this is what I wrote to you anyway just in case you're still wanting some responces: Considering that you two have only been together for a month is going to be really hard for her to fully understand why you don't have time to see her. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now, and I only see him about once a week for the past year, and before that, I still didn't see him much. I find it hard to understand why I don't hear from him sometimes when he's busy with work and whatnot. It's just hard for some girls to understand... and to accept it. I think that the best thing you could do is really just take some time to go out of your way, like really go out of your way to see her and call her, just to set a bit of a "foundation" for her to see that you care. Then try to ease out of that and back into your career schedule and keep reminding her of how busy you are (not of how you can't see her because of it, but just about how busy you are) but keep very close contact still. Being in a relationship will definitely suck up alot of time even in careers. But if you give this a try and consider other responces you get from this post should really help you out. Like I said, it's really to set a foundation for her to realize you care, but to also realize on her own, without you telling her, that you need time for your career. That's not to say you shouldn't tell her yourself, but it's like a way for her to realize it on her own which can be best. But again, coming from a girl-- it's hard to understand. I "understand" my boyfriend and how he can't see me but it's hard to accpet is the problem. In your case since your in a fairly new relationship, you're still setting the "first impression" of your relationship, you know what I mean? But anyways, back to after I read other responces, I think your girl is just very needy.. and sometimes this may not be enough. Maybe over time she will grow out of it, but no one ever can know that for sure. I hope I was of some help to you.

I already explained why in my post. Living together would mean I could see him everyday instead of once a week, if that.

I kind of feel like it replaces the void that not having friends has left me. I lost connections with people after HS and have just plain not been able to make any since then. I have never been good at it and it is frustrating and boring and I feel dependant on our relationship because I have no friends. I'm just very bored all of the time and lonely and want to be with him.. I imagine feeling happier being married because I can see him in the mornings and at night because of our working schedule, and maybe on weekends during the day. And in the future years after college we can have a child. I didn't mean to make that sound like I wanted it right now while I'm still at college. I just noticed I completely forgot to add something to my original topic of wanting marriage.-- And it's because there seems to be so many people my age engaged and living with their boyfriends that I'm just soo envious that they can be with their boyfriends often or everyday by living together, because in my case, we're both so busy that we don't get to even a few times a week.

I want marriage badly to see him more since I see him about once a week, and mostly becaus I'm done with everything. I don't care for going out and partying or dating other people. I'm just done with that. Plus it's not like I have friends like the average person. I really don't have any. I don't really feel like I'm getting anywhere right now except towards a career. I know I wont get married now while I'm in college, but I'd at least like to be engaged. I don't know, I think of the future too much.

Since your friend knows him you should tag along and then start talking.. maybe have your friend bring up that he likes this or that, and you go in with saying you do too. Then start saying hello when you pass him by and all of that.

Background: dating 5 years, I'm 19, he's 20. I want marriage so badly. I want it because I want to see him each day instead of ONCE a week (he and I are busy with work and he has night classes, and I have college classes) Moving in together before marriage is not an option because, for one, I don't make enough money because I'm busy with college, and we don't want to waste our money with getting an apartment. Plus I don't think it would be a good idea because it could prolong the time before we'd get married since we'd already be living together. That's how I feel, anyway. I also want to have a child; I want to take care of a little life made by the two of us, to love and to care for. I want marriage for the right reasons, I'd say.. but he doesn't want to get married until he's "30". I don't know what "30" means, but I know it means not for years until now. I understand it's different for the guy. For the guy it means more responsibility and all of that, money issues, blah blah.. but is there any way that I could help him to feel more comfortable about it? Or at least not want to wait until we're "30?" How about certain things I could do? Certain ways of acting? Maybe act more responsible or something like that? How about ways to make ME not feel like I want it so badly? I hope I'm not being vague or asking a pointless question. It's something I want so badly and feel that I need a bit of insight.

Yeah, I'm beginning to agree with that more and more. But I felt like I wasn't open minded by me NOT wearing color. I almost feel like I'm missing out, haha.

She really needs to meet your girlfriend in person. That is definitely the first step in how your mother will be more comfortable with you dating her, and eventually coming to like her.

I have the same problem. It sucks when you're trying to go and then someone else comes in... and you can tell they can't go knowing you're there, too. So it's just SILENCE for minutes long. ugh. I don't know a solution, though =\

I think it's a really big turn-off. I've always thought of guys who were surrounded by girls as "easy" and unfaithful (in relationship terms, of course). I know it's not true for all, but that's how I feel when I see a guy who is around girls alot.

Thank you for your responses, ticklebug. You're right about what you said.. I understand more now that there really is a time and place for certain ways of me dressing if I do this way. I have never refused to lighten up around his family. But I am thinking about itimes I have and know I could try harder. I've been thinking about this SO much lately. I consider this situation as almost "life-changing".. kind of like something to open my eyes more. I'm thinking about wearing earthy colors to start with while still being able to express myself on the outside and be comfortable at the same time. In the future, and possibly near future, I'm sure I'll be more comfortable wearing a wider variety of things, too. It's just so hard after so many years. I almost feel naked wearing color. It's the weirdest thing. I feel like I'm not open minded or something...

To Galaxygirl: You're absolutely right. I do agree with there being a compromise. I agree because it is just clothing. But it's so hard for me-- Which brings me to what~~ ticklebug said. My response to ticklebug: What you have said to my post is really *really* helpful to me, and it has made me feel relieved. Considering that I agree with compromise (also because my relationship is great except for this problem here -as well as other little things that all relationsips have--) it is helpful to me of your suggestion on how to get into color. I cannot dress this way my whole life and I'm sure I can express myself other ways than just one. To your question of how I wear my makeup and hair, I have black hair and I have streaked purple. I get alot of compliments from strangers on how it looks, which has thrown me off to how my boyfriend can be so embarrassed. My makeup can range from slightly heavy black, to black fading to grey on the top lid, and always just a plain black line underneath. Nothing too too dramatic. I am also very pale.. and do not have any tan to my skin. I know I don't look creepy. But to some I'm sure I may.. Actually, I look exactly as Rinoa from FF-VIII does in my avatar. Which is why I chose it to use

He's not abusive. Everything is fine except for this one thing..

I don't know what to do.. My boyfriend hates how I dress and refuses to go anywhere with me (and that's also my "answer" from him regarding another post I made on here when I confronted him as to why he doesn't invite me anywhere) I cover myself up well, I do not wear skimpy clothing. His problem with my clothing is that, okay, going into stereotypes: Gothic. I don't wear stupid Hot Topic clothing with all the weird things on it, I just wear all black. I wear classy clothing with ruffles and lace. I also wear "regular/casual" clothing. It's just... black. I've always dressed this way, and he didn't have a problem with it when we first started dating... but his response to that is "Well, I grew up-- you apparently didn't." His reasons for hating my style of dress is that he feels like he can't go ANYWHERE with me because my look attracts so much attention. He hates it, he hates attention. I don't even notice it. His family doesn't like it how I dress, either. My problem is.. he wants me to change. He wants me to dress--back into stereotypes-- "preppy", or at least in color when I'm with him, or even all of the time. I can't get myself to change like that. I've been dressing this way since I was 12. I very much know who I am. He confronted me about it over the summer and told me that I don't look attractive because of certain things I wear. I tried wearing some color-- I went out and actually bought "normal" clothes. I couldn't do it for long. He confronted me about it again over the weekend. At a restraunt. We left before we were even seated and he kept telling me how embarrassed he was, how utterly EMBARRASSED. He was so aweful about it. I asked him how he thought I felt about it. His response: "I'm.. EMBARRASSED!" A bit of an important thing he said was: "Don't you understand you're getting nowhere in life dressing the way you do?" (I'm an artist by the way, so in my future proffession, my looks may not even be froned upon) "This is why you don't have any friends." (True. I don't have any friends. Could my looks be why?) "Dressing this way obviousely isn't working out for you." I actually have a few questions about this that I really really need help with. I want to know if this is right that he is like this.. there's no way around it. He will not go out with me anymore unless I change how I dress. Am I being selfish if I don't change? Is how I dress really going to hold me back in life regardless of my proffession? Is how I dress really THAT REDICULOUS!? PLEASE tell me nothing but the truth on this one. Do you think it's a rediculous way of dressing? Is how I dress really why I don't have any friends? Possibly one of reasons why? Thanks for any help on this one.. I'm so.. distressed.

Thanks for all the responses. His family knows he is with me and knows he comes over to see me, etc. I feel very sure he is not cheating.. It shouldn't have anything to do with how his family acts or any of that because they're relatively normal. Pretty much, with all that aside, I don't know how he could not want to invite me over, and how to confront him without him getting defensive.

He is 20 and I am 19. I don't know about doing that only because we do not have the family get togethers often enough for him to catch my drift. And he might not even mind it. However, thanks for your advice

My boyfriend never invites me anywhere and is always invited to things going on with my family, and is welcome to come to anything. I am not.. He has gone to my grandmother's wedding, invited to my cousin's wedding, invited over for my graduation party, invited to come along with my FAMILY to our family vacation, and invited over for everything else, and he's welcome to come on Christmas Eve (for a little bit of course so he can go to his family) etc etc.... I've realised this as he will not join me for Thanksgiving and will not invite me to his get together. He doesn't invite me to any of what I just listed. Not even to his grad party...... Any suggestions to how I should confront him? I just feel so left out of his life... I will understand if it's because it's a family time, but his family isn't strict of any of those things, and I know that because his sibling brings people along.. so why doesn't he invite me? I don't want him to get all on the defensive because then I wont get any answers.

Too much COFFEE. I feel heavy.. jittery.. etc. What can I do to feel better? Is there anything to make it stop? I feel aweful. Heavy mostly.

Tell your manager. Don't even bother with confronting her because she could probably turn it into something. Turn it into something, as in, start a fight about it, etc.

No.. but I am looking to get him something like that anyways because it is our 5 year. I feel like it should be sentimental.