Hey everyone. I have an interesting problem. I have a mental block to making new friends with people I like, as in pursuing friendships with people who I find interesting or people who I admire. The fear lies in fear of rejection, but also in a strange fear that people will think I am a lesbian if I attempt to pursue a friendship.
I think it all started in middle school when I had a girl-crush on this girl who I really admired. I was terrified that everyone would find out and that they would think I was gay. I don't consider myself gay, but my intense fear of people thinkig I am has led me to think that everytime I like or admire another girl more than others I am in danger of them suspecting I am gay. Then the walls go up and I can't relate to them normally. I feel like if I say Hi or make an effort to talk to them that I am showing too much interest in them.
It becomes so frustrating because I block myself from developing intimate friendships for fear of becoming too close. Recently I have gotten to know several people who have many of the same interests as me and who I genuinely care about. But I'm having this problem where I just can't bring myself to act warmly towards them. I find I can only develop natural friendships with people I dont' care about as much which only leads to frustration and half developed friendships.
Does anyone have a similar problem? Can anyone offer advice?
