tobereleased

Yeah. i'll try a boyfriend line. I've got a couple of them up my sleeve. Yeah, i've never asked girls if they had a boyfriend or not- but they always refer them as 'their' friend when they do talk about them (atleast to me). I guess i should keep going even if i don't know, if she is involved with someone, i would get rejected anyways, so i might aswell go out with a little bit of glory- perhaps.. heh. thanx everyone.

oh yeah, one last question. How would someone find out if they had a boyfriend without going straight out and asking " do you have a boyfriend?" I don't want to get the dreaded reply of "why do you want to know?".....

that sounds great Oddjob- Sounds like your your almost done reeling her in. Good luck with the next date!! You da man!

Well, i would say it be alright if this was college, and you were after a freshman girl. But i think she would be too young for you. Her maturity level may not be what you want, and her parents may have a problem with her seeing someone thats almost a senior. I know if i was her dad i'd beat you up if you got close to my 13 year old daughter. just my opinion- you can ignore it.

Hey, i've been flirting with this girl in my class. Well, she's very flirty with me, i'm not sure if she acts the way she acts towards me with other guys, cause there is no other guys in my class. Its a pretty strange situation, even the teacher is a woman, and pretty good lookin' too. Anyways, she acts cute around me and even says "i'm so cute" (about herself).... which i found kinda cute, but also funny- and strange- ... Well, the other day i tried being more direct and a little bit more forward- and the response that i got wasn't what i expected. It appeared as if i turned her off a little. She's giving me all the signs that people here have posted about. She smiles a lot when she looks at me. She stares at me for long periods of time. she always sits next to me. oh yeah, she admires my work. Its almost as if she is enjoying the "chase" - she gives me enough to keep me interested and then pushes me back. but whats more interesting is that when i push her back, it feels as if she becomes even more attracted to me. I've more or less come to a conclusion that she wants to be 'wooed' or however you spell the word. She wants me to be more suave about it- more romantic. She's pretty much given me the thumbs up to try..... but thats the problem... i don't know how. and thats my question to girls here, Do you want to be romanced into a relationship? do you enjoy the chase? or are you so impatient that you just want the guy to come out and tell you he wants you? and how? i've heard this a couple of times "the chase is better than the catch". and for the most part i agree aswell.

Well. I don't think males and females can come to a conclusion to whomb has it worse. We can't live in eachothers shoes. Most of the 'difficulties' are what society has put upon us. "women are expected to clean up the house"... Thats totally up to you. But then again do you want a dirty house? is it sociably acceptable to have a dirty house? Someone has to do it, but it doesn't have to be the female. Women have the ability to fart in public. But its not considered sociably acceptable. But no one is stopping you. but to answer the question. I think, for myself, i have it better than most women. I'm not saying men have it better. BUT i'm sayin "I have it better than most women". Would women prefer their children coming out of some sort of machine? or would they rather have it come out of their own bodies and have the experience to give life. I wonder if any women who have replied here even has children. I'm guessing not. I wonder if any mother would rather have had their children through some sort of machine process. meaning they just take the impregnated egg out of her and have it develop in some kind of incubator. Sure its a lot of pain. But i think pain is part of the experience. Just like love, you have to be able to feel the pain to be able to understand it. but thats my male opinion.

i agree with the majority here, be c0cky and a little arrogant. But be funny about it. If they take it as an insult then i think it has gone to far. Being c0cky always gets them laughing though, gets them loose. Being sweet might give off the impression that your a push over. i've been the 'sweet' guy before.... it doesn't work. being c0cky makes things a lot more fun for both of ya.

hey Kouichi, i was in the same boat a year ago. My whole school had a field trip to the Getty museum, (ofcourse the field trip was optional). so i decided to go, either way there was no school that day. I spent the whole day with the teacher, heh. She's really hot- she useto be a ballet dancer. We had a great time, but i ofcourse blew it (long story)... --- I completely disagree with Sole. Don't be her new best friend. Don't be a rebound guy. Be her friend if you want. If thats all you want to be a friend, then i suggest to hang out. Otherwise i think you should just move on. trust me, you'll get over it. It doesn't seem like you spent that much time and effort- so i don't think you should be that emotionally attached.

We do have a friend in common... the problem is that this one friend (which is female) i sort of rejected. But i don't want to go through her friends, or be in-direct. From my point of view, that appears weak. Being a face to face kind of person is what i want to be. I'm still kicking myself about this one signal: She kind of broke out singing that one song, i don't know the title, but it goes like this- i think "one way or another, i'm going to get you- get you.." So she started singing it while looking at me... i just don't know how to react. What would you guys have done?

heh, i'm in the same boat Ghost. I filed my fafsa late. So now my financial aid is teetering. I'm not sure how much i'm going to need to pay. I'm taking 21 units... I'm already behind in half of my classes.. and theres a lot of pressure to get a 4.0 this semester. Not only that but i have a couple of freelance jobs on my back.... I'm getting excited about a girl, but i only see her once a week... and i havn't had sex for over 3 years!!!! makes me wish i was a virgin, that way maybe i wouldn't miss it as much... Needless to say, i'm getting tired of handball. But atleast i've got things to work on. oh, and i'm very glad i'm not dead, it seems being dead is not a good thing.

I don't know whats really going on with me. I havn't been in a relationship for a long time. Well, to be honest, i've only been in one relationship. The aftermath of that only left small shards of confidence. I've been over my last relationship for a while now. It took me a long time, but i'm almost a completely new individual, built back from the ground up. I feel very powerful. Emotionally i can carry myself and a few others. I'm very much independent on that level. I've almost become a megalomaniac because of the confidance i get from my work, and my talent. But when it comes to the opposite sex - i'm that 16 year old again, panicking and quivering. It's not necessairly just any girl. But when i start to like a girl, i can't seem to pull myself together. I can't get past flirting without getting dizzy, and my heart start skipping beats. It's like i'm facing the grim reaper, and its incarnated into a delicious woman. When girls are direct with their body language, pushing up next to me, touching me, whispering in my ear, licking their lips when they look at me, or when they wink at me etc. you know, direct signals... I completely start to panick and end up ignoring them completely because i get so insecure. and when i completely ignore them, it becomes rejection... So then awkard moments always arise. Like for example when my teacher and I were getting to know eachother, we were becoming good friends, we started to flirt a little and then i completely locked up on her---- and it completely ruined the semester... thats it, thats the phrase, "I lock up".. I've had some great opportunities to be with some wonderful women... But i lock up so easily... Its like when theres any kind of emotional danger infront of me, my auto pilot kicks in, and shileds just erupt around me. Not to protect me, but to capture me. ugh... I've been locking up on this girl i just recently got to know. Well, i don't know her that well. But she's giving me signals. But she's getting frustrated. Although i've been able to unlock myself for a little bit to keep her interested. She might think i'm just playing with her, but everytime i see her its like i'm going to war, i grab my flak jakket and helmet and dive for cover- cause she's loaded. Well, i don't really know what i'm saying anymore- its 2:20 a.m. right now and i got a class in the morning.

yeah, do the touching thing.. oh wait your only 14, so keep it above the waist! ...Good luck

I agree

Your coming off as very needy and very insecure about yourself. This is probably turning her off from you. Women can sense insecurity in a guy. You always call? you always initiate the contact? sounds like your her pet.... sorry, but thats just the way it sounds. Since she's not your gf, then it doesn't really mean you have any say in what she can and can't do with her male friends. check out this thread: link removed There are several good points of what women are attracted to, and what they arn't. Check it out. and good luck!

She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants... She might just like you as a "friend". She might keep the other guy around for security. She probably doesn't want to be alone. Sounds pretty immature if you ask me. If she is into you, and she was more mature about it then she would of left the other guy a while ago- seems she's just keeping the other guy on a leash. hopefully not you too. Good luck,

Yeah, sounds like she's just using you. And you seem to be caving in all the time. Don't be so needy. Back off of her. She doesn't seem to be very mature, and seems to have psychological problems... Probably not healthy for you either. she might just wind up hurting you. Sounds like she's playing with a lot of guys. There are better girls out there, go get'em.

WoW, she sounds very immature. How old is she? I agree with beec.. although, try not to be too needy. Sounds like shes already taking advantage of that because you always have to initiate the contact.. Well, good luck!

hmm... there seems to be many different opinions going on here. I myself think that sex is an important part of an adult relationship. Its not necessary. But it can help deepen the relationship... But i just wanted to ask the question: How many of you think that love is sex? . My opinion is that love is not sex. Sex can be better with love. But love doesn't need sex, and sex doesn't need love. A healthy adult relationship needs a healthy sexual life. If your holding out till your married, and your in a relationship. Would you mind if the other person had sex with someone else? It doesn't disturb your abstinance. But does it affect you because you think sex has to do something with love? Does that mean that you have to be with someone who agrees with you on your definition of sex?? So a question to the people who are waiting till marriage. Would you be in a relationship where the other person is not a virgin? The other person not being a virgin means they don't necessairly agree with your idea of what sex is. Why do you need a label in order to do what your bodies are naturally inclined to do? those are my 2 cents.

. clean yourself up as much as you can. Clean shoes/clothes/room/house/ car... Make sure you take a good shower so you don't smell bad. Smell is an important factor in attraction. shave your nose hairs! .. heh, i always forget to do that.. remember, first impressions are very important, try and look/smell good. and just bite the bullet and follow through. Good luck man.

She said she wouldn't want to have sex? So she doesn't want to have sex with you.. Not now, and what she's saying is probably not for a long time..... I read it as more like she's not attracted to you sexually. You don't turn her on. Turning her on is a big thing. She might like you just as a friend then.... Its not that she doesn't like you, it more like you don't make her hungry. (metaphore). Women can be in relationships for a long time and not have sex. I have a friend that has had the same boyfriend for about 3 years now and she's never had sex with him. I came closer to having sex with her than her boyfriend... I don't think she loves him. She's just with him for security... which is sad... So it really depends on what you want? do you want to get physical? If she does find someone who is sexually attractive to her, she will probably go with them.... since that person can fulfill a need that you don't posses.... Although, i don't know who she is, or her character. So its just my opinion. but keep in mind that sexual arausal is a good part of a healthy relationship.

Damn, there are people like me out there? the sitautions you guys explained pretty much sum up my college experience. In high school i never really had a lot of friends- so i got use to it. I did however have a little group of us hang out everyday, and having a twin brother helps.... but also hindered my "social skills". See, when you already have your best friend with you (my twin brother), you never really need anyone else.. and now that i'm in college. my brother isn't attending my school. So i'm basically alone and i don't know how to start friendships. Its now my third year, i have some "friends" but not good friends. The school is a lot of work... and that is part of the problem.. i never had time to really develop my social skills with my fellow students.... This semester seems like it will be light work, so i'm going to try and be more social.... if i can get over this social anxiety... Good luck to you guys, --- oh yeah and welcome to the forum! ... eventhough i'm new here too. heh

People should keep posting about how they overcame their fear. We hear so much about their fearfull situations, so hearing stories about when they went for it is a welcomed change. Plust its motivating me to make my move This is my third year at college. I've always been nervous when talking to girls. I talk to girls everyday, but each time i get a wave of fear come over me. I've gotten comfortable with it... to some extent. I've always been a friend. and for the most part, thats the way i wanted it. But now i want more than that.. But i'm tooo scared.... . Anyways, this new semester i have this class. Package Design. I'm the only male in there... And every girl in there is attractive. Even the teacher!! She has a sexy accent too. so you can imagiine my first day in there... i'm all quiet and barely say anything.. so it seems like a good situation to confront my fears. I'm going to be brave enough and try to flirt with the teacher. She's single! I'm a pretty talented student, so she'll definitely notice me. Thats one of the only things i'm confident about, my work. I'm not aiming for a relationship with her. But i'm going to approach her anyways... Wish me luck!! ** I'm probably going to be rejected, but i think thats the point, to get over the fear of rejection. and perhaps being rejected will be the first step to getting over it.

Hmm.. anyone else see that seinfeld episode? where jerry and elaine tried to have sex and just stay as friends? Good episode. Well Chelseablue, good luck with just being "sex buddies". I kind of wish that i could have one of those, heh.

Hah, that was a hilarious episode. Jerry gives elane like 140 dollars. One of my favorite episodes. Well, Gauchori, it will probably be a funny story you can tell your friends/family later in life- trust me. Things will get better, and so will girls, best of luck!

To me, what you said first to the first guy seemed just like a joke. I'm sure he took it that way... And i don't see why the first guy is important really to this discussion.. So lets forget about him, he's not an attractive woman afteral.. But i do understand what you mean hero. I actually feel the same kind of anxiety myself. I'm self-conscious about not having a girl. My relatives always ask me, "do you have a girlfriend yet?" even my ex gf asks me if i'm seeing someone.. (lets not discuss that.. heh ). Out of anxiety i've also rejected several girls and their approaches. I don't really know why i do it. But i finally came to a conclusion about myself. I'm not really looking for a girl right now. It seems your also concerned about the way you look? Same here, I have a slight appearance problem. I am prone to gyno. which is basically male breasts. So when i gain weight i gain it in the pectoral area and the stomach. i've put on 5 pounds.. (its just something i wanted to share, heh) Well, what i've learned from women, and about personal experience is that looks arn't really that important to them, of course first impressions ARE important. You probobably know this already. Maybe your just feeling insecure. and i think more than 90% of the population in the United States are insecure about their looks. Otherwise there wouldn't be so many products out there that were made just so we would try and look better. Well, good luck hero, if you find a way to get over your anxieties, let me know. I may need to know too