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herewegoagain

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Everything posted by herewegoagain

  1. herewegoagain
    hurthurthurt - I know exactly where you are coming from. My gf of almost 5 years dumped me about 2 months ago, and she doesn't give me the time of day, especially because she is with another guy. i also wrote her a letter about a month ago to tell her that I still love her and always will, and that I wish her the best of luck, etc. Of course, no response from her. Like you, I have felt the mental and physical pain for yhe past 2 months. It's still hard, but it does get better. It was hard at first, when I saw her with another man only two days after we broke up, but it makes me realize that she is not worth my trouble. I still miss her, but I'm starting to accept it better now. I feel like you do - I am 36 and now I'm angry that I wasted 5 years of my life with this woman who I thought I could trust and spend the rest of my life with, have chidren, etc. But I realize that will not happen with her. I am worried like you that I will be alone, and never have a family. On the bright side, you are only 29 - much more time. Take your time - I'm sure you are an attractive woman, and will have no problem finding someone. remember, if you know it's over with him, then try to move on. I know it's hard but worry about yourself now. Also, if you regret sending the letter, you might want to send him another letter, email, etc to let him know that you were emotionally distraught when you wrote the letter, and that if things can't work out, that hopefully you two can at least be friends.
  2. herewegoagain
    Empathy - i feel the exact same as you. My mind knows that my ex gf will never come back to me, but my heart thinks that she will. Like you, I'm trying so hard not to want my ex back, but it is harder said than done. It's an awful feeling, believe me, I know. it's been almost 2 months for me, and I still miss her, but at the same time, I'm trying to get myself to hate her just so i can move on. As they all say, it just takes time.
  3. herewegoagain
    Kittengirl - i'm glad to hear that you found someone and your ex tried to come back to you. That is awesome!!! Good for you. And like the bottom of your post says - "What goes around, comes around"
  4. herewegoagain
    I think that you should act confident and not start crying and begging, but I also think it may help if you tell that person that you miss them, especially if it is a girl you are trying to get back. I think females are a little more sensitive (not my ex, though LOL) and kind of feel more needed when a man tells them that. That's why I have always wondered about NC, and how it may not be so good all the time. Believe me, I'm sticking to NC, but I still doubt whether it is the best decision. Because I think females almost want to see if their ex still wants them. I've heard stories about how a woman would say"He never tried to get back with me, he must have never cared." I also know of a woman who got married and said that if her ex showed up the day of her wedding where she was getting married to someone else, she would have dumped her groom!! Of course, the opposite can be true - if we try too much, we become a nuisance, and it backfires. sorry if i got a little off subject.
  5. herewegoagain
    I definitely don't think that it will take you another 9 minths. I know it's tough. I saw my ex gf out with someone only a few days after she broke up with me. Do you still have feelings for her? If that was me i would be torn between talking to her, and not saying a word to her at all. That's a tough one. Some people will say just be her friend, others will say to not contact her at all. I wish I had all the answers. But I guess it depends on your true feelings for her. I believe that once you get over this pain again, I think you will definitely be able to move on better. Because now, you know that she is with someone else, and you do not always have to wonder anymore. Now you know it's a fact, and now you can move on. Do you still talk/email each other anymore?
  6. herewegoagain
    Rich - you are totally right.
  7. herewegoagain
    rich - you are kind of correct when you said that I should forget about her, especially since she could just turn her feeling off for me so quick. You are basically right, but as I think about what you have said before with your ex, I wish I would have done someting when I noticed that she was starting to act a little distant toward me. But for you, at least she didn't do it because of another guy, but mine did.
  8. herewegoagain
    Revenge - that would be nice. But unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. The only revenge that I can think of is the old saying - "WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND"
  9. herewegoagain
    LOL - I hear ya'. Is it a good movie? I may have to get it this weekend.
  10. herewegoagain
    It seems like everybody's ex seems to at least call the dumpee once in a while. Darn, mine hasn't contacted me since we broke up 7 weeks ago. the only time she contacted me was so she could get some of her belongings!! it's just kind of depressing that everybody else at least gets an email or phone call every once in a while, but not me. oh well, there's nothing i can do. i guess I can take that as a hint that she wants nothing to do with me, especially since she is seeing someone else. But it is just so hard to believe that after 4 1/2 years, she just turned it all off with no remorse.
  11. herewegoagain
    Well, on a positive note, at least she called you. So she will probably call you again sometime. My ex gf has not called me at all, but I wish she would. So if it makes any difference, I sure would like to be in your shoes instead of mine.
  12. herewegoagain
    Well, at least your ex wanted to meet you. My ex is also seeing someone else, and I know she would not want to meet me anytime soon, if ever. I wish she would, but I know that probably will not happen. Also, at least your ex has some regard to your feelings. Mine couldn't care less. Also, it's funny how you said that your ex doesn't seem happy. that's the way my ex gf acted about a month ago, but who knows?
  13. herewegoagain
    Raykay - you say things are supposed to pick up again? Do you know when? Any good websites, etc that will enlighten us more? Also, when you say things will pick up again, do you mean a lot more breakups? That could be good - maybe my ex gf and her new bf will breakup!!!! LOL To all - yes, I have definitely noticed a major decrease in posts about breaking up. Maybe there is something to all this astrology, numbers, tarot, etc.
  14. herewegoagain
    I know what you mean - no contact is so hard. Most people on this forum say to drop all contact with your ex (emails, phone calls, everything). this will help you to move on and heal, and it also may make your ex start to wonder about you more, which may spark him to call you and show interest. I'm kind of like you though, I would like to give my ex gf an email every once in a while, but I haven't because most everybody says it will push her away more. So, I don't know what to tell you, except that most people in this forum will tell you to do STRICT NO CONTACT. It's been 3 weeks of NC for me, and it is still just so darn hard to do.
  15. herewegoagain
    Miserablekitty - i know it's tough, but what you have to understand is that YOU did nothing wrong. That should make you feel somewhat better. You seem like a good person, and put your trust in him, and got nothing but deception and lies from him. Trust me - you are better off without him - don't waste your time with him. I know it's hard to move on (my ex gf started dating someone else immediately/before our breakup). I'm still trying to move on, but it is so hard, but deep down, after someone does that to us - would you really want that person back?
  16. herewegoagain
    i'm not cutting you down, but he's not a good person for starting to date you when he had a girlfriend. Can i ask you this - How did you NOT know that he had a girlfriend? Just curious.
  17. herewegoagain
    You were seeing him when he had a girlfriend? Now look, he is doing the same thing. Forget him. Remember, what goes around, comes around. You are young, and have plenty of more men to go after. Don't waste your time on him. In fact, I should be taking my own advice, because my ex gf isn't worth the pain she put on me.
  18. herewegoagain
    Hockeyboy - I looked at your other thread, and I posted a question/response for you in there. thanks.
  19. herewegoagain
    Anyone have any ideas on how to give up on your ex? Especially since she is seeing someone else? I know that my mind says to move on, but my heart is still hoping for her to call someday. It's been 6-7 weeks. Any suggestions on getting rid of the hope? I'm actually trying to make myself hate her in a way, but that doesn't work. I'm trying everything - working out, going out, partying, etc. but nothing seems to help. It's so obvious that she wants absolutely nothing to do with me, but my darn heart can't see it. I have this dumb idea that she still may come back because of our 4 1/2 years spent together. what the heck is wrong with me? I wish I could get to the point where I despise her, but I can't do it. Any suggestions?
  20. herewegoagain
    i agree with what you said, but here's the problem - How can we be seen by our ex when we are out having a good time? Do you mean just hope for a coincidence that we end up seeing them somewhere? Also, my ex gf is already with another man. Actually, she immediately went to him.
  21. herewegoagain
    Sisterlynch - I am the guy. I was referring to my ex girlfriend. what do you mean that girls like to "fix" others?
  22. herewegoagain
    Poca - I see what you are saying, but I wish I did see my ex gf everyday at work. that way, you can show him/her that you are doing ok without them, etc. Also, I think that may even help you two to reconcile, if that's what you ever wanted. Just my opinion, but I'm sure others will disagree.
  23. herewegoagain
    Just wondering (like always) why doesn't letting your ex know how bad you are doing make him/her realize how much you care. I know everybody says to do NC, and act like you are moving on and doing fine without her, but i wonder if the reverse strategy works. I mean not bugging her/him all the time, but why can't we just let them know that we are zombies without them, and are miserable without them in our lives?
  24. herewegoagain
    Avman - you are probably right that she will not come back. I have the same problem as whattheheck. In fact, part of the reason she broke up with me was because she was interested in the other guy - a "grass is greener" thing. So i guess we have to move on.
  25. herewegoagain
    Fantasia - same here - i would feel so much better if my ex gf at least said she was sorry for the way she treated me during the breakup. But as you said, that will never happen. It's a shame how people just do not do the right/moral thing anymore. What ever happened to "treat others as you would like to be treated?"
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