black_magic

Fate and love is something i guess see just like you, like when you writ, somethings happen and you put it down to fate when it could be just a coinsidence, i think its just the way people take it and how things come out, its like once when i had to make an important phone call and you say to yourself if they dont pick up its fate, its not fate its just them going out and enjoying themselves, different people put things down to different reason, its just the way you feel at that moment. For me, i am one of those people who feel thats love is something that changes maybe in stages like you wrote but maybe you just gain a wider view, its often people feel the ones who they first thought they loved when they were really young were possibly lust or just a laugh, but i mean only at my age now, nine months down the line do i feel that this is love, but for me i dont want anyone else, yes there maybe that through fate or a possible life event that im temped but not now, my boyfriend spoke to me and he made me vision something he wanted with me that sounded something out of a fairy tale but could deffinitley come true (if that makes sense) I guess what im saying, for the moment this is something that feels so right, you can check out my posts and you see that every literally isnt allright but it feels perfect and i love him through any possible faults and i reckon he feels the same, for me there cant be a feeling like this again, maybe more which i culdnt imagine or less, but not this, i feel that what i have now is something more than fate and just a general love, i believe in it anyway! I hope within the last three paragraphs youve gained part of an answer, i think i went a little off par. black magic

I have to agree with whats being said, i think that myself should be enough although if its a lads night out or something planned for an occasion then i wouldnt derpive him of a good time and a laugh, i mean i wouldnt feel all too comfortable but if i wanted to go to some saucy meeting or out with the girls then i would hope that he had the same opinion, i would feel a small amount more insecure though if he just decided to up and go on his own, because then i would be feeling a little astray from what was happening, but thats just me black magic

I can agree with the statement that every body wants to stop the pain, but when i was having thoughts of suicide, i dont know if was pain or the lack of control i had over my emotions, i had experianced not short since from me taking actions on it, and if i was honest i can say that i was conscious of others opinion on the matter and what others would feel, i also felt that i wasnt on par with regular views and that i was only stimulating on taking away different assets that i wasnt able to control at that moment, so thats why i did take action to gain control. I agree with what avman has written, and when i wrote that it could be compared to smoking, i didnt mean it as light as it sounded, (mainly because its obvious that they arent the same) but i writ it to show that somtimes people are not aware of what is happening, some people arent aware of what is happening to themselves when smoking, as some people arent aware of things around them or all of their conscious thoughts when experiancing such dramatic conclusions etc. Im not explaining this well, but i believe a good point has been made by what others have written. black magic

I really liked your poem, i thought it was creative and i thought you used a good message and imagery to put your point accross, great poem though! black magic

Heya, i wouldnt worry you sound find to me, im a nice b cup, and well as i always say, im in proportion, anything different and id look false, sure ive got time to grow but im happy with my structure as i am, most men have a preferance but you have what you have right? i really wouldnt worry about it, and if it becomes a major issue about the porn or pictures then confront him, i know ive thought for a long time that as long as my boyfriend was happy that was great, until i guess i felt a little uncomfortable with him pleasuring himself with the thought of another girl when wed been together so long, which doesnt really bother me as much, but if thats the case or him enjoying other women just because they have bigger boobs then sort it out. i asked my boyfriend how he would feel if i was to be touching myself and getting off on the thought of another man and i can assure you he didnt feel good about it when he thought in depth about what was happening, still, that might not be the case, black magic

Heya girl, i wouldnt worry about this little sitauation, and if im right there is certainly a higher ratio of girls like you, me included, quite frankly i know that my boyfriend loves it and it doesnt stop him with anything, youll find that its no problem at all, i guess you can have a problem when its a lot larger but thats something you can deal with, i guess i cant tell if your trying to say your overly out of proportion or something but by the sounds of it your bdy is completely natural! and they wont run for the hills! black magic

I think suicide is a choice, i think the example of smoking was pretty well given, but i guess with a lot more exaggeration to what it is, i guess its something that a person chooses themself, and often its not others that have driven them to it but themselves, i guess for me, suicide has always been a two sided coin, where i can see a right and a wrong, for example, a man who commits a murder and takes it as i would see it the easy way out and commits suicide in prison. i dont think that thats right, i dont think i have a great reason why thats not right but its what i believe, but i think suicide is something that often isnt dont in the thought or action of being selfish, i believe that people can truly believe or get into a state of mind by which they feel they would be doing good to others for taking out the action. suicide is something different for everyone, suicide was a thought for me but only once to gain control so i guess i have never thought like another has thought, and i guess i also believe thats what others should see, no one has ever been able to experiance what another is thinking so how will anyone truly know after someone has commited suicide, what kind of act it was. For example, is a person leaving a suicide note, more selfish that another? does the content of the note change anything? or does someone who doesnt leave a note, making others believe they are being selfish, actally feel that no one would want to hear what they have to say? so like i said, ive always been open to opinion. black magic

Obviously there isnt a perfect huy in the sense that well a person is perfect but a perfect guy for me, would be the person who im with now, at the beginning i thought, this has seriously got something that i have to work for, in the sense that our backgrounds and people around us would cause a battle from the beginning, but it didnt stop me. i like him because he was honest, open, and he showed a side to me that he didnt usually with others, he contradicted every thought that i had of him and shon though, so that why i love him. but i guess after learning that his personality attracted me, hisblove for others around him, his talent on guitar that hes devoted to, the way he treats me with respect, everything about him even what others would see as faults! black magic

somtimes for some of us, such things as remaining friends or contacting isnt the right thing, i know that i stayed in touch with my ex, i still do, but there was a stage where we had to be completely away from each other, the actual talking and meeting up was only prolonging the break up (despite not being together) and prolonging the hurt, he may feel that he needs to move away just so that he can over come his feelings and the only method that he feels he can act on well is being aggressive for you not to want to be around him, generally emotions can be mixed and shown in different forms to provide a mask, this could be him saying, he generally needs to take a step back and not see you as much. black magic

somtimes the ones you pressume are immature or the ones who are actually scared of being hurt and instead hide it under this mask, i mean i found that my boyfriend despite how shy but a little wild he was at the beginning hid most things behind this, he wasnt actually shy but didnt want to be used and had had it done before, and his nature was based on an ex cheating i found that if i tried then it wasnt really what it seemed you know? but i must admit there has been experiances that you could say that people are generally selfish, but sometimes its just a person realising what theyve lost and will not gain again. my ex treated me pathetically straight after the breakup, with phone calls, threats to other men around me, he completely changed, hes very close to me now but thats only so he can keep an eye on me, in some form he truly does care but he cant let go and thats not what i expected, like they say half the time the books not always about whats on the cover! or atleast thats what i found out! black magic

As said above most girls dont really think about it, some people do like it all shaved off but really trim or natural isnt that bad a thing to find, i mean most girls dont think about it thorough and maybe it could be a choice like when my boyfriend asked me if i wanted him to change anything, everyones preferance is different. black magic

I liked your poem, mainly through the way that you explained that it isnt something negative because its what you have to gain, i have always viewed that maybe hell isnt that bad a place when you dont see through the negative already. i thought it was creative and deffinitley and wide and well written poem. black magic!

thats weet my ten months is in 24 days, or i pretty sure if theres 31 days in this month anyway, is there anything particular that your girlfriend has really enjoyed doing in her life, for example theres a certain park for my boyfriend that holds a lot of momories that he really enjoys, and theres like a certain restaurant that he has always wanted to go to, i think that mybe if you can pick up on something she has said in the past and apply it to that particular day then you will deffinitley be on par with a great date! just dont do something too out of the blue but make sure theres thought and meaning, thats what im going to do anyway. black magic

hey giggirl, for starters thankyou very much for your reply, it has helped me. but as for my respond : I can see what you mean by others hurting me, ive had the issue of my exs trying to actually get back with me and I seem to be pretty open with my boyfriend when this happens because I don't think its fair that I should hide it and if I don't tell him it feels like ive done something wrong anyway. People do try to come in between me and him but others around us do boost the relationship, our relationships isn't based on others views because we spend a lot of time together, well more so than in the group, its just how quick we can be influenced as you said. The issue of jealousy was brought up, I knew there was a problem and I asked him and he denied but we then found being around people difficult and again only being together so I asked again what was happening, and this was when we discussed the issue of jealousy and attitudes around others, my nature is quite bubbly and I am naturally open to others which means that I show gestures and feelings such as hugging others a lot more than he does, so I could see where the problem was. Jealousy is something I can handle but I don't know If stepping away from others is, I know that its better to move away from my ex, but whilst he sees him as my ex I see him as a best friend, do you know what im saying, so for him its like why cant you do this for me, and for me its like this relationship was over like a year ago and cant you see that I love you. The only problem I find is that im waiting for a line such as ''if you love me….'' Hes not like this, but people can change others attitudes right? Don't worry about people telling lies, they have got nothing to say, hes open about that and asks me quite a few things, we have learnt to confront something's but often I can ask something and hes so scared of loosing me or so scared of the result that we don't talk over it, this is something I have to deal with also but I never push him. I will definitely ask him what's happening and hopefully with him being away from me for over two weeks in France we can kind of realize what's going on etc. And thanks, I hope everything works out as well, but I never have wanted to be in a one sided relationship despite how strong my feelings are for him! Black magic.

ok, i remember quoting, just for me ''i wont be worrying about a needle anymore'' this was a joke, but ill be honest it wasnt the most joyfull moment, it didnt last too long the pain, maybe a couple of seconds or so so that you realised it but i can assure you if it was special like mine then you wont worry about that, i did bleed quite a bit and we didnt use a towel but i did have to take a shower, i was surprised for me, that it didnt stop bleeding for a while, he was bigger than i expected him to be and the words ''i cant put a condom on yet because i am not fully erect'' was not my worlds best dream. but i was lucky to have a man who looked after me and cleared everythign up, despite a tadge of pain and little too long a bleeding ME: it was great and i wouldnt have changed it. Black magic

the shower shouldnt have been a problem but like you put id go for the hand lation as a different lubrication or to enable you to go faster, the only problem could have been t get an allergic reaction, but when picking a lotion ensure that its not scented or something and im pretty sure you will be ok! Black magic

hey i liked your poem, i thought the issue was something close to my heart and something im glad didnt work out, i think that under is real sweet and i guess as your poem has said youve spent years trying to figure this out. my own past experiance where itruly felt that taking my life was something worth while was only for me to gain my own strength and independance back to see that i should only be the ruler of my life and not others around you, i really hope that you gain strength from this and then decide that isnt not something you need to go through with. even though others are smiling around you i can assure you there is someone out there feeling exactly the same way as you and wantingyou to initiate a smile. hopefully you can read this and maybe we can talk but if not, good luck in life if that isnt so, im make sure your taking the right walk!! Black magic!

hey, i really liked your poetry, i can relate through the aspect of emotions being shed but i dont actually self harm, personally i have once had to deal with the issue of suicide and such thoughts. i liked your poetry mainly because its honest and realistic in views, i enjoyed reading it. black magic

hey everyone, first post opening up here so a little nervous. I guess my issue on todays post is that i have been in what seemed to be my strongest relationship for nine months, i felt and still feel amazed by the fact that im in it, i feel that this is one of things that you can and only could put down to fate, it took a lot for this relationship to work as i was reminded by my friend the other day, we came into this relationship knowing that both of our relationship were each others closest friends, this wasnt too large of an issue mainly because the relationships were long over and no chance of rewinding together again after such a long period. This caused though for us a rough first month, i know your probably thinking well this is eight months down the line here why you telling us, im sayihng it because these people are still an issue, both my ex now and a close friend of mine have been saying how they have lost out on loosing me within relationships, now im not one to be unfaithful so dont get me wrong, but as seen before they are close friends, as is my boyfriends ex to him. As hard as it is to admit this weve both seen a bit of the green eyes monster in which me and my boyfriend have not been angered by the others getting close but being upset, i guess this became a bigger issue than the both of us would like to accept and the relationship without thinking became more physical than emotional, this hurt me even more when realising it, mainly because i began to feel my feelings were greater and was now being played. this relationship was set up on foundation i promised not to cheat where he promised not to lie. we had a talk and he admittedly said that he did not love me the way i loved him, but after this and me feeling he had lied, he was my first love, i slept with him, and as foolishly so it was done after hearing him tell me he loved me. dont get this man wrong i can assure you he doesnt mess girls around. but i did feel used, but also i feel confused, he sent me a message later saying he loved me and he talked about how me feeling confused about loving and his feelings made him feel confused about the way he felt, it was a long day with a lot of emotion and tears, so i can see why he might have opened his eyes to his feelings. but my questions are, is he using me? or does he really have strong feelings, im treading a thin line and when it breaks i dont know which side im going to fall on, sorry about the long post, black magic.