whisper

There is this girl that I have come to become quite good friends with. I recently found out that her and my ex boyfriend have started dating. The last two months of mine and this girl's friendship has been spent her telling me that she doesn't want a boyfriend and that she is just friends with my ex, and nothing will happen because she doesn't want to hurt me. I found out from someone else that they are together now. Neither her or my ex has admitted it to me, and neither of them know that I know. For some reason I can't bring myself to tell them that I know. I'm slightly taken aback that she ended up getting with him, but I'm even more so that she hasn't told me. This situation gets especially sticky, since the girl that I am talking about spent the night talking to my ex on the phone the NIGHT BEFORE we broke up. Erm .. At the moment I'm not talking to either of them... it's kind of pissed me off.

My ex told me last night that he doesn't want to talk to or see me anymore because he feels that he can't get over me if he continues to do so. He broke up with me, and we broke up about two months ago. Up until tonight he's been really nice the whole time. He had one of his friends IM me and say horribly mean things to me about how my ex doesn't want anything to do with me, etc. And my ex applauded him for being so cold. I'm extremely baffled, this goes completely against my ex's character. Is there some underlying meaning to this other than him just being mean?

Yeah ... I didn't mean to come off so rudely when I told him that. We aren't even going to be talking to eachother through AIM now or anything. It's been two months since him and I broke up, I just find it odd that he's just NOW having to distance himself from me.

My ex confronted me today, just as I was about to confront him. I told him that I wanted to meet up in person to talk to him about something. He told me that he didn't think we should see eachother in person for the next two weeks. Here, I'll just post the convo ... It'll be easier to understand that way: Him: I think it'd be best if we nixed the in person talk, but don't mind talking on the phone or internet about whatever it is you need to talk to me about Me: mind telling me why you think it'd be best if we nixed the in person talk? Him: because i don't wanna talk to you in person or be with you in person Him: ...right now Him: you can't go from being as close as we were to being friends like that and as long as we're still seeing each other, its not going to make it any better. i'm not saying that i won't be your friend or that i won't be there for you still, but i think it's for the best if we distanced ourselves right now and let time play its part in this. Him: Trying to get over you isn't something thta's gonna come lickey-split, and as long as I keep seeing you, it's like a crack wh*re getting just a little more. It'll keep it in your system an dyou'll never be able to get over it Him : soooo Him: I'm cutting the crack, and stopping my wh*re actions ! Me: ..... I thought you were over me Him: negative Me: *throws hands up in air* Him: I thought that would be kinda obvious due to our last encounters Me: no, not really Me: I thought you just wanted some action Me: honestly Me that's all it was to me .... Me: hence why i didn't have any problems with it Him: welp Him: that sucks Him: but Him: back to topic, no, I wasn't Him: it was a little more than that to me Him: aaaaaaaand Him: I'm not going to keep myself in Limbo worrying and fighting with myself Me: You don't think that your feelings are going to magically change from now to when school starts, do you? Him: i'll tell you in two weeks Incase anyone wonders, the encounters he was talking about ... last few times him and I got together we fooled around. Anyway, my question is ... should I read anything into this besides him just wanting to get away from me?

Thank you for the advice. I have a question: What do I do when school starts in three weeks? Him and I will most likely have one or two classes together ...

I apologize in advance for the length. I am 17. I started dating Michael when I was almost 16. He was my first boyfriend (although he had had other relationships) and a few months into our relationship we found ourselves in love. Yes we were/are young but I assure you it was true. Everything was great and he told me that he wanted to be with me for as long as he could, etc. About 10 months into him and I being together, things started changing. I would get mad very easily and pout over the silliest things. I'd get upset if he wanted to stay home and relax instead of hanging out with me that night. He stopped telling me all the time that I made him happy, he stopped sending me sweet emails and the things that I loved so much about our relationship in the begginning weren't there anymore. I brought it up to him and we had a good discussion about it. That was always the good thing with Michael and I. We could talk about anything and everything and we hardly ever fought with eachother because we'd always talk it out before either of us got to the point of being angry. But yeah, when I brought up the changes I was seeing in the way he acted towards me, he said that he still loved me just as much and that I still made him happy and that there wasn't anything to worry about. And I believed him because things were still the same between him and I when we were in person. The only thing that changed was there wasn't a constant reminder from him that he was thinking of me when he wasn't with me (the emails, etc.) About a month later (the 11th month mark) he started mentioning that he would be doing things like cutting the grass and wondering why him and I together. And that he'd tell himself that it was because him and I went together so well, that we matched up so well. He also said he was starting to wonder what it'd be like if he was with someone else (no one in particular, there WAS NOT another girl that he liked or anything like that) and he started thinking that he could get along with someone else just as if not better than him and I got along. But he said that he would never be able to leave me because he couldn't hurt me and he couldn't fathom being without me. I shrugged his thinking off as typical teenage male hormones always thinking the grass is greener, etc. I lost a lot of my independance when I got so wrapped up in him. I was dependant on him for my happiness and I would have spent every waking hour with him if I could. I always wanted to be by his side. I realize now that I made a huge mistake in not staying independent and I made a huge mistake of being too clingy and too pouty. The night before our one year anniversary, him and I got into a fight because I was upset that he wouldn't come get me and take me to sonic. He had to meet a friend (who happened to be a girl) so that he could give her is work application. I told him it wasn't nice to ditch his girlfriend and I was very immature. That blew over rather quickly though, and things seemed to be fine later on that night. Him and I started asking eachother random questions about life (we did this frequently) and I asked him if he saw us together in two or three years. He said no. I asked him if he WANTED to be with me in two or three years and he said, "If I am still happy, yes" Apparently he thought about that really long and hard that night, even talked to a friend. She told him that if that's really how he felt that he needed to do what was best for him. He came over the next day (on our one year anniversary) told me he loved me and then told me he was thinking a lot about what was said last night and he realized that the person he was with he just didn't want to be with anymore. He wants something different. Someone else, someone with a different kind of personality. And that's all there really was to it. The first month after our break up him and I still talked via AIM but didn't really talk nearly as much as we used to, and I only saw him about three times. I was a HUGE MESS. I took our break up very badly and he was very worried yet at the same time he didn't like that he had caused it and it made him want to distance himself from me. He never has liked being around upset people, he can't handle his own emotions let alone someone elses. The past two weeks him and I have started talking a lot more and started hanging out a lot (about 6 times in two weeks) things seemd to be getting to a point where him and I could be friends. There was only ONE problem. The last two times him and I got together we fooled around big time. Made out, got naked, you get the idea .... I'll spare you from the details. Four nights ago him and I got into a huge fight and he told me that he is indeed happier now that he's not with me, and that he doesn't want anything more than a friendship with me and that the fooling around happened just because he wanted to fool around (fine, that's really the only reason I did it too). He told me that he thinks I'm hypocritcal and see only what I want to see and hear only what I want to hear. He told me that I was a huge part of his life and he can't just leave me behind but as of late (as in, that day) he wants to get further and further away from me. His words hurt a lot and he's now on vacation (he left that night that we got into the fight) .. I wont see or talk to him for a week. I've grown a tremendous amount since he broke up with me. I am no longer falling apart, and I am fairly happy. I don't need him anymore. BUT - I still want to have him back more than anything. He says he still loves me and probably always will. I don't want to want him anymore because it hurts so bad. But I can't stop wanting him. I can't stop wanting to try us again. Ugh. I don't know what to do.